Inspiration from the Couch

In today’s episode, Lucy, Jamie, and Avery talk about all things related to validation. We think of validation as a fundamental communication and healing skill, which, in essence, says “I see you.” There is great power in being seen, heard, and understood just as we are. We explore what validation is and what it is not. (HINT: validation is not approval, agreement, reassurance, judgment, or problem solving.) We share common ways that we invalidate ourselves and others, and we also talk about how to validate. We illustrate all of this with some concrete examples. 

In this episode we discuss:

• The rational for why we want to validate ourselves and others
• What it means (and does not mean) to validate
• Common pitfalls of invalidation
• When we should validate
• How to validate

Do try this at home:

• Practice naming your feelings. Write down what you are feeling in the moment. (Remember that feelings are typically one word…thoughts are several words strung together!)
• Be mindful of the process of validation and invalidation, and begin to notice how those feel to you. 
• Stay in the present when interacting with another human – avoid going into the past or future. 

In our first book club episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy discuss The Trance of Scarcity by Victoria Castle. We talk about Victoria’s brilliant metaphor of being “in the Circle” (where you live with flow, abundance, vitality, and ease) versus being “out of the Circle” (where life is defined by a sense of not enough-ness, constriction, urgency, separateness, and depletion). We explore two ways for getting back in the Circle: trading up our Stories and tuning into our Somas (a fancy phrase for physical bodies). Throughout the episode, we share about our personal experiences to help bring these concepts to life in real and applied ways. 

Note: No prior reading/knowledge of this book is required to enjoy and benefit from this episode. 

“Your job is not to figure everything out. Your job is to tune in and become available to infinite possibility.” – Victoria Castle, The Trance of Scarcity

In this episode we discuss:

• How it feels and what it’s like to be “in” versus “out” of the Circle
• Common factors that pull us out of the Circle
• Ways to get back into the Circle, including how to catch/trade up our Stories and how to work directly with our Somas

Do try this at home:

• Practice offering yourself compassion ( “Oh Darling” and hands on body)
• Focus on what is, not what is missing
• Notice and work with your body/soma – intentionally loosen and soften any tension/constriction
• Notice and name when you are in or out of the Circle – practice curiosity

Avery, Lucy, and Jamie chat about Wise Mind (aka, “Intuition” or “Knowing”) in the fourth episode. We discuss how to tap into one’s inner wisdom through incorporating emotions, thoughts, and the body, rather than over-relying on external sources to make effective decisions. We share stories of our own struggles connecting with Wise Mind and what we have learned to overcome these barriers.

In this episode we discuss:

• Definitions of Wise Mind, Emotion Mind, and Reasonable Mind, as well as providing personal examples of each
• Guiding principles of connecting with Wise Mind
• Barriers to tapping into Wise Mind
• How Wise Mind can be useful to parenting
• Tips for connecting with Wise Mind

Do try this at home:

• Listen to all facets of our direct experience
• Focus on the breath
• Pause between urges/urgency and behaviors
• Stop multi-tasking
• Tune in and ask yourself, “What does my wise mind say about this?”

Warning: this episode is coming in hot with a few unexpected F-bombs. Be prepared! Or at least pop in your earbuds if you have small kids loitering or skip to the 52 second mark to avoid altogether! In today’s episode we talk about the importance of play. As adults, it can be hard to connect with “nonproductive” activity such as play. Jamie, Lucy, and Avery share their own experiences with play, discuss benefits of play, and encourage listeners to experiment with play to connect more fully with themselves and the world, both personally and professionally. 

We don’t stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.—George Bernard Shaw. 

In this episode we discuss:

• Play’s impact on our brains and overall well-being (the lesson of the sea squirt!)
• How play differs from other activities
• Connecting with childhood memories of play
• Different modes of play
• Tips for creating more opportunities for play

Do try this at home:

• Find everyday opportunities to play
• Connect to play through movement
• Create a safe space for play
• Allow yourself to be a beginner again
• Surround yourself with others who are supportive of play

Join Jamie, Lucy, and Avery for an episode on The Pandemic Experience, recorded in April of 2021. As we look back over the last year, we reflect on our personal journeys and what we have noticed from a professional standpoint in our work as psychologists. We talk about the strategies that have helped us cope with challenges this year and the lessons we hope to hold onto going forward. 

In this episode we discuss: 

• The pandemic experience over the past year
• What we have noticed personally and professionally
• Naming what's so
• Different aspects of the pandemic experience that have caused stress over the last year and as the world starts to re-open
• How different age groups/populations have been impacted differently
• What has been helpful in surviving and even thriving in the pandemic, including coping strategies and lessons learned

Do try this at home:  

• Offer yourself compassion and validation
• Look for ways to make meaning out of the challenge
• Be intentional about holding on to some of the lessons learned
• Gratitude
• Connect to self and others
• Stay resourced

This first episode introduces you to Drs. Avery Hoenig, Jamie Wilson, and Lucy Smith, the creators and co-hosts of the Inspiration from the Couch podcast. As both psychologists and moms, they have created this podcast to share the pearls of wisdom that they have found transformative in their personal lives and in their professional endeavors. In Episode 1, Avery, Jamie, and Lucy tell you about themselves and about the process of creating Inspiration from the Couch. They also give a sneak peek of what lies ahead for listeners in future episodes.

In this episode we discuss: 

• Who we are (moms and psychologists in private practice in Dallas, TX!)
• Our motivation for creating a podcast
• Inspiration behind the name
• What we hope listeners gain from our show
• A sneak peak of what’s ahead