Inspiration from the Couch

Today’s episode begins with Jamie, Lucy, and Avery exploring wonder: instances of wonder, how we experience it in the body, the benefits of wonder, and some of the cultural, personal, and developmental factors that impact our experiences of wonder. We identify 6 facets of wonder: openness, curiosity, bewilderment, hope, connection, and admiration, and we explore how creating “packs” in our lives can help facilitate wonder. 

Do try this at home: 

• Incorporate time in your week to slow down and be present. 
• Do less to allow space to connect with wonder. 
• Intentionally tap into your 7-year-old self.

Resources: 

• Tracking Wonder by Jeffrey Davis

In this episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy think back to the holiday season last year and discuss one of the things that we missed most: the “hustle and bustle.” We talk about being intentional in keeping the fun parts of the hustle and bustle this year and dropping the not-so-fun aspects of the holiday rush to preserve our mental health. 

Do try this at home: 

• Enjoy the hustle and bustle. 
• Let the parts you don’t enjoy go. 
• Incorporate flexibility in your activities.
• Practice self-compassion during the holidays (and the rest of the year too)

The “Not To Do List”: https://sagegrayson.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Sage-Grayson-Not-To-Do-List.pdf

Today Avery, Jamie, and Lucy talk about all things related to Joy. We explore what, exactly, joy is, how we experience joy, barriers to joy, and opportunities for increasing joy in our lives. To help us better understand this topic, we surveyed people with the following 5 questions: 

1. How do you define joy?
2. What are some characteristics of joy? Describe your experiences of joy?
3. What brings you joy in your life?
4. Tell me your most joy filled memory. 
5. What interferes with joy?

Do try this at home: 

• Intentionally notice joy. Be mindful and aware of things in your life that create joy. (Note: you might have to slow down and get a little still to really notice!)
• Practice gratitude, as this can lead to joy. 
• Look for joy in the simple moments. 
• Try a Loving Kindness practice. You can start with “I wish for X to be happy” or “May X be free of suffering.” Fill in the blank with someone in your life. 
• 3 Breath Meditation: Take 3 breaths. On the first, bring your full attention to the process of breathing. On the second, calm your physical body. On the third, bring joy to mind in any way. If step 3 is hard, deliberately bring a smile to your face and see what happens. (You can also try this using a minute of breaths per step, rather than just a breath.)

For many people the holiday season is not always the most wonderful time of year. According to a recent survey, the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) reports that approximately 24% of people with a diagnosed mental illness find that the holidays make their condition “a lot” worse and 40% “somewhat” worse. Join Avery, Jamie, and Lucy in their discussion regarding how and why the holiday season can affect one’s mental health. We discuss how stress can arise from a variety of sources including loneliness, hectic schedules, overstimulation, high expectations, comparison-making, personal grief, economic concerns, separation from and/or conflict with family members, and emphasis on food and alcohol. Lastly, we offer suggestions on how to cope more effectively during the holiday season.

Do try this at home:

• Be mindful, name, and validate that holiday stress exists and can exacerbate mental illness. 
• Rehearse and role-play how you will approach various holiday events.
• Stick to routines and schedules as best as you can.
• Engage in self-care and take breaks when needed.
• Manage expectations and make holidays “ordinary” to take the pressure off.
• Ask for support from others, including mental health providers.
• 1-800-273-TALK is the National Suicide Crisis Hotline

In this episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy discuss the importance of family traditions. We discuss the characteristics of family traditions (i.e., significance, repetition, and coordination). We talk about the importance of traditions in providing predictability, connection, identity, and as a way to communicate values. We also share how the various types of family rituals/traditions (i.e., connection, love, and community) can be incorporated into our lives and we give examples of our own family traditions. Lastly, we talk about paying attention to the three phases of traditions (i.e., transition, enactment, exit) in order to strengthen family traditions even further.

It’s time for the holidays! Join Lucy, Avery, and Jamie as we kick off our holiday series with an episode on how to create an intentional holiday season. We explore common problems and complaints about the holidays, identifying factors that detract from a more peaceful and meaningful experience. We discuss how to be more intentional this holiday season, as well as the practice of being curious about what lights us up, what depletes up, and what we want to change to better align with our intentions. We then explore how to increase peace and ease while decreasing exhaustion and dread. 

Do try this at home: 

• Invitation to start a conversation around what your intentions are for the holidays.
• Write down your intentions for the holiday season. 
• If an item on your “to-do” list does not align with your intentions, cross that item off the list!
• Identify your purpose for the holiday season. Identify what you want to keep, add, subtract, or alter, with the goal of tapping into as much peace and ease as possible. 

Today we wrap up our discussion of the book Being of Power by Baron Baptiste. We have spent the last 3 episodes taking a deep dive into 3 specific practices: Be a Yes, Give it up to Get Empty, and Embrace Naked Reality. In today’s episode, we will explore some of the highlights from the remaining 6 practices Baptiste writes about in his guide to igniting an empowered life.

You do not need to have listened to any of the episodes that came before this, nor do you need to have read the book to follow along or benefit from today’s discussion. 

Do try this at home:

• Notice where you are on the continuum between messable and flexible. Where do you feel most empowered? 
• Look for opportunities to be intentional in your words or how you fill time/space in your life. 
• When you remove judgment and control, you’ll positively transform the energy in your relationships. 

In today’s episode we discuss the concept, Embrace Naked Reality, from the book, Being of Power by Baron Baptiste. Embracing naked reality refers to challenging the meaning making that we continuously do. Experiences that we have on a daily basis don’t really have an emotional charge to them --- it’s the meaning or the stories that we give to events or interactions that create that emotional charge. Jamie, Lucy, and Avery share their own examples of emotionally charged interpretations/stories vs. the “naked reality” of each situation. We explore what it feels like to practice taking off the filters (these stories, meanings, and interpretations) and come to a “neutral vision” – meaning there is nothing added that blocks or limits our view. We also share unhelpful stories, particularly stories around fear, that have been beneficial for us to drop and how grounding can be a useful tool to cope.

Note: No prior reading/knowledge of this book is required to enjoy and benefit from this episode. Similarly, you do not need to have listened to the prior episodes in this series for this episode to make sense (though we definitely recommend you listen to all of them!!!). 

Do try this at home:

• Start naming your stories/interpretations as stories and interpretations (rather than facts).
• Use essential, simple language when describing your experience.
• Ask questions and be curious about your experience rather than making assumptions.

In today’s episode we continue our in-depth dive into the book Being of Power by Baron Baptiste. The book offers 9 practices to ignite an empowered life. Last week we talked about the principle of “Be a Yes,” and today we are focusing on the practice of “Give it Up to Get Empty.” We talk about the excess “bricks” that we carry around, that weigh us down, and that interfere with us being our authentic selves. We identify the following bricks: fear, expectations, fault/blame, stories/interpretation, control, and goal-driven, get-it-right, be-right, do-it-perfectly-or-not-at-all attitudes. We share Baptiste’s 3 step process for dropping the bricks: awareness, acceptance, and declaration. We also explore how we make space for grace in our lives. 

Note: No prior reading/knowledge of this book is required to enjoy and benefit from this episode. Similarly, you do not need to have listened to the prior episodes in this series for this episode to make sense (though we definitely recommend you listen to all of them!!!). 

Do try this at home: 

• Do an inventory and decide “What do I need to give up…right here, right now?”
• Know your bricks and practice naming them. 
• Instead of adding something on, see what you can give up. 
• Use your emotions to work backwards into your bricks:
  • If feeling frustrated, ask if there is an expectation brick. 
  • If you feel stopped, ask if fear is present. 

Today’s episode marks the beginning of a four-part series. In this installment, we do a deep dive into one of the topics that we found to be most helpful and relevant in the book Being of Power by Baron Baptiste. Avery, Lucy, and Jamie explore “Being a Yes” or “being confident in your ability to turn difficulty into possibility.” We talk about what can get in the way of “being a yes” and focus on a step-by-step strategy to "Be a Yes."

Note: No prior reading/knowledge of this book is required to enjoy and benefit from this episode. 

“Being a Yes” exercise:

1.    Choose an area of your life where you feel stuck or shut down. The first one that comes to mind is probably a good one to go with. 

2.    Take out a piece of paper and write down the negative thoughts about that part of your life: worries, concerns, complaints. Don’t judge or filter, just tell the truth and get it down on paper. 

3.    Get really calm, notice your feet on the floor, and observe if there’s even a tiny sense of “something new is possible.” Write those thoughts down too. 

4.    Get clear on your intention. It may become clear just by writing and paying attention to your thoughts. If you need more clarity, you may ask yourself questions like: 

• “What really matters to me in life?” 
• “Who do I aspire to be?” 
• “What do I value” 
• “Who am I choosing to be for others and myself?”

5.    Commit to the intention. Write it down: I am going to do that. I am going to be that. 

6.    As you remain committed to the intention, pay attention to what takes you out of the intention. What is the resistance you are working against? “Our resistance dissolves by relaxing with what is and holding that space for something new to open up” (p.15).

Do try this at home:

• Try the “Being a Yes” exercise
• Quite often, we are wishy washy in our language, but there is power in declaration. Set your intention and say, “I am committed to…”  Drop the “I want” and instead say “I am.” 
• To be courageous means to live with and from the heart. Practice living from the heart.
• We would love to connect with you and hope you’ll check out our Facebook group!