Invisible Wounds: Healing from Trauma

Hey there, it's Kerri! Thank you so much for joining me on this latest episode of Invisible Wounds Healing from Trauma. This is episode 7 Early Childhood Trauma part 3. I'm so glad that we're walking the path towards healing together!

So just a quick reminder, I'm not a clinician, counselor, or physician. I'm a Certified Trauma Support Specialist with lots of lived experience with trauma. The information presented in this podcast is for educational purposes only and not meant to replace treatment by a doctor or any other licensed professional.

Also, as we talk about childhood traumatic experiences, this is NOT me giving parenting advice! I made a TON of mistakes as a parent, we all do, whether we have a trauma history or not! I'm taking information from published studies and readily available from reliable sources, like the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and others. I will also relate my personal experiences, what's made sense to me and helped me, in the hopes of connecting my thoughts and feelings to something you may have gone through. As we go through this topic, it could get a bit triggering. If it does, stop listening, take a break and do some mindful belly breathing, or any of the other exercises we've learned, and come back when you're ready.

Alright let's dive in!

In episode 6, we talked about childhood trauma between the ages of 1-6 years old. Today, we're taking a look at how trauma can impact children ages 6-12 years old. As children grow, develop, and process experiences, their behaviors can look very different the older they get. They develop more distinct personalities, likes and dislikes, and emotions. Their individual personalities begin to emerge. I know that between these ages, I radically changed in many ways, but in other ways, not so much! That fear-based thinking, hypervigilance, and survival mode was always there. That fear, anger, adult behavior, problems learning, nightmares, sleep issues, and so much more, were all common behaviors that can show up in children exposed to trauma. These things also follow us into adulthood, I know mine certainly did!

In these years between 1969 and 1975, we moved from Ohio to California, back to Ohio, then to West Virginia. During this time, we lost my grandmother, my mom's mom, whom I adored. This was my first experience with the "death" of a loved one, and it was very hard. My mom continued to bounce back and forth between hospital stays and home. My dad traveled a lot for his job, so he was gone often, which was fine with me and my mom. Things were much better when he was gone. Mom and I had our own routine, and I had that "safety" in being her caregiver. That was my little bit of "control" I thought I had. School was a nightmare! I got bullied and teased at every new school. I was painfully, almost cripplingly shy. I did everything to avoid being called on in class, I was terrified of it. I had learned that most adults "weren't safe." When I did get called on, I would have that "out of body" experience, I would just disassociate. The other kids in class would laugh at me and think I was stupid or that there was something "wrong" with me. Even teachers belittled me, made me feel worse, singled out. There were times I got physically attacked by other kids. In the 4th grade one time in the girl's bathroom, one student held my arms behind my back so another girl could punch me repeatedly in my stomach. At this same time, some neighborhood boys would catch me when I got off the bus every day to physically hurt me. I would get off the bus and run as fast as I could to get in my house before they could catch me. I remember one time, they cut me off before I could get into my yard. All I can remember was spinning crazily in a circle with one arm stretched out holding my lunchbox, like some kind of weapon that might protect me! I didn't understand at all what I could have done to provoke all of these kinds of behaviors from other kids. My mother's only response ever, was to tell me to just "ignore them, and eventually they'll get bored and stop." Believe me, it didn't work. My grandfather was living with us at this time, and it became his job to stand outside and wait for me when I got off the bus. The teasing and bullying just got worse and happened ON the bus instead! Bullying is a very real and serious issue for children. It's not just "kids being kids" particularly not for the child being bullied. During these years, children are trying to find ways to "belong", and no child wants to stand out in any negative way. I mean, at ANY age, we want to be accepted by our peers, right? Now with the addition of online or "cyber" bullying, it just takes it to an unbelievable level!

When my grandfather, my mom's dad, was living with us, it made things much more difficult. I loved him dearly, and he meant well, but he got involved in the arguments too. He was a doctor, retired by this time. He had lived with both of my uncle's and us at different times after my grandmother died. We were all happy when my dad was out of town. I have a very specific memory that comes up for me. Every evening, when my dad was gone, my mom and I would go to my grandfather's room. It was like "family" time. My grandfather would bring out his doctor's bag, a black bag with a handle, like you'd see in old movies. Then, he and my mother would give each other injections. I asked my mother, what the "shots" were. She told me they were just "shots" of B12. I was 7 at the time, I knew what that was, it was a "vitamin." My curiosity was satisfied, and I didn't think anything of it. It was my "normal." Years later, in becoming aware of my mother's addiction problems, it suddenly occurred to me, that most likely, that wasn't B12...

I remember the night my dad and my grandfather got into a huge fight. I was in bed, listening to it all. It ended up with my dad telling my grandfather he had to leave. My mother said she was leaving too. There was no mention of her taking me. I remember running out to the hallway by the front door. My dad caught me, and I looked up at him and said, "if mom's going, I'm going with her!" Dad didn't say anything, and I don't remember what happened right after that. My grandfather did leave, my mom did not. I remember at 6 years old, very clearly, trying to talk my mom into divorcing my dad. I told her that I would get a job, and take care of her, that we'd be fine! In my mind, there was no reason why a 6 year old couldn't get a job! I did a great "sell" job, she listened to me, I thought I "had" her.. I was very upset that it never happened! That "role reversal" in our relationship was just crazy!

When my dad was home, his drinking continued, and so did my parents constant fighting. If they weren't fighting, the tension in the house was awful, like something you could almost physically feel and touch. As I mentioned before, my escape was books and music. My other escape hatch was being outdoors, I loved it! Remember, this was long before personal technology! We went out to play. When you were young, did you have anything you did or any activities that enabled you to escape a bit? I remember being as young as 6 , I would wake up with the sun, grab my fishing pole, tackle box, and net, and head out. I was such a tomboy, and an avid nature and animal lover! We lived in a neighborhood with a lake and 2 ponds. I fished, hunted for frogs, turtles, and snakes! I might go back to the house for lunch, but if I did, I'd go right back out, and not come back til dark. I know that when my kids were that age, there was no way I'd let them (or even that they'd be capable of) be gone all day, or traipse around deep bodies of water alone that young! But again, this was just our "normal!"

At this age, one day, I was out with 2 of my friends, both boys my age, hunting for turtles by the lake, a young man approached us. He was friendly, and as we told him what we were doing, he said he knew a great place to find turtles, near the back of the lake. That was great! He said to follow him, and he'd show us the spot. We made our way to the back of the lake. As we kept walking, little alarm bells began going off in my mind..the route wasn't one I was familiar with, and I was afraid of getting lost. He led us to a good sized pool, fed by the lake. I looked around, and it didn't seem to me to be a good spot to find turtles. The young man then quickly began to strip off all of his clothes. I froze, I knew this wasn't right. He got into the water, and began encouraging me to get in the water with him. My mind raced, I wasn't sure how to find my way out, back to the road. At this point, both of my friends began to leave!! I screamed at them not to leave me! They hesitated, but then started to leave again…I darted after them, all of us moving as fast as we could… I told my parents about what happened, but nothing came of it, and they continued to let me roam as I wished!

My sister Erin was born in 1971, surprising us all! My mother had been told that because of her health, she wouldn't get pregnant again. But Erin was born happy and healthy. I began taking care of her and keeping her safe. My caregiver role expanded a lot! She drove me nuts as all younger siblings will, but I loved her so much.

In 1974, we moved to Morgantown West Virginia, and this move changed my life drastically, for both good and bad. Our new neighborhood was nice, and it was here, for the first time I actually made good friends with the kids on our street. Home was still the same, but the friends I made at this time, saved my life! Particularly my first real BEST friend. I won't name her but if she ever listens to this, she'll know! She was 2 years older than me, and I idolized her! She taught me so much! She taught me it was okay and SAFE to have fun, be silly, and not care what other people thought, which was a completely new idea for me! I'd always HAD to worry about what others thought, especially when it came to my peer group. I wanted to melt into the background so I wouldn't stand out.

During this time, every Sunday, we all piled into the car to go "for a drive." My grandfather was living with us again, so my parents, my sister, my grandfather, and I would all get in the car, and dad would drive us to some gorgeous scenic spot. West Virginia is beautiful, so there's lots of pretty places to see. These outings however didn't end up well. The adults were tense, short, and sniping with each other. They would make little degrading comments to each other. I tried to focus on the scenery but as always, I was hyper-attuned to the adult's attitudes, always waiting for the eventual blow up that would occur. I hated these drives, and just wanted for them to be over! Even so called "fun" activities just turned out awfully!

I didn't have guidance from readily available, healthy adults to help me work through or process things. I was on my own to figure things out, and as kids, we just don't have the skills necessary to think things out logically, or to weigh the "pros and cons" of situations. So, we develop behaviors, reactions, thoughts, and emotions, based on our own experiences. I'll give you an example of something that happened to me. I call this my "Lather, Rinse, Repeat" story! So, my best girlfriend, who taught me so much, one day we were at her house. I was 10 or 11 at the time. We were in her basement, and she was washing her hair in a big white "utility" sink. I watched her wet her hair, lather it up with shampoo, scrub for a minute, and rinse it. She grabbed her towel to wrap it around her hair, and I was stunned! I said "What are you doing? You have to shampoo it again!" She looked at me like I'd lost my mind! She asked "Why?" I said, "Because that's what it says on the shampoo bottle, lather, rinse, and repeat!" She started laughing, looked at me and said "Kerri, they put that on the bottles, so you use more shampoo, then you have to buy more quicker!" My mouth fell open in amazement as a new idea dawned on me! I lived and died by reading the directions on packages. No one taught me anything, so I read directions on everything! So, now I could change or vary things according to what I wanted, or needed? The "directions" police weren't gonna come nab me because I didn't follow directions exactly? What a concept!!! I don't know if any of you can relate, but this literally changed my view of the world!! You'll hear me talk about this again in a future episode when we'll talk about the fact that "we don't know what we don't know!"

I figured I'd tell more of my story because as we've been learning, when we experience repeated traumatic experiences especially as children, it makes physical changes in our brains. All of the distressing and traumatic events I'd experienced along with my brain in constant survival mode during those critical years of development, was "re-routing" itself. It created well-worn survival "pathways" and over time, other ways I in which I could have learned, such as developing critical thinking skills, was lessened, or diminished. Those well-worn patterns over time develop into "auto-pilot" or automatic behaviors and responses. These "go-to" behaviors just happen, we don't even have to think about it. These patterns can persist throughout our lives. Ever wonder why you react, behave, and respond to things in ways you don't understand? You might think "Why do I always (say this, do that, react that way)? It could just be those automatic "go to's" your brain developed in order to keep you safe when you needed it! The good news is that we can let those old pathways go now because they no longer serve us. As we're learning together, we are gaining knowledge, skills and tools we can use to re-wire our brains! As we practice these skills, they create new pathways in our brains! The more we practice, the more we can "re-route" those old, well worn survival automatic pathways to newer, healthier pathways! Think old worn out, two-lane road, to a shiny new 8 lane superhighway!!

So, this is where I like to close us out with a new exercise that we can add to that "mindfulness" toolbox we're building together! Remember, you don't have to do this now, or at all if you don't want to, but you might just listen and tuck it away in your mind for future reference.

These are a couple of easy Somatic Experiencing techniques to get you back in touch with your body. It can increase awareness, be grounding, and can calm anxiety.

Find a comfortable and quiet place to sit.

We always start with mindful belly breathing. Close your eyes or keep them open. Inhale slowly through your nose, your belly should naturally push out as you inhale, for a count of 5. Hold your breath for a count of 1. Slowly exhale out of your mouth, your belly should naturally move in as you exhale, for a count of five.

You can start by either closing your eyes, or you can keep them open, whatever is more comfortable for you. If your eyes are open, just let them relax on something in front of you.

Begin by bringing your awareness down to your feet. Feel your feet connecting to the floor.

Gently rock your feet up on the balls of your feet then up slightly onto your toes: this is a gentle movement with a slight lift up on your toes. Then gently drop back onto your heels. Again just coming up on the balls of your feet, your toes, and letting your heels drop. Do this a few more times. Continue your slow breathing.

Next, we're going to gently flex the toes, curl your toes in, relax, curl again, relax. You can wiggle your toes if you want. Keep flexing your toes out and curling a few more times.

Let your feet come to a place of stillness. Feel and sense the area of your feet connecting to the floor. Do you have on socks or shoes? Notice how your feet feel in your socks or shoes. Are your feet bare? Is the floor bare, or carpeted? Feel the sensation of your feet on that surface. Notice if there is any sense of temperature in your feet. if you have on shoes or socks, are your warm or cold? If your feet are bare on the floor. Is it cool, or warm?

Next, we're going to move our awareness to our seat, the area where you are connected to your chair. This helps give us a sense of grounding and stability underneath us if we are feeling a little ungrounded.

This exercise is called "Sway Like Bamboo." Bring awareness to your "sits bones" the area where you are connected to your chair. Begin to slowly shift your weight side to side, gently rocking. Your back can be connected to the back of the chair, or you could come forward a little bit. You might allow this movement to be really tiny, or really big, going really far side to side. You are swaying back and forth like a reed of bamboo, swaying in the breeze. Notice the pressure changes under each one of your "sits bones" as you sway. As you sway to the left, the pressure of your right glute, eases up a bit, becomes light, and as you sway to the right, the pressure on your left glute eases up, and becomes a little lighter. Keep swaying side to side. Relax your jaw, relax your neck. Breath in slowly and breathe out a bit longer than your inhale. Slowly and gently slow your swaying until you stop and come back to center. Rest back into your chair, letting your back be supported, hands just resting in your lap. Breathe slowly in through your nose, and out of your mouth as you relax.

How do you feel? Do you feel more grounded, more relaxed?

I hope these exercises are something you found helpful, and it's more tools to add to our "mindful" toolbox that we're building together. Whenever you need to go to that toolbox and pull out any skill we've learned in order to feel more grounded, safe, and connected, do it!! I have created a list of all of the techniques and exercises we've learned on my website invisiblewoundshealingfromtrauma.com and will add to it as we go along. I'm also going to begin demonstrating all of the skills, and techniques, and adding related content on my YouTube Channel Invisible Wounds: Healing from Trauma!

Thank you so much for taking the time to listen today, and please keep on listening! Wherever you listen, please like, subscribe, favorite, and follow me! What you think really matters to me too, so comment on the show, what you think, whatever's on your mind. You can find me on Facebook at Invisible Wounds: Healing from Trauma, Twitter at Kerriwalker58, and my websites invisiblewoundshealingfromtrauma.com and enddvnow,com

Look for my new episodes dropping every Monday on all of your favorite podcast and listening apps!

Please take extra good care of yourself, and we'll talk soon!

Hey there, it's Kerri! Thank you so much for joining me on this latest episode of Invisible Wounds Healing from Trauma. This is episode 6 Early Childhood Trauma Ages 1 to 6. I'm so glad that we're walking the path towards healing together!

So just a quick reminder, I'm not a clinician, counselor, or physician. I'm a Certified Trauma Support Specialist with lots of lived experience with trauma. The information presented in this podcast is for educational purposes only and not meant to replace treatment by a doctor or any other licensed professional.

Also, as we talk about childhood traumatic experiences, this is NOT me giving parenting advice! I made a TON of mistakes as a parent, we all do, whether we have a trauma history or not! I'm taking information from published studies and readily available from reliable sources, like the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and others. I will also relate my personal experiences, what's made sense to me and helped me, in the hopes of connecting my thoughts and feelings to something you may have gone through. As we go through this topic, it could get a bit triggering. If it does, stop listening, take a break and do some mindful belly breathing, or any of the other exercises we've learned, and come back when you're ready.

Alright let's dive in!

So, in episode 5, we talked about how trauma can affect us before we're born, and as brand-new little people! In this episode, we're going to look at how trauma can affect us between the ages of 1 to 6 years old.

A few months ago, I discovered Ancestry in a big way! I'd been on it before, but for some reason, I became obsessed with it. I found a ton of old family photos and began scanning them and adding them to our family tree. I spent weeks gathering and adding information from things I had, along with reaching out to old family connections and friends of my parents for stories, pictures, any bit of information I could get! Then, one day, I just stopped. I looked through some pictures of me with my parents as a newborn. I was being held by my parents, with them looking happy together, and smiling lovingly at me. I REALLY looked at those pictures, and I began to wonder just what they'd do, or how they'd react, if they knew the hell that was waiting for them over the next 27 years of our lives. That only ended when my mother died. I wanted to somehow magically reach into those pictures, wave my "magic" wand and fix all of the trauma, fix my parents, and change the direction of all of our lives….does any of this sound or feel familiar? I'm sure for many of you it can. What would we all fix or change with that "magic" wand? Suffice to say, I haven't been able to get back onto Ancestry since that day, maybe at some point I will, but not for a while at least!

So just a few statistics, it is estimated that 46% of children experience trauma at some point in their younger years. As many as 15% of girls, and 6% of boys will develop post-traumatic stress after a traumatic or many traumatic events. In my opinion, those numbers should be much higher!

My very first memory was from when I was about 2- 3 years old. I remember my dad keeping me away from my mother. My mother was chronically ill, as I mentioned in my first episode. She was always sick, either in bed, or in the hospital. Starting really early, our relationship was completely enmeshed. I took care of her, she needed me. She told me I was the only reason she was still alive and that became my full-time job. Being separated from her terrified me! So, when my dad would keep me from going into their bedroom, so I didn't disturb her, I lost it! I can remember hearing her saying "It's okay, let her come in" and my dad restrained me and wouldn't let me go. I would throw awful "tantrums" out of the fear I felt. I screamed, cried, struggled to break free from my dad's grip. Once I started, I couldn't stop or calm down. Children don't know how to do this on their own. They have to have a supportive person in their lives in order to work with them to help them soothe or calm down. I didn't have that. My Dad's solution to get me to "calm" down, was to throw me, fully clothed, into an icy cold shower. Being so little, I remember how terrifying that was for me. I don't know if I developed my deep fear of having water poured on my head before this, or because of this, but for years when I was little, that fear of water on my head lead to my poor mother having to "painstakingly" and carefully washing my hair in the kitchen sink. It was just so scary for me; it took me years to get past that terror. It was so ingrained in me that I remember it so clearly even now at 58! This was only the beginning of my trauma history.

When young children are exposed to scary, distressing, disturbing, confusing, unpredictable, and other kinds of traumatic events, either with or from their caregivers, or environment, it can have a very profound effect on them across their lifespan. Anything that they feel is a "threat" to their immediate safety in body, mind, or environment can be traumatic. They can also be affected by witnessing a traumatic event involving a loved one. Young children are like little "sponges" and absorb everything through what their senses tell them. Small children's brains are still developing, and they don't have life experiences or skills built in order to process and deal with things they don't understand. Small children can't understand the relationship between "cause and affect" (this is the understanding that one event leads to another) and they haven't developed problem solving skills. So, their fears, wishes, and what they think about them in their minds, become very real to them, and have a kind of power. They think that their thoughts, feelings, and emotions can turn into "real" things and situations. Young children have no idea how to keep themselves safe. Small children will often create extreme situations in their minds. For example, underneath all of my fear at being separated from my mother was that she would "go away" for good, if I couldn't see her, then I'd be left alone with my dad, who I was terrified of.

Small children also will feel that it's "up to them" to keep traumatic things from happening. They blame themselves along with their caregivers for not being able to keep them safe. I spent so much of my life when I was little (ok, throughout my whole life if I'm being honest!) being so angry at my parents for not "protecting" me, or making me feel safe, or not being able to change the outcome of things. I also felt that I was responsible for keeping my mom safe. Even when I was really small, very often during their nightly fights, I'd lay there listening to it and if I felt my mom was "in danger" I'd run out and get in the middle of it. This kind of confused thinking around reality, just makes the impacts of trauma worse.

Small children, as we've talked about, their brains are still developing. According to the Centers for Disease Control, the first 8 years of a child's brain development are crucial in beginning to lay a healthy foundation for future learning, health, and success in life! When they experience traumas, it can make physical changes to their brains. Early childhood trauma has been associated with creating a "smaller" area of the brain called the "pre-frontal cortex." I've described this before as the "thinking" brain. This part of the brain is responsible for things like language, memory, attention, perception, problem solving, and other very important functions. A smaller thinking brain can lead to issues with IQ, the ability to regulate emotions, slowed language and learning development, among many other things.

For me, this led to my being terrified of EVERYTHING as a small child. I NEVER felt safe. I couldn't trust the adults in my life to protect me. I was terrified of going to sleep (I was afraid I'd stop breathing) afraid of waking up, and everything in between. I had a really short attention span, threw tantrums, and had a very hard time learning. When I started school, I couldn't focus, concentrate, or pay attention. I was always afraid of what was "coming" next! I was in that hypervigilant "fight, flight or freeze" mode constantly. I was living in survival mode, which is pretty much the way I've lived my life!

Small children don't have the skills to put their thoughts, feelings, experiences, and emotions into words. For small children who've had traumatic experiences they might act and behave in ways that their caregivers may not understand. They can be fearful, clingy, afraid of anything new. They can become impulsive, aggressive, have nightmares, and have difficulty sleeping. They may lose skills they've gained or go "backwards" in regard to learning and development. They might act younger than they are (think of a child going backward or regressing and starting to suck their thumb), or they might seem detached and not responsive, numb. They feel helpless, out of control, and overwhelmed by their own reactions, and the reactions of others. They may physically get sick, have upset or sick stomachs, have headaches, throw up, or physically shake. The constant stress can weaken their immune systems and lower resistance to things like colds, infections, flu, and viruses. I was ALWAYS sick as a child!

Adults will sometimes say things about children, for example "they're little, they won't remember this" or "kids don't pay attention to stuff, they didn't hear/see/listen to us!" Not always true! Children are VERY aware of what goes on around them, particularly if there is disruptive, disturbing, distressing, violent, or threatening behaviors and actions going on with their caregivers or in their environment. I listened very carefully to my parent's arguments, would creep out of bed, hide behind a corner, or at the top of the stairs to hear what was going on so I could be ready for whatever was going to happen!

For me as a little child, my mother's illnesses, frequent hospitalizations, both of my parent's drinking and their mental health issues, frequent moves, their fights, their neglect of me, and other problems, led me to "parentifying" behaviors. I parented my mom, and at times my dad. I felt that being a little adult, taking care of my mom, cleaning the house, acting, and speaking like a grown up, gave me a little control over my extremely chaotic life. For example, from a very early age, I could hear from downstairs, the sound of my mother fainting and falling to the floor in their upstairs bedroom. There was a certain noise, a thud, I could identify. I'd rush up the stairs, grab the "smelling salts" which was a little glass tube containing very strong-smelling mix of ammonia and other things, crush it and place it under her nose to try and bring her around. Then I'd grab a washcloth, get it damp, and dab it on her forehead and face to comfort her. I didn't panic, I knew what to do. Remember, I was only 3 maybe 4 at this time! I'm sure that at least some of you can relate to this kind of "grown up" behavior. How many of you had to "parent" your parents, or caregivers?

Although learning at school felt almost impossible, I learned to read very early. Sesame Street thank you very much!! I learned by absorbing a lot on my own. I escaped into books and music. I had an old radio in my room that played the hits of the day constantly. The Beatles, Motown, pop hits of the 60's and later, the 70's, I loved it all. I learned the words to both books and music by heart. I could recite them in my mind. Repetitive favorite things became "comforting to me. I read my favorite books over and over again: there was safety and stability in that "familiarness" which I didn't have in "real" life.

I also retreated into a "fantasy" world. I made up all sorts of different scenes in my mind that constantly played, like a tape loop. They all ended up with me confronting my parents then they'd stop their behaviors, listen to me, and become the "magical" kind of parents that I wanted and needed. Magical thinking using that magic wand we all wished we'd had!

My behaviors baffled my parents and teachers alike, they never "got" it. Years later when I was in my 30's, I gathered up my courage and talked to my dad once about why I behaved the way I did when I was little. He told me that "I was a very difficult child to love." We never discussed it again… I'll go into this in more detail in a later episode when we'll talk about our almost desperate need to get answers around WHY the people in our lives abused us. That's a big topic!

Deep breath!

For those of us with childhood trauma, the really good news is that we can learn, gain knowledge about, and understand how trauma has affected us. And when we recognize how it might still be showing up in our lives, we learn and use new coping skills, techniques, and tools to help us heal. We can't change what happened to us, or how it's affected us, but we can rewire our brains using these tools, practicing them, and taking things one tiny, baby step at a time..

This is where I like to close us out with an exercise of some kind, something we can add to that coping skills toolbox that we're building together. As always, you don't have to do this right now or at all if you don't want to, but you might just listen and tuck it away in your mind in case you ever need it!

This is a simple exercise from basic Yoga called "Child's Pose." It's good for releasing muscle tension in the back, neck, and shoulders. It's calming, grounding, and can reduce anxiety.

This can either be done on the floor, or you can modify it by doing it on your bed. Before getting on the floor, place a mat, towel, or blanket on the floor as a cushion.

Begin on all fours, supported by your hands and knees. Your hands should be directly beneath your shoulders, your knees should be directly beneath your hips. Your feet should be lined up behind your knees. Breath slowly in through your nose, belly pushing out as you inhale, for a count of five. Hold your breath for a count of one. Slowly exhale through your mouth for a count of 5, belly naturally moving in as you exhale.

Sit back onto your feet, keeping your feet and knees hip's width apart. The soles of your feet will be facing the sky.

Modification: If needed, you can widen the space between the knees and feet, opening it up a bit for more support.

Then gently lower your upper body forward belly resting against the top part of your upper thighs, resting your forehead on the floor/bed.

Modification: To relieve pressure on the forehead, place a towel or blanket to rest your forehead on.

Allow your arms to rest loosely by your sides, hands by your feet, with palms facing the sky.

Focus on your breathing, inhale slowly gently stretching your spine. Exhale, relaxing your shoulders.

If you are more comfortable, you can gently stretch your arms out forward, with the palms of your hands on the floor. This is relaxed and easy, no forcing or stretching is needed.

Modification: If you need more support, either on the floor or on the bed, you can place a pillow or two between the knees, extending out away from the body. Lower your torso down, turning your head to one side to rest on top of the pillow. Then tuck your hands comfortably under the pillow, your arms on each side relaxed.

This is a resting pose. You can stay this way for 30 seconds, or a few minutes, whatever you are comfortable with. Focus on your breathing, slowly in through your nose, and out through your mouth, releasing any tension that you feel. Gently notice the contact of your body, arms, forehead, and hands on the floor or on the bed. Feel yourself "sink" into the floor or the bed.

When you are ready, gently move your arms in towards your body. Your arms from your elbows to your palms should be flat on the floor/bed.

Gently use your forearms to help support, lift, and raise your upper body back to a sitting position, sitting on your feet. Supportively move to a standing position or move your legs over the side of the bed to sit or stand as you want to.

How do you feel? Do you feel calmer, or more balanced and relaxed?

I hope this exercise is something you found helpful, and it's another tool to add to our "mindful" toolbox that we're building together. Whenever you need to go to that toolbox and pull out any skill we've learned in order to feel more grounded, safe, and connected. I have created a list of all of the techniques and exercises we've learned on my website invisiblewoundshealingfromtrauma.com and will add to it as we go along. If you want to, you can copy the information and paste it into a word document to keep on your computer as a handy reference guide!

Thank you so much for taking the time to listen today, and please keep on listening! Wherever you listen, please like, subscribe, favorite, and follow me! What you think really matters to me too, so comment on the show, what you think, whatever's on your mind. You can find me on Facebook at Invisible Wounds: Healing from Trauma, Twitter at Kerriwalker58, and my websites invisiblewoundshealingfromtrauma.com and enddvnow,com

Look for my new episodes dropping every Monday on all of your favorite podcast and listening apps!

Please take extra good care of yourself, and we'll talk soon!

Hey there, it's Kerri! Thank you so much for joining me on this latest episode of Invisible Wounds Healing from Trauma. This is episode 5 Early Childhood Trauma. I'm so glad that we're walking the path towards healing together!

So just a quick reminder, I'm not a clinician, counselor, or physician. I'm a Certified Trauma Support Specialist with lots of lived experience with trauma, so let's dive in!

We're going to spend quite a bit of time with this subject, because there is a LOT of ground to cover. Childhood trauma affects us on so many different levels. As we move through this subject, if at any time you feel triggered, please stop listening, do some deep breathing exercises or other relaxation techniques, and come back when your ready!

This also not me giving parenting advice! I made a TON of mistakes as a parent, we all do, whether we have a trauma history or not! I'm taking information from published studies and methods available from reliable sources, like the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and others. I will also relate my personal experiences, what's made sense to me and helped me, in the hopes of connecting my thoughts and feelings to something you may have gone through.

I mentioned in a previous episode about how stress can begin to affect us even before we're born! A pregnant mother who experiences repeated toxic stress has Nor-Adrenaline, Adrenaline, and Cortisol running through her system. These chemicals naturally produced by the body in response to that "fight, flight or freeze" mode we feel, can pass through the placenta, to the brain and body of the developing baby. One study has shown that mothers exposed to higher anxiety levels were more likely to have babies with weaker connections in the brain having to do with higher functioning and cognitive abilities. This might affect the way a child learns, thinks, problem solves, organizes things, memory, speech, and language. This can lead to developmental and physical health issues across the child's lifespan. Overly stressed mothers may be more likely to have lower birthweight babies too. So, in certain situations, we may be at a bit of a disadvantage before we even enter the world.

Babies are born as little balls of need! Unlike other animals who can stand, move, even run shortly after birth, we human animals are helpless! We're born before our brains are fully developed, we can't see well, or do much of anything other than our basic human functions. Babies eat, sleep…and cry..A LOT!! Crying is the only way they have of letting their caregivers know that they have a need that has to be met. They're hungry, tired, need to be changed, or startled, the list goes on! I know that when my children were babies, that had certain "kinds" of crying that I learned to identify. There was the general "I'm kinda unhappy" cry, more fussy. Then there was the "I'm getting more worked up" cry which was a bit more intense. Then there was the "four alarm fire" cry which sent alarm bells up my spine to my brain and propelled me as fast as I could go to their room! There is a kind of instinct that develops when we bond with our babies.

Bonding can begin before the baby is born. The baby, in the womb can hear the sound of their mother's and father's voices. Parents can feel the baby move, hear their baby's heartbeat during doctor's visits, and see them via ultrasound. This begins the bonding process. Then when the baby is born, new parents hold, cuddle, talk to, stroke, feed, and change them. A nursing mother, at hearing their babies cry, may leak breastmilk. All of these things help to create connections with our babies.

It's also natural at times, for it to take longer to bond with the baby. Having a brand-new little person that is completely dependent on you can be overwhelming! Babies SHOULD come with instruction manuals and warning labels, but they don't! Sometimes, it takes the action of caring for the baby, and over time bonding can happen.

Bonding is very important to the baby as well. When we feed, cuddle, talk to, respond, and care for them in warm and loving ways, it creates security. It also helps babies mentally and physically. When we interact lovingly with them, gaze into their eyes, touch and cuddle them, it releases hormones that help the baby's brain to grow. Then they begin to develop memory, thought and language. There is a metaphor or something that creates a kind of explanation that describes the interaction between caregivers and a child called "Serve and Return." This compares the interactions to a tennis match. Newborns will naturally begin to interact with their caregivers by using facial expressions, cooing, babbling, and body movement. This is the baby's "serve." When caregivers "return" the child's "serve" in a positive way, this creates a "rally." Think of the constant back and forth serve and return of a tennis match between players. When we consistently respond to them lovingly, they learn that their world is a safe place, and this begins to lay the foundation of their development and wellbeing throughout their childhood. In safety and security, they will learn, explore, and play as they grow. Babies also learn from what their senses "tell" them. Smells, what and who they see, what they hear, touch, and feel all help brain, body, and emotional development. Environment also factors into a babies' experience. A calm nurturing environment can lead to a more balanced brain, body, and nervous system, which leads to growth, exploration, and play.

But what happens to babies, specifically newborns, if that bonding, or attachment with their caregivers doesn't happen?

A lack of bonding or attachment can happen for many reasons. Newborns, just as all babies and children generally, are affected by their caregivers' stressors, moods, emotions, actions, and reactions. If a newborn is separated from a familiar caregiver, this can also have an impact on them. Environment also plays a part. If the environment is chaotic, unstable, or noisy, this will have an effect on them too.

If a caregiver especially has a history themselves of trauma and adversity, they may lack the understanding, ability, and emotional responses needed in order to form a bond with their baby. They may literally not know what to do, or how to respond. This is not a fault on the part of the caregiver! Remember, with our trauma histories, these are things that happened to us, we didn't choose them or how they affected us!

If a newborn faces distressing, scary, confusing, chaotic, and unstable events, caregivers, and environments, different things begin to happen with them. These things scare them naturally. They may begin to show signs of high levels of distress when separated from their primary caregivers. They may have a "frozen" gaze or a staring kind of look in their eyes. They don't look at you as most babies will mostly do. They may not react and respond to things in a normal way. They may not smile or make satisfying "cooing" noises. They might startle very easily. They might cry excessively, and no matter how hard their caregivers try to soothe them, they may not calm down.

Earlier, I talked about the "serve and return" example of interactions between a baby and their caregivers. What happens if the child's "serve" is not returned consistently, or at all? It interrupts things on many levels, particularly brain development. It can lead to delays in learning, speech, and emotional development. Without a change, or positive intervention, it can constant have impacts throughout the child's life. Chronic or toxic stress from events or the environment in babies' and children lives (just as with adults) is the constant activation and reactivation of that survival mode, that fight, flight, or freeze response. But in babies and children, what affects them the most is this state of hypervigilance without protective and supportive caregivers. Think of a car engine revving at a high level for a very long time! Babies need to feel safe, secure, loved, and supported, just like we all do! Negative things, events, people, and situations come up for all of us in life. In a healthy caregiver/baby relationship, if something bad, scary, or distressing happens and the baby is scared, startled, or upset, the caregiver goes to the baby, picks them up, and begins to try and sooth and comfort them. This could look like holding them close, making gentle soothing noises to them, and rocking them gently. With these consistent responses to the baby's distress, they learn safety and security. They learn that the caregivers in their lives can be trusted to care for them when their upset and will keep them from harm. This leads to a healthier development across the child's life. The absence of this kind of support and security not only affects brain growth and development, but it can lead to physical changes as well. It could mean a weakened immune system and can impact the cardiovascular system (which includes the heart and is the system responsible for delivering blood and oxygen throughout the body) which can snowball into other health impacts later in life.

Ok Kerri, so what's your point?? My point is to start at the very beginning of how trauma can affect us. If it can impact us even before we're born, and we continue to experience it in childhood and beyond, is it any wonder why we struggle so much? Why we have such a hard time with therapy, counseling, and medications? Why we have a hard time with relationships of all kinds? Why we struggle socially? Why we can't enjoy life, or feel happy? Why we have mental health, thinking, and physical issues? And why caring for ourselves particularly is so hard? We don't give ourselves enough credit for just doing what we can do on a daily basis! Some days, that might look like kicking butt and getting things done, other days it might look like not even getting out of bed, AND THAT'S OKAY!

This also isn't meant to take away from those who've experienced trauma at other points in their lives: Trauma is trauma no matter when it happens to us. My personal experiences just happen to start with childhood trauma from my very first memory that I can recall at 3 years old! There are so many of us that are aware that we've had traumatic childhoods, but I think there are many others struggling who may not even be aware of it! By starting at the beginning, and working our way forward, we can begin to lay the foundation of our understanding around our experiences. Think of the beginning of the building of a house. The first thing that gets built, is the foundation, the very bottom layer of the house. Picture in your mind a big, thick, grey, concrete slab. This is what supports every other piece of the house, every board, nail, wall, joint, up to the roof! That concrete slab is where we start, and as we learn and find new ways to add to and build on to our mental "house," we'll see it come together, piece by piece! But as I say, we take things one baby step at a time, hopefully forward, but at times, we'll take a step or two backward, and that's okay too. Gaining knowledge, and learning new things happens at our own pace, and in our own unique ways! However, it works for you is perfectly fine!

So, you know me, I like to close us out with an exercise of some kind, something we can add to that coping skills toolbox that we're building together. As always, you don't have to do this right now or at all if you don't want to, but you might just listen and tuck it away in your mind in case you ever need it!

As we've begun talking about our childhoods, let's try something that may be helpful in calming our nervous system. This is a Somatic Experiencing exercise, which helps you get back in touch with your body.

This can be done either sitting or standing. Get comfortable. Your body should be comfortably aligned, with your spine comfortably straight. We'll start with mindful belly breathing. Start with slow breaths in through your nose (your belly should push out when you inhale, not with your chest moving out) for a count of five. Hold your breath for a count of 1. Slowly exhale out of your mouth (your belly should move in as you exhale) for a count of five. Do this five times.

Notice any feelings or sensations in your body, lightly. Place either your left or right hand whatever feels right and place your hand on your forehead. Your hand should be relaxed against your forehead. You can apply some pressure if that feels right for you and notice the contact of your hand on your forehead, and the feeling of your forehead making contact with your hand. Breathe slowly as you do this.

Then, take your other hand, and place it on your collarbone, on your upper chest. Notice what that feels like, notice the feeling of your hand on your chest, and the feeling of your chest on your hand. Feel that contact. Notice the support of your own two hands. Continue slowly breathing as you notice these sensations.

Then when you're ready, take the hand that was on your forehead, and place it under the hand on your collarbone. Feel that contact. Breathe slowly. When you are ready, take the upper hand, and place it under the lower hand, this should feel like the area of your lower chest right before your belly starts. Continue slowly breathing. Then when you're ready, take the upper hand and move it under your lower hand, it should be on your belly. Notice your breathing and notice your belly moving as you breathe. Feel the rise and fall under your hands. Then when you're ready, take that upper hand and place it under your lower hand. Your hand should be on your lower belly. Continue slowly breathing, have a soft belly, feel the sensation of your belly moving under your hands. You can stay this way for a while, or you can remove your hands and focus on going back to your mindful belly breathing. Notice how you are feeling in your body and your mind. Are you more calm and centered? Is your body more relaxed?

I hope this exercise is something you found helpful, and it's another tool to add to our "mindful" toolbox that we're building together. Whenever you need to go to that toolbox and pull out anything you need to in order to feel more grounded, safe, and connected. I have created a list of all of the techniques and exercises we've learned on my website invisiblewoundshealingfromtrauma.com and will add to it as we go along. If you want to, you can copy the information and paste it into a word document to keep on your computer as a handy reference guide!

Thank you so much for taking the time to listen today, and please keep on listening! Wherever you listen, please like, subscribe, favorite, and follow me! What you think really matters to me too, so comment on the show, what you think, whatever's on your mind. You can find me on Facebook at Invisible Wounds: Healing from Trauma, Twitter at Kerriwalker58, and my websites invisiblewoundshealingfromtrauma.com and enddvnow,com

Look for my new episodes dropping every Monday on all of your favorite podcast and listening apps!

Please take extra good care of yourself, and we'll talk again soon!

Hey there, it's Kerri! Thank you so much for joining me on this latest episode of Invisible Wounds Healing from Trauma. This is episode 4, different types of stress. I'm so glad that we're walking the path towards healing together!

So just a quick reminder, I'm not a clinician, counselor, or physician. I'm a Certified Trauma Support Specialist with lots of lived experience with trauma, so let's dive in!

So, in thinking about what we've discussed so far, we've talked about what trauma is, and just how big of an impact it has on our entire brain/body systems. It's huge! I've also talked about "toxic stress" and adversity a lot. Connecting the dots logically, which can be challenging for me to do, I thought this next piece should be about different kinds of stress. Yes, there ARE different kinds! Stresses, their causes, and affects come from many different places.

Society throws us this idea, that we can be "stress free" if we just take a vacation, take some time off, remove ourselves from our daily "grind!" But does that really work? Do we just magically stop "thinking about" or "stressing" over things? Not really! There are always things going on in our minds, even on a beautiful beach in Hawaii, soaking up the ocean breezes. "Oops, look at the time! I've gotta get up, navigate my way back to the hotel, take the elevator all the way up to my floor, go to my room, shower to get all this sand off of me, get ready to go to dinner at 7:00 PM" … things like that!

Stress essentially is the way your body reacts to any threat or demand placed on it. When you experience a threat or have to deal with something, your brain prepares your body to respond by releasing hormones like adrenaline and cortisol throughout your system so you're "ready for action.".

There are 3 basic kinds of stress, and you'll see them listed by different names, but for us, we're going to define them as: Beneficial, Acute, and Toxic.

Beneficial?? Are you kidding? What kind of stress is beneficial?? Well, the kind that gets us off that sandy beach and to our hotel room to get ready for dinner!

Beneficial stress is the kind of stress that's woven into everyone's daily lives. Beneficial stress is motivating, it gets us moving towards being productive. If it didn't, we'd never get out of bed! That stress response kicks in, and we get things done! For example, we may be faced at work with responding to an urgent email from our boss that needs a bit of sensitive composing. The brain, with this kind of stress, kicks in, and we get a burst of adrenaline. It's stressful in the moment, but it's something we know that we have the capacity to handle and deal with. We have the skillset to be able to deal with it, so we think, compose, read over it, and once it's to our satisfaction, we send it! Later, our boss comes to our desk and lets us know that they appreciated the way we responded to the email, and job well done! We get a REWARD for how we dealt with the stressor! So, our brain, tucks that away for future reference! This translates stress into a reward! Another example might be studying for an exam for school. We might be taking classes we aren't particularly interested in, with material that isn't very interesting to us. But we study, go over the material, write our papers, whatever we need to do. Because the REWARD at the end of all of the studying and learning is getting good test scores. That translates into something we do want: whatever degree, certificate, or training is at the end of all of that hard work and stress! So, the stress in this way makes new connections in our brains which can boost attention, focus and memory! It can also be good for us physically. Say, you decide you want to exercise more. You commit time every day at 7 AM to exercise. You set your alarm clock a little earlier, get right out of bed (ugh, it takes a bit more effort!) and start your new morning routine! So that mild stressor, setting your alarm earlier, getting right out of bed, and putting your plan into action takes energy, focus and intention. You exercise, and that builds your physical and mental health! You get a rush of endorphins or "feel good" chemicals when you exercise. Again, you have that reward! Beneficial stress can also impact our mental health in other ways. With each stressor that we see, confront, and handle, it builds self-confidence, you feel stimulated, and it reinforces the fact that we can handle things as they come up.

On to Acute stress! Acute stress happens when we experience or perceive something stressful as with all types of stress. But It's an event that we feel is more threatening to us than the examples we discussed with Beneficial stress. Acute stressors happen off and on to us, they are events that occur, usually not daily. Some examples of an acute stressor might be: getting cut off in traffic, being involved in an argument, being criticized, or feeling like we're being judged. An acute stressor kicks in that "fight, flight, or freeze" response (remember, we're ready to either fight back, run away, or freeze in place until the threat is over!). This is when the brain is in survival mode, the brain and body send all of its energy on to our basic survival functions. That "thinking" part of our brain shuts down. Our sympathetic nervous system takes over. Our breathing gets faster, our heart rate and blood pressure go up, our body gets tense, our body and brain are throwing up its protections, they are designed to help us succeed and survive! So for example, your driving on a busy highway and suddenly someone swerves right in front of you in your lane. You instantly without conscious thought, feel that instant panic and you may hit the brakes, or you may correct (like pulling into another lane) in order to avoid hitting them. You might have held your breath, felt your heart thump or thud in your chest, or had your whole-body tense up. You might even yell out loud to the other driver, or to yourself! (I do this a lot!) Once you've taken action and have successfully avoided having an accident, you might take a deep breath, and refocus your attention to driving. Your brain and body then begin to recognize that this immediate threat is over. The brain begins to turn off that "fight, flight or freeze" mode. The brain starts to send signals and energy back to other parts of our systems. Our "thinking" brain comes back online, our sympathetic nervous system stops being "in charge" and we get back to being balanced. So acute stress is an event or stressor, the body/brain goes into alert and activation, then the threat is dealt with, and the body and brain deactivate, then they go back to balance! It's uncomfortable, but its tolerable!

But what happens if that "fight, flight or freeze" never shuts off??

That leads us in to really looking at toxic stress, just that phrase can feel kind of scary can't it?

This kind of stress happens over time. Stressful events can come from anywhere. Remember, what we view as stressful is VERY personal and is shaped by our learning histories, environments, and how we "see" or "view" things. We could be in an abusive relationship, experience the death of a person close to us, or someone we know. We could experience, either through ourselves or with another, serious illness. We could be involved in an accident. We could lose a job, then can't pay our bills. That may mean we can't afford housing, or food. We may live in a place where we don't feel safe. Anything that makes us scared, afraid, or overwhelmed. Remember, stress is an OVERWHELMING demand placed on the brain and body systems. Things just keep happening! Ever have that feeling like you "just can't take one more thing?" Me too! When we have many different kinds of stressful, scary, or awful things happen to us, over time, our brain and body are often activated and reactivated in that "fight, flight, or freeze mode." With continued stresses after a while, that "high alert system" just doesn't shut off. Our brain floods our nervous systems and bodies with those chemicals we've talked about, like adrenaline and cortisol. Our brain and body are designed to help us survive, so if they think they're under constant threat, there always "amped" up ready for danger! This can happen long after any event is over. Think of a light switch, that connects to a lightbulb. if someone doesn't turn off the switch, that bulb stays on. Eventually, that light bulb, burns out, right? While our brains don't actually completely "burn out" some things in our brains, might short circuit in a way, or may not work as well when dealing with toxic stress! It's bad enough when this kind of repeated toxic stress happens to adults, but when it happens in childhood, it can have lifelong affects! We will really get into this beginning with the next episode, there's a LOT to talk about with this subject!

So, when we're on "high alert" for long periods of time, different things can begin to happen to us physically that we may notice. We might feel exhausted, or not sleep. We may get headaches; our muscles can ache too. We might feel like we can't "sit still" or we may feel like we can't move at all, we can physically feel "weighed down" like we're walking through heavy mud. We might have stomach and other digestion issues. I can really relate to this; I developed my first ulcer at 16! We might develop high blood pressure, or high blood sugar (diabetes). We can have changes in our weight, loose it or gain it.

Toxic stress definitely takes its toll on us mentally and emotionally too. We may feel that everything is "too much" to handle and feel overwhelmed. We might swing quickly back and forth between one mood or another. We might get "snappy" and angry or have angry "outbursts" even yell and scream. Or we might feel really sad, be overly sensitive, and cry for any reason. We might feel anxiety, fear, and can have panic attacks. We might do things that are out of the ordinary for us, be "impulsive" which can look like acting first without thinking, or maybe excessive shopping (even knowing we don't have the money in the bank to pay for things). We might abuse drugs, or alcohol, even sex. We may not be able to focus or concentrate or we may have trouble remembering things. Or we might feel nothing at all, we feel numb, disconnected, not "there" or not present. We may do things and not remember doing them. I'll give you an example of that! I've had many times where I've driven, say to work, parked my car and realized that I had NO IDEA HOW I'D GOTTEN THERE! I didn't remember anything about the drive! Not the traffic, the turns I took, stopping at signs or lights, NOTHING! Have you ever experienced anything like this? I bet lots of you have! That's pretty scary when that realization comes to you! That is disassociation, not being connected to or rooted in the present moment. Now when I drive, I actually wear a rubber band on my left wrist. When I feel I need to "wake up" I gently snap the rubber band, and that feeling will bring me into the moment! Disassociation is a very "hard" event to deal with mentally and physically. It can lead to things like self-harm behavior which might look like "self-cutting" or other ways you might physically injure yourself to try and bring you back to the present moment by feeling pain. I'll admit, I've been a cutter in the past. You also may not remember parts of your life! Your brain, in an effort to protect you from traumatic memories, will intentionally bury or block things so you don't feel the mental and emotional pain. I've mentioned before that I had a lot of "ah ha" moments in my 30's. This was triggered by my mother's death. During my deep grieving process, memories that I'd buried came rushing up in bits and pieces. It was like someone flipped on a switch, and it was awful. I began to understand at that point, just how damaged I really was, and just how much had happened to me. That was the beginning of my very long journey that I'm still on at 58! I think I'll always be a "work in progress." The fact that we're on this journey together now, learning, building skills, and growing with those small baby steps I'm always talking about, is amazing! I love learning about trauma-informed care, which at its core is "what happened TO you" as opposed to "what's wrong with you!" It's so very important that we remind ourselves that what happened to us WAS NOT OUR FAULT! Our brains lie to us, and we feel guilt, shame, and blame ourselves for things. We also believe what others in our lives tell us- "it wasn't that bad" or "stop making such a big deal about it" or even "that didn't happen, you're making that up." I want you to really understand that your history, experiences, and how they affected you are real, they are VALID! You get to own your experiences, feelings, and everything else that comes along with it! And it feels really, really, crappy to say the least!

I also want to remind you of YOUR SAFETY. As trauma survivors, we want to be seen, heard, and understood. So along with that experience of "ownership" we might want the people around us to understand how we feel. This is absolutely right, and important, but only with safe and supportive people! If you are in an abusive relationship, it most likely isn't safe for you to express your thoughts and emotions to someone who is hurting you in any way. You know the truth in your mind, remind yourself of that! If you need help getting to safety, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline 24 hours a day at 1-800- 799-7233 for resources. You can also reach out to me at [email protected], Facebook or my websites! I'll do whatever I can to help get you to safety, or just listen!

So I like to close with an exercise that we can add to our "toolbox" that we're building together. As always, you don't have to do it right now, if you don't want to, but it might be helpful just to listen and tuck it away in your mind in case you need it.

This exercise is called "shake it off" and is a Somatic Experiencing exercise. Somatic Experiencing techniques are used to get you back in touch with your body. Dr. Peter Levine is the creator of SE, and there are great YouTube videos of him explaining and demonstrating different theories on trauma and techniques to help you "reconnect."

1. Find a space where you feel comfortable and safe for shaking.

2. You can do this by either lying on the floor or standing up.

3. Let the energy move through your body as you shake your legs and feet.

4. Shake the energy off by shaking your arms and hands.

5. It might be helpful to imagine that you are shaking off the sand from your body after going

to the beach.

6. Explore any other movements that might feel good for your body.

7. Come back to a resting position, sitting, or lying down.

8. Breathe slowly in through your nose with your belly pushing out, to a count of five.

9.Hold your breath for a count of 1

10. Slowly exhale out of your mouth, your belly should move in as you breath out, for a count of five

Do this 5 times. When your finished, notice how you feel. How do you feel in your body? Are you calmer, feeling a bit more peaceful?

I hope this exercise has been helpful for you in some way. We've added another tool to our toolbox, so remember to go to that toolbox and pull out whatever you need in order to feel less anxious and supported.

Remember, if you are in a mental health crisis in the United States, you can dial 988 to get resources, support, or someone to just listen to you.

Thank you so much for listening today, and please KEEP listening! Wherever you listen, please subscribe, favorite and rate me, comment, and download my episodes. Please let me know how you like the show, your thoughts, comments, anything that's on your mind. Your opinion really matters to me! You can find me on Facebook at Invisible Wounds: Healing from Trauma, on Twitter at Kerriwalker58, and at my websites invisiblewoundshealingfromtrauma.com and enddvnow.com

Look for my new episodes dropping every Monday on all your favorite podcast apps and platforms!

Please take extra good care of yourself, and we'll talk soon!

Hey, it's Kerri! I'm so glad you've joined me on this latest episode of Invisible Wounds: Healing from Trauma!

Just a quick reminder that I'm not a clinician, counselor, or physician. I'm a certified trauma support specialist with lots of lived experience with trauma! So, let's get to it!

In episode 2 what is trauma, I talked a bit about the brain/body connection and how what impacts one, impacts the other. I wanted to go a little deeper into this piece because it's so important that we understand just what trauma does to our entire system. In taking courses on trauma and trauma-informed care- I'm currently taking courses to become a Trauma and Resiliency life Coach- my eyes have been opened WIDE! It just makes so much sense in how it makes us feel, react, respond, and behave throughout our lives!

So, the brain sorts its own priorities in order of importance biologically. The first priority is SAFETY! The brain is primed to help us survive. Any real or perceived threat kicks this part of the brain into high gear!

The next priority is avoidance of pain. This function of the brain will create all kinds of emotions, reactions, and behaviors to avoid any kind of pain be it emotional, physical, mental, or relational (which is how we connect to others).

The next priority is to conserve energy. This part of the brain is our "auto-pilot." It creates patterns or habits that are automatic, without putting much energy towards thinking.

The last one is pleasure and gain. This part of the brain is based on wants and desires, what feels good. This takes intentional growth and learning along with repeated practice to activate.

So, our behaviors, emotions, and thinking are driven by hormonal and biochemical (chemical reactions that happen in living things) activity in our brain and nervous system. These are chemicals we have in our systems:

Dopamine: This gives us motivation, learning, pleasure, habits, goal seeking, and desires.

Oxytocin: This enables attachment, connection, trust, and promotes stable relationships.

Serotonin: This gives us feelings of self-worth, gives us a positive self-image, and enables enjoyment.

Endorphin: reduces pain and inflammation, calms anxiety, and it reduces isolation and loneliness.

So, what happens if we have less or more of these chemicals in our systems?

If we have less dopamine, it can lead to low self-esteem, no motivation, low energy, lack of focus and concentration, anxiousness, feeling hopeless, and mood swings.

If you have less oxytocin, you can feel lonely, stressed, disconnected from relationships, and can have insomnia.

If you have less serotonin, you can be overly sensitive, have panic attacks, you can have obsessive thoughts and actions.

If you have less endorphins, you can feel depressed, feel physical aches and pains more intensely, and can have inflammation in your brain/body/systems.

All of these behaviors and reactions are biologically correct responses to the lack of these chemicals in our systems!! We don't choose these behaviors, I mean, no one would, right?

Other chemicals that we have in our systems are nor-adrenaline. adrenaline, and cortisol.

If we have an INCREASE in these chemicals:

Nor-adrenaline, we can be really angry, feel hostile and agitated.

Adrenaline, we can feel increased fear, anxiety, want to run away, lack of focus, and be hyperactive (extremely active)

Cortisol, it reduces dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins. It reduces our ability to think, process, and think logically. It reduces our ability to stop behaviors and keeps us from forming memories in a logical way.

So, what this all means, is that when we experience repeated traumatic experiences, and our brain and nervous system are constantly on 'high alert" scanning for danger, even when danger isn't happening in the present moment, it causes these chemical imbalances that impact us in so many ways! It's not our fault, we aren't choosing these behaviors, our brain and body are reacting in the correct way!

So, when these different chemicals are out of balance, the body has to work, to try and bring them back into balance. You might be better able to function in about 20-30 minutes. But if you have a history of toxic stress and adversity, it will take much longer for the body to "metabolize" or process the chemicals. The short end might be 6-8 hours, or it could be as long as 30 hours!

There can also be changes in our brain as a result of repeated "toxic stress." The front part of our brain, the "thinking" part called the Pre-Frontal Cortex, shuts down. We have increased fear responses, and we don't have the ability to "reality check" which just means we can't think through things in a logical way. We have problems with memory, we can have a constant "doom loop" running through our minds. We may not be able to control our emotions, or we might feel emotionally "flat" or numb.

This affects the way we learn too. We can't prioritize or put things in a logical order of importance. We can see everything negatively; we can't focus or concentrate. We may miss "social cues" from others, which is our ability to observe other people's body language, attitude, tone of voice, and other non-verbal actions. New things and situations can feel overwhelming and very stressful because it can trigger feelings of a loss of control.

Think of all of the different pieces of your life that these things can affect! It impacts our relationships, our behaviors, how we respond to others and situations, how we learn, and how we function in our daily lives!

Our brain also creates a "tolerance" level in response to repeated stress, our environment, and experiences. It's a baseline, for what we can take or handle. If we go above or below that baseline level, we are out of our range or "window" of tolerance.

If we go above that window, this is "hyperarousal" we're "amped" up. This is when our sympathetic nervous system is running the show, we're in that "fight, flight, or freeze" or survival mode. When we're at this level, we can feel shaky, we emotionally overreact. We may have racing thoughts or be overly defensive. We can feel overwhelmed, unsafe, we can react impulsively to things.

There are many things that affect that window of tolerance. Our past learning history, the impact of a less than ideal environment, family dynamics, feeling out of control, we can even be impacted by stress BEFORE we're born! A pregnant mother who experiences daily stress has nor-adrenaline, adrenaline and cortisol running through her system. These pass through the placenta to the child. The child's body develops in a way that's influenced by these hormones! Genetics can also be a factor!

So, when we're pushed out of our range of tolerance, we develop or adapt reactive behaviors to deal with or to try gain control of a situation. These are "auto-pilot" behaviors (remember these are biologically correct behaviors because our nervous system is running the show!) that just happen, we don't really "choose" them.

Something, some situation comes up, we're "amped" up, our survival brain kicks in. In order to gain some control, we might get up and leave, or get angry, hostile, we can't focus, our brain can feel "foggy." We may feel that we need to be "perfect," we can over plan, over think, over prepare. We can't think logically, can't prioritize tasks, or follow through with them.

Another biologically correct behavior we can develop is called "mitigation." This means that we "create space" mentally between what our body is experiencing, and how we perceive or "see" it. It's a natural way that is biologically programmed into us when we're above that range of tolerance our brain creates.

In certain situations, like crowds, we'll put as much physical space as possible between us and other, or we may avoid crowds altogether. To avoid distressing thoughts, we might shut down our feelings, become numb, or we might daydream, or retreat into a "fantasy" world. To protect ourselves, we might obsess over our safety. We can over think, over plan, or have obsessive-compulsive behaviors. These are behaviors that are automatic, we can't control them. We might have an eating disorder, or constantly check and recheck things.

Somatic experiences or bodily experiences can feel like intense anxiety, tightening in the chest, rapid heartbeat, feeling sweaty, and shallow breathing. To mitigate or put distance between our body and our experience of these feelings, we might "disconnect" or disassociate from our body, so we don't feel these things.

Another mitigating behavior might have to do with "switching" or "substituting." We try and replace one feeling with another. We might replace grief with anger, or another emotion we feel we can handle better. This also might show up binge eating, substance use, shopping, or other behaviors to replace or distract us from distressing emotions.

When we have been raised in "damaging" or "adverse" environments, as adults, we can create adaptive, "action oriented" responses to situations. We can have "all or nothing" thinking, things are one way or another, there's no in-between. We might be overly critical or blaming. We might create abrupt limit setting ("That's it, I've had it, forget it). We might be dismissive or use ultimatums (Do it my way or else!).

The opposite of these action-oriented behaviors is passive or unassertive. This could feel like just "giving in" to a situation. We might feel frozen, stuck, trapped. We might feel numb, use things to distract ourselves. We may feel disconnected from our body and mind. We can be depressed and withdrawn.

Adverse life experiences condition us to react faster to anything we feel is a threat, often before we are even aware of it! The space between the threat and our response to it gets shorter. This may cause us to act before we think something through and weigh the consequences of our actions.

So physically, our brain makes connections (think road map with connecting streets!) based on our environments, senses, perceptions, history, genetics, and experiences. Our nervous system looks for certain things to create patterns or templates for our behaviors and responses. These are developed in:

Relational patterns: meaning an view of yourself and others

Emotional patterns: reduced pattern of emotional expressions as habits are created.

Cognitive patterns: not the CONTENT of the thought but how you think and view things.

Physical patterns: Tension, movement, posture, coordination, etc.

So, we build habits through the connections that our brain makes. The more we go to, or use certain responses, reactions, and behaviors, the connections in our brain that drive our responses, thicken, and become stronger. This means that the stronger the connection in our brain, the more likely we are to use those patterns or habits that we've built! Once that pattern is built, it happens without conscious thought or awareness, it's automatic. Even when we build new patterns, older patterns are still there and will come out in times of stress. It takes a HUGE amount of attention and focus to build new patterns and gets harder the more distracted or unfocused we are. Change is really hard because it requires specific intention and focus, and anything that distracts us interrupts that intention. With our histories of toxic stress and adversity, the brain is routed towards safety which drives our automatic responses.

We hear the word "triggers" but what is a "trigger?" A trigger is a strong emotional, behavioral, and physical response to something that reminds us of a past bad, traumatizing event. It could be a sound, a smell, an event, even certain people can "trigger" us! What can set us off is very personal, it's related to our experiences. Our brain starts that distress signal, and we're instantly in survival mode! We feel unsafe, and your brain and body throw up its defensive behaviors and reactions! We can also have "flashbacks" or relive and re-experience a traumatic event. We can feel like we're back there, at that time and moment. These are classic hallmarks of post-traumatic stress or complex post-traumatic stress, which many people associate with Veterans who've experienced war. But as we now know, traumatic experiences, histories, and environments can cause anyone to develop them. I know personally, as a child, through my teens, and in my abusive relationship, I felt like I was in my own personal "war," of course not in the way a soldier would experience it, but I fought, felt attacked, was attacked, lived in constant chaos, and felt that my safety, and even my life at times, literally, was in danger almost constantly. I still fight my own battle daily, to survive, to function, to just "be!"

All of these different imbalances, and biologically correct responses and behaviors can have long term effects on our lives. Our lives and environments can be chaotic and can lead to unstable impacts. We may not be able to hold down a job or have healthy relationships. We feel like we can't function, don't fit in, or have a sense of "belonging."

These are just some of the reasons why getting "past" our trauma is so very hard! When we hear things like "just get over it" or "just be more positive and it'll be fine" or "just think happy thoughts," "repeat this affirmation" we can feel like we're a failure. LET ME TELL YOU, IF IT WAS THAT EASY, no one would have issues! If we could do it, we would have done it! We've tried it, and it doesn't work!

So, the first big takeaway from all of this information is IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!! You didn't choose what happened to you or how it affected you. How you behave and respond is all biologically correct in response to your experiences, environment, genetics, and history!

The good news is that, even though you can't erase what happened to you, you can learn new ways to cope, respond, and process things in a way that will positively impact your behaviors and begin to build a bridge towards healing. It takes work, and practice: remember it takes intention and follow through to build a new habit and create new connections in our brains! But we start easy, with that baby step forward.

So last episode, I closed with a "purposeful" self-hugging exercise. As we've just talked about triggers, I'd like to do some grounding exercises with you, if that's okay. You don't have to do them now if you don't want to, but it might be helpful for you to listen and tuck them away in case you need them!

Mindful "belly" breathing is a good way to center yourself. Breathe slowly in through your nose to a count of 5. Your belly should push out as you inhale. Don't breathe with your chest moving out. Hold your breath for a count of 1, then slowly exhale out of your mouth to a count of 5. Your belly should move in when you exhale. Your chest should not fall as you breathe out. Do this five times. Listen to the sound of your breath as you slowly inhale and exhale.

Another grounding technique you can use is the 5-4-3-2-1 method:

Say either out loud or to yourself:

5 things you can see around you. It could be a picture, a color, anything you see. What color are they, what shape are they?

4 things you can feel. It could be the wind, the fabric of the clothes you are wearing, your skin, anything you can feel. Is it smooth or rough? Hard or soft?

3 things you can hear. What noises can you hear? Are they loud or soft? Are they familiar noises?

2 things that you can smell. What smells are around you? A cup of coffee or tea? Shampoo in your hair?

1 thing that you can taste. Take a drink of something, pop a mint in your mouth. If nothing is available, think of what your favorite taste is, imagine it.

Another quick grounding technique would be to put your hands in water, notice the temperature, feel yourself rubbing your hands together under the water.

I hope these exercises have been helpful in some way. Remember, they take memory and practice. Remember that you are building your own personal toolbox, and it contains the skills you are learning. So just like you'd go to a regular toolbox for a screwdriver, or a pair of pliers, go to your personal toolbox and pull out a skill, grounding technique, whatever you need!

Thank you so much for your time, and for listening. I'd love to hear from you! Find me on Facebook at Invisible Wounds: Healing from Trauma, or End DV Now. I'm on twitter @Kerriwalker 58, or my websites, enddvnow.com or invisiblewoundshealingfromtrauma.com

Keep listening and look for new episodes dropping every Monday on all your favorite podcast apps and platforms!

Take extra good care of yourself, and we'll talk soon!

Hey, it's Kerri! Thank you for joining me on this episode of Invisible Wounds: Healing From Trauma!

Just a quick reminder, that I'm not a clinician, counselor, or physician, I'm a Certified Trauma Support Specialist and also someone with lots of lived experience with trauma, so let's get to it!

So today, we're going to look at "defining" trauma, hopefully in a real and relatable way that connects with you, and maybe your experiences with it.

So, just what IS Trauma? Well, there are different ways to define it, describe it, and explain it. What really matters is explaining it in a way that's not too clinical, or full of "jargon" no one understands! In the mental health and physician's world, they use something called the DSM 5 or the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Health Disorders. This is the "go to" for labeling different listed mental health issues. You meet with a mental health professional or doctor and according to their interpretation of the symptoms you describe to them, they "diagnose" you with one, or more "disorders" referred to in the DSM 5. They prescribe a treatment and send you on your way! You come in with a broken arm, they put a cast on it and you're done. Patient, diagnosis, treatment, next! This can sometimes feel like a bit of a limited point of view, especially when looking at a person's mental health. This thinking may also try to define trauma as "one big bad event" when often, many people have much more than one big bad event. So, when dealing with all of the different things that can affect us mentally, emotionally, and physically, and every other way, how do you fit that into a "neat little box?!" You'll also hear some people describe trauma as "big T or little t." This theory says that a Big T trauma would be some huge traumatic event, such as the death or a loved one. A little t trauma might be the loss of a pet, or the breakup of a relationship. I don't agree with this description. Our experiences of any disturbing, stressful, threatening, or upsetting event and the importance we PERSONALLY place on that event, dictates how that event or "trauma" affects us. And it is VERY personal. I'll give you an example of something that happened to me. My childhood was full of trauma, if you listened to my first episode, you'll know! As a little kid, I was always afraid, so over time, I developed the thought process that everything was scary or overwhelming. I needed to be "perfect" which was my way of trying to have some control over my life. So, something seemingly small, like when I was little, say, someone would laugh at me, maybe for something I said. This was extremely traumatizing to me! I really had to work very hard just to try and fit in, that small bit of control that I thought I had! So, anything, even seemingly small things like that, can make little "ticks" in our brain. Visualize your brain, then visualize a checkmark in your brain, one for every event large or small that has had an effect on you. Got a lot of checkmarks on that visual? Yup, me too! So, I don't agree with classifying traumatic events as large or small: really, they ALL affect us in our own way, and add to the difficulties that we face! That's why it's important to try and find a professional who knows, uses and treats you with a Trauma Informed Care approach. This view takes into account your mind, body, environment, history, everything that involves you as an individual seeking help!

What trauma is really, is any event large or small, where you feel that your personal safety or life, is in immediate danger! It is an "overwhelming" demand placed on our entire system. When something happens to you, there are many things that contribute to your experience of it, and in how your brain and body respond to it. One interesting and VERY important point is that how we learn, and experience things has more to do with our environment and history, rather than having someone "tell" us something, which is typically how we think we learn things! Particularly as children, we're sponges, we soak up everything around us, our environment, what our senses tell us, our experiences, the people in it and the behavior they modeled for us, everything shapes how we not only see the world, but how we see OURSELVES and our place IN the world.

So, when we experience anything that we feel is threatening to us in any way, physically, our brain kicks things off!! It's preparing the body to react for "survival." So, bear with me here, the amygdala, or part of the brain that helps us control and process emotions, sends distress signals to the hypothalamus. This part of the brain communicates with the rest of the body by way of the autonomic nervous system. This system controls things like heart rate, breathing, and blood pressure. This autonomic nervous system is divided into 2 parts, the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system. So, when the brain sends the distress signal, the sympathetic nervous system is automatically activated through signals sent to the adrenal glands. These glands pump hormones, especially one more commonly known as adrenaline through the bloodstream. As the adrenaline floods our system, we feel physical changes. We breathe faster, we can feel our heartbeat speed up, we become more alert. Our brain and body are ready to respond to the threat.

This triggers something called "Fight, flight, or freeze" mode. What this means is that our body is ready to either fight back, run, or freeze in place, until our brain decides the threat is over. I'm a freezer! When something happens, I literally stop, I hold my breath, and I can feel my muscles tighten, my heartbeat is faster, and I feel this rush or flood sensation throughout my brain and body. It happens in an instant, I can describe it as feeling like my brain has "hijacked" my body! Have you ever experienced this feeling?

So, when our "sympathetic" nervous system, which is our ALERT and DANGER system, is running the show, it shuts down the front part of our brain the "thinking" part that helps us sort through things logically, organize, plan, and process. Our "survival" brain is activated and our body sends all of it's energy towards only our basic functions. Our brain is doing what it's supposed to do, protect us! Our brain and body are connected, what happens to one, happens to the other!

But when we experience many bad, distressing, upsetting, scary, "traumatizing" events in our lives, particularly when things happen to us in childhood, while our brains are still developing, that "fight, flight, or freeze" mode over time, may not shut off. Remember that our "thinking" brain shuts down. We can experience a constant state of "hypervigilance," which means your brain is constantly on alert, scanning for danger. When lots of bad things happen to us, we've "learned" that a threat to us can come at anytime, anywhere, and from anyone. This kind of repeated stress is called "Toxic stress" and if we have a history of toxic stress and adversity, it can have long term affects on both our brain and body. As children while our brains are still developing, experiencing this kind of constant stress changes the way our brains make "connections." Think of a road map, with all of the different connecting streets and highways. Our brains make connections like that called neural pathways. Under chronic or repeated stress however, the brain throws up "detours" and "roadblocks". It wires itself for survival. We'll really get into this much more in upcoming episodes! As time goes on, we can physically have issues with high blood pressure, heart issues, gut issues (that's me) high blood sugar, inflammation anywhere in the brain or body, autoimmune disorders, the list goes on! This can also be a reason why we get "panic attacks" even when nothing is happening, out of the clear blue..BAM!! There it is! Our nervous system, in constant overdrive is doing its job TOO WELL!! It's warning us of danger when danger doesn't actually exist in that moment!

So, if our thinking brain is shut down, and we are in survival mode only, what happens to our behavior? How are our reactions, emotions, and basic functions affected? We can have trouble, thinking, focusing, and concentrating. We can feel "foggy" in our brain, we may feel that our reactions are slower. We may not be able to get started on tasks, or if we do, we might not stay on task, or follow through. We might have trouble making decisions. We can lose the ability to be "flexible" in handling even the little things that come up in our day. When things do come up, we can "catastrophize" which can feel like our minds going to the worst possible outcome we can imagine, like the world will end! Change can be very hard. We get overwhelmed easily; things are "too much" to handle. We may have trouble sleeping, be chronically tired, feel anxious, depressed, hopeless. We might not enjoy things the way we once did. We also might not feel anything at all, we feel "numb." We can also experience something called "disassociation" which happens to me a lot! For me, it feels like I'm completely disconnected from my whole self, my body, brain, emotions, and the world. Nothing seems real, I feel like I'm having an "out of body" experience. We can have angry outbursts, fly off the handle. We can experience "all or nothing" thinking, meaning things are either one way or another, all good or all bad, either black or white, there are no shades of grey, no "in-between." When we feel these things, we often direct our thoughts inward, are angry with ourselves. We can feel we're stupid, not good enough, that somehow these things are a personal "fault" or "failure" on our part. The thought that something is inherently wrong or broken in us can be overwhelming. We constantly measure ourselves against what other people can do, their experiences, and what they can accomplish. That thought of "What they went through was worse than what I did, and they're fine" is common thinking! We wonder why we can't do the same things!

Does any of this sound familiar?

First, please practice not measuring your own personal traumatic experiences against anyone else's. Your experiences are your OWN, they are REAL, and VALID, and affected you in the way they did. It's your personal story. We also really never truly know what another person has been through or the work they may have done in order to be able to function, and to fit into however we see them as an example of "normal" behavior! What's NORMAL anyway? There is no "cookie cutter" to carve out an exact shape of "normal." Our views, environment, and experiences shape our vision of what that "perfect ideal" of normal is, so no one's idea of normal will be the same. Society gives us a kind of template of what it feels is "expected of us" as human beings, but normalized behavior is different for everyone!

When we learn and think about it, our brains and bodies when in survival mode, are reacting in a biologically correct way! Live or die! Flight or flight! These examples are all biologically correct responses and reactions according to our sympathetic nervous system running the show! Remember, when the sympathetic nervous system is in charge, we are in survival mode ONLY! The thinking brain is off! So how can we expect ourselves to feel, act, behave, respond, and FUNCTION in a way that we feel others that DON'T have our history of toxic stress and adversity do? We can't! It's not possible. But once we arm ourselves with knowledge about trauma, what it is and what it does, we can begin to make small changes, one baby step at a time! Understanding, and being compassionate with yourself is the first baby step! So, If you have a day where doing your best is 20 or 30 percent, then you've done your best at 20 or 30 percent: No one can do more than their best, it's not possible! Say that to yourself, "I'm doing the best that I can, I can't do more than that!" If your best is a day where you stay in bed, drink something comforting like a cup of warm soothing tea in your jammies binge watching a show, IT'S OKAY!! It really is! It's something that we felt we needed to do to care for ourselves which is VERY necessary!

So, think of one small, easy, thing you can do to care for yourself. Daily if possible. Something simple like drinking an 8 oz glass of water, taking some time to listen to your favorite kind of music. If you like to write, maybe think of just a short sentence, and come up with something kind you could say to yourself, or out loud. Use "I'm doing my best, and that's okay" if that's a good start for you!

So to close us out, I want to try a very simple exercise with you if that's okay. You don't have to do it if you don't want to, but it's something that helps me when I'm feeling stressed or anxious. So take your left hand and straighten it out, fingers extended. Cross your left arm over your chest, and place your hand, fingers extended, under your right arm pit. Relax your hand and fingers against your body and make sure the upper part of your right arm is against your left hand under it naturally. Your shoulders should be relaxed. Then cross your right arm over your left arm that is already across your chest and place your right hand on your upper left arm. This is a relaxed movement, so it should feel easy. You are giving yourself a purposeful hug. You can squeeze a little if that feels right to you. You can close your eyes while doing this if you choose to. You can take slow deep breathes in through your nose, then slowly exhale through your mouth if you'd like. You could breathe this way once, or you could do it five times if you'd like. You could also rub your right hand slowly over your left upper arm, feel the fabric of what you are wearing, or feel the skin of your arm it it's bare. You could also move your right hand naturally and place it over your heart if you'd like. You can feel it beating if that's comforting for you. The period of time, how often, and when you do this exercise is also completely up to you if you find it helpful. Also if you'd like, you could think of a word or a phrase to hold in your mind while you do this, maybe something kind, or meaningful to you. Maybe something kind, warm, loving, or reassuring that speaks your inner self, or inner child. Whatever feels right to you, do it! I hope this simple exercise helps in some way. It's a small tool to add to your personal "healing toolbox" that we'll begin to build together!

Thank you so much for listening! Your coming along on this journey with me, and your time, is so valuable and important to me. What you think matters to me too! Let me know your thoughts, comments, suggestions, whatever is on your mind! I've created a Facebook page for this podcast, so search for Invisible Wounds Healing From Trauma, like and follow me! I'm working on a website and a YouTube channel for this as well, so I'll announce them once they're up. You can also find me on Twitter at Kerriwalker 58 and my website enddvnow.com. If you are in a mental health crisis in the US, remember you can dial 988 to speak to someone for help, resources, or for someone to listen. Look for my new episodes dropping every Monday on your favorite streaming apps and platforms!

We'll talk soon!

End DV Now

Invisible Wounds: Healing From Trauma

Join me as I introduce myself, tell my story, and why I feel so strongly about the subject of trauma! We'll walk the path towards healing together!

https://enddvnow.com/