It's All My Fault

I had to cover a few things that got "omg'd" when my dead cat suddenly resurfaced.

Once again it turns out that telling when one's feline is forever no more is about the most challenging thing to do on this planet.

No wonder the Arcturians left pussy cats here as a galactic prank. They love to annoy humanoid life forms in the most creative ways.

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• Episode 41 of 53

What can you say about those little pussy cats other than they have the most dead-on cliche ever conceived... what with their nine lives and all that.

If you ever want to make me feel like a beyond-the-fringe-lunatic, this is the recording to play back to me while I'm plugged into the clockwork orange headset.

1. It will work.
2. I guarantee it.
3. I'd even bet one of my pussy cat Frankie's lives on it.
4. Expecting to win obviously...

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• Episode 40 of 53

When you tally this one up...

you'll have to include:

1. my mistaking Hegel for Foucault
2. failing to come up with Cynthia Irwin's name
   1. in real time
   2. while simultaneouly completely forgetting to mention Virginia Steen-McIntyre
3. my 3am tantrum
   1. of a completely pointless nature
4. and the overwhelming likelihood that the moon is artificial.

These are all addressed here... in one go.

• No @&#%!

Which means that finally, FINALLY, I may have created something listenable.

• I doubt it very much...
  • but there's a chance.
    • Which is way more than I ever said I'd deliver...

So... if you want to ABBA me, this would be where you might want to take a chance on me. Even though I still don't actually recommend it. This is as close as it gets. Who knows??? Maybe I am your dancing queen...

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• Episode 39 of 53

Tis the season for forgiveness and even moreso...

• for micro-dosing.

And eventually for MaCrO-dOsiNg...

• but let's not get ahead of ourselves.

I definitely get on with a bit of the micro for this one so I'm sure that means I'm going to need some of the afore mentioned forgiveness... oy vey!

• Channukah amirite?

Seriously - did I get the spelling even remotely close??? That's not an easy one to just pull out for a text gag like this and I don't want to look dismissive especially with what's going down in the middle east right now. This comment box has no spell checker so I have no idea if that spelling is in the neighborhood. I hate to just roll on this one but at least my fears have been laid bare for all to see... ahem... this holiday season.

Amen.

Go Team America.

And Happy Holidays to each and every last one of you.

Even you 1550.

A UNIQUE EXCEPTION...

• to the normal useless information compiled here immediately follows:

... and would you look at that?!? Going live in the 9th minute here as we begin to tick away the final 36 days of this tumultuous year... I can't say I didn't see it coming. Since all I've been doing lately is seeing it coming.

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• Episode 38 of 53

As useless descriptive blurbs go...

• this effort I'm putting forth
  • right here
• might take the cake in overall uselessness.

In fact, that cliche:

• "take the cake"
  • is so far
    • from anything this recording has to say
    • that I'm just going to stand on my mound of mediocrity
      • and hope the judges can appreciate
        • my lack of any listener enhancements whatsoever.

Scoreboard.

And.

Scene.

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• Episode 37 of 53

Oh Spotify how I fawn for thee...

...

If fawning can be expanded to include

1. crafting a new "Spotify.Specific
   1. or... Spotific???"
2. lengthed recording
   1. (5 minutes or less - HA - as if!!!!)
3. that somehow encapsulates
4. my distracted mission
5. of recording insignificance
6. and all intentions that preceded it...
   1. and therefore all intentions now forthcoming herein,
7. both as
8. and as not
9. expected.

Well here you go...

• in just a tick over 7 minutes...
• by far my most timely effort yet!!!

You're very welcome Spotify!

I'll even toss you a few more gratuitous exclamation points to celebrate the occasion!!!

• Tis' the season after all!!!!

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• Episode 36 of 53

Gettin stitchy with it?

1. Yeah u.gneau.mi...
   1. and the excessive boredom
   2. that comes with
   3. not wanting to be in on
   4. the holiday crazy train
   5. that is Thanksgiving weekend
2. with 2 inches of snow on the ground.

Given that's my game the entire rest of the year... if I am going to act CRAZY at this time of year, I have to elevate, rise to a whole new commitment regarding the concept of KrAZy.

1. ... a Kommitable Kommitment to Krazy
2. one might even claim!!!

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• Episode 35 of 53

Obviously the title implies there will be an obligation of note that comes to a grand total less than $3.50.

Otherwise it'd be equal to, or even greater than, the obligation already established by Parker and Stone in regards to the Loch Ness Monster - of precisely $3.50.

Of that we are forever indebted to the genius pair - thanks boys.

And of much, much, much more we will remain indebted to the greatest comedy duo of my lifetime.

• The Laurel & Hardy of the 21st
• (and a little bit of the 20th)
• century even!!!!!

Wtg you two - that's awesome.

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• Episode 34 of 53

Hey it's Thanksgiving again... so yeah - definitely a vegetarian's favorite holiday.

It seems like this holiday more than any other is set up to make people combative.

Call me crazy but I'm guessing

• about 50% of you agree with me
• while the other 50% want to kick my ass into some semblance of family camaraderie.
• Booyah!

Happy Thankgiving all!

PS - if you are reading this and have yet to download and/or listen to this you should:

1. Skip it entirely
2. Skip the first 29:35
3. Skip the first 19:01

You have been warned.

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• Episode 33 of 53

How long did you think it would take me to drill down the available conspiracy theories I've concocted to explain away my current-cross-life energy suckages?

• Turns out 10-17 days was the answer here so the smart money landed there -
  • in the 10-17 day futures bet.

Well hold on now... the smart money landed on "next day/last week" since that's the real story of what happened here...

• ... but why rehash old crapola
  • eh Canada?

I do apologize for the 49 seconds of time wasted thanks to the cat making an unwelcomed catmeo.

Yep... it was that unwelcomed.

Or should I say Frankie apologizes for that deflating moment of recorded nothingness, doing so from the 2nd bedroom where she's currently in isolated lockup allowing me the freedom and lack of distraction necessary to type a run-on sentence of this proportion - so much time have I to indulge that I have also chosen to indulge within that in fact she has now begun working the underneath gap between the floor and my 2nd bedroom/home office/cat prison door trying to break free.

My oh my!

Let's all take a breath and then... say it with me now:

"Boy oh boy do I ever loathe cats!"

... and ...

Nobody wastes 49 seconds of your time like me.

... and ...

my pussy kat.

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• Episode 32 of 53