It's All My Fault

In the version of english I use to attempt communication with others, the one that today is spoken in the nation currently labeled the United States of America in the spacetime moment that is the "year after the year" Love Was Left on the Cutting Room Floor - in that specific version of reality - I really think the collective nailed it on one word:

1. flaw(s)(ed)
2. and maybe one phrase: "run-on sentences".

I'll even go so far as to include FLAW as an example of onomatopoeia but completely understand if you feel less "buzz" in your assessment.

1. But,
2. You know me.

Pushing the boundaries of language possibilities to the point of blundering right through agreed upon structural norms is kind of my thing to do... right Ms. Palin?

Or is that Governor Palin? I get confused when people quit their civic duties what we call them subsequently.

1. SarSar?
2. CareBear?
3. Ex-Governor SarBear?
4. Tina Fey?

Flaws.

We all got 'em. Don't we?

1. Okay, maybe not Lara Logan.
2. But the rest of us...
3. ???

NëiNsensiCaL

• Episode 48 of 53

It's "Saturday Date Night" universe so should we pick up Thai or go out for Italian? Or did you want to grab something to cook together?

I'm sorry I didn't hear you... come again.

• You're what now? You have a what now?

You say you have a headache?

• Really... ? A headache?

That's almost believable given the insanity I'm putting myself through lately...

But come on universe - you don't even have a head.

• Do you?

NëiNsensiCaL

• Episode 47 of 53

My content delivery method can, correctly I might add, be criticized as long-winded and distracted.

• As well as desperately in need of an editor.

These are AMONG the many other criticisms that might legitimately be expressed of me, my presentation, my technical challenges and my general purpose communicating herein. I know any audience willing to engage with me - the unplugged, unfilitered, uncouth me - has to put up with more than their fair share of letting "me be me".

• I do ask a lot sometimes.
• I'm aware.

It's why I might even agree with the identified disappointment you're expressing.

• Even if I'm unlikely to do anything about it.

Many 21st century content sources would never put you through the insufferable experiences that I demand of you constantly.

• I do ask a lot sometimes.
• I'm aware.

In a way, this episode's topic d'jour attempts to address several of these potential criticisms that might be levied against me at some point. I even discuss why I'm open to admitting your critique's validity while simultaneously doing nothing about it.

• Nothing whatsoever?

Yeah. Mostly.

• I do ask a lot sometimes.
• I'm aware.

Unless explaining my actions in detail - the kind of detail that is longer than most movies - counts as doing something about it.

• I do ask a lot sometimes.
• I'm aware.

And do not think the "almost 2 hours of metalkytalkytime " is going to settle anything.

It is very much not going to do that.

NëiNsensiCaL

• Episode 45 of 53

I would qualify this recording as a "sidebar" effort, if such a category existed, in this project.

• And given that all parameters contained herein are totally mine to arbitrarily design, well...

- Welcome to the Sidebar Part of the Show -

• Where topic matter is more reactive than proactive... as sidebars are known to be!

If you enjoy yourself a USA Today in locations other than airports...

1. well this
2. may very well be
3. the episode
4. you have
5. been waiting for!

NëiNsensiCaL

• Episode 45 of 53

This one is the very definition of "all over the place".

And it ends in a flood of emotional distress... so there's that to look forward to.

I don't really know where to go with this addendum to an experience that is an hour of me in all of my exposed self thinking hard thoughts about the here and now.

• Is that your kind of thing?

Then sure. Give it a shot.

• Otherwise?

Pass.

Pass all the way babay!

NëiNsensiCaL

• Episode 44 of 53

Getting through my long overdue apologies to you, my listener, should have been enough for this episode on its own.

But like I'm prone to do, I pile on with 11 beliefs that stretch the imagination to a point I won't blame you for never listening again.

• Hold it against you, maybe...

But blame you?

Never!

NëiNsensiCaL

• Episode 43 of 53

It seems as if I'm still on amicable terms with YouTube©®™.

Shocking.

I agree.

• It's been 8.75 days since we got back together
• As I type this... 2.27.24 at 4:53 MST.
• after I panicked 2 years ago and ran
• knowing how much you'd changed
• and anything between us wasn't sustainable.

There's that.

You'd think those uploads from 2022 (allegedly) would have been enough for YouTube©®™ to hand me my walking papers...

Yet here I am.

• Still.

Well at least on this day... at this moment, if you're reading this.

• And in fact a human being.
• Not a bot.
• Because...
• once this one is heard by the AI overlords...
• well
• ...

Amirite YouTube©®™?

NëiNsensiCaL

• Episode 42 of 53

Hello YouTubeiverse.

©™®

As "reasons to never listen to me again... ever!!!" go...

• this recording might have just skyrocketed to number one on that list.

I have never felt the need to interject a message intentionally warning tender young ears to stay away from...

• the disturbing nature of my next thoughts.

...

!!!

???

At least I don't remember any such instance.

• Until now.

And you know as well as I do who is to blame here.

...

1. YouTube!!!
2. The tube of you.
3. No longer my tube.
4. Not even MySpace if you ask me!!!
5. !!!
6. You were asking weren't you???
7. ???
8. ...
9. ©©©
10. !?.

NëiNsensiCaL

• Episode 41 of 53

I believe getting lost is a fair assessment of the journey this one offers but the deep thoughts part - that part I'm not so sold on.

Not because I'm doing that thing where I'm underselling the depth of my existence to trigger reactions like "dude quit soliciting compliments that way - it's annoying".

Nope. At least not this time.

Instead, this is a long overdue reconciliation conversation between me and the Tube of You. As well as addressing some hooks that got sandier than I probably should have permitted.

But I wouldn't be me if I wasn't apologizing for the disconnects I unintentionally create and then intentionally exacerbate in an attempt to clarify our shared reality. Would I?

I never mean it personally.

Ever.

Well other than those hooks that got so sandy. That part is proving hard to let go of.

As clearly shown in the recording.

Okay maybe not shown, but...

• Demonstrated?
• Revealed?
• Heard?
• Documented as evidence to later be used against me?
• Voiced?
• Clearly audible?
• ...?

Okay you're right.

• Leave "shown" as is.

It was good enough already.

NëiNsensiCaL

• Episode 40 of 53

First, what if you were thrust into a circumstance that demanded of you a decision be made in the next 30 seconds that could never be undone.

• With that absurd reality engaged, the choice at hand is this:
• which, of the many options available currently, would you declare as the one and only fruit option that the simulation will be offering from now going forward until you perish.

Meaning there will be only one fruit now available, but it's up to you to decide which one... and you're to do so in the next 30 seconds. 29. 28.

• Would you be available in that moment to make the right choice?

What if #2 - pencils?

What if #3 - asks what, if any, moral obligations did you "acquire/sign up for" when you manifested here on 867-5309.Earth in that fetching meatsuit of yours?

That What If? #3 is a bit of a "Rick-pickle-of-a-What-If?" to chew on... I agree with you there.

Ergo the #2 pencils... amirite?

But take a bite out of this monkey's digit we must since I'm now all out of oranges.

NëiNsensiCaL

• Episode 39 of 53