It's All My Fault

This one includes... moments that I will have to stand by. As do they all.

This one also has some moments that I will choose to stand by. As do most.

Any "aspire to stand astride" moments to be had in this one you naturally inquire???

• Soooooo unlikely given my past data points that have assembled to create the very inquiry you're presenting in its current manifestation.
• With all that working as if it were meant to be...

I will simply let the future tell us all what it came here to reveal in the first place. Proceed as per the usual here...

• as it always does.

Now what, if any of that, does this recording get into?

• All of it.

At least I think so.

However, I'm feeling my carry-on baggage suddenly here... is that zipper unzipped?

Okay. How about this.

Most of it, arguably, is my final answer.

• An answer we hold the right to revise as necessary at any time in the future up to and including a full denial that this answer ever existed. All with no accountability whatsoever, etc... etc. etc.

cool?

NëiNsensiCaL

• Episode 38 of 53

As if from a dream, yesterday, combustible "pops-his-mouth-off-when-he-should't" John woke up to an issue with AT&T that led to an immediate divorce.

• Less than two hours of consicous time and
  • BAM!
  • No phone.
  • No internet.

No meaning as a white male American in the 21st century.

• BAM! BAM! BAM!

Thank you Sir!

May we never have another?

• BAM!

And then the day got interesting...

NëiNsensiCaL

• Episode 37 of 53

Does looking into the past prevent one from taking full advantage of the future that's right in front of them?

• As with most of life's ponderings, this one is a little column A and even more column B, but knowing which column is which takes the wisdom gained in pursuit of both.

With that much to sort out you'd think I'd have gotten around to the core argument I wanted to make when I started this recording... you'd think.

But nope.

• At least not really.

Mostly it's just me being me, getting nowhere specific until eventually winding it up as if we arrived right where I wanted to take you all along.

• So very much...
  • business as usual.

NëiNsensiCaL

• Episode 36 of 53

Two steps forward, one step back, one slip sideways before you trip on your ass... and then you turn yourself around to find out:

• "that's what it's all about"!

Doing the hokey-pokey is about as apt a metaphor for the life I've got going on lately as is anything else pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey-ish.

At least I'm no longer the pinata at a pinata party eh Juanito?

• Si. Si si si si mucho si senor.
  • Okay. I mean bueno.

Well there you are.

Like my bullet points, this one is a whole lot of trying to not slip and fall. Some of it worked out. Other parts... not so much. Whichever way you slice it, it's at a very minimum, the real me being as real as I know how to be.

NëiNsensiCaL

• Episode 35 of 53

Are you ready for some football?

Presuming, of course, that we're speaking in American 21st century cultural sport slang... the one where football is played with a prolate spheroid and pits steroid-fueled madmen against each other in a gladiator-like setting as drunken Las Vegas visitors morph into rabid observers salivating over the violent action as well as their jalapeno poppers who join living room parties throughout the homeland all tuned to CBS Sports' broadcast of SUPERBOWL 58.

On this day of unity, we become a nation filled with willing devotees who, at least for one day, dedicate their lives' purpose to the "unknown" outcome that eventually bounces out of that chaotic, silly, little prolate spheroid thing-a-ma-jig-ball-imposter and whether or not it matches the squares they purchased in their office gambling pool.

This spectacle, as it turns out, is what pins American culture together.

And superhero movies. And cheese.

• Otherwise we're talking about soccer amirite?

Hell yeah.

1. 'Muricuh. Phukc Yeah!

Ossaykan UC? By d'Don's Earl eLight?

• Bet on the Chiefs. to win outright.

Actually, check that...

• Do NOT bet ON sPortS.

However, the Chiefs are the lock of the century.

• As are disappointing commercials.

Which, unfortunately, is another sign of our creative dearth as a nation.

1. The Taco Bell commercial controversy will be tomorrow's most read news story.
2. Unless Ms. Swift (Kelce-Swift??? Swift-Kelce??? Hiddleston-Kelce-Swift-Mayer???) dodges the game entirely to, instead, jettison her way down to Lima, Peru for the sole purpose of determining whether or not they have limes.
   1. If that's what today invokes, well... that might just break the internet.
      1. Or at a minimum, provoke the Swifties into taking defensive posture #696 in her defense.

NëiNsensiCaL

• Episode 34 of 53

This recording was an arduous process to complete. An extra day was required just to sort out my take on all of it.

1. For now, this raw assessment will have to suffice.
2. Refined analyses will, hopefully, be forthcoming.
   1. As my clarity evolves around these issues...
      1. muddy messes they create and all.
         1. No promise on that future clarity... just to be clear about potential clarity.

In fact, I haven't even re-listened to this one yet. Not that I won't ever, but my brain needs to regroup first.

• In NO WAY am I trying to discourage you from participating in this arduous journey yourself.

Not even a little bit.

What 's discussed needs to be heard.

Everywhere.

• Across the nation, as it were.
• Around the world.
• Throughout the universe.

But especially by everybody 12 and up currently living on 867-5309 Earth.

1. Actually, check that.

With regards to women, NO age restrictions shall be applied.

1. EVERY female alive today
2. should hear
3. the first 29 minutes of this recording.

Even the newborns.

1. ESPECIALLY the newborns!
   1. And yes. I know what newborn means.

NëiNsensiCaL

• Episode 33 of 53

How are things going for you these days?

Befuddled by that question have I been for... something like 100 days. That gap harkens back to November 1st of last year.

1. Which feels about right.

I know this much: whatever lull of life I lollygagged my way into lately has come to an end.

1. No more wound licking.

There's too much to attend to around here to worry about the bruises life hands out with indiscriminate glee.

1. Not for me.
2. And not for thee.

Definitely not for thee.

NëiNsensiCaL

• Episode 32 of 53

So... whatcha up to? Wanna go to Ethiopia with me? We could dig up all the secrets to humanity's ancient mysteries while we're there...?

• Seriously.
• The cache of artifacts awaiting discovery in Ethiopia will certainly be hailed as the greatest leap forward in human understanding ever!

So you're in? Awesome. More diggers more discoveries I always say.

• Wate wut?
  • You're asking if we'll get phone coverage while there?
  • I can't say since I never even thought about it.
    • I very much doubt it given the region.

Oh!!! Really??? Now you don't think you want to go?

• Seriously???
• Answering the mysteries of the universe isn't enticing enough to give up Insta-Tok-Book?
  • Will anything other than death make you consider giving up your phone?
    • Of course.
    • Not.

NëiNsensiCaL

• Episode 31 of 53

I sometimes think

1. "how different my life would be" if I had been born female.
2. Then, I might even think
   1. how DRASTICALLY different my life would be if I had been born a minority female.
   2. Which could lead me to think
   3. how UNBELIEVABLY different my life would be if I had been born female and a minority and then discovered myself 2Be Condoleezza Rice.

Not so much the part about being black now instead of white.

Nor the bits flip from boy parts to girl parts (I might be lying here if boobs are involved).

Nor the sharp decline in cognitive abilities one would experience Becoming Condoleezza Rice.

Nope.

None of that.

The Being Condoleezza Rice shift I'm talking about is discovering what it's like when all your

1. embarrassing errors
2. moronic mistakes
3. crappy conclusions
4. dumbass directives
5. and frightening f'ck-ups
   1. (including all the "sh't hitting the fan" moments they generate)

lead to nothing but

1. promotions
2. and commendations
3. and award plaques
4. and medals
5. and dolla dolla bills yo
6. and keys to cities you've never been to
7. ... and possibly even
   1. adrenochrome goblets
   2. and admission into the illuminati
   3. and other stuff
   4. like that.

These are not the WMD you are looking for...

Move along now.

1. And go tell Dick to get in here pronto and clean up all this yellow-cake uranium the CIA delivered this morning.
   1. He may be the boss around here but I'm still the god-damned President of the USA and the oval office, MY office, is not a storeroom for Cheney's uranium shenanigans!

NëiNsensiCaL

• Episode 30 of 53

In this recording:

1. I crumble under the pressure of an imaginary red-wine-on-white-carpet-moment.
2. I eventually slather my way through a mispronunciation of splatter.
3. At some point I feel compelled to one-up my 15 year old virgin self.
4. After which, on full display my terrible basketball skills are.
5. And then it's all downhill.

If I were to bottom-line this recording in no more than 19 characters (including spaces) it might look something like this:

• Endurance 2B Tested

And those are just the listenable parts - the rest of it - omg. OMG!

NëiNsensiCaL

• Episode 29 of 53