It's Just Good Business!

In which our heroes grab a bottle, scoop up some delicious air and attempt to sell it to the populous as Dad pitches Air-in-a-Can. We discuss the complicated taste of nan’s house, the process of bottling air and try to capture actual lightning. Ryder worries about people becoming addicted, Jackson is happy that there's a new thing to go along with food and water and Dad just wants to lie to people about where their air comes from. So huff some Absent-Dad, mix Tropical-Beach with Thunderstorm and try to figure out how exactly one gets the air out of the bottle in the first place. Either way, that’s just good business!Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 you can help us set up air-mixology schools all over the country.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes buy a regular chocolate bar, smash it with a hammer, and attempt to sell it as Jackson pitches Crumblesnax. We wonder what part of the Mars Bar is trademarked, think of 101 potential uses, and imagine the inevitable Current Affair expose scandal. Dad doesn't think anyone could eat a whole candy bar in one go, Ryder gives Jackson some important information about manufacturing, and Jackson just wants everyone to suck it down! So replace all your food with a more expensive crushed up version of something you already eat but which is in no way better. Or don’t. Either way, that’s just good business!Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 you can help Jackson patent his very own Sram Bar.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes open the freezer, cool down their drinks, and preserve meat as they come up with a new way to sell ice. We discuss the struggling ice trade, try to avoid choking on shaped ice, and explore the etiquette of frozen statues. Ryder remembers a simpler time when ice was just ice, Dad makes his add campaign about fitness and Jackson just wants to sell his extreme ice to the teens, because that's where the money is. So head on down to your local service station, try to choose the perfect ice for you, and then realise, rightly so, that it's actually all just frozen water. New Ice, Ice Classic or Ice Xtreme, either way, that’s just good business.Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 you can help us pay for Tony Hawk’s appearance fees.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes refuse an education, ignore their teacher, and surreptitiously use their iPad in class as Ryder pitches: the iSneek. We discuss Ryders eventual legal battle with the board of education, talk product branding and wonder if interrupting a child’s learning is a crime. Dad isn't sure where he stands on the whole issue, Jackson tries to improve broccoli, and Ryder just grins and drives away in his Lamborghini. So give your sly old teacher the finger, pay a respectable $8 and refuse to ever learn again. Either way, that’s just good business.Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 you can help us ensure that Ryder has enough gas to fuel his Lambo.And don’t forget to help us work out where to go for our Australian tour! Head to https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/sanspantstour and your handsome faces might be seeing our handsome faces very soon!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes shed their mortal coil, wave goodbye to their loved ones, but also for some reason want to be buried with all their skin flakes and fingernails as Dad pitches: a lifetime of resin. We talk about how much resin you would conceivably need, the threat of getting cloned, and foreskins. Ryder worries about putting out his barber, Jackson dips a mohel in resin, and Dad just wants to explain that it's Mum's idea, not his. So upset your friends and family, explain to them that it's about privacy and get your boogers encased in resin. Either way, it’s just good resin.Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 you can help us ensure that our resin supplies are plentiful.And don’t forget to help us work out where to go for our Australian tour! Head to https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/sanspantstour and your handsome faces might be seeing our handsome faces very soon!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes decide they need a pet, can't afford one, and so try renting instead as Jackson pitches: A Pet Rental. We discuss the need for goons, ponder the cost of running a farm, and do 1940s Gangster accents. Dad thinks it's somehow unethical, Ryder wonders why Jackson keeps pitching animal business, and Jackson just wants to apply the loan-shark method of profiteering to pets. So head to the loudest, noisiest warehouse around, choose a pet out of the three tiers, and then fuck it all off and choose the party camel. It's the best decision you'll ever make, and that’s just good business!Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 you can help oversee the care for the animals.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes commit a minor crime, feel real bad about it, and want to confess as Ryder pitches a confessional. We discuss the wider implications of stealing a freddo frog, the many benefits of having someone else choose your girlfriend, and the infidelity of Peter. Jackson does a ripper texan accent, Dad doesn't believe in the whole premise and Ryder just promises one hundred percent guilt gone. So gather up your sins, head to the shady part of town and get your guilt removed. For a price. Guilty or not, it's just good business!Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 you can help everyone confess.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes take their paycheque, head on down to the casino, and discover that all the staff are dogs as Jackson pitches a dog casino. We discuss the natural inclination  for dogs to gamble, the moral implications of teach a pug blackjack, and the raw power of a roomba. Ryder is incredibly unimpressed, Dad wonders about animal rights, and Jackson forgets dogs don't have money. So wag your tail, clock in, and work four hours at a casino. Either way, it's just good business!Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 you can help pay the dogs wages.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes head down to the pub, try to impress their mates, and then lie about their job as Dad pitches: Scenarios. We discuss the different scenario tiers, the mystery of a private jet, and snidey children. Ryder confuses the 74' olympics and the 74th olympics, Jackson wonders why he'd pay for a lie he could just tell anyway, and Dad just hopes no one looks too deeply into dark scenarios. So go shopping for a brand new life, spend impossible amounts of money, and maybe actually end up in space. Either way, it's just good business!Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 you can help Dad impress people at the pub.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes approach a table full of patrons, attempt to guess what they want to eat, and fail miserably as we discuss a restaurant without a menu. We know exactly what Matt Preston wants to eat, make people pay before they've even ordered, and tap into the spiritual realm. Jackson won’t stop suggesting steak and eggs, Dad wonders what the point of the whole operation is, and Ryder just wishes we'd stop focussing on the lack of menu (even though that's all there is). So throw some magic bones in a pile, try to use some cold reading tricks, and get it right like 50% of the time. Either way, it's just good business!Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 you can help Ryder pay for all the food he throws out.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.