It's Not Normal

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson… this book was recommended to me more than once and, after sitting in my cart for far too long, I decided to buy it. I’m a little more than halfway through it, and, in this week’s episode, we take a look at Chapters 1-5 and dive a bit deeper into some of the hardest hitting concepts. 

0:00 Intro

1:21 Lack of Emotional Intimacy

6:54 Instincts and Relationships

10:43 Seeing Them Accurately is Not Betrayal

16:11 ‘If You Loved Me, You’d Just Know…’

20:13 Role-Self v. True-Self

30:36 Outro

In this week’s episode, we get into what it’s like when you find yourself in the position of having to tell someone in your life the truth about your narcissistic parent. Adding to the laundry list of responsibilities we take on as children of narcissistic parents, so many of us have to decide whether to uphold the image of our parent or be honest about our experience with them. From letting others in to ignoring birthday texts, so many of us are often put in a position that, on the surface, can be easily perceived as the ‘bad guy.’

0:00 Intro

0:26 Emotionally Abuse Is Easily Hidden

7:12 Running Into My Teacher

11:11 The Uncertainties of Speaking Out

14:02 Changing Their Opinion

16:24 Reclaim Your Narrative

18:20 Letting Go

24:39 Transparency in Relationships

28:28 Responsibilities and Birthday Texts

38:10 Drawing the Line

39:10 My Question to You

I’m 27 now. I’ve learned a lot this past year, and it seemed like a perfect time to reflect on what I’ve learned, what I’ve gotten better at, things I still struggle with and how I hope to get better at them moving forward. 

0:00 Intro

0:56 External Accomplishments

3:10 Just Scratching the Surface

5:46 Perspective at 26

10:20 Direct Communication

15:37 Intrusive Thoughts

22:05 Taking on Others’ Emotions As My Own

26:32 Embracing Change

35:19 Letting Go

41:47 Guilt-Free Down Time

43:47 Goals for 27

52:12 Growing this Community

56:45 A Final Nugget of Wisdom

In this week’s episode, we’re talking about periods! If blood, bleeding, cramps or vaginas make you uncomfortable, this episode might not be for you.

As I’ve made progress managing some of the more mental health focused challenges in my life over the course of this last year, I’ve started to shift my focus to include prioritizing my physical health too. Birth control is something that I have personal experience with, it’s something that affects both your physical and mental health, and I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s read the Washington Post Article that’s been circulating, ‘Women Are Getting Off Birth Control Amid Misinformation Explosion.’ I felt that the article was a bit misleading, it really didn’t sit well with me, and this is a big sister topic, so this seemed like the perfect way to kick off Season 2 of INN.

Chapters

0:00 Intro

2:15 Washington Post Article

5:24 Different Forms of Birth Control

8:08 Social Media Can Give Us Perspective

9:30 My Experience with the Pill

16:45 Getting an IUD 

24:42 How the Pill Affects Women’s Response to Stress

27:37 Feeling Like I Was Doing a Drug Deal

29:53 Birth Control Side Effects Feed the Narrative

31:43 Experts on Social Media

32:22 My Experience Applying for Healthcare 

34:26 Are Natural Remedies Ineffective?

36:30 Conduct Your Own Research

40:24 Outro

Resources:

https://nypost.com/2023/01/30/young-women-abandoning-birth-control-pills-for-mental-health/ 

https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/2024/03/21/stopping-birth-control-misinformation/

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/us/comment/2024/04/02/birth-control-misinformation-female-voters-democrats/

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control

We'll be back with the first episode of Season 2 on April 11th! See you then!!

In this week’s episode, we introduce a new chapter for the pod and reflect on how we got here. I’ve learned so much over the last twenty weeks, and I feel so grateful for the ongoing support and encouragement.

0:00 Lucky Number 21!

0:56 6 Months Ago

12:15 For My Younger Self

16:18 “It’s Not Normal”

17:26 Book Recs

19:28 We’re Not Alone

21:17 You’re An Expert In Your Own Experience

23:53 Seeing Them Honestly is Not Betrayal

26:46 Channeling my Inner Student

28:42 Discovering Myself

34:46 Announcement

38:09 BigSisCasey

42:13 There Is No Box

45:48 My Hopes

49:18 Back on 4/11/2024!!

There are countless negatives that go hand in hand with being raised by a narcissist, but what if I told you that you can turn some of those negatives into positives? In this week’s episode, we address things like hypervigilance and perfectionism, and talk about how toning down these survival skills so many of us were forced to develop throughout our childhood can serve us moving forward. 

0:00 Intro

0:50 Survival Skills

3:04 Little Superheroes

5:15 Hypervigilance

9:17 Perfectionism

16:05 Good Judge of Character

20:14 Narcissism

26:41 Lightbulbs

30:16 Outro

The In-Between - the name I’ve used to describe the dark, overwhelming and directionless time that comes after you’ve started to realize the trauma but before you’ve started to heal. You’re aware of the more negative behaviors you’ve witnessed growing up and maybe even started to mimic in your own life, you’re starting to unlearn, but you don’t yet feel ready to start implementing the newer, healthier behaviors you’re learning, so you’re left not feeling much of anything, numb. It’s a scary time full of uncertainty, especially if you don’t know what it is or that it has an end, and we talk all about it in this week’s episode. 

0:00 Intro

0:58 You Are Not An Extension of Your Parents

3:25 Manipulative Narcissistic Tactics

7:07 Power in Perspective

9:06 The In-Between

11:30 Unlearning Behaviors

17:23 Numbness/Understanding What Not To Do

23:27 The Next Step

28:39 A Relapse of Bad Behavior

30:46 Light at the End of the Tunnel

38:16 Outro

Support this channel for more content like this on Patreon
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It's Not Normal Podcast on Youtube
It's Not Normal Podcast on Spotify
It's Not Normal Podcast on Apple Podcasts

Support this channel for more content like this on Patreon
Emotional but Hopeful Merch on Shopify
It's Not Normal Podcast on Youtube
It's Not Normal Podcast on Spotify
It's Not Normal Podcast on Apple Podcasts