‘You cannot heal in the same environment that made you sick.’

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a mental health condition in which an individual has an inflated sense of self-importance. Narcissists are extremely self-focused and approach situations from the viewpoint, ‘how does this affect me?’ Competitiveness, comparison and a lack of empathy are characteristics of a narcissist that prevent them from sharing in the excitement and joy surrounding your own personal accomplishments. In this week’s episode, I discuss everything from winning the science fair in elementary school to traveling the country for the first time as a young adult, the differences in the reactions and support of my narcissistic parent and how I’ve managed to maintain positivity and happiness around personal accomplishments.

0:00 Intro

0:44 What is Narcissism?

1:05 My Early Accomplishments

1:40 Prioritizing Myself

3:00 Contrasting Accomplishments

4:45 Realizing That I Don’t Have to Wait Around

7:34 Narcissists Lack of Empathy 

10:19 Starting a Business on my Own

13:17 Mocking Your Personal Achievements 

17:38 Why Can’t You Just Be Happy For Me?

19:50 Having Trouble Trusting Your Gut

23:18 Healthy v. Narcissistic Relationship

26:22 Speaking Negatively About Others

28:42 Recognize the Behavior

30:02 It’s Not Personal

31:35 Set Boundaries 

35:47 Outro

Happy Holidays! The decision to go no contact is rarely an easy one. Feelings of sadness, guilt and even isolation are common and can be especially hard to reconcile around the holidays. This year marked my first no contact Christmas, and, while it was upsetting at times to no longer be partaking in family traditions I had cherished throughout my childhood, the distance also gave me peace of mind. In this week’s episode, I get into everything from how I was feeling and how I managed the more negative emotions that surfaced to how I’ve adjusted my expectations of the holiday season and how I plan to redefine family traditions for me!

1:17 Our Unconventional Approach to Life

5:09 Conventional Celebrations

7:00 The Value of Family Traditions

10:47 Adjusting to Changing Traditions

26:53 Misconceptions of Narcissistic Parents

29:56 Letting Go and Redefining

33:48 Optimist Based in Reality

37:37 Being Thankful for Where I Am Now

41:41 The Plan for Next Year

46:19 Outro

Growing up in a narcissistic family, you are often exposed to unhealthy behavior. Whether through observation or participation, it’s not uncommon to subconsciously integrate those same toxic traits into your own life. Through recognition and forgiveness, we can unlearn these negative behaviors and redefine our life and relationships. 

Chapters

0:00 Intro

0:27 Arguments

5:19 Closed Family System

8:45 My First Relationship

11:19 Red Flags

12:58 Mimicking Behavior

13:56 Direct Communication

15:37 Trust Issues

18:36 Control + Dependence

20:08 Hypervigilance

27:24 Recognition

30:08 Perspective from the Moms at Work

37:46 Willingness to Change

43:07 Starting from Zero

45:49 Numbness

49:00 Forgiving Past Version of Yourself

52:22 Outro

Control and Fostering Dependence - From my parents showing up unannounced to a concert I went to when I was 21 to hiding my keys, this week's episode gets into the narcissist's obsession with control and how fostering a sense of dependency helps them to maintain it.

The Pressure to be Productive - Why do we feel a constant need to be doing something? On this week's episode, we address everything from conditional love to the silent treatment in explaining why children of narcissistic parents are conditioned to earn love.

Let's talk about narcissistic parents sabotaging our experiences growing up..

Let's talk about generous gestures being used against you..

Let's talk about intrusive thoughts..

let's talk about living your life for someone else...