It's Not Normal

On October 6, 2023, I posted the first episode of It’s Not Normal. In this week’s episode, we celebrate one year of the podcast by revisiting some of the topics we talked about in the first few episodes with a new perspective. 

0:22 One Year of The Podcast

6:54 Revisiting Hypervigilance

16:15 Self-Worth

18:42 Styles of Communication

23:01 Validating Our Trauma Responses

26:36 Thank You!

How much have your personal goals changed since realizing your trauma? Throughout my young life, my goals were very traditional. They involved my family and successes outside of myself. As I’ve started to heal, my goals have shifted and are now much more about who I am rather than what I’m doing. In this week’s episode, we talk about shifting goals, perception of family, and how it can influence your sense of self.

0:54 Personal Goals

2:48 Externalizers and Traditional Goals

4:36 How I Feel Now

10:41 Perception of Family

14:08 Perception of Myself

24:35 Freedom From Expectations

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Being raised by emotionally manipulative parents can make even the idea of relationships seem scary. We’re kicking off Season 3 by connecting the dots between childhood trauma and the different ways we perceive and show up in relationships with friends, romantic partners and ourselves.

0:00 Season 3

1:57 Perspective Shift

2:15 Intentions

11:32 Trust

16:31 Allowing Our Authentic Selves to be Seen

21:37 Emotional Lonliness

24:35 Fear of Abandonment

28:41 Failure and Criticism

31:06 Self-Protection + Acceptance

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This week’s episode is packed with information and insights as we recap chapters 6-10 of Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson. We touch on everything from what it’s like to be an internalizer to how to identify emotionally maturity in others. 

0:00 What It’s Like to Be a Internalizer

9:03 Breaking Down and Awakening

20:32 Living Free of Roles and Fantasies

28:58 How to Identify Emotionally Mature People

34:11 Getting to Know Myself as an Adult

Do you feel in-touch with your authentic self? In this week’s episode, we talk about how and why being raised by an emotionally immature parent can lead us to suppress our authenticity, the importance of vulnerability in genuine connection and what we can do to allow space for self-discovery in adulthood.

0:09 Feeling In-Touch With My Authentic Self

3:09 Why We Suppress Our Authenticity

6:19 Our Inner Experience

9:29 Controlling Our Thoughts and Feelings

12:26 Allowing Ourselves To Be Seen

20:08 Making Mistakes Is Part of Being Human

21:47 Being Vulnerable

25:40 A Question For You

I’ve been no-contact with my parents for a just over a year. In this week’s episode, we talk about what led me to make that decision along with some of the things I’ve learned since having the freedom to get to know myself. 

0:38 What Led Me To Going No Contact

10:22 I Wrote My Parents A Letter

13:37 “But They’re Your Parents”

18:50 Embarrassment

25:08 Expecting Empathy

28:10 I Can Say ‘No’

31:00 Growth Is Possible

32:21 Trust and Change

35:59 A Few More Lessons

38:44 Some Things I’m Still Working On

Am I enough? Am I doing the right thing? Self-doubt is something that everyone experiences. Embracing self-awareness can challenge the toxic productivity mindset and allow us to act from a place of self-acceptance. 

0:00 Self-Awareness for Others

5:25 Manipulating My Experience

13:02 Smear Campaigns

18:06 Social Media

22:26 People-Pleasing

24:47 Toxic Productivity

27:20 It’s A Bedtime Not A Deadline

29:30 A Balanced Life

Navigating friendships can be challenging, especially when our foundation for connection has been conditional. Being raised by an emotionally immature parent and the resulting trauma can make developing and maintaining friendships difficult. 

0:00 Childhood Friendships

4:46 Isolation and Enmeshment

7:32 Separation Anxiety

12:17 Friendship Breakups

20:18 No Boundaries

22:25 Be Patient With Yourself

Discovering a work-life balance can be challenging, especially if throughout childhood you were never taught to prioritize yourself or how to set boundaries. In this week’s episode, we talk about how behaviors and trauma responses we picked up throughout childhood can manifest themselves in the workplace.

0:00 Intro

1:16 Path Design

5:18 Ralph Waldo Emerson

5:55 College Drop-Out

8:40 The Studio

16:18 Self-Neglect

23:58 Boundaries

25:52 Burnout

32: 21 My Question to You