Welcome Back to Jonah Asks. In this episode, meet Don Greenstein. I've known Don since I was a child. His mom is my Great Aunt Betty, which makes him my cousin. Don has a background in conflict management, facilitation of difficult communications, organizational development, law, and creative dispute management processes. He has more than 30 years of experience creating unique conflict resolution processes to meet the needs of those involved...at least that is what his work bio says. Don is a warm, compassionate and thoughtful human. I'm grateful we had this talk. music: Bright Eyes "First Day of My Life"OpeningFamily BackgroundLiving above the Vet Hospital in Victor, New York (1950s and 1960s)Don goes out into the field and helps his dad deliver a baby calf0:08Don's paternal grandparents were from Germany and Hungary, coming to the U.S. in the 1890s. 0:10Don's parents, known as "Betty and Eddie" to the rest of the family, met in Farmingdale, New York. They were married for 72 years and knew each other for 77 years. 0:13Divorce Becomes Common in 1970sDon's parents and Jonah's grandparents (on both sides) all had marriages that lasted over 65 years. Nearly all the children of those three couples have been through their own divorces. Don: "I think it was the culture of my generation. It was easier to throw things away than work on them.""It takes two to get married and it takes two to get divorced."On what kept marriages together in the 1940s and 1950s. Don: "Relationships are hard, but I think people of the older generation knew hardships and knew how to work and were willing to stay." Jonah mentions cultural changes, employment changes and opening up of options for women.Mediation: Creating a Fair ProcessMediations require people to give up things on both sides. When people walk away from mediation, if each person is a little agitated, that's probably a win-win. If one person feels very happy and the other is mad, that's unacceptable to me.Both people have to be willing to compromise. I've often thought it would be a great way to set a business model. If this is a hot dispute and you're going to yell at each other, then my rates are going to be $500 an hour. If you guys can work together, It'll be $150 an hour."Business Counseling Versus Personal CounselingDon had social work experience working with juveniles when he was in college. "Even though I have to be neutral, I'm more connected to the people I work with than counselors allow themselves to be. In my work now as an ombudsman (Brandeis University) Ninety percent of the people I see, I only see one person." 0:23An Ongoing Mediation: Getting a Couple to Finally Reach Agreement After Two and a Half YearsDomestic relations mediation. Don worked for a firm where he worked on a complicated and drawn-out divorce case.Jonah talks about the experience of being a child of divorce. How repressed anger impacts families. Unleashing anger in a controlled way is necessary and a relief. 0:31Releasing Anger in Cathartic Way Vs Repressing AngerRicky Gervais' character on the show "After Life" releases his anger in ways that most people rarely do. 0:35Helen and Earl (Lynma and Poppadaddy)Don's Aunt Helen and Uncle Earl were Jonah's grandparents, known as Lynma and Poppadaddy0:40West Virginia AdventureDon worked for an Outward Bound Rehabilitation Program in Monongahela National Forest in West Virginia. 0:46Nature, Mindfulness and Self-Care0:52Collective Political Urgency, Restorative Justice and State Legislation Around Issue of EqualityState legislatures restricting the vote and enforcing right-wing agenda on issues of equality around race and sexualityVoting restrictionshttps://www.brennancenter.org/our-work/research-reports/voting-laws-roundup-december-20210:56Working as an Ombuds: Dealing With Those Who Won't CompromiseDon's experience at the university-level with those in power that aren't always open to compromise or ot(continued)
