With insecure attachment, there is a great deal of drama and struggle, which can actually be addicting. We use this addiction as a distraction to avoid ourselves and our feelings. What’s a common example of drama? The push-pull effect of bringing someone close and then pushing them away. We place demands on others to behave how we think they should, and when they don’t, we tell ourselves it’s ok to run. It’s a pattern, and we become addicted to it because we know what to expect; it’s safe and predictable. Only… we don’t realize it’s a drama addiction because there is always hope that THIS time it will be different. It never is.

In an orchestrated drama, we may create distance as a means to intensely crave the other person. Everything becomes urgent, like a drug-induced fantasy of how we want things to be. Can you step outside yourself and see this dynamic at play in your current (or past) relationships? What are you doing to create tension? How are you making yourself “good” and them “bad”? It’s like a soap opera, and the addiction keeps you stuck beyond what you believe you can handle. Continue, and you will realize your biggest fears coming true. To stop the cycle, you have to notice the pattern and take responsibility for your part. You have to face what you’re avoiding, and your desire for something meaningful and fulfilling has to be stronger than your addiction to the drama.