Feeling your feelings matters if you are interested in a truly fulfilling life and general sense of wellbeing. It’s hard to do because our patterns of thought attempt to “save us” from our emotions. We become overwhelmed by them, which is why we tend to avoid or compartmentalize, keeping our emotions at a distance. Many of us learned this in childhood. When we felt hurt, sad, lonely or unloved, we didn’t want that pain, so we disconnected. And that pattern carried over to adulthood where it has kept us stuck in fantasyland. It’s safer to believe an unrealistic or ideal story than to pay attention to how we actually feel about reality.

We live in fear of our feelings, keeping us stuck and unable to move forth. If we fear a situation will bring us pain, we avoid it. This leads to anxiety and discomfort… which just creates MORE feelings of unease. It really behooves you to feel what is there so you can unpack the pain-filled closet and let it go. When you stop resisting your emotions and let them out, it’s like releasing a pressure valve; each time you do it you release a little more pain. If you don’t, it will undermine all of your attempts at a positive sense of wellbeing.

Learn how to break the pattern of avoidance and change this dynamic with yourself. If you’re in a painful relationship, or can’t get over a past one, the only way out of the quagmire of negative emotions is to feel them. When faced with choosing to avoid your feelings or allow, always allow. I promise you’ll not only survive, you’ll actually start to see changes.