Staying in a state of intensity when in an insecurely attached relationship can be exhausting, and it doesn’t even produce the desired results. Do you gauge what your mate does, then push him/her into doing what you want to create that perfect picture in your head? Not only is it a drain on your energy; it doesn’t work. It’s not about controlling others—it’s about finding emotional control by being honest with yourself and what you truly want. Stop trying so hard and learn how to relax by focusing internally, keeping your energy in your body. It feels much better than waiting for something from someone who may never give you what you want. Stop the cycle of intensity followed by disappointment, and instead learn to RELAX.