Joyful with Chloe Markham

I couldn’t help but share this on the pod’ with you this month: I met two women at a volunteering gig recently. I told them both the same thing about myself and my work, but I left one of those conversations feeling about two inches tall and the other feeling fucking brilliant.

Same conversation, almost the exact same sentence, but completely different approach and outcome. And it was down to me how I spoke about myself.

The stories we tell about ourselves — to ourselves and others — matter way more than we think. This will make you reconsider the next time you downplay how awesome you are and stop trying to make yourself smaller to fit. Because: fuck that.

Want more? Everything I make lives here.

I discovered something about myself as I was rushing to get ready for a funeral last month. I was in a chaotic house with six adults, two babies, a toddler, and two dogs. All of us needing to use one iron, one shower, and a small kettle. And I became really aware of the mellow discomfort I felt being in the front of the queue.

I realised this is a part of my — and probably your own — taught condition: put everyone else before yourself.

Everyone else eats first. Everyone else gets the iron first. Everyone else’s needs are the ones that count, not our own.

In this ep, I talk about that instinct, and how setting boundaries isn’t the same as being difficult. It’s about the vulnerability hangover that comes after you finally say what you need, and about why feeling like a bitch for asking isn’t a sign you’ve done something wrong.

Want more? My free writing, short courses, and one-to-one coaching all live on my resources page.

I burnt out last month. Proper dramatic burn-out. And it taught me a brilliant lesson in self-trust.

For years I’ve handed the decisions over to someone else first. Whether it’s about my business, my body, my rest… I used to run it all through a partner, then a coach, then whoever’s shouting loudest on Instagram. Never my own instincts.

Because that’s what some of us have been taught: don’t get it wrong, ask for permission first, you’re not capable to do it alone.

I used to think I just needed to find the right system. But I didn’t. I just needed to start trusting the thing I’d been outsourcing to other people the whole time: my own instinct.

This episode is about that pattern — in relationships, in business, in the algorithm’s advice on how to eat, sleep, and heal. About the peculiar gift of burnout. And about finding real certainty in the face of chaos.

Want more? My free writing, short courses, and one-to-one coaching all live here.

The pressure to optimise everything is everywhere. But not everything needs to be useful and productive to be worthwhile. In fact, we need more useless and unproductive time in our days, not less.

In this ep, I talk about why I’m failing to take a day off, how I’m trying to be better at that, and why I’ve decided to learn how to make pasta from scratch for absolutely no productive reason whatsoever.

Things I mentioned:

* Lina Stores – the London-based Italian that sparked my sudden desire to make pasta from scratch. Don’t mess about, go visit. Delicious.

* News Feed Eradicator – the amazing tool I use to remove feeds from my desktop (think there’s a Safari plug-in, too).

Want more? All my resources live here.

This is a really simple guided reset for when everything feels a bit… much.

Most of your nervous system runs like windscreen wipers — automated and brilliant.

But we can also press that little button to take control.

And this is what I guide in this session:a really simple breath technique your nervous system does automatically, that we can do manually to bring in more calm.

It’s not magic, but it feels like it.

I also ask you one simple question to tip the balance in your favour.

Asking this question becomes the game… and every time you remember it, you win 😉

If you’re someone who finds it hard to switch off, even when you finally have the time, this is for you.

Want more? My free writing, short courses, and one-to-one coaching all live here.

You don’t need better goals. You probably just need a more regulated nervous system.

In this live, I talked about uncertainty, and why so many of us use goal-setting as a way to make it feel safer.

Goals promise clarity, direction, a sprinkling of control over an uncertain future.

But I see this so often: they also create more pressure, self-surveillance, and more stress than they solve.

Here’s another way to relate to uncertainty:

Instead of forcing outcomes, we can run experiments.Instead of demanding certainty, we can practise curiosity.Instead of tightening, we can regulate.

This conversation explores:

* Why control doesn’t equal safety

* How goals can activate the nervous system

* Why experiments create more steadiness

* And how to build the capacity to sit in the unknown

At the end, I guide a short interoceptive practice so you can actually feel the difference in your body, not just understand it intellectually.

If you’re tired of trying to out-plan uncertainty…this is for you.

Want more? All my resources live here.

This was my first official Substack Live — a proper hello, a simple practice, and a reminder that joy doesn’t require moving to Bali.

I talk about:

* Why joy isn’t about constant happiness, peak experiences, or walking around like you’re in a yoghurt advert

* How nervous system regulation quietly changes everything

* Why “just calm down” doesn’t work when you’re already burnt out

* And how small, gentle practices — not dramatic life overhauls — can slowly change your relationship with life

And we practice:

* An easy-going nervous system down-regulator you can return to anytime you feel overwhelmed, wired, flat, exhausted, or like you might cry over a mildly aggressive email

* The practice begins at 4:28.

I also share a little about Joy Unplugged — my 8-week programme for burnt-out, sensitive humans who want genuine relief, not another self-optimisation project.

This isn’t about fixing yourself, it’s about stopping the fight with yourself.

If this resonates, you’re super welcome here (I’ll put the kettle on).

Big love,

Chloe🧡

Want more? All my resources live here.

This session is free for everyone.

Eight minutes is enough to change your state.

And the state you’re in — not your to-do list, not your intentions, not the busy-ness of the season — decides the quality of your day.

And this session will improve the quality of your day. It’s a state-changing reset you can use anywhere, calming the body first, then allowing everything else to follow.

You don’t need a routine, you don’t need willpower, you just need eight minutes.

Practice and let me know what shifts — I’d love to hear.

(And this one’s totally free, share with someone who needs it today.)

Big love,

Chloe🧡

Eight minutes is brilliant for the middle of a chaotic day. But sometimes our systems need longer. The Deep Rest Collection is six nidras (from 11 to 29 minutes) for six different types of tired. Only £10, press play anytime.

What a conversation!

Big love to the wonderful Anna Rose for chatting with me live on her Toolkit Series earlier this week.

We talked about burnout, nervous system weirdness, finding joy (like, actually feeling it), and remembering how to feel anything at all in this chaotic world.

A few things we touched on:

* How joy isn’t fluffy — it’s radical, grounding, and necessary.

* Nervous system stuff (but make it kind and not overcomplicated).

* Why resting doesn’t always feel restful.

* The real reasons we stay in burnout cycles.

* Joy Unplugged — the program I’ve built for women who are done running on empty.

This chat is warm, honest, a bit sweary (hi), and might just give you something you didn’t know you needed today.

Here’s those articles of mine that Anna mentions:

Joy Unplugged

We talk about this in the conversation: Joy Unplugged is my signature program—an 8-week journey back to yourself, for brilliant, world-bettering women who are done with burnout and ready for real joy, ease, and nervous system restoration.

A big thank you to Lucy Werner, Chloë Jones, and so many others for tuning in with us live. Make sure to subscribe to Anna Rose’s stack to get the next live in this series.

And thank you, Anna, for being a joy-bringer and letting me go off on one about joy, burnout, and life.

Catch you soon,

Chloe🧡

Want more? All my resources live here.

TL;DR – What we talked about:

* Why burnout isn’t just about “doing too much”

* The moment I knew something had to change

* How I rebuilt my life after rock bottom

* Why nervous system care is deeper than bubble baths and long weekends

* The joy practices that still carry me now

Welcome to the Healing is Living series

“This isn’t just about healing. It’s about living it. Together.”

That’s how Janki opened our live—with intention, honesty, and warmth. This conversation kicked off her Healing is Living series, and I was so honoured to join from Yorkshire, England while she tuned in from India.

We started with gratitude and presence. No rush or script, just two women chatting burnout, recovery, and joy.

Want more? All my resources live here.