It’s quiet, too quiet! David Waldman and Greg Dworkin wish you a pleasant Eastern Orthodox DC Emancipation Day. We had hoped to cover the open of Dominion v. Fox season, but that was EO-ed over to tomorrow. Fox will take advantage of the extra time to dig itself a deeper hole. Don’t believe everything Fox tells you, as if you’d ever. One day is no big deal. The only downside is that Gym Jordan soundbites might get more airtime.

Senator Dianne Feinstein remains Senator and remains old. She has been both for a long time.

Air National Guardsman Jack Teixeira was charged under the Espionage Act, not to be confused with Air National Guardsman Josiah Ernesto Garcia, arrested in connection with a murder-for-hire scheme, and probably now hoping to get on Marjorie Taylor Greene's good side. How did Jack Teixeira leak so much information? How did the FBI track him down? How did the press track him down just as quickly? Are there only a few good men in the Armed Forces? While we seem to get dumber, Russia seems to be getting smarter.

Donald Trump warns the Religious Right that it’s either that loser God or him, but it looks as if Republicans are hoping to keep that threesome going no matter what, just maybe a bit on the down-low through the elections. A majority of Americans say Republicans should shut up about wokeness, but Republicans do hate to shut up, especially about, ironically enough, banning books. Now the public is telling them to shut up about that too. Gen Z pretty much has the Obama and Trump eras to compare in their lives and now are taking control.

Glenn Youngkin is the latest loser of the 2024 Presidential election. There are many more to come, they just don’t know it yet.

One Black doctor in any county means Black residents will live longer there.

David Waldman delivers us to the weekend… but so does Greg Dworkin! Greg’s Ov’rloaded Raft O’ Stories™ couldn’t have stayed afloat another day.

Dianne Feinstein is under the weather, though not quite far enough for some of her pals. Feinstein is stepping down from the Judiciary Panel, but if that is not enough, there will be some challenges.

Harlan Crow bought a house for Clarence Thomas’ mother, which Thomas already owned, and his mother already lived in, as one does for one’s buddy. Clarence wouldn’t disclose such a friendly gesture. 

God-fearing, patriotic, health-conscious, well-educated, well-raised, well-liked, and well-respected... yet young and naive, Jack (He’s White) Teixeira made friends with the other boys and impressed strangers by wowing them with his espionage skills.

Donald Trump should take notes from Jack, although if he did, he would have sold them by now. Donald presently is in New York dazzling lawyers for Attorney General Letitia James with his superior wit and intellect.

Trump met with Evangelicals in the hope they’d maybe talk to God and get Him to ease up a bit on that abortion stuff. Short-term presidential candidate Tim Scott doesn’t know what to say, literally. Democrats have a 28-point advantage on abortion, pretty much the story across the nation. Here’s why this is bad news for Joe Biden…

Actually, if there’s anybody you can count on to walk into a trap, it’s Ron DeSantis. Ignoring Florida’s history (of course), Ron will ban abortion 6 weeks after conception. DeSantis has only just begun deliver Florida and himself to hell.

Ace KITM Correspondent Roslyn MacGregor shares the secret of her success (“It’s easy peasy!”) and reports on Ron DeSantis bringing his Florida magic to Michigan., where the woke go to get away from MAGA.

Amarillo judge Matt Kacsmaryk’s Mifepristone decision is indefensible, and yet somehow it needs to be defended against, or else Amarillo judges will end up ruling the United States. That is the Supreme Court’s job. Therefore, Judge Thomas Rice enters for the block.

David Waldman goes solo again!

Greg Dworkin remains on assignment covering the ancillary bank holiday jubilee through the agency of the Duchy of Grand Fenwick. Weather permitting, Greg will be steaming back into port tomorrow.

The Washington post broke today’s big story in a manner Mark Sumner loathed, yet WAPO’s sugarcoating couldn’t hide the shocking details. Secret Pentagon documents were leaked in near-real-time to a Discord server frequented by Minecraft players. It now looks as if the leaker was an Air National Guard in his twenties trying to impress, and groom, teenage boys.

Of course, Donald Trump psychokinetically declassified any documents before showing them off… unless he could get more money for them as-is. Trump gave an interview with Tucker Carlson, who unfortunately couldn’t comment on much of what was said due to his rectal vantagepoint. We all know that no one is more generous than Donald Trump, but there just ain’t room for two, so off went Lindsey Graham to pop in on Mohammed bin Salman, presumably to a different pocket than Jared Kushner.

Trump now heads to Nashville, where he could, but probably won’t, meet with the Tennessee Three. Meanwhile, the Arizona House expelled a member! And she’s a Republican! And it was because of election denial lies!

Greg Dworkin is out today, putting his money where his mouth is… at the dentist. Can it even be a Wednesday if only David Waldman is here?

Odds are there will probably be another mass shooting this week, even though some aren’t finished being idiots about the previous ones. Louisville’s mayor finds that the killer’s AR-15 is better protected than his victims. At least Tennessee’s Governor Bill Lee was inspired to sign an executive order strengthening background checks. Lee is a Republican, but somebody had to do it. Oh yeah, that was the reason Justins Pearson and Jones were expelled from the Tennessee House wasn’t it? Justin Jones is already back at work, and Justin Pearson could be back as soon as tomorrow.

The free market has spoken. Popular handgun SIG Sauer P320 turns on its owners when it wants to, and there is nothing they can do about it.

Why do Republicans keep doing bigoted, extremist, dumb things?  Because that’s who votes for them. It’s also what the boss wants.

It turns out that Rupert Murdoch isn’t just the owner and chairman of Fox, he’s a corporate officer at Fox News. Former Fox producer Abby Grossberg says Fox has secret tapes of Rudy Giuliani admitting that there is no proof of the 2020 presidential election being stolen.

The Gang of Eight will have access to Trump, Biden and Pence classified documents, maybe four of them in good faith.

Amarillo judge Matthew J. Kacsmaryk is the worst federal judge. So why is President Joe Biden paying attention to him?

Ruptured Republicans! Republicans in rupture! I don’t know. It just doesn’t ring like “Dems in disarray” does it?  It’s true, though. Here, let David Waldman and finally returning special guest Joan McCarter present to you two hours' worth of examples: 

Kevin McCarthy is the last person anyone would expect to hold things together, and it turns out that he is meeting everyone’s expectations. Of course, bad management can only get you so far, but the Gop backs it up with an assault on abortion rights and freedom, democracy and the future of anyone under 60.

As of this writing no mass shooter slaughtered more so far this day than the Louisville shooter did yesterday. Republicans were prepared for the guns-bullets-deaths aspect of the shooting but can’t comprehend why a guy born male would ever identify as “he/him”.

Laura Loomer, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Jenna Ellis, and Lauren Witzke are in a four-way fight for Donald Trump’s affections. Nikki Haley plays hard to get. Donald still has eyes for Melania, which she would prefer under her fingernails.

Jim Jordan packs up his circus and heads to the Big Apple, where sadly, attendance will be limited.

Book bans and restrictions are also a losing issue for Republicans, but Ron DeSantis still hasn’t finished showing the world that he’s a big boy, therefore he’s doubling down on schools and still attempting to beat up Disney.

Tennessee Republicans right-wing bubble burst with the instant return of Justin Jones, and Justin Pearson soon to follow.

Kid Rock drinks Bud Light while hanging out with drag queens and… but… Why are we talking about this again?

Democrats have their share of chaos as well. Some want to fight the Amarillo court’s national ban on Mifepristone, and some want to ignore it.

Happy Passover, Easter, Ramadan, Smigus Dyngus and KITM Monday for all those who observe. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are especially observant today: 

We start off the day under the cloud of a mass shooting, like usual. It’s too soon to know if Governor Greg Abbott will pardon anyone involved. Abbott is eager to pardon a guy who planned to kill some people and ended up finding his Kyle Rittenhouse/George Zimmerman opportunity at a Black Lives Matter demonstration that day. Similarly, Donald Trump hopes to offer as many pardons as he has enemies, and maybe a few preemptive pardons to take care of his future enemies. Compared to their mentors, future conservatives hope to develop less scruples. 

On the other hand, voters have become less forgiving of Donald Trump’s criminality lately. Alvin Bragg's indictment of Trump isn’t weak, it’s standard.

Any good friend of Clarence Thomas understands that he likes really nice stuff for free. Harlan Crow really understands his good friend Clarence Thomas. In turn, Clarence might understand why Harlan has so much Nazi paraphernalia. In fact, Thomas might have a very good idea why Harlan’s brother is so much into human trafficking. Clarence Thomas could tell you a lot of things, but about twenty years ago he was advised to quit telling anything to anybody.

In Tennessee the stupidity burns. It will burn much longer than they could ever imagine.

The right to abortion will be secured before the end of the decade. In 2024 we can expect at least ten states to have citizen-led ballot initiatives enshrining abortion rights in their state constitutions. Here are 23 states that can amend their constitutions to protect abortion.

Britain has many of the same problems as the US, but long ago discovered a way to distract the right numpty plonkers.

You, on the other hand are much smarter. Smart people in Virginia support Atoosa Reaser and Juli Briskman. In fact, you don’t even have to be from Virginia!

David Waldman wishes us all a Good Friday.  To make it even gooder, check out the latest KITM:

Well, they really did it. Tennessee’s Republican House expelled two out of three Democratic representatives for speaking out of turn. Republicans figured people could just look at those two and understand their need to be delt with without the encumbrance of due process but then discovered that old times there have been forgotten.  In fact, Justins Jones and Pearson will shortly return as uppity as ever. Some Tennesseans have responded by using their second amendment rights as the Founders intended, shooting holes in the houses of people they’re mad at.

Donald Trump is a role model for these people, leading them through a combination of self-pity and blind rage. This is a dilemma for the judge in… No, it isn’t. This should be pretty simple for any judge. Smilin’ Jack Smith is neck and neck with Fani Willis to become the next indictor of Donald’s art of stupidly illegal deals. Ride or die Republicans are seeing the pavement coming up fast. If Republicans were smart, they would change the subject with a debt ceiling plan, but they aren’t.

Clarence Thomas seems to be on a quest to be the most corrupt Justice in the Supreme Court. Thomas explains that actually he’s the most gracious guest in the history of plutocratic affection.

KITM Michigan Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reports that local plutocrats led by Betsy DeVos are installing a shadow Republican party to eclipse the Michigan state Gop, even while the party’s new leader, Kristina Karamo is doing her best to be a MAGA whack-job.

KITM Senior Black Correspondent Darwin H.M. relates the parable of “Green and purple”.

Tom Hanks’ latest movie is out, and it is short, educational and informative.

The bread’s a little flat, but David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are here to leaven our day with political insight and dry wit.

Donald Trump, who excels at losing, is entering the hottest streak of his career, and doesn’t plan to slack off until all Republicans become sick of winning. Courtroom artists will have many opportunities to capture Donald’s true essence. Pundits looking at Alvin Bragg’s case just see an outline, but that’s because Bragg isn’t obligated to fill it in yet. Trump also has months to make everything much worse. Behind the scenes, even Evangelicals are losing faith.

ProPublica reveals that for decades Clarence Thomas accepted luxury vacations on a private jet and a superyacht from Republican megadonor Harlan Crow. The extent and frequency of these apparent gifts to Thomas has no known precedent in modern SCOTUS history… Greg compares Thomas’ Rolodex with that of Abe Fortas. Look that up in your Funk & Wagnalls!

Free the Tennessee Three! This isn’t a good look for Tennessee Republicans. Montana Republicans plot a one-time election law change to screw over Democrat Jon Tester. James Comer enlists prosecutors to destroy their careers in order to irritate Joe Biden. Now, Wisconsin Republicans are looking into impeaching Judge Janet Protasiewicz, two days after her election. Why? Mostly because she won her election, but also because she won her election big. Also, because Republicans will be losing a lot more elections as they try to take away abortion rights.

Way to go, Brandon! Brandon Johnson offered Chicagoans solutions, and solutions were what they were looking for.

Happy holidays! David Waldman and Greg Dworkin start the day off in post Arraignment Day spirit and good will.

That doesn’t include Donald Trump. No one is passing over him anymore. Yesterday was the day Donald Trump finally became a regular citizen of the United States. Here’s wishing Donald many more ordinary days.

It seems that few want to treat Trump’s indictment normally, however. Indicting everyone worthy of indictment was the Founder’s intent, to keep the demagogues down. The case against Trump might be tricky, but it’s strong. Alvin Bragg has the law on his side, all else is irrelevant.

That won’t keep idiots from trying of course. Their hope is that stepping up to murder might cool off those fraud charges. And, is Jack Smith really his name? 

The DOJ has new evidence of obstruction at Mar-a-Lago, and they’re talking to Secret Service agents. Maybe Donald was just Art of the Dealing with those classified documents to make some Nixon-level money before handing them off?

Meanwhile, our democracy was saved in Wisconsin in the nick of time before its falling into the 1800’s. Janet Protasiewicz (spelled just like it sounds) is a huge win for progressives, and won huge in Wisconsin, winning in blue and red districts. Or, at least the reds didn’t vote against her. The will of the people in double digits was recognized by Republicans with their expected grace. 

Similarly, the Republican Tennessee House has moved to expel three Democratic members calling for gun control. Republicans feel that being on the wrong side of history will sting less once they eliminate all of their enemies.

It’s Arraignment Day! Should David Waldman wish us a happy Arraignment Day, or is it one of those more somber, reflective holidays? We have a few more coming up soon, so we’ll figure it out.

This is a big day for Donald Trump, but it just isn’t his day. Donald had all sorts of big plans, but even in New York City it’s difficult to source a cross light enough for him to bear down Broadway.

It was very ugly in Manhattan this morning, and that was before 60 Minutes celebrity Marjorie Traitor Greene auditioned for Lead Disciple in Trump’s passion play. Marge got the gong.

Meanwhile, Eric Trump and Junior were left to wait in the plane. (The windows were rolled down.)  Eric waived to the Eric Trump on TV, and Eric waved back, but wouldn’t come over to play. Junior might have pooped his pants though.

More obstruction evidence at Mar-a-Lago would be the last thing Trump needs, and yet for the guy who wants everything, it’s the perfect gift. Trump found out that Nixon got $18 million following his White House crimes, and was making the perfect deal to top it, when all of a sudden, they raided Mar-a-Lago, they viciously raided it.

Roy McGrath, former chief of staff for former Maryland Gov. Larry Hogan was formerly a fugitive from the FBI but is presently dead from somebody’s bullet.

McGrath was shot in Tennessee, which has plenty to be concerned about. Thousands of students marched on the Capitol demanding gun control. They were joined by 3 Democratic House members, which must be a bad thing, because they were stripped of committee roles, and might be expelled. Apparently not so bad, physically assaulting Democratic House members.

Remember when Russia said Finland joining NATO didn't pose a threat? They changed their mind. Right when it was their turn to take charge of the UN security council, too.