Keith and The Girl

It’s now officially been 6 months since Keith last saw his ex-girlfriend, but this got him through a rough day: “To reconnect to the person who hurt you is disrespectful to the version of you who suffered.” Enjoy.

Keith and Chemda were blessed with Bianca and Andrea doing book reports of Father Malley’s tomes. Today we remember His Majesty. Also God’s.

(Chronic KATG Poker Champ) Keith (yes, AGAIN) shares his thoughts on his breakup now reaching its 5-month mark. He also discusses his upcoming hair metal date with the guys, his thoughts on Senator Lindsey Graham’s passing (take a guess), Christopher Nolan’s new 6-hour film The Odyssey, and New Jersey’s own Johnny Gabagool. Then he reveals that the Father Malley Gold Story has an ending! Keith sums up the FBI’s payout regarding the missing gold that Father Malley’s clairvoyance located in 1974. We then remember the time Keith and his brother Ken covered the story in the first place with The Atlantic article featuring their dad titled A LOST TROVE OF CIVIL WAR GOLD, AN FBI EXCAVATION, AND SOME VERY ANGRY TREASURE HUNTERS.

America celebrated her 250th birthday. And man does she look it. HELLER! Anyway, Keith is back with close friend and KATG great Katharine Heller. Katharine just returned to NYC from visiting Keith in Charlotte, and she’s ready to report on her findings. Was Keith a good host? Did Keith brag about having a perfect refrigerator yet not have simple classic yellow mustard? Did Keith’s water go out on Vacation Day 2? Did the two of them watch Louis CK: Ridiculous, Corey Feldman vs the World, the SNL documentary Lorne, and Spielberg's Disclosure Day? Did the Supreme Court make it official that President Trump indeed raped E. Jean Carroll? Who won the 2026 Nathan's Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest? Did Taylor Swift marry the football guy at Madison Square Garden? Did Keith sleep in til 5 pm on Vacation Day 3? Did Keith set the bar winning all three 3 KATG poker games in one day? Did Saadia murder Keith? Only one way to find out.

Keith is going to have the second person ever in his Charlotte home after over a year! How will he fare, and how is his brain mentally and otherwise? It’s all right here.

Turns out that Keith’s not the only writer in the Malley family. Keith and brother Ken celebrated Christmas by recalling what was found cleaning out their family home. Keith’s siblings discovered a heartbreaking story written by their Mom about her marrying a loser and ruining her life as well as an email sent to her by their dad explaining how he almost died over hearing that she doesn’t understand his concerns over expired food. (His entire body went LIMP all day long over this, and yet she better not dare share how suicide MIGHT be a way for her to get away from his stupidity. HE WILL NOT BE PART OF THAT!)

More about Dad. Even less to know. HAPPY FATHER’S DAY

For real though, peace and love to all the good fathers out there; and to all the happy spouses, lovers, and childrens: Good for you. This is more for the rest of us. Good God.

In honor of the world celebrating Father’s Day, this week Keith will look back at the VIP-featured KATG spin-off show Daddy Issues which began in COVID-era 2020 with episodes that feature his youngest brother Ken trying to help make sense of their father and their upbringing. We’re happy for all of you in loving families with caring fathers that got to celebrate the weekend. This now, however, is for the rest of us.

Happy Juneteenth! Keith is waving his flags today. (In the good way!) With the fellow Diamond Dogs he discusses his favorite teams winning all the sports, President Trump’s Pride UFC birthday party, Tony Hinchcliffe’s Man of the People “stand-up” (very) special (Rotten Tomatoes: 5% [prayerhands.emoji]), and Michael Jackson: The Verdict. The gang also revisit Objectum Sexuality and the Eiffel Tower’s wife’s divorce to be with an ordinary fence.