How do we respond when someone disappoints or offends us?
In “Kindness and Compassion When Dealing with Others,” we’re reminded that while our instincts may push us toward harshness or confrontation, Scripture calls us to something higher—compassion, forgiveness, and restoration. One mom shares how she chose grace over anger after a trusted friend made a poor choice. The result? A restored relationship and a glimpse of God’s heart in action.

Key Takeaways:

• God calls us to handle correction with grace (Eph. 4:32)

• Following Matthew 18 means addressing issues directly—and kindly

• Extending forgiveness models the grace we’ve received

• Gentleness can repair what harshness might destroy

📖 “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:32

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Full Transcript Below:

Kindness and Compassion When Dealing with Others

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32

My nineteen-year-old daughter came up to me during a wedding reception. “A friend tried to get me to drink alcohol,” she said. She assured me that she had not drunk it, but told me the offer made her feel uncomfortable. Not only that, but the friend told her she would block our view so that her father and I couldn't see what was going on. I was surprised and upset to hear this. I thanked her for telling me this and told her she was right to stand up for what she believed in and refuse the alcohol.

Not only was this situation wrong, but the person who offered her the alcohol was someone who claimed to be Christian. She had just been baptized a few months prior and was a hard-working, intelligent individual. Although we had never had issues with this person before, it upset me that not only would she offer an underage person alcohol, but that she would go so far as to be deceitful about it.

A few days later, I was still upset about this. I was tempted to go to her mother and let her know what had happened. I wanted her to apologize and assure me that it would never happen again. But as I prayed, I felt the Lord impressing upon my heart the need to deal with her in gentleness. Instead of going to her mother, I sent this person a text. I let her know that I loved her, but I also told her that the situation had been brought to my attention. 

I asked her to respectfully refrain from ever doing that again. I also let her know that I would never think differently of her, and that all was forgiven. But I did want to let her know that the situation was unacceptable and should never happen again.

A little while later, I received an apologetic response from this person. She told me she was wrong for doing it and let me know she would never do it again. In my flesh, I wanted to deal harshly with her, but as the above verse suggests, I needed to deal with her with kindness and compassion. I also needed to extend forgiveness freely to her, especially since we had never had to deal with this issue before. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and let her know that I still loved her despite the difficult situation, and also assured her I would not speak to her mother about it.

Similar to the above verse, Matthew 18 commands us to go to a person and let them know when they are at fault. It is essential that in the first step of Matthew 18, we approach the person privately and discuss the matter with them alone. This gives them a chance to repent and express godly sorrow for what they've done. We also show them kindness in the wake of their sin. If they do so, we have won them over, and there's no need for future corrective action. 

However, if someone is unwilling to repent or unable to do so, the next step in Matthew 18 should be taken. The person should then bring one or two witnesses with them and confront them again. If it remains an issue, it should be brought before the church. However, being brought before the church should be the last step in the process. The Bible does not want us to deal harshly with people. Many verses emphasize the need to restore people gently to the fellowship.

We must never forget that we need forgiveness, just as everyone else does. My flesh wanted to deal harshly with this person, but the Holy Spirit led me to choose the latter option. As a result, our relationship was repaired and restored. She was able to express her feelings and ask for forgiveness, and I was more than willing to give it. Because of all this, God is glorified.

Father, let us be people who treat others with kindness and compassion. Let's remind ourselves that we are all in need of God's grace, mercy, and forgiveness. Help us to deal with people in love just as God deals with us. Help us to repair broken relationships and deal with people in gentleness, so that the situation can be rectified, justice can be served, and God can be glorified through it all. Amen. 

Intersecting Faith and Life

Do you treat others with kindness and compassion, or with harshness? What can you do to change that?

Further Reading

Romans 8:28

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