You heard it here first: Jessica A. Mary Magdalene Levin the First is running for office and Igor is her campaign manager. In this episode, Jess gets bombed and buys an embarrassing self-help book and nearly kills someone at the laundromat. Anger is one hell of a drug and so are narcissists. Igor discusses the five languages of love, which includes blow jobs and sticking a finger up your butt while your dog watches (poor Ponyo). Mental health and sexual discovery are important folks! Also, when did Father's Day become an actual thing? Who really likes or even knows their dad?! We go balls deep, kiddos! So bring a mitt and let's play catch with trauma, laughs, and sexual repression.

While on mushrooms in Central Park, Igor discovers he is definitely NOT a pedophile (we had our doubts) and Jess recounts a tale with a pedophile neighbor. But it was the 80s, so it was really a "right of passage.” Also, Igor witnesses a possible death at the gym which has them reminisce about unexpected death and binge drinking. What's a wake without tequila shots, people? Plus, the duo share their thoughts on the Michael Jackson musical and regret. Maybe MJ would have been better off if he played with dolls? Strap in because it’s another banger from these two anxious, absurdly wired misfits.

What's a birthday without anxiety, murder fantasies, and shrooms as Igor welcomes his 33rd trip around the sun! Meanwhile, bartenders will miss Levin as she is back on the wagon (Igor still doesn't know what that means) and vows to give up her "happy juice" (for only 2 weeks, but still). The Lady also details her (cue annoying white girl voice) “journey” in finding a good therapist and our hosts bond over committing murder yet again. Just another episode filled to the brim with killing babies and finding their coping mechanisms. So listen, share, and wear a helmet.

Blah! Relationships and feelings can lead to a catharsis that makes one vomit, punch a wall or have water come out of the eye (ahem, cry). It's a heavy one folks so get ready to unleash the fury. The dynamic duo get wicked deep discussing everything from Igor robbing cradles, Lil Wayne, rappers having to pay taxes while still living up to the "G Code,” and reaching enlightenment thru, yes, misery. They also bond over the difficulties of public transit and the overuse of the phrase “toxic people” and Jessica shares her quest for happiness via suffering because "existence is pain.” Light the incense and get that yoga mat ready cause this shit is a doozy.

We start with a bang folks! Jess details her bout with pretty people while Igor, Mr. Devil's Advocate, shares his empathetic tools when dealing with the “Pretty Class” and just like young Hamlet, the Lady and The Simp face the hardest question life has to offer: to be rich or to be ugly? THAT IS THE QUESTION! Plus Levin shares her love for citrus, all things food, her father's disdain for "stuffing balls" and broken fish, and her epic journey to CVS to get her first COVID shot. And finally, Igor talks about his annoyance with negative people, plucking nose hairs, his last meal, and the abomination of carnival arepas. As always, it's a smorgasbord, folks! So get stoned, come hungry, and bring the Pepto.

SPOILER ALERT: this episode hits ya like an anvil being thrown off the Chrysler building. The duo talk about the journey of relationships (or Levin's lack thereof). Igor and Jess also give a nice five-point presentation about sexual deviancy in the bedroom; someone took Fifty Shades of Grey to a new level and it involves fluids (ahem Igor). Also, Jess explains the meaning behind “Summer of Levin” and her hopes of pursuing a hoe phase while Igor recounts his tough “bros before hoes” lesson (shout out to Hector) and his desire to be a female thirst trap. So dive into the deep end folks and enjoy the intimate details of love, plastic surgery, and OJ Simpson till your fingers get pruney. This episode might actually ruin your life. YAY!

The duo discuss the joys of going to music festivals as VIP (and when you age out of partying amongst the peasants), family dynamics, and what makes a great bar fight. Igor wants to drink from the fountain of youth while Jessica was born with a middle-aged soul. There’s also hockey stories and Levin's last meal on death row. Tis' just the tip of the iceberg on what is discussed and divulged. So get those earbuds in or blast your boom box (boom box? how fucking old are they?) and invade others' eardrums with this week's absurdities. Smooches.

Igor doesn't shy away from his love and loyalty to the one and only Britney Spears. It's Britney, bitch! He also shares his artistic process when it comes to sharing photos of his genitalia and Señor Slick Simp shares a little secret when left to his own devices. Meanwhile, hungover Jessica reminisces about her days of learning and playing rugby for love, riding on stolen bicycles, and living life like a gyspy. Plus the landscape of New York City real estate and the lost art of hip hop music videos. I mean really, what don't they talk about? 

Jess and Igor divulge their adventures in the south, with such classic tales like blacking out and screaming at a soon-to-be infamous church, blacking out and jumping over fences that may or may not have barbed wire, and blacking out and having an existential crisis as a beach bum (hmm, there seems to be a common theme here). Listen to this week as the two discuss the absurdity and funny turmoils of love, adventures in Florida, the responsibilities of dog ownership, and being labeled the "slow kids." Just another stack of more ridiculous stories and discussions for your hearts, minds, and eardrums.

Jessica schools Igor on martinis and the history of the Fab Five while Igor educates Jessica on the art of fighting on ice and Canadian hockey. The Simp and Simpette talk about the Tiger Woods doc and similarities in their own form of humiliation from "sideline parents.” They discuss growing up with their respective grandparents while going through (ahem) puberty. And finally, the wants, needs, and pains of relationships with friends and lovers (sometimes, the real ones torture each other via a houseplant). AND SO MUCH MORE! THEY RUN THE GAMUT ON THIS ONE!