Stories this week include:

• Firefighters stunned at duck's ability to swim in water.
• Local man insists that everyone should 'get it out' at Christmas.
• Foul-mouthed customer upset by free gift.
• Husband punches beaver for the first time, apparently.

Also revealed: We name a selection of Welsh recording artists...

Stories this week include:

• Saviour of poultry returns from the dead in Cornwall.
• Man with vendetta launches campaign to rid Gloucester of all pet felines.
• Factory worker engages in stand-off with armed police after mother revokes television privileges.
• Offensive Christmas decoration is this year's must have for Yewtree.

Also revealed: We wish all our listeners a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year...now, how about a badly sung Christmas carol?

Stories this week include:

• 'West Country Disneyland' finally issued with a cease and desist for copyright infringement.
• Overweight son still upset despite a million wishes to the contrary.
• Police demand motorist pays for damage to mattress that caused A34 crash.
• Car park bones not human.

Also revealed: We address a formal compliant...

Stories this week include:

• Deer on beach reported to police.
• Lindsay Lohan dismisses Northamptonshire town.
• Man captures picture of ghost/dog on Snapchat.
• Smug b*stard awarded chocolate.

Also revealed: Alex smells his jeans...

Stories this week include:

• Police launch investigation into 'special interest' club established by Tory peer.
• Attention seeking roofer finds imaginative new way to embarrass himself.
• Delays to train service caused by wrong kind of squirrel.
• Aliens force man to go to bed.

Also revealed: Rob gets angry...

Stories this week include:

• Shopper severs own toe in protest at store's woeful Christmas display.
• Father admits concocting message in a bottle stunt to enliven mundane existence.
• Conservation peer may or may not have murdered family pet.
• Disagreement quickly slides into mass brawl.

Also revealed: We celebrate the New World Order...

Stories this week include:

• Better class of racist thug convicted in Poole.
• Off-roading pensioners incite cow stampede.
• Panthers believed to have infiltrated several FTSE 100 CEO posts.
• Harry Redknapp [REDACTED] [REDACTED] wife following [REDACTED] [REDACTED].

Also revealed: We reluctantly discuss a certain election...

Stories this week include:

• 'World's Grumpiest Old Woman 2015' stages naked protest after becoming fed up with everything.
• Bus driver finally admits abject hatred of passengers.
• Bespoke private offices double as public toilet.
• Sex act on nature trail sets evolution back by approximately 65 million years.

Also revealed: Alex reveals his failed career as a magician...

Stories this week include:

• Well-endowed fleas begin reign of terror across South East London.
• Police finally crack Travel Cluedo theft.
• Man finds Holland-on-Sea deserted with not a Pokemon in sight.
• Eight-year-old fails to secure financial backs despite identifying emerging marketing opportunities.

Also revealed: We go on pilgrimage...

Stories this week include:

• Croydon cat killer film 'Operation Takehe' set for London-wide release.
• Highly skilled regiment of weaponised monkeys manages to steal nuclear codes.
• Footballer stands firm on proposed legal action.
• Unlucky Russian scientist watches awkward situation get significantly worse.

Also revealed: We launch the campaign for the 'Redistribution of Bank Holidays'...