Stories this week include:

• Band of Dickensian characters stage art heist hoax.
• Cuts to defence budget starts to bite.
• Controversial politician provokes outrage by failing to mention Hitler during interview.
• Skin flute 'not a real instrument' claims orchestra.

Also revealed: Rob goes to a concert...

Stories this week include:

• Ricky Gervais refuses to speak out against (or in favour of) the Croydon Cat Killer.
• Family day out ruined by sh*tty trampoline.
• Jammie dodgers make off with £10,000 worth of biscuits.
• Couple has passports confiscated for their own safety.

Also revealed: We launch an ill-conceived and idiotic competition...

Stories this week include:

• Epping Forest police constable finally begins to justify salary.
• South Norwood Animal Rescue and Liberty (SNARL) continue push for global domination.
• McDonald's customer politely asked to leave after dining with axe.
• 'Celebrity' fabricates invasion of privacy story to raise funds for second pair of Bermuda shorts.

Also revealed: We discuss the upper age bracket to have your picture taken with a Shetland pony...

Stories this week include:

• Militant group annexes Swanage and forms breakaway state.
• Isolated farmer continues to lose grip on reality amongst her chickens.
• Bristol residential claims to have had vision of infamous 'Hand of God' goal.
• Outgoing journalist decides to mock local dialect in final article.

Also revealed: We make light of the impending collapse of capitalism.

Stories this week include:

• Intelligent parrot outwits captor.
• Violence erupts at Easter fun day after the hot cross buns run out.
• Covert chip shop reviewer breaks cover.
• All the items to make your party go off with a bang found in local canal.

Also revealed: We return to Derby, just around lunchtime...

Stories this week include:

• Man resorts to violence after listening to the Archers.
• The homeless to be given reconditioned laptops to aid property search.
• Gang of pensioners in the picture for suspicious swan murders.
• Incomprehensible man believed to have normal sized hands.

Also revealed: We discuss the plays of Arthur Miller and something about Donald Trump...

Stories this week include:

• Supermarket forced to clarify that their 'Bag for Life' cannot resurrect the dead.
• Woman outraged at 'vile' mannequin that can clearly be seen not wearing a watch.
• RSPCA investigate picture of smoking magpie just for something to do.
• Anonymous review of public toilet makes strange reference to 'sticky' facilities.

Also revealed: The derogatory comments about the suspected career choices of our listeners continue...

Stories this week include:

• Concerned shopper decides to 'water' frozen vegetables.
• Goose shot dead in drive-by sparks nationwide manhunt.
• Extensive RSPCA investigation into cat murders reveals nothing of interest.
• Ironically named charity shop discovered to be selling live hand grenade.

Also revealed: The Woodland Murder Detectives make an unwelcome return...

Stories this week include:

• Lonely bachelor living vicariously through cat manages to entice fox into grubby world.
• Monkey with drink problem purchased by Eynsford based wildlife centre.
• Man carrying child in fancy dress spotted walking along westbound carriageway of M60.
• Woman fails to identify brand of chicken and mushroom slice that led to vicious altercation.

Also revealed: Alex learns of the mystical town of Uttoxeter...

Stories this week include:

• Martin Clunes to star as the notorious Cat Ripper in six-part dramatisation.
• Bovidae cash and carry opens in North Wales.
• Wildlife centre admits more animals appear to have escaped following audit.
• Woman mistakes birdsong for multiple gun shots.

Also revealed: We immerse ourselves in the world of Geoffspresso...