Let's Talk About Sex, Really

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What can a horse teach us about love, relationships — and ourselves?

In this episode of Let’s Talk About Sex, Really, Dr. Alisa Kriegel is joined by author Erin O’Malley, whose book The Brat and the Bullfighter tells the intertwined story of Erin and Artie, a Lusitano horse who came into her life after a journey of his own.

Erin describes the book as a hybrid memoir — the story of two beings who both knew what it was like to be moved from place to place without much choice, and who ultimately found something in one another: stability, connection and a sense of home.

What begins as a conversation about horses soon becomes something much bigger.

Alisa and Erin talk about the relationships that challenge us, the importance of staying curious and continuing to evolve, and what happens when another being becomes a mirror for parts of ourselves we haven't fully understood yet.

They explore Erin’s experience growing up as an Army brat, feeling like an outsider, finding community, the importance of female friendships, and the rare connections — with people or animals — that make us feel truly seen.

And, of course, they talk about horses!

Erin shares what years with Artie have taught her about being present and authentic, giving others grace, letting go of frustration, and listening to what is being communicated even when no words are spoken.
Because sometimes the relationships that change us most aren't necessarily the ones we expected.

Learn more about Erin O’Malley and The Brat and the Bullfighter:
Erin O’Malley — Official Website: https://erinomalleyauthor.com/

🎙️ Let’s Talk About Sex, Really
Hosted by Dr. Alisa Kriegel

📖 From Sexless Marriage to Sex Goddess: A Memoir
Learn more about Alisa, her book and the podcast at www.alisakriegel.com

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A new chapter of Let’s Talk About Sex, Really begins with author Lisa Cheek, joining Dr. Alisa Kriegel for the first in a new series of conversations with special guests.

Lisa is the author of Sit, Cinderella, Sit and The Big Day, two memoirs exploring very different chapters of her life — from being told at 45 that she had aged out of her career as a Hollywood film editor and unexpectedly finding herself working in China, to getting married for the first time at 49 and looking back at the relationships, family dynamics and experiences that shaped the woman she had become.

In this warm and candid conversation, Alisa and Lisa talk about aging and identity, the pressure women feel to follow a prescribed timeline, dating and marriage, the expectations we bring into relationships, and what can change when we finally become comfortable enough in our own skin to know what — and who — is right for us.

They also explore the unexpected experiences that can change the way we see ourselves and others, why relationships can teach us so much about who we are, and the freedom that comes from letting go of the checklist and choosing qualities like kindness, safety and being genuinely loved for who you are.

Ultimately, it’s a conversation about continuing to grow — at every age — and embracing life as an adventure while becoming more fully ourselves along the way.

About Lisa Cheek
Lisa Cheek is the author of Sit, Cinderella, Sit and The Big Day. Find Lisa, her books, social channels and her Substack, One Minute Thoughts from a Pink Head, on her website:
www.lisacheek.com

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In this episode, Dr. Alisa Kriegel opens up a candid and empowering conversation about sexuality in midlife and beyond. Challenging the widespread belief that sex declines with age, she shares both research and personal experience to show that desire, intimacy, and pleasure can continue—and even deepen—later in life.

Drawing from her own journey after a 25-year sexless marriage, Dr. Kriegel explores how many women in their 40s and 50s enter a period of rediscovery, prioritizing their own needs and redefining what pleasure looks like. She also addresses common physical changes, including vaginal dryness and erectile dysfunction, emphasizing that these are manageable with the right tools—from lubricants and moisturizers to medical support.

The episode highlights the importance of communication, self-exploration, and expanding the definition of sex beyond penetration. With insights from research on “magnificent sex” and real-life examples, Dr. Kriegel reframes aging as an opportunity for deeper connection, creativity, and fulfillment.

Because great sex isn’t about age—it’s about mindset, communication, and curiosity.

✨ Key Takeaways

• Sexual pleasure does not expire with age—it evolves
• Pain is common—but not normal or necessary
• Moisture + lubrication = comfort + confidence
• Expanding your definition of sex leads to more fulfilling experiences

Key Resources from This Episode

📚 Must-Read

• Magnificent Sex: Lessons from Extraordinary Lovers, 2020,                             by Peggy Kleinplatz
  Research-backed insights showing that deeply fulfilling sex often improves with age—and is rooted in connection, not performance.

💧 Vaginal Health (Dryness & Comfort)

Revaree Vaginal Moisturizer, from Bonafide
Hyaluronic acid insert that restores moisture and reduces pain during sex.

Good Clean Love Restore Vaginal Gel ·
pH-balanced moisturizing gel that supports hydration and vaginal health.

• Hyaluronic acid–based moisturizers are widely recommended for menopause-related dryness and tissue repair. 

💦 Lubricants (For Comfort During Sex)

Look for water- or silicone-based lubricants to prevent micro-tears and improve comfort.

Please support and follow on instagram at Let'sTalkAboutSex__Really 🧡

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In this short episode, Alisa reflects on something simple that can bring couples closer: reading together.

After a recent book event where a couple shared that they had been reading her memoir aloud to each other, Alisa began thinking about the quiet intimacy that can grow from sharing words on a page. Reading together invites conversation, curiosity, and connection — without pressure.

It’s a small practice that can open the door to deeper understanding and meaningful dialogue.

Sometimes the simplest rituals create the most powerful moments of connection.

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Is your relationship feeling more like a "roommate" dynamic than a romantic one? You aren’t alone. Statistics show that 25-40% of couples find themselves in a sexless cycle—but understanding why is the first step toward reconnection.

In this episode:

 Dr. Alisa Kriegel explores the psychological and physiological layers of intimacy. Moving beyond the "performance pressure" of holidays like Valentine’s Day, she breaks down the science of why desire disappears and, more importantly, how to bring it back safely.

Key highlights include:

• The Dual Control Model: Understanding your "gas pedal" and your "brakes" (and why hitting the gas doesn't work if the brakes are still on).
• Co-Regulation: How to use Polyvagal theory to create a sense of safety and calm with your partner.
• Bridging Activities: Practical, non-sexual ways to rebuild safety and intimacy without the pressure of "performance."
• The 9-Second Rule: Two simple exercises you can do tonight to synchronize your nervous systems and lower stress.

Whether you are navigating a medical change, a libido mismatch, or years of silence, this episode offers a compassionate, shame-free roadmap back to connection.

Get my book HERE

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I'm back from a brief hiatus during which time my memoir, "From Sexless Marriage To Sex Goddess," launched. I struggled before publishing, and even after, with the idea that psychologists aren't supposed to do this: I'm not supposed to be vulnerable or honest about my life. 

In many ways, this is true for most of us. We're rarely encouraged or taught to be vulnerable. Yet, this is the first step to connection. 

There are too many people struggling with sexless relationships and their own shame or issues around sex. Sharing my story, a story that is rarely spoken out loud, needs to be heard. I realized that I needed to get real to heal, not just myself, but others. “We’re trained to stay out of the story — but sometimes the story is the work.

This episode is an invitation, and hopefully an inspiration to take a step toward change, to tell your story. Even if you're told you aren't supposed to.🧡

Read my story:  "From Sexless Marriage to Sex Goddess, A Memoir"

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In this episode, Dr. Alisa shares her recommendations for natural products to address moisture and dryness issues, focusing on two of her favorite brands Medicine Mama and Foria.  Listen in to learn about common misconceptions about dryness and the importance of lubrication during sex and using lubricants for a positive sexual experience. She shares various products that she has on repeat including arousal oils and intimacy melts.  To note: she is not being paid for her promotion, although samples are always welcome 😉

Dr. Alisa shares her passion for promoting products that enhance pleasure and connection, while always encouraging the importance of open conversations about sex!

Follow her on Instagram for more information and ideas!

Let's Talk About Sex, Really

If you have a question or topic you'd like her to address, please DM her or email her through her website:

https://alisakriegel.com

Thank you!

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In today's podcast, Dr. Alisa discusses the concept of sex positivity and its importance in your personal life, romantic relationships and in society as we move away from a puritanical narrative to a more open-minded approach. Listen in to learn more about open communication, boundaries, and consent in relationships. She also shares  her personal journey which lead to her upcoming memoir: "From Sexless Marriage to Sex Goddess." 

Dr. Alisa encourages listeners to embrace and celebrate their sexuality through self-exploration and various resources, while promoting a sex-positive viewpoint that emphasizes self-awareness, acceptance of individual differences, and the importance of pleasure and consent.

Resources in this Podcast

Emily Nagoski, Come as You are

Esther Perel, Where Do We Begin

Wanderlust Mindful Intimacy Cards

Find more info about me and links for my book and podcast at:

https://alisakriegel.com

Let's Talk About Sex, Really / Instagram

Alisa Kriegel Author / Instagram

My Youtube Channel 

Thank you for listening!

Xxx

Dr. Alisa

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In this episode, Dr. Alisa Kriegel discusses and defines the hormonal changes of perimenopause and menopause, along with their impact on various physical and emotional symptoms. She makes recommendations for maintaining sexual health during this period, and shares a personal experience which influenced how her gynecologist now talks to patients in peri-menopause regarding fertility! 

Listen in for insights on hormone replacement therapy, the importance of consulting specialized hormone doctors, and the natural changes in sexuality that both men and women experience with age.

Whether you may be going through this in your life or your partner is, this is an important conversation to understand the impact of these changes and how to minimize their effect on your life!

Resources from this episode:

https://drjengunter.com

https://www.heytabu.com/pages/about

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/02/01/magazine/menopause-hot-flashes-hormone-therapy.html?unlocked_article_code=1.I08.tRum.VdlDiBKYgnT6&smid=url-share

https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/746824/dare-i-say-it-by-naomi-watts/

Find more info about me and links for my book and podcast at:

https://alisakriegel.com

Let's Talk About Sex, Really / Instagram

Alisa Kriegel Author / Instagram

My Youtube Channel 

Thank you for listening!

Xxx

Dr. Alisa

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This is my first movie/show review about a new show that has been getting a lot of buzz lately. I've been seeing sexy posters all over NYC for this new FX limited series starring Michelle Williams and the cover of NY Magazine touted it as the "kinkiest show on TV."  So, is it? Does it live up to the hype.  How kinky is it? I had to see for myself. And after a weekend binge I'm here to give you the lowdown.