liberated

Calum Marshall has Combined-Type ADHD, and is an ADHD Coach who's passionate about helping people stop fighting their minds and start working with them.

Calum helps adults with ADHD build the foundations that make life easier: regulation, structure, discipline, purpose, and self-belief, so they can create sustainable change and become the person they know they're capable of being.

connect with Calum

W: growingwithcalum.au

I: @growingwithcalum

F: Growing with Calum

~

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Calum Marshall has worn a lot of masks: the promoter, the entertainer, the guy who had it together.. and underneath all of it was a kid who grew up with a complicated, fractured relationship with his dad, spent years numbing out in the club scene, and eventually found his way to boxing and ADHD coaching as the two things that finally gave him somewhere to put all that energy. in this episode we get into what it actually costs to live multiple versions of yourself, what ADHD really is beneath the diagnosis, how boxing became a doorway to emotional release and self-respect, and what happens when you finally stop running and start feeling. raw, real, and worth every minute. enjoy 💙

what we explored this episode

00:00 from club promoter to coach

04:53 the cost of living multiple lives

09:11 what love and genuine acceptance actually feel like

13:53 why understanding your emotions is the beginning of everything

19:29 the lonely kid and what got buried early

24:41 what ADHD actually is beneath the label and why most people get it wrong

29:49 unhooking your identity from achievement

39:17 the hardest and most necessary thing for an ADHD brain

44:39 gratitude as a practice not a platitude

50:36 boxing as release, discipline and proof of what you're capable of

56:44 what liberation looks like for Cal

some takeaways

• wearing multiple masks for multiple audiences is exhausting in ways that don't show up until everything stops

• ADHD is not a deficit — it is a different operating system that conventional structures were never built for

• the loneliness of childhood gets stored in the body and shows up in adult patterns until it is finally seen and felt

• unhooking your identity from achievement doesn't mean abandoning ambition — it means no longer needing the result to feel okay

• slowing down is not the opposite of momentum for an ADHD brain — it is the prerequisite for genuine clarity and direction

• boxing, movement, and physical discipline can be one of the most direct pathways to emotional regulation and self-respect for men who don't yet have the language for their feelings

• gratitude is not a bypass — it is what becomes available when you stop running long enough to actually look at what is here

• liberation is awareness — catching the pattern, seeing the mask, and choosing differently in that moment

  
  

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david 💙

most of us live entirely in our heads. it works.. right up until the day it stops working. this episode is different. there is no story, no framework, no research breakdown. just a 25 minute guided NSDR practice - non-sleep deep rest, also known as yoga nidra - designed specifically to rebuild the one skill that everything else in healing sits on top of: the ability to feel your own body from the inside. scientists call it interoception. it is the foundation of emotional regulation, knowing what you need, and catching stress before it catches you. do not listen to this while driving. find somewhere you can lie down safely, put your phone on do not disturb, and give it the full twenty minutes. the pauses are the practice. enjoy 💙

what this practice covers

00:00 what NSDR is and why the pauses are the practice

01:14 the practice begins (settling and arriving)

22:00 closing and returning

a note on this practice

this is not a relaxation track, although you will probably feel relaxed. what it is actually doing is training interoception (the ability to sense and interpret what is happening inside your body). most of us lost this somewhere along the way. living in your head is a survival strategy.. it works until it doesn't.

nothing is an answer. if you go to a part of your body and feel nothing at all, that is real information. do not manufacture a sensation. notice the nothing and move on.

stay awake if you can. and if you drift off, that is fine too. your body took what it needed.

come back to this practice whenever you need it. every time you do it, you get better at feeling your body, and everything else in your life is downstream of that.

what is NSDR?

non-sleep deep rest is a science-backed protocol developed from the ancient practice of yoga nidra. it uses guided body awareness and breath to bring the brain into a theta-dominant state - the same brainwave state associated with deep learning, subconscious reprogramming, and nervous system recovery - without requiring you to fall fully asleep.

research from Stanford neuroscientist Dr Andrew Huberman and others has shown that regular NSDR practice can restore dopamine levels, improve cognitive performance, accelerate motor learning, and support nervous system regulation. it is one of the highest return-on-time practices available.

→ learn more about NSDR and the neuroscience behind it: hubermanlab.com→ learn more about yoga nidra and interoception: www.irest.org→ the science of interoception: www.bodymindcentre.com.au

connect with me

👉take the root cause audit

free five minute assessment - answer a few honest questions about what's showing up in your life right now. i'll personally review your responses and send you back a detailed breakdown of the specific emotional pattern driving your behaviour within 48 hours. no call and no pitch. just clarity on what's actually keeping you stuck.

👉free resources

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david 💙

Jasmine Batra is an entrepreneur and Chief Catalyst who has spent nearly two decades building businesses, backing founders and connecting innovation across Australia and India.

After moving to Australia with a suitcase, ambition and no established network, Jasmine went on to co-found what is now one of the longest standing independent digital marketing agencies.

She also launched The Big LEAP, a cross-border platform helping startups navigate new markets, cultures and commercial opportunities.

Her work sits at the intersection of mindset, leadership and growth. She is particularly interested in what enables people to take bold action before they feel fully ready, adapt when the original plan stops working and keep moving when progress is uncertain.

Jasmine draws on her own experience as a first-generation migrant, founder and advisor to explore resilience, self-belief, cultural intelligence and the habits that turn ideas into momentum.

Known for combining practical strategy with honest reflection, she brings a grounded perspective on ambition, reinvention and the courage required to build something meaningful.

connect with Jasmine

→ jasminebatra.com 

~

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Jasmine Batra arrived in Australia 22 years ago with an MBA, a background in tech and fintech, and a vision of what her life could look like. what followed was rejection after rejection, a call centre job selling credit cards, three promotions in six months, a redundancy, and eventually the founding of Arrow Digital — one of Australia's leading digital growth agencies, going strong since 2007 with clients including Telstra and the Queensland Government. in this conversation we get into the silent that tax migrants pay, what it actually takes to shift from survival mode to building something meaningful, how frustration became the fuel behind the Big Leap Accelerator, the moment a client went into liquidation and $28,000 disappeared overnight, and what liberation really means when you've spent years proving yourself to a world that wasn't always ready to see you. warm, honest, and full of wisdom. enjoy 💙

what we explored this episode

00:00 arriving in australia and hitting rejection immediately

02:27 decoding a new culture, new language and unsaid rules

05:33 from entitlement to putting in the hard yards

08:12 cold calling credit cards and the skills it built

10:54 connecting the dots in reverse

14:08 necessity as the mother of invention

16:55 the rise of the web and writing your own job description

18:45 the redundancy that became the propeller

22:03 how migrant frustration becomes entrepreneurial fuel

25:39 bridging australia and india through skills not just markets

29:27 the inner challenges of looking different, sounding different and still belonging

34:06 loosening the grip of the ego and shifting from entitlement to empathy

38:12 gratitude journaling, meditation and quieting the reptilian brain

40:00 your difference is your strength (from proving to being secure)

41:22 the $28,000 liquidation letter and what leadership required in that moment

46:02 finding optimism when the switch doesn't come automatically

49:21 richard branson and getting out of your own head

52:05 letting go of control and trusting something bigger

54:27 what liberation means to Jasmine

connect with me

👉take the root cause audit

free five minute assessment - answer a few honest questions about what's showing up in your life right now. i'll personally review your responses and send you back a detailed breakdown of the specific emotional pattern driving your behaviour within 48 hours. no call and no pitch. just clarity on what's actually keeping you stuck.

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david 💙

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for most of my life i thought i was broken. no matter how many books i read, therapy sessions i sat through, or affirmations i wrote in my journal, i kept repeating the same patterns. shame, scarcity, never feeling enough, collapsing after every achievement. i was aware of all of it. i could name it, trace it, explain it and yet still it kept running. in this episode i get into what i finally understood.. that none of it was a character flaw. it was a program installed before i had any say in the matter, by parents who inherited it from their parents. i break down what the subconscious actually is in real scientific terms, why affirmations and positive thinking alone will never be enough to change it and a clear practical framework for how to actually begin reprogramming it. enjoy 💙

what we explored this episode

00:00 welcome welcome!

01:24 the patterns that kept running despite years of awareness and therapy

05:56 what actually shifted

08:39 what the subconscious actually is (scientifically explained)

10:24 why you live in loops

13:54 why two people in identical circumstances experience completely different realities

17:24 how to consciously hack dopamine

19:54 why you can't make wise decisions when triggered

22:24 your heart brain and gut brain

21:54 the missing piece that most personal development culture leaves out

27:24 where the programs come from

31:24 why “the secret” doesn’t work

34:24 ancient wisdom on the subconscious

37:24 seven practical steps to begin reprogramming your subconscious

show notes — research references and thought leaders

Bruce Lipton — author of The Biology of Belief. Children operate in theta brainwaves from birth to age seven, absorbing their environment as subconscious truth without any critical filter. → www.brucelipton.com

Bessel van der Kolk — author of The Body Keeps the Score. Suppressed emotion is encoded in the body's tissue and fascia — the layer most personal development culture ignores. → www.besselvanderkolk.com

Gay Hendricks — author of The Big Leap. The upper limit problem: the nervous system sabotages progress beyond the familiar threshold of success, love, and freedom. → www.hendricks.com

David Bayer — mindset teacher. Referenced for the value and limits of conscious thought work in subconscious reprogramming. → www.davidbayer.com

HeartMath Institute — research on vagal tone and heart rate variability. A toned vagus nerve creates the conditions under which new programming can land and take root. → www.heartmath.org

Emon on the Brain — referenced for the neuroscientific framework of the subconscious as a network of brain systems.

Vedic tradition — samskaras — deep impressions stored in the subtle body. An ancient description of what neuroscience now calls implicit memory and somatic storage.

Yoga Nidra — ancient practice accessing theta brainwaves to install new intention directly into the subconscious.

Buddhism — vasanas — latent tendencies dissolved through present-moment awareness, not force.

Indigenous and shamanic traditions — healing through altered states, ceremony, community, and somatic experience. The body is always central.

connect with me

👉take the root cause audit

free five minute assessment - answer a few honest questions about what's showing up in your life right now. i'll personally review your responses and send you back a detailed breakdown of the specific emotional pattern driving your behaviour within 48 hours. no call and no pitch. just clarity on what's actually keeping you stuck.

👉free resources

practical tools, guided practices and resources to help you create more clarity, confidence and alignment - all 100% free. no catch - just high-impact support for high performers & purpose-driven humans ready to grow. enjoy! 

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david 💙

Kate Helder is a speaker, mentor and social entrepreneur whose work explores what it means to navigate life's transitions with greater clarity, resilience and self-compassion. After more than three decades in private enterprise, a deeply personal journey of healing and self-discovery led her in a very different direction—one centred on emotional wellbeing, human connection and practical tools that help people reconnect with themselves.

Kate is the Managing Director and co-founder of the Mind Heart Connect Foundation, a for-purpose organisation providing evidence-based wellbeing training for frontline professionals supporting traumatised communities. Through her mentoring framework, Inner Light Alchemy, alongside her speaking and writing, she invites people to rediscover their own inner wisdom, showing that meaningful change doesn't always require dramatic reinvention, often it begins with a single moment of awareness.

connect with Kate

Kate’s website: www.katehelder.com 

Mind Heart Connect Foundation: www.mindheartconnect.org

~

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Kate Helder spent years in the corporate world — fashion, family business, flying business class and numbing what she couldn't explain. then at 3am in a hotel room in Florence, she heard something that stopped her in her tracks. she didn't know what she was meant to be doing. she just knew she had to stop doing what she was doing. in this episode Kate shares what it actually took to walk away from a successful life that felt empty, how she found her way to EFT tapping through a friend who started tapping on her kitchen bench, the extraordinary story of Glenis in the Kimberley whose 20 years of grief began to lift through six months of clinical tapping, and what her mother's final words revealed about what it actually means to be liberated. enjoy 💙

what we explored this episode

00:00 success, partying and crumbling on the inside

02:08 the 3am voice in Florence that changed everything

05:19 sobbing for three days “i don't know what i'm meant to be doing”

08:36 navigating family disappointment and finding the courage to leave anyway

10:37 following the crumbs when you don't know where they lead

15:09 where inner trust actually comes from

17:59 from nutrition to sales to a friend tapping

21:10 the birth of Mind Heart Connect Foundation

23:55 how Dr Joe Dispenza ended up at their inaugural event

26:43 what reactivity actually looked like before tapping

28:59 the grace process

30:53 why forgiveness isn't about saying what happened was okay

33:32 how tapping is different to talk therapy

37:26 a real example of tap and breathe in crisis

39:46 the accumulative effect of tapping hourly

40:44 a live guided tap and breathe session (try it with us)

43:20 over 600 frontline workers trained

44:32 Glenis, Derby and Mothers of Angels

49:43 what happens when tapping discharges emotional charge from the body

54:00 taking signals from the body seriously (before it gets louder)

56:55 self-nourishment is not selfish (it's the whole point)

01:00:54 what liberation means to Kate (and what her mother said before she passed)

connect with me

👉take the root cause audit

free five minute assessment - answer a few honest questions about what's showing up in your life right now. i'll personally review your responses and send you back a detailed breakdown of the specific emotional pattern driving your behaviour within 48 hours. no call and no pitch. just clarity on what's actually keeping you stuck.

👉free resources

practical tools, guided practices and resources to help you create more clarity, confidence and alignment - all 100% free. no catch - just high-impact support for high performers & purpose-driven humans ready to grow. enjoy! 

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david 💙

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there have been moments in my life where i knew something was wrong before i could explain why. maybe it was a job that looked perfect on paper and then i felt a tightness in my chest the moment i said yes. a music festival i'd already decided not to attend, where my body screamed no and i overrode it anyway. relationships and business decisions where my mind said yes and my body had already voted no. in this episode i get into what was actually happening in those moments and why it wasn't anxiety or irrationality. it was intelligence! your body has been reading the room, scanning for truth, tracking alignment and sending you signals your entire life. this episode is about learning to listen. enjoy 💙

what we explored this episode

00:00 welcome welcome!

01:24 the music festival and other decisions my body knew

04:56 what interoception actually is

07:51 why the nervous system scans for safety and threat

10:24 ancient wisdom on the body as intelligence

13:54 when the signal gets corrupted

17:11 technology and catastrophic news cycles

19:24 why familiar can feel safe even when it's harmful

21:54 regulation isn't about being zen

26:19 expansion versus contraction

29:24 the felt sense practice and how to begin developing this capacity

32:43 using the body as a lie detector

show notes — research references and thought leaders

Antonio Damasio — author of Descartes' Error. The somatic marker hypothesis: the body generates emotional signals that guide decision-making before conscious reasoning kicks in. People with damage to the brain areas that process these signals become profoundly impaired at making good decisions even when rational faculties remain intact.

Stephen Porges — developer of Polyvagal Theory. Neuroception: the autonomic nervous system's unconscious scanning of the environment for cues of safety or danger, operating faster than conscious perception. → www.stephenporges.com

Candace Pert — author of Molecules of Emotion. Neuropeptides and their receptors are found throughout the body including the gut, immune system, and fascia. Emotion is a whole-body event, not a brain event alone.

Eugene Gendlin — developer of the Felt Sense practice. A structured method for accessing the body's knowing on a specific question or situation, later integrated into somatic and therapeutic modalities.

Hawaiian tradition — na'au — the seat of intelligence, intuition, and deep knowing. In Hawaiian tradition wisdom comes from the gut, not the head.

Aboriginal Australian tradition — the body and country are inseparable. Felt sense and tracking sensation in the land and body is a form of knowing that predates rational analysis.

Hinduism and Ayurveda — prana — the life force moving through the body's energy channels. Tuning into its movement or blockage reveals information about one's state, direction, and alignment.

Stoicism — Marcus Aurelius and Epictetus — attending to impressions before judgment, and distinguishing between what is up to us and what is not. The inner signal is always ours to attend to.

connect with me

👉take the root cause audit

free five minute assessment - answer a few honest questions about what's showing up in your life right now. i'll personally review your responses and send you back a detailed breakdown of the specific emotional pattern driving your behaviour within 48 hours. no call and no pitch. just clarity on what's actually keeping you stuck.

👉free resources

practical tools, guided practices and resources to help you create more clarity, confidence and alignment - all 100% free. no catch - just high-impact support for high performers & purpose-driven humans ready to grow. enjoy! 

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david 💙

Tim Thomas is a former Special Forces Commando who teaches people how to switch off stress and take back control of their energy using their breath. After battling PTSD, addiction and chronic exhaustion, he discovered the off-switch wasn’t out there, it was already inside him. Now he helps people sleep better, feel more, and reconnect with themselves. Because most people aren’t just tired…they’ve forgotten how to feel human.

connect with Tim + Breathwork in Bed

App - iOS: https://apps.apple.com/app/apple-store/id6575362285?pt=127061224&ct=BIB50K&mt=8

App - Android:

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.breathworkinbed.bibsleepapp20&hl=en

Website & Socials

https://breathworkinbed.com.au/ 

https://www.instagram.com/breathworkinbed/ 

https://www.facebook.com/breathworkinbed 

https://www.tiktok.com/@breathworkinbed 

https://www.linkedin.com/in/bettersleepbetterworld/

~

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Tim Thomas left home at 17 to work on remote cattle stations, became a professional fighter in Australia's early MMA scene, and joined the special forces after the Bali bombings. he survived a near fatal ambush in Afghanistan and a shark attack off the coast of Sydney. but the war zone that nearly broke him wasn't overseas. it was the divorce that followed, the 2am nights on his parents' couch and the stress that had taken over his mind. in this episode Tim shares how one breath, repeated finger by finger, pulled him back from the edge, what breathwork actually does to the nervous system that thinking cannot and his concept of becoming an energetic millionaire instead of someone living off twenty cents. we even do a live breathwork exercise together. enjoy 💙

what we explored this episode

00:00 from cattle stations to special forces

01:29 surviving an ambush in Afghanistan 

06:48 the divorce and warzone of the mind

09:08 finger by finger, breath by breath

11:39 two golden windows that shape your entire day

14:10 why breathwork outranks the thinking mind

16:46 the permanency test

19:23 a live guided breathwork exercise

24:19 why we look outside ourselves for what was always inside

27:10 the energetic millionaire mindset

32:27 how breathwork helped process shame

35:52 isolation is the real pain

41:11 the shark attack and what near-death taught him about connection

50:55 what liberation means to Tim after everything he has survived

connect with me

👉take the root cause audit

free five minute assessment - answer a few honest questions about what's showing up in your life right now. i'll personally review your responses and send you back a detailed breakdown of the specific emotional pattern driving your behaviour within 48 hours. no call and no pitch. just clarity on what's actually keeping you stuck.

👉free resources

practical tools, guided practices and resources to help you create more clarity, confidence and alignment - all 100% free. no catch - just high-impact support for high performers & purpose-driven humans ready to grow. enjoy! 

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david 💙

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i had a job, good salary and relationship and by every conventional measure my life looked fine. and yet underneath all of it i felt completely frozen internally. not necessarily sad but just flat, disconnected and like i was watching my own life happen from slightly outside it. there was no obvious crisis to point to, which made it almost impossible to name or justify. in this episode, i get into the subtle and insidious experience of feeling stuck when nothing is technically going wrong, what is actually happening in your nervous system, why it hides so easily behind a life that looks like it's working and also a gentle, practical path to begin coming out of it. enjoy 💙

what we explored this episode

00:00 the job, salary and relationship

03:30 the guilt of feeling stuck when nothing is wrong

06:45 numbing the stuckness 

10:07 what stuckness actually is

13:00 why high functioning people are so good at masking

15:45 when you can't even name what you're feeling

17:00 the real cost of staying frozen 

18:52 why you can't force your way out of freeze

20:00 a gentle six step path back to safety and presence

24:00 coming back online

show notes — research references and thought leaders

Stephen Porges — developer of Polyvagal Theory. The dorsal vagal state produces immobilisation and disconnection when fight or flight isn't available or useful. → www.stephenporges.com

Peter Levine — founder of Somatic Experiencing. Freeze is a last-resort survival strategy, meant to be temporary. Coming out of it happens through titration — small, gradual increments. → www.somaticexperiencing.com

Bessel van der Kolk — author of The Body Keeps the Score. The body responds to the present as if it carries the danger of unresolved past experiences. → www.besselvanderkolk.com

Alexithymia — difficulty identifying and describing one's own emotional states, common in those raised in environments where emotional expression was discouraged or unsafe.

Allostatic load research — chronic, sustained pressure over years can dysregulate the body's stress systems, eventually tipping into shutdown as a form of self protection.

connect with me

👉take the root cause audit

free five minute assessment - answer a few honest questions about what's showing up in your life right now. i'll personally review your responses and send you back a detailed breakdown of the specific emotional pattern driving your behaviour within 48 hours. no call and no pitch. just clarity on what's actually keeping you stuck.

👉free resources

practical tools, guided practices and resources to help you create more clarity, confidence and alignment - all 100% free. no catch - just high-impact support for high performers & purpose-driven humans ready to grow. enjoy! 

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if you’re interested in coaching programs and more support.

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david 💙

Dr. Carlo Blanco is an Anxiety Specialist who works with high-level executives, founders, and leaders to eliminate the internal pressure that success often hides. Through his work and his podcast, The Private Boardroom, he helps high performers gain control over their mind, break patterns of overthinking, and finally experience the freedom their success was supposed to give them.

connect with Dr. Carlo

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carloblanco/ 

Podcast: The Private Boardoom (available on all podcast platforms)

~

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Dr Carlo works privately with CEOs, founders and senior executives to eliminate anxiety without medication. he has spent over 12 years across psychology, life coaching and hypnosis and he developed his own panic attacks and anxiety during his doctorate, when neither medication nor conventional therapy gave him real relief. in this episode we get into why the most successful people on the planet are often the last to admit something is wrong, why power has nothing to do with money or status, what mind programming actually is and why hypnosis worked where everything else failed him, and what it really means to be liberated. this one is honest, generous and genuinely useful. enjoy 💙

what we explored this episode

00:00 why leaders hide their pain and self medicate instead of seeking help

10:53 the shame of breaking down internally

15:18 why men talk numbers and sports instead of feelings

15:56 what power actually means

21:37 the repetitive thoughts running on a loop in your mind

24:22 the hundred million dollar client who still couldn't sleep

25:04 why medication + therapy didn't work for carlo’s panic attacks

26:22 falling in love with mind programming

34:57 turning his own hell into the foundation for serving others

38:33 why therapy and mindfulness often only scratch the surface

43:26 weight gain, divorce, addiction and illness

49:49 the pain has to outweigh the fear of change

46:04 what being truly liberated means to carlo

some takeaways

the most successful leaders are often the most isolated with their pain.power is not the car, the house, or the bank balance. 

if thoughts are rooted in fear and unworthiness, no amount of external success will make you feel free

vulnerability is often the very thing that built carlo's credibility and depth as a practitioner — he lived through what he now helps others heal

conventional therapy and medication have real value but often work at the surface. lasting change happens when you work directly with the subconscious mind's programming

the cost of ignoring the inner work is not hypothetical. it shows up as weight gain, broken relationships, addiction, and physical illness

people change when the pain of staying the same finally outweighs the discomfort of doing the work

nobody else can liberate you. not a partner, not a parent, not a coach. the work is yours, and the power has always been within you

connect with me

👉take the root cause audit

free five minute assessment - answer a few honest questions about what's showing up in your life right now. i'll personally review your responses and send you back a detailed breakdown of the specific emotional pattern driving your behaviour within 48 hours. no call and no pitch. just clarity on what's actually keeping you stuck.

👉free resources

practical tools, guided practices and resources to help you create more clarity, confidence and alignment - all 100% free. no catch - just high-impact support for high performers & purpose-driven humans ready to grow. enjoy! 

👉need more support?

if you’re interested in coaching programs and more support.

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lots of love,

david 💙

📺watch and subscribe on youtube

have you ever left a relationship, a job or a city and somehow ended up in the exact same situation with a different face? same dynamic, same feeling and the same damn ceiling. in this episode i get into why that happens and what it actually means. nothing is wrong with you and you don’t have bad luck - your old wounds resurface (again and again) until you finally turn around and face them. i share my own deepest wound, the self-abandonment pattern that followed me through workplaces, relationships, family and my own internal dialogue, and what it took to finally break the cycle. as always, grounded in science, trauma research and real practical steps you can take. enjoy 💙

what we explored this episode

00:00 welcome welcome!

01:24 why your life keeps repeating itself

03:40 my self-abandonment wound

08:34 the common thread beneath it all

11:01 what a wound actually is

13:24 how wounds get stored in the body

16:54 why the same patterns keep finding you

20:24 the most common wounds and how they show up

24:24 why we unconsciously recreate familiar pain

26:54 why we don't remember the wound (we re-live it)

28:57 how to actually break the cycle (six practical steps)

36:02 nothing is wrong with you

some takeaways

knowing a wound cognitively is not the same as healing it.

a wound is a specific event in which an emotional need went unmet

the nervous system cannot distinguish between a past threat and a present one if the emotional residue is still stored in the body.

your external reality is always reflecting back what is still waiting to be healed internally. 

the most skipped and most necessary step in healing is grief

when the wound heals, the attraction changes. 

your patterns are not evidence that you are broken. they are evidence that healing is not yet complete. and some part of you is still trying to get there

references and thought leaders

Bruce Perry — The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog. Early adverse experiences shape the architecture of the nervous system. The brain is experience-dependent. → www.neurosequential.com

Bessel van der Kolk — The Body Keeps the Score. Wounds are encoded in the body's sensory motor systems, not just in narrative memory. → www.besselvanderkolk.com

Stephen Porges — Polyvagal Theory. The nervous system constantly scans for cues of safety or danger, far beneath conscious awareness. → www.stephenporges.com

Peter Levine — Somatic Experiencing. Titration and pendulation — healing happens in small doses, moving between activation and safety. → www.somaticexperiencing.com

Dan Siegel — implicit memory. Wounds surface not as clear recollections but as feelings, sensations, and automatic responses. → www.drdansiegel.com

Richard Schwartz — IFS, No Bad Parts. Parts carrying the wound's burden can be approached with curiosity and compassion, and the burden released. → www.ifs-institute.com

Parag Lokhande — grief as the price of love, and unspent love as the emotion beneath our deepest wounds. → www.metromunk.com.au

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