Life in Relationship

I Love My Shepherd 19 – Written in Iron Ink: Cancer in Ministry

Special Guests - Rev. John and Sharla Fitz

When Wait is a Four Letter Word

http://www.sharlafritz.com/2014/10/when-wait-is-a-four-letter-word-2/

God Loves the Word Wait

http://www.sharlafritz.com/2017/06/god-loves-word-wait/

Waiting for Diagnosis, waiting for treatment decisions, waiting for changes

The Cancer Wake up Call:

• the experiences of those around us

• the shock of cancer at your front door

• when many more years together may not be true

• life can change in a moment

Cancer and marriage:

• making sure your wife is well kissed each day

• all the things you take for granted and that drive you crazy

• attending to the tender mercies of each day

• remaining steadfast, even when that looks like stubborn

Things to do in the waiting:

• remember what God has done

• the difference of the posture of praise

• the positive what-if

• growing through it

Encouragement for other people:

• the understanding of experience with others who have been there

• the witness of imperfect health, particularly in ministry

• grace is louder in the weakness

How to respond to people to cancer:

• ministry of presence

• Phil's Friends - care packages for cancer https://philsfriends.org/

• send a card

• weekly checking in with the person battling cancer and the family

• offering a measure of flexibility

• someone to help go through drs visits and details

• financial help for out of pocket expenses

• prayers!

Encouraging Scripture:

John 11:25-26

Romans 8:28

1 Kings 17:7-23

John 16:33

John 14:27

John 11:1-44

He redeems everything.

ESV Bible translation - Copyright © 2001 by Crossway,

a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

All rights reserved.

ilovemyshepherd.com

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I Love My Shepherd 18 – Jesus in Everything: Pringles

New series – spiritual thinking about every day things

Christ is the Head of this House artwork on Pure Creative Joy

John 10:10

The How's It's Made that rocked Dave's world ;)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pVhkgYUgo0

2 Thessalonians 3:17

2 Corinthians 8:8

Where do you see Jesus in you every day life?

Taking ideas and requests at [email protected] ;)

Or share with us on social media (see below)

ESV Bible translation - Copyright © 2001 by Crossway,

a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

All rights reserved.

ilovemyshepherd.com

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCd0fe9BbadMkIZwWx-esd-g

Facebook - @ilovemyshepherd

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I Love My Shepherd 17 – The Truth about Mental Health

The Truth: We all have it.

https://www.nami.org/

US Health and Human Services site on mental health:

https://www.mentalhealth.gov/basics/what-is-mental-health/index.html

Repeat after me: Therapy is for wellness, not just for illness. ;)

The misunderstandings of:

1 Timothy 3:2-6

• the falsehood of “keeping it together”

Proverbs 22:6

• the falsehood of “teaching them right”

• beware of judging the parents around you or judging the children around you

• Remember the truth is true for your own child as well – we all have mental health.

• Removing the shame of children in need of services, treatment, or help of any kind

   

Break the stigma – 1 in 5 people report an issue with mental health

Deuteronomy 6:4-8

Share Hope, around the Word, with your children, with yourself, and with those around you.

ESV Bible translation - Copyright © 2001 by Crossway,

a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

All rights reserved.

ilovemyshepherd.com

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCd0fe9BbadMkIZwWx-esd-g

Facebook - @ilovemyshepherd

Twitter - @ilovemyshepherd

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I Love My Shepherd 16 – Written in Iron Ink: Infant Loss

Special Guests – Rev. Geoffrey and Genevieve Wagner

In Memory of Sebastian

2 Samuel 12:15-23

Who pastors the pastor and his family when they are in need?

• find a Father Confessor to be able to receive Christ's words of forgiveness from

• also find fellow pastors and people who will share the Word of Hope with you in trial

• pastor's wives and children also need people in the Body of Christ to support them

Helping your children process -

Older children giving space to be verbal and share

Younger children process through play

Grief and loss in your marriage -

• spouses will process differently

• people usually process in relation to their personality – internally process v externally process

• being tender toward the way your spouse processes grief differently than you

Treasuring things in our hearts -

Luke 2:19

• let your family know you are collecting up and valuing what they are saying and sharing as part of this experience

Impact of experience on others

• the loss of broken expectations

• the value of the support of the Body of Christ, the congregation and those in ministry around you

• know that everyone around you has their own story of loss and we all process differently

Impact on the ministry

• Satan likes darkness, so he likes struggle hidden

• when we reveal our struggle to others, people come out of the woodwork with their own

• death is real and imminent, but eternity is for us as believers also

• the Gospel promise is heard in the womb

• Don't hide your joy from those struggling or from those experiencing loss

• Grief is an individual process, no judgement please!

Romans 10:17 – faith comes by hearing

Isaiah 55:10

Psalm 130

Psalm 139

1 Thessalonians 4:13

ESV Bible translation - Copyright © 2001 by Crossway,

a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

All rights reserved.

ilovemyshepherd.com

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCd0fe9BbadMkIZwWx-esd-g

Facebook - @ilovemyshepherd

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I Love My Shepherd 15 – Building Genuine Relationship through Genuine Questions

Opening spiritual conversations through asking questions about things that matter -

Interesting blog on the origin of the Diogenes Laertius proverb/quote 

https://sententiaeantiquae.com/2016/05/15/two-ears-one-mouth-hunting-a-proverb-from-zeno-to-pauls-mom/

Churchless - https://www.amazon.com/Churchless-Understanding-Todays-Unchurched-Connect/dp/1496411463/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1497377289&sr=8-1&keywords=churchless

What do you care about?

• combating apathy

• every cares about something

• what do we care about? Family? Success? Learning? Community? Recreation? Spiritual things, not spiritual things...people care or are passionate about all different things!

• be careful not to make judgements about what the individual says, just hear what they care about

What is important to you?

• in the day to day

• what would you miss in your day if you didn't have it?

   

Who do you get support from?

• who gives you support in what you need each day?

• What genuine friendships do you have? Family relationships?

• Support as part of the work of the Church

What experiences have shaped you?

• where do we get our ideas and suggestions from?

• Who has been impactful in your life?

For church members:

Who is hurting?

• Jesus reaches out to the hurting, constantly looks for the hurting around him

• Feeding of the 5000 example, Matthew 14:13-21

• Who's hurting in your community locally?

• Who's hurting in your family?

• Who is hurting in the world? On the news? On the internet?

How can we help you bring Christ with you?

• mini-churches being the church in the world

• Jesus before Pilate – John 18:28-40

• God invites us to ask questions of Him

• Psalm 5:1-3

   

Challenge: Are we willing to ask questions that we don't have a definite answer for or we may not like the answer to?

ESV Bible translation - Copyright © 2001 by Crossway,

a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

All rights reserved.

ilovemyshepherd.com

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCd0fe9BbadMkIZwWx-esd-g

Facebook - @ilovemyshepherd

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Show notes:

I Love My Shepherd 14 – Using Genuine Words

1 - Reasonableness:

Philippians 4:5-9

http://biblehub.com/greek/1933.htm

Where are we getting our justice and our judgment from?

How are we talking in fairness to one another?

How are we seeing the person that we're talking to as an equitable partner in the conversation?

Take a deep breath – how does this effect our reasonableness?

Questions to ask yourself before speaking:

What is at stake here?

How can I pray?

Why am I getting worked up? What is causing anxiousness?

What is in that for me? For them?

2 - Disagree well:

2 Timothy 2:23-26

Does this need correction?

Can I be heard?

What can I learn here?

3 - Put the best perspective on it:

Luther and the 8th commandment - Deuteronomy 5

http://catechism.cph.org/10-commandments.html

If we are angry = wait.

If we are sad = wait.

If we are offended/frustrated = wait.

Say one nice thing first.

Is this a public or private conversation?

4 - Eat Hay:

aka be humble

How might humility change our tongue?

ESV Bible translation - Copyright © 2001 by Crossway,

a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

All rights reserved.

ilovemyshepherd.com

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCd0fe9BbadMkIZwWx-esd-g

Facebook - @ilovemyshepherd

Twitter - @ilovemyshepherd

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Show notes:

I Love My Shepherd 13 – Written in Iron Ink: Individuality What is the value of individuality? How do we balance individuality and community?

Guests: Karen Groves, mom, wife, quilt artist, creative crafter, treasured friend Colleen Oakes, mom, wife whose husband happens to be a pastor, author of the bestselling Queen of Hearts and Wendy Darling series, all around fun and sweet gal

Define it - Merriam-Webster : https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/individuality Oxford: https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/individuality

Psalm 139:14-16 Romans 12:6-8 (4-5)

Who are the BORG and what do they have to do with individuality? ;) http://www.startrek.com/database_article/borg

“Do the things you love to do, and don't do the things you don't.” Wisdom from Karen Groves How do our ideas of service collide with trying to maintain our individuality? 1 Corinthians 9:19-23

Anything But Typical blogpost http://ilovemyshepherd.com/2017/06/anything-but-typical/ How can we honor the differences between ourselves and our spouse? Ourselves and our friends? How does embracing our own individuality affect others?

Embracing hard dreams What work would you most like to do? One person's dream is different from another's – individuality!

Creating community in your individuality The Body of Christ should be a safe place Finding community in your spouse – hold fast in the storms How do churches and how do we become Christians who build up individuality?

Colleen Oakes http://colleenoakes.com/ instagram @colleenoakes Karen Groves instagram @greengroves

ESV Bible translation - Copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. All rights reserved.

ilovemyshepherd.com YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCd0fe9BbadMkIZwWx-esd-g Facebook - @ilovemyshepherd Twitter - @ilovemyshepherd Instagram - @ilovemyshepherdministries

Show notes:

ILMS Episode 9 - Creating Genuine Community around the Word

Part 2 of Building Genuine Community Series -

Asking - “Are we a community built around the Word?” How can you tell and why does it matter?

7 tips for building genuine community in your Bible study, in your church, in your relationships...

1) Recognize that the Word is not a small thing.

1. Be intentional - Ask what are we studying and why? Why are we gathering?

2. Ask what people want and what do they need.

3. Give people options.

4. Dig deeper and then dig deeper still – in the Word and in relationship

5. Let the conversation go astray occasionally.

6. Get your Bible out. Use your Bible. Ask people to bring their Bibles and use them.

Genuine community around the world speaks Hope to a dark world.

ESV Bible translation Copyright © 2001 by Crossway,

a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

All rights reserved.

ilovemyshepherd.com

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCd0fe9BbadMkIZwWx-esd-g

Facebook - @ilovemyshepherd

Twitter - @ilovemyshepherd

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Show notes:

ILMS Episode 11 – Fostering Genuine Relationships

14 points for fostering genuine relationship

*I apologize for my miscounting in the actual podcast...but all the pieces below are there. :)

1. Maintain a core value of confidentiality and non-judgmentalness

2. Allow people to disagree, or even be wrong, with kindness

3. Eat food and share hot beverages

4. How inclusive are you?

5. How accessible are you?

6. Be careful and considerate when dealing with money.

7. Let the conversation get sidetracked occasionally.

   - intentionality + spontaneity

8. Get creative.

9. Avoid Christian-ese or denominational-ese

10. When you say “Invite a friend” do you mean it?

11. Use more technology to offer opportunity

12. What do we do with the drama? = disarming honesty

13. Different people have different needs

14. Be honest about spiritual warfare

Challenge:

How can we be armor bearers for one another?

1 Samuel 14 – Jonathan and his armor bearer

Acts 2:46

Ephesians 6:10-18

ilovemyshepherd.com

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCd0fe9BbadMkIZwWx-esd-g

Facebook - @ilovemyshepherd

Twitter - @ilovemyshepherd

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Show notes:

ILMS Episode 7 – Ministry Moment – Loving Our Newlyweds

http://ilovemyshepherd.com/2017/05/ministry-moment-loving-those-newlyweds/ (Available May 30,2017)

Genesis 2:18-25

1 Corinthians 13:1-13

Link to First Year of Marriage blog and interview

http://blog.cph.org/family/marriage/first-year-marriage-stinkin-hard/

http://www.kfuoam.org/2016/10/25/first-year-marriage-hard/

Honor the intimacy of marriage, but value the community needed for marriage.

Marriage as mission field!

Hold fast together- ask questions, be involved.

1. Get and be marriage mentors.

2. Invite a couple to dinner, ask questions. Maybe pay for it!

3. Ask – Is it hard? What's bee surprising?

4. Create a small group around marriage.

5. Ask – How are you different from one another? Help them celebrate it!

6. Teach confession and forgiveness.

7. Invite newlyweds over.

8. Make freezer meals.

9. Give them a gift card for date night. :)

ESV Bible translation Copyright © 2001 by Crossway,

a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

All rights reserved.

ilovemyshepherd.com

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCd0fe9BbadMkIZwWx-esd-g

Facebook - @ilovemyshepherd

Twitter - @ilovemyshepherd

Instagram - @ilovemyshepherdministries