This week we welcome Rafil Kroll-Zaidi, our in-house private eye and bear oil enthusiast, who gives us some pretty hot gossip in this week’s Segment P.U.B.E.S. We’re learning who these dangerous yahoos are stocking Trump’s cabinet, and this week’s featured player is:

-An alumnus from America’s most expensive clown college, Princeton*

-A geography novice and a military fangirl

-A former Fox & Friends host

-A bona fide dick-shooter

That’s right, it’s P.U.B.E of the week Peter Hegseth! Good luck, girl! We’re so scared of you!

But that’s not all! We talk about idling (bad), Lindy’s lil tumble in the shower (funny), the Year of the Snake (good?), and the segment that just won’t quit: Xmas Addendum! If you thought LAST week was too late for an xmas addendum, then you better buckle up buddy! Because we have yet another breaking xmas addendum and you won’t even begin to guess what the item in question is this week (unless you follow us or Samantha Irby on Instagram). 

WE NEED OUR ACCOLADES! It helps people find the show.

• ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Spotify
• ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Apple Podcasts
• Give us Rave Reviews and Accolades on Apple Podcasts! REAL LIFE EXAMPLE:

“I love this podcast. It's like time traveling to High School without actually having to be in high school. The stories, inside jokes and insights are splendid. And they make me laugh until my eyes water every week.”

THANK YOU BOOOKISHSARA77! YOU ARE OUR FAVORITE BUT DON’T TELL ANYONE ELSE, K?

STUFF TO CHECK OUT:

• Check out Rafil’s piece on dirty stinky idling cars! 
• Link to Lindy’s fave ramen and empathy station in NYC Marufuku East Village
• Text Me Biki
• Any non-evil social media platforms on your radar? Email us at [email protected]
• Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news, and sign up for her Master Class, How to Be Funny When You’re Sad!
• Join our Discord! We’re obsessed with these people.
• ON AIR FEST! Brooklyn Feb 19-21! Use POP40 for 40% off and come see us!!!
• Check out our MERCH so we can make MORE merch!! (Patrons get a discount, so check us out at patreon.com/textmebackpod)
• Check out Meagan’s new newsletter, SWAMP PERSON! 
• *PRINCETON DUNK IS A SIMPSON’S REFERENCE DON’T COME FOR US IF YOU’RE A GOOD AND NICE PRINCETON GRAD LIKE RAFIL

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If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod

Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.

We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!

You can email us at [email protected]!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!

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TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is supported by COPILOT Collective and produced by Alli Slice.

Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.

You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!

Special thanks as always to our perfect angels: Jeannie Yandel, Brandi Fullwood, and Isolde Raftery.

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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.