流浪Riddle｜移动书屋双语电台

一封告別愛人的信 by 匿名姑娘

原文链接 https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/jW9Ui6N9IVm68LWqHazJfA

背景音乐 Cinema Paradiso Love Theme시네마 천국, 러브테마, 王梓轩 - 碰不上会更美 

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亲爱的: 

Dear

你好哇，见字如晤: 

Hiya, hope my words find you well.

首先请你原谅我突兀而又亲呢的称呼。 

First, please forgive my sudden and intimate manner of addressing you.

现在是凌晨2点，我坐在石鼓路街边的长椅上，百无聊赖，吞下最后一口没了泡儿的橘子汽水。天气有点儿凉，玩具店的橱窗里的发条姑娘依旧在旋转，暗黄的暖光打在她的裙子上，锆石折射出的彩光那么耀眼美好，但空调外机发出的噪音盖过了歌声，间或又夹杂着这座城市中不眠者的笑声。夜晚似乎也没那么宁静，就像我的心一样。我埋头编辑这封不知如何传达的信。此时你睡着了吗？是否似一只安详的猫，蜷着身子，暂时忘记了日间的乏倦。 

It's 2 o'clock in the morning. I am sitting on the bench at Shigu road. Extremely bored as I am, I swallow the last sip of the orange juice. Not fizzy anymore. It's a bit nippy out here. The wind-up girl toy in the closet of the toy store is still spinning. Dimmed yellow light is reflected on her diamond dress, sparking an iridescent glitter. Yet the noise from the AC external unit drowns out the music, mixed with waves of laughter from the sleepless souls in this city. The night doesn't appear that quite, like my heart. As for me, I immersed myself in editing this letter I don't know how to send. Are you asleep at this moment? Are you curling into a ball like a peaceful cat, forgetting your daytime tiredness for now?

晚饭结束后，你领着我沿着海岸慢慢地走，还笑着打趣，提醒我记得脱掉鞋袜，赤脚走在沙子上，这样可以更好的融入这片海。我笑而不语，但依旧照办。你问我对于未来有什么打算，我把手插进裤兜儿，直言时候未到，是啊，时候未到。但我们真的还有好多年吗？ 

After dinner, you took me to the seashore. Walking slowly, you jokingly reminded me to lose my shoes and socks, and walk barefooted so that we could be a part of the ocean. I said nothing but smiled and followed suit. You asked me where I see myself in the next few years. Hands in my pocket, I said bluntly that it was not the time. Yes, not the time. But do we really have many years to come before us?

我想给你讲个故事，但它太长了，有一千零一夜那么长，不吃不喝，讲个三天三夜都未必会有结果；所以我想我可以长话短说，我喜欢你，从始至今。我一直记得我在校舍楼下见到你的第一眼，五月的阳光穿过树叶间碎碎的间隙照到你的头发上，星星点点，你眉眼弯弯，走向我，周遭的喧闹似乎都在那一刻静止。我手足无措，脑海里映出十个字---与君初相识，犹如故人归。我甚至忘记里基本礼仪，只顾着脸红，连一个礼貌的招呼都没有打，全然忘记我们上一秒还只是网聊多日的好友。你自然的牵起了我的手，掌心传递上来的柔软与温暖，刺激着我的中枢神经，我恍惚间从你的眸子里看到了遥远的未来，温暖的深蓝，还有那高亢嘹亮的鲸歌。 

I want to tell you a story. But it's too long. As long as One Thousand and One Nights. I won't get to the end of it even if I tell it for three days and nights straight with no food or drinks. So, long story short is my plan. I've liked you since the very beginning to this day. I'd always remember the first time I laid my eyes on you down at the dorm. Beams of May's sunshine shoot through leaves' gaps, leaving scattered sparks on your hair. You with your curling eyebrows were walking towards me. The surroundings came to a sudden halt. I didn't know where to put my hands or my feet. Only this sentence dawned upon me: the first encounter with you is a reunion with an old lover. With two burning cheeks, I forgot the basic manners, not even saying hi to you. I totally forgot that we'd been talking online for days. You held my hands naturally. The softness and warmth from the touch of your palm sent stimuli rushing to my central nerves. Suddenly, from your eyes, I saw a distant future. A future where I could see the warm depth of blue and hear the resounding songs by the whales in the sea.

但这只是我幻想的版本，符合描述者对初恋的所有向往。但事实却是，我想你了，我来到你的城市，到了之后轻描淡写的打电话告诉你，我去找朋友，顺道儿来瞅你一眼，你得请我吃沙茶面。电话那边，你先是一顿，随即轻笑出声，连声道好，但得等你做完比赛。也不知道你有没有隔着无形的电话感受到我那极力压制的颤抖的声线和红透了的脸颊与耳根。 

But this is what I'd disillusioned. It fits everything I long for from my first love. But the fact is that I miss you. I came to your city. I called you, saying lightly I came here to visit another friend and since you were here, I wanted to see you as well. I requested a treat of Shacha noodles from you. From the other end of the phone, you paused, then let out a soft laugh and many yeses. But not until you finished with your contest. Through the virtual telephone connection, I don't even know whether or not you could sense my trembling voice and my blushing cheeks and earlobes which I tried my very best to keep under control.

挂了电话后，我百无聊赖，游荡于学村之中，这个地方那么大，又那么小。大到我害怕无法在人群中一眼看到你，小到你一眼望到胆怯又没准备好捧哏逗唱的说辞的我。一颗心如同坐了滑翔机从高空突然俯冲而下，惊觉世界真小，还有几个小时，我就能见到你了。 

After hanging up, I had nothing to do but wander through this village. This place is so big and so small. So big that I feared that I could spot you in the crowd. So small that I feared that you could see the shy me who was nowhere ready to retort your jokes. My heart was swooshing down like a glider, wondering what a small world it was. Within a few hours, I could see the real you.

我的心像琴弦一样绷得紧紧的，你一出现，它就不住地奏鸣。那些操练了无数次的说辞和自认为完美的微笑也抛之脑后，我太紧张了，我猜我表现的一定很蠢。不过谢谢你，你的确如我想的那般温柔。没有客套的寒暄，没有牵手，我们穿过一条条街巷，听你讲过去的故事，你的初恋，那个一辈子住在你心里的女孩儿。你是看见我眼里的光了吗？或是其他，我不知道，但我真的很难过，胃里酸酸的，我慌乱的抓住裙角，想要逃离，路边的树枝摇曳，我的心底下了无数场雨。 

也许，是时候说再见啦。 

My heart was tense like strings on a guitar. Upon your appearance, it couldn't help playing its music. As for the words rehearsed so many times and my self-claimed perfect smile, I put all of them behind me. I was such a nerve rack. I guess I must've looked so stupid. But I still want to say thank you. You were as gentle as I expected. No formalities of chitchats. No hand-holding. We meandered through alleys after alleys. I listened to your past stories, your first love, the girl who lives in your heart forever. Did you see the lights in my eyes? Or something else? I don't know. But I was really sad. My stomach churned. I held a tight grip on the sides of my dress, wanting to flee. On the roadside, branches of trees were dancing while it was raining heavily in my heart. Maybe, it was time to say goodbye.

时间过得真快啊，以后也唯有默默在朋友圈看到你的成长了，偷偷从好友那里隔三差五尽量不着痕迹的打探着关于你的零星消息。想想也惘然：我们都在这个凡世共同度过二十余年的时光，呼吸间充斥着尘土的腥气，头顶是同一个残月、满月、又残月，也许从未看过同一朵云，但一定看过同一片天。最后不同的是，在这个悲伤的故事最后，你像水中鱼，跃进更广阔的天地；我像笼中鸟，困在这狭窄的钢铁丛林。天时，地利，人和，一样都没有占到。也许命运注定让我默默爱慕、仰慕、羡慕着你。 

How time flies. I guess in the future, I can only quietly follow how you've grown from your Wechat moments. I occasionally and secretly asked for your news from my friends, trying my best to hide my intention. After some thought, it was nothing but a resigned disappointment: we've lived in this ordinary world together for more than 20 years. Stinks of dirt fill our breathing air; waning moon, full moon and waning moon again hover above our heads; we may not have seen the same cloud, but definitely have seen the same sky.

你不爱我，我也不愿你俯身相就。 

You don't love me. I don't want you to settle for me, either.

我对你的心灵来说，无论是相隔无数的山川峡谷，还是在我们的目光只有一线之隔，其实，都是同样的遥远。 

Me to your heart and soul, no matter they are mountains and rivers away or our eyes are just one line away. They are equally far away from each other.

窃用很俗的一句话：你是我一生中最爱的人，但是你却从来不知道我是谁，爱你与你无关。就像Rick and Morty中说的那样，也许平行宇宙中有无数个你我，虽然我无法进行时空穿梭，但我依旧虔诚，也许在瑞城，我们能有一个美好的结局。 

A cliche I'll borrow here: you're the love of my life, but you never know who I am. Loving you has nothing to do with you. Like in Rick and Morty, there are innumerable versions of me and you in parallel universes. Though I can't travel through times or space, I'd keep praying that in Ruicheng, we'd have a perfect ending.

我要回去了，抱歉我无法赴约明早的早餐，也不想跟你好好的告别。我永远有说不完的舍不得，永远都想再多留一会，再多留一会。可是留不住。留不住的话，就祝你阳光明媚，前程万里吧。想和你一起做的事情，我一个人也可以好好做。最好的告别，是向前看，开始新生活。我不会哭，也希望你不会忘了我，我会去旅行，看日出日落，看海东青划过天边，看康巴篝火盛宴，再见了，我曾深爱的男孩，再也不见了，我的男孩。 

I'm going back. I'm sorry I can't keep the promise of going to breakfast tomorrow with you. I don't want to say goodbye to you. There's no way to count how many attachments I have and for ever, I'd always want to keep them longer, keep them more. But they're not meant to be kept. If so, allow me to wish you a sunny path ahead. Things I want to do with you, I can do them well by myself. The best goodbye is to look forward and start a new life. I won't cry and I hope you'll never forget me. I'll go traveling, see how the sun rises and sets, see Gyrfalcon fly across the sky, see the banquet around a bonfire in Khampa. So long for now, the boy I deeply loved. So long for never, the boy of mine.

回见 

@匿名 

Best,

@Anonymous. 

致敬一行禅师——在禅师的Blue Cliff Monastery遇到可爱的陌生人们 by Yuan

原文链接 https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/YqB9kB6rWNHESFpxvfAP0A

背景音乐 Ólafur Arnalds - Epilogue, a-Pav - Pavonis ~ Piano Collection, 薬師寺寛邦,キッサコ - 般若心经 (chorus ver.)[中文版]

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The last day of 2021 for me was a rainy day. I left New York City by myself. My physical destination was Blue Cliff Monastery, a meditation center established by Thay Thich Nhat Hanh in update New York. He was a great Buddhism master from Vietnam. If you’re not familiar with this name in Vietnamese, you’d either know his famous book Old Path, White Cloud in China or his name Shi Yi Xing in Chinese (Yi Xing literally means “one action” in Chinese). 

2021年的最后一天，对于我来说是一个雨天，我一个人离开了纽约市。我的目的地是蓝崖寺，这是Thich Nhat Hanh在纽约上州设立的冥想中心。Thich Nhat Hanh是一位伟大的越南佛教大师，如果你不熟悉这个名字的越南语，你应该会知道他的名著《故道白云》（或译为《佛陀转》），或者知道他的中文法号释一行（Nhat Hanh是“一行”的意思）。

On my way to the great master’s zen place, I was nowhere near the word ZEN. Like I said before, my physical destination was Blue Cliff. Yet I was lost in trying to find my spiritual home. Three things led to my loss. 

在去大师禅堂的路上，我离“禅”这个字还非常的远。就像我之前说的，我的目的地是蓝崖寺，然而，我在试图寻找我精神家园时却迷失了方向。有三件事导致了我的失败。

First, I was so ready to be home-bound after seeing the person I want to see in New York and saying what I want to say. Yet, due to the rampant break of Omicron, the flights back to China were either canceled or way too expensive for me to afford. My heart was already sent away from where I was then. But physically, I was trapped in New York. 

第一，我在纽约见到想见的人并说出想说的话之后，就已经准备好回家了。然而，因为奥密克戎的猖獗，回家计划被迫中断，回中国的航班要么被取消，要么就是太贵负担不起。我的心其实已经离开了当时所在的地方。但在身体上，我被困在了纽约。

Second, I was having a fever with a severe headache and runny nose. All symptoms were suggesting that I was possibly a recent victim of Omicron, a new variant of COVID-19 that was raging in New York. Even though the testing kit told me I was negative, I couldn’t control my paranoid mind to go to crazy town, pessimistically ruminating “What if this? What if that?” and concluding that I was nothing but a liability. 

其次是，我发烧了，并伴有剧烈的头痛和流鼻涕。所有症状都表明我应该是奥密克戎的受害者，这是一种在纽约肆虐的新冠变种病毒。尽管新冠自测棒的结果是阴性，但我还是控制不住偏执地疯狂幻想，悲观地思考“如果真得了，咋办呢？万一呢？”，最后的结论是自己什么也不是，只是一个累赘。

Third, on my way to Blue Cliff, I missed a transit bus from Newburgh to Middletown. I was too shy to ask for help and was too cheap to take a taxi to the monastery. I trapped myself in this realistic dilemma. In fact, I was on time for the bus. It was the bus driver that didn’t see me in the stop, so it ran off on me with no mercy to my soaked clothes, my fever-laden head, and my drenched heart. So missing that bus was the last straw that breaks the camel’s back. I was left by everybody. There was the only thing left on my mind—the scariest thing of one’s life, despair. Oh, also, I broke my glasses. So I was half-blind. It was like the universe was working against me. 

第三，在去蓝崖寺的路上，我错过了从纽堡到米德尔顿的中转巴士。我太害羞而根本不敢寻求帮助，并且又吝啬于打车费，我把自己困在这个两难之境。但事实上，我是准时在等车的。但是巴士司机并没有看到在车站等车的我，毫不留情地一脚油门走了，留下我湿漉漉的衣服、发烧的脑袋和湿透的心。错过那辆巴士是压垮我的最后一根稻草，我好像被所有人抛弃了，我脑子里只剩下一个东西——人生中最可怕的东西：绝望。哦，还有，我的眼镜还被我弄坏了，所以我是半盲着的，就好像整个宇宙都在与我作对。

Tears flooded my eyes. To this day, I was still befuddled by how I chose to beat myself up like this, especially considering I was basically a homeless couch surfer for the last two years in China. I was well trained in making the best of what comes to me in life, no matter it’s mishaps or good fortunes. Yet, on the other shore of the Pacific, in that bus stop in New Burgh, I turned myself into another person. A person I sympathize towards to the point of despising him at the same time. 

泪水淹没了我的眼眶。直到今天，我仍对我为何选择这样虐待自己感到困惑，特别是考虑到我在中国的过去两年基本上是一个无家可归的沙发客。我受过良好的训练，随遇而安于生活的一切起伏是我最擅长不过的了，无论是霉运，还是好运。然而在太平洋的彼岸，在纽堡的巴士站，我完全把自己变成了另一个人，一个我同情到鄙视他的人。

Now, let’s fast forward. 10 days later. As I was making one first step out of Blue Cliff Monastery and thinking about who I’d become, the crybaby in the above paragraphs was gone. To be more exact, he was resting in peace. How? I pay my tribute to lots of strangers I have met and haven’t met at Blue Cliff, including Thich Nhat Hanh. 

现在，让我们快进吧。十天后。当我迈出蓝崖寺的第一步，想着我会成为什么样的人时，上面几段中的爱哭鬼早已经消失不见。更准确地说，他安详的睡着了。怎么做到的呢？于此，我要向我在蓝崖寺认识的和未曾谋面的许多陌生人致敬，包括一行禅师。

…

Like I said before, en route to the monastery, I was in pretty shitty shape (Sorry for my vulgar choice of words. I rarely curse in my writing. But that’s exactly how I was. Shitty.). Yet, I managed to get myself there in spite of my broken glasses, drenched heart, and a head-spinning fever. 

就像我之前说的，在去修道院的路上，我的身体屎一般的糟糕（对不起，用词粗俗。我很少在写作中说脏话。但我真的是如此糟糕）。然而，尽管我的眼镜坏了，心脏湿透了，发烧了，我还是让自己最终成功到达寺院。

The first person I met was Jean. I talked to her on the phone before. She had a very soothing voice in explaining why they consider my application for a scholarship here (The monastery charges one visitor 40 dollars per night for accommodation and food. And they offer scholarships for people who have special cases. I was on a tight budget, so I applied for the scholarship.). While reading the part I came to New York for love in the application letter, she let out a cute laugh. To me, her laugh was telling me, “Yeah. We’ve all been there”. She, in person, was an accurate personification of that laugh, understanding my struggles and helping me settle down in the dormitory. The second I laid my head on my new bed, I could finally find a hint of peacefulness in my world. Still homeless, yet one inch nearer my spiritual home. 

我遇到的第一个人是吉恩，我之前和她通过电话。在解释我的补助金申请时，她的声音非常舒缓（寺院向每位访客收取每晚 40 美元的住宿和伙食费，并为有特殊情况的人提供补助金。我的预算很紧张，自然申请了补助金）。她一边读着申请信中我为爱来到纽约的故事，一边发出可爱的笑声。对我来说，她的笑声告诉我，“是的，我们都经历过。”她本人的样子就是那个笑声的准确化身，理解我的痛楚，并帮我在宿舍安顿下来。当我把头靠在床上的那一刻，我终于在我的世界里找到了一丝平静。虽然仍无家可归，但我离我的精神家园更近了一点点。

After settling down, I gave myself a tour around the monastery. The monastery was located in a very serene forest. My ears, getting used to the rowdy New York, could actually hear sounds that you’d have ignored, like the sound of falling leave, whistling of the wind, footfalls of some wild animals. Speaking of wild animals, I met some dears around my dorm cabin on my first day here. They were scared by my sudden presence at first. But we got along after returning their "welcome" by feeding one of them. I sent the picture of them to a friend. She said she’d dreamed about them before. I lost sight of them for several days there. One day, the very same friend surprise visited me with medicine and fruits because I’d been sickened by a fever for several days. On the same day, the deers showed up again. 

安顿好之后，我一个人参观了寺院。修道院坐落在一片非常宁静的森林中。我的耳朵，习惯了喧闹的纽约，但在这儿可以听到你会忽略的各种声音，比如落叶声，风的呼啸，一些野生动物的脚步声。说到野生动物，我第一天来宿舍就遇到了一些小鹿。起初它们被我的突然出现给吓到了。但在喂养其中一只小鹿，以回报它们的“欢迎仪式”之后，我们相处得很好。我把它们的照片发给了朋友，她说她以前梦见过它们。之后的好几天，它们不见了踪影。有一天，这位朋友突然给我送来了药和水果，因为我已经发烧好几天了。就在那同一天，鹿儿们才再次出现。

…

All the routines in the monastery were practiced to help you go back to yourself and find mindfulness and peacefulness. The clock will ring a bell every 15 minutes, a reminder for everyone to go back to their inner selves. So on hearing the sound of the bell or the singing bowl, everyone will stop talking or walking and spend some seconds being with themselves. Mindful Sangha meals will be served and eaten in silence so that you can feel every chew of the delicious food in your mouth and appreciate such a dietary blessing from Mother Nature. Walking and sitting meditations are led by monastics for lay friends every day. We sing songs together or chant sutras together before each session. 

寺院里的整个日程都是为了帮助你回归自我，找到正念与平静。时钟每十五分钟会响一次，提醒每个人回归内心。因此，当听到钟声或歌声时，每个人都会停止说话或走路，花几秒钟与自己相处。在正念僧餐时，所有人会在止语中食用餐食，你会感受到每一口美味的食物在嘴里被细细咀嚼，并感恩于自然母亲恩赐的食物。僧侣每天为居士主持行禅和坐禅。每次行禅之前，我们都一起唱歌或念经。

On my first day here, I met Luc, a young Chinese French filmmaker who lives in New York now. His long hair in a bun, baggy pants, and round glasses made him look like a brother of mine. His slow mannerism and soft words manifest great peacefulness. We exchanged some small talks and life stories. Thanks to Luc, I was already feeling that my lonesome soul was starting to stop fidgeting and letting itself get back on its road to its spiritual home. You’d often find Luc volunteering in the kitchen all the time, which motivated me to volunteer in the kitchen in later days as well. 

第一天到这儿的时候，我遇到了卢克，一位现居纽约的法国华裔的青年电影人。他的长发、宽松的裤子和圆眼镜让他看起来像我的兄弟，他缓慢的举止和柔和的语言表现出极大的平静。我们交谈一些闲谈和彼此的故事。多亏了卢克，我才感觉到我孤独的灵魂开始停止于坐立不安，让自己回到通往精神家园的道路上。你经常会发现卢克一直在厨房里做义工，这也鼓励我在后面的日子里在厨房帮忙。

In a warm community like this, helping each other does not take a second thought. It’s in everyone’s blood. When you see something is not tidy in the kitchen or bathroom, you’d put them back in order instead of walking away from them. This is what happened to my laundry one day. I put all my laundry in the washer and set up a timer for an hour to come back to put them in the dryer. Yet, by the time I got back, all my laundry was already in the dryer thanks to a nameless samaritan. I left a thank-you note for this kind stranger. Later I found out it was Sister Manifest. In later days, we shared some laughs when cleaning and washing in the kitchen together. I guess the natural spirit of volunteering and always being thoughtful to others is core to keeping this community together. You don’t rely on one system or one person to maintain the operation and spirits of one community. All it needs is the natural kindness and compassion inside all human beings. 

在这样一个温暖的社区里，互相帮助是不假思索的，它在每个人的血液中。当你看到厨房或厕所里的东西不整洁时，你会把它们放回原处，而不是走开。有一天我洗衣服时，就发生了这样的善举。我把我所有的衣服都放在洗衣机里，并设置了一个小时的闹钟，然后打算等下回来把它们放进烘干机。然而，当我回来的时候，多谢一个无名的好心人，我所有的衣服都已经放在烘干机里了。我给这个好心的陌生人留下了感谢字条，后来才知道那位好心人是永照师妹（译者注：法号是从英文名字Sister Manifest翻译而来）。之后的日子里，我们一起在厨房打扫卫生，共同分享笑声。我想，自然的志愿服务和始终利他的精神是这个社区团结在一起的核心，并不需要依赖一个系统或某一个人来维持一个社区的运作和精神，它所需要的只是所有人发自内心的自然、善良和同情心。

…

For the first 5 days at the Monastery, I wasn’t quite active. I always found myself walking around the others. Instead of meditating with the group, I often found a quieter slot to meditate by myself in the meditation hall. Like I said, I still felt under the weather due to the fever and I was paranoid that it might be COVID, so I chose to isolate myself most of the time. That physical and spiritual isolation went on even after I felt better physically and mentally. The person who helped me open up more was Brother Dailuc. 

在寺院的前 5 天，我都不太活跃。我总是发现自己在遇见别人时绕道而行，也没有和大家一起打坐，而是经常在禅堂里找一个更安静的地方自己打坐。就像我说的，由于发烧，我仍然感觉很不舒服，我很怀疑它可能是新冠，所以我大部分时间都选择了自我隔离。即使在我身体和精神上都感觉好些之后，这种双重隔离仍在继续，而帮助我更开放的人是大力师兄。

At one lunch on Day 6, I was eating at the far end of the table in silence that day. Then Brother Dailuc sat next to me and greeted me with joined palms before dining. Between his eyes, I felt a great stream of softness and kindness mixed with a tinge of sadness. After the silent 20 minutes passed, we started to talk. I wasn’t feeling shy or paranoid around him and his energy. Just like the softness between his eyes, his words and smile were equally gentle to me. One thing led to another, we started to talk about our depression days before and how we overcame it. It was the Buddha in our hearts and friends and family in reality who lit the way for us in those difficult times. After lunch, he invited me for a walk around the mountains. I had rarely talked to anyone in my first 5 days. And with Brother Dailuc, I started to pour all my thoughts and emotions to him and he took them well with words of wisdom and encouragement. Later, I asked him to write on my LOVE book—a book where I collected people’s definition of love—and this is what he wrote. 

在第六天的午餐中，那天我在桌子的另一端默默地吃饭。然后大力师兄走过来，坐在了我的旁边，在用餐前双手合十向我打招呼。在他的眼中，我感受到了一股巨大的温柔和善意，同时又夹杂着淡淡的悲伤。二十分钟的止语用餐过后，我们开始交谈。在他的能量周围，我并没有感到任何害羞或偏执，就像他眼中的柔软一样，他的言语和微笑对我来说同样的温暖。不知不觉的，我们聊起了我们之前抑郁的日子，并且是如何克服它的：在那些困难时期，我们心中的佛以及生活中的朋友和家人为我们照亮了道路。午饭后，他邀请我去山上散步。在我最初的五天里，我很少与任何人交谈，而同大力师兄一起，我开始向他倾诉我的各种想法与情感，他用智慧和鼓励的话很好地接受了它们。后来，我邀请在我的“爱之书”——一个我用来收集人们对爱情定义的笔记本——上写下些什么，下面的文字则来自于大力师兄。

“Love is sharing a deep connection with others that transcend walls and boundaries. Therefore, it is very important for us to be truly there, for our quality of presence is the gateway to the many depths of love. In love, we find joy, happiness, compassion, forgiveness…, but also tears and the pains that help enriched it. If we know that we are interconnected in many ways, we can touch love in a deeper, more spacious, and more thankful way.” 

“爱是与超越壁垒和边界的与他人分享的深厚连结。因此，对我们来说，真正处于那里是非常重要的，因为我们存在的质量是通往爱之深处的大门。在爱中，我们找到快乐、幸福、同情、宽恕……但也有帮助丰富爱情的眼泪和痛苦。如果我们知道我们在很多方面是相互连结的，我们就能以一种更深、更广阔、更感恩的方式来触摸爱。”

…

One night, I was reading in the dining room. It was my usual hangout after dinner since I had the big room for myself and had access to all kinds of tea I want. The English calligraphies on the wall by Thich Nhat Hanh were great reminders for us to do everything with great consciousness. Then V, a girl I said hi to before, entered the room. We weren’t really close. But her hearty smile brought us closer. It turned out that V, a Vietnamese student in the US, spoke Chinese fluently. What amazed me more was her baking skills. That night, she came to the dining room to bake banana bread for everyone. Of course, I was the fortunate first genie pig for her only batch of bread that night. While bread-tasting together, we talked in the dining room for almost 2 hours about food, languages, cultures and life. I learned so much about her and her country. For example, I had no idea that Jin Yong’s books and the TV shows based on his books could be a common topic for Vietnamese and Chinese to talk about forever! 

一天晚上，我坐在餐厅看书。这是我晚餐后经常去的地方，因为我可以独享整个空间，并且可以享用我想喝的各种茶。一行禅师在墙上的英文书法很好地提醒了我们做每件事时都要有“念”。然后V走进了房间，一个我之前打过招呼的女孩。我们不是很熟悉，但她爽朗的笑容让我们距离近了一些。原来，V是一名越南留美的大学生，能说一口流利的中文，更让我吃惊的是她的烘焙技巧。那个晚上，她来到餐厅是为了给大家烤香蕉面包。当然，那晚我是一个幸运儿，能够品尝她做出来的的第一批面包。在一起品尝面包的同时，我们在餐厅里聊了将近两个小时，谈论食物、语言、文化和生活。我对她和她的国家了解了很多。比如，我从没想到金庸的书和根据书改编的电视剧可以成为越南人和中国人永远谈论的话题！

To this day, that banana aftertaste and V’s smile still linger in my tastebud and memory foam. 

直到今天，香蕉的回甜和 V 的笑容仍然萦绕在我的味蕾和记忆中。

… 

My friend Haoruo surprised me on Jan 2, 2022, my third day in Blue Cliff. Well, the reason why she rushed here all the way from New York was that I was still quite sick with a fever. Endless headaches stopped me from being the person I want to be. Yet her visit brought some glimmers of hope and energies of vitality to my sick body and mind. However, she had to go back to New York on the same day, but there were no cabs around in the forest that can take her to Middletown to catch the last train to New York. In dire situations like this, Haoruo and I always find a solution by the help of kind people. This time the superhero who saved us from troubled waters was Athena, mother of a very cute 8-year-old, Dagony. 

2022 年 1 月 2 日，我在蓝崖的第三天，我的朋友皓若给了我一个惊喜，突然探望我。她从纽约一路赶到这里的原因是我还发着烧，无休止的头痛让我无法做自己，她的探望给我生病的身心带来了一丝希望和活力。可她又不得不在当天返回纽约，森林里没有出租车可以带她去米德尔敦搭上去纽约的末班车。在这种危急情况下，我和皓若总是能在好心人的帮助下找到解决办法。这次把我们从困境中拯救出来的英雄是雅典娜，她是一位非常可爱的8岁孩女孩——戴戈妮——的母亲。

Haoruo and I went to the dining room on the sister’s side to try our luck to see if anybody happened to go to Middletown so that we could share a ride. Yet, it was already after dusk. All day-time visiting lay friends had already gone home. So such news brought furrowed brows to Haoruo and me. However, the brothers and sisters started to spread the word. Even though I didn’t understand any Vietnamese, the expressions on their faces looked optimistic to us. Within 5 minutes, our superhero, Athena, showed up with her ride. When we learned that it was Athena who was driving us to the train station, we couldn’t be happier. We loved her and her perky energy! Her daughter and she were such sunshine in the community, always bringing a big smile to everyone’s face and always lending people their helping hands. 

我和皓若准备去尼姑餐厅碰碰运气，看看有没有人碰巧也去米德尔敦，这样我们就可以拼车了。然而，太阳已经下山，所有白天拜访的居士朋友都已经回家了。听到这个消息，让我和皓若都皱起了眉头。但寺院的师兄和师姐们开始帮忙散播消息，尽管我不懂越南语，但他们脸上的表情在我们看来是乐观的。不到五分钟，我们的英雄雅典娜就开着她的车出现了。当我们得知开车送我们去火车站的是雅典娜时，我们高兴极了，我们特别喜爱她和她那活泼的能量！她和她女儿在社区里都是那么阳光，总是给每个人带来灿烂的笑容，总是向大家伸出援助之手。

It goes without saying that we made it on time thanks to Athena’s speedy driving. I offered Haoruo a long hug as her train was coming. She asked me for a promise, a promise to talk about my pain with someone in the community. And I fulfilled that promise. On our way back, Athena listened to my pain and stories. Suddenly, she felt like a mother to me. A mother who was driving her heartbroken son back home. When arriving at Blue Cliff, she asked the sisters to fix up some food for me and we shared a long hug, a hug for more than 10 seconds, a hug that you could feel each other’s peaceful heartbeat. 

不用多说，由于雅典娜的高超驾驶，我们准时到达了。火车快到了的时候，我给了皓若一个长长的拥抱。她向我要一个承诺，让我答应她和社区中的某个人聊聊我的痛苦。我履行了承诺，在我们回来的路上，雅典娜听了我的痛苦和故事。突然间，她对我来来说就像妈妈一样，一位母亲开车送她伤心欲绝的儿子回家。到了蓝崖寺，她让师姐们给我准备了一些食物，我们分享了一个很长的拥抱，一个十多秒的拥抱，一个可以感受到彼此平静心跳的拥抱。

…

There are just so many stories of hearty strangers at Blue Cliff who’ve helped me and like mirrors, reminded me who I should be. There’s Brother Emptiness, the senior monastic who talked about Jin Yong's wuxia books and books about Xuanzang with me. There’s the brother who I deem as the funniest guy in Vietnamese in spite of his broken English. He joked that I looked like a monastic from the Wu-tang Clan in Jin Yong’s book. There’s Abishek who talked about love with me and introduced me the Dharma meditation camp. There’s this sister who introduced me to great books by Thich Nhat Hanh and explained the Heart Sutra for me. There’s another sister who I’ve cleaned dishes with in the kitchen and who is just like my bigger sister. There’s Riles who played basketball with me, talked about his vagabond life in the US and drove me to the train station. One day, I’m sure he’ll vagabond his way to China and to my van. We’ll tour around China for sure. And of course, there’s Thich Nhat Hanh, the Zen master I’ve never met, but his words and works brought more compassion and zen in me, in this community and in this world. 

蓝崖寺有很多暖心陌生人故事，他们帮助了我，并像镜子一样提醒我，应该做什么样的自己。这其中包括至空师兄，和我讨论金庸的武侠小说和关于玄奘的书。有一个师兄，尽管他的英语不好，但我认为他是寺院越南僧侣中最搞笑的。他开玩笑说我像金庸书中的武当道长。有Abishek和我谈论爱，还给我推荐了内观冥想营。有一位师姐向我介绍一行禅师的好的作品，并为我解释心经。还有和我在厨房里一起洗碗的师姐，她就像我的大姐姐一样。有和我一起打篮球的Riles，我们聊着他在美国的流浪生活，最后还开车送我去火车站。有一天，我相信他会流浪到中国和Riddle的，我们肯定会环游中国的。当然，还有一行禅师，我从未见过的禅师，但他的文字和作品给我，给这个社区以及这个世界带来了太多的慈悲和禅意。

When Thich Nhat Hanh passed away, I was reading his book named The Novice. In the epilogue, he shared one story about always going back to your spiritual home. His exact words are:

当听到一行禅师去世的消息时，我正在读他的书《沙弥》。在后记中，他分享了一个关于回到你的精神家园的故事。 他这样写道：

After I read it, I realized that my old glasses were broken again—one of the lenses fell out of the frame, again. This time, instead of complaining, I took out my superglue, laid down my glasses, and carefully glued up the broken part together. Like Thich Nhat Hanh said, when there is a storm that messed up your physical home, you first close the door and the windows, lit up the fire, pick up all the loose ends, and then enjoy yourself in your spiritual home, a home that nobody could take away from you. 

读完之后，我意识到我的旧眼镜又坏了——一个镜片又从镜框里掉了出来。 这一次，我没有抱怨，而是拿出强力胶水，放下眼镜，小心翼翼地将破损的部分粘在一起。 就像一行禅师说的，当一场暴风雨把你的物质家园弄得一团糟时，你首先关上门窗，点燃炉火，把散落一地的东西都捡起来，然后在你的精神家园中尽情享受，在这个家园，没有任何人能让你无家可归。

7.50 am

2022.1.24

@Honolulu Airport, Hawaii. 

早上7：50

2022.1.24

@夏威夷檀香山机场

棹歌中流 爱情不死 Flowing in the Chantey, an Undying Love by 吴尘

原文链接 https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/wcR5NO_W9h9gNqPOHBlQEw

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遇见魏世杰老爷爷是我的幸运。在此之前，本以为也读了很多回忆录，看过一些当事者的访谈，对那个时代人的命运，悲苦也算是有所了解，不至于心绪起伏，不可自制。

Meeting grandpa Wei Shijie is my fortune. Before writing this article, I thought I was well-versed in the sufferings and the fate of that generation. After all, I read a lot of autobiographies and interviews of people from that time. So I didn't expect myself to have so many emotional ups and downs. They were beyond restraint.

但真的面对面，看着他的眼睛，里面的清明通透，悲悯达观，虽然有些疲惫，但笑容里的豁达，喜乐，仍让我动容。

However, when I looked into his eyes in person, the clarity, compassion, magnanimity, with a tad of tiredness in those eyes and his generous any joyful laugh still entranced me.

喜欢听老爷爷讲他的爱情，一提起林妹妹，眼睛里的光好像能照亮全世界。他说这是他一生中最为刻骨铭心的爱情。多少年了，不管生活的境遇残酷摧逼到何种地步，只要想起林，就好像一切都不那么重要了。

I liked when grandpa Wei talked about his love story. The moment he mentioned sister Lin, the lights beamed from his eyes could light up the entire world. He said this is the most heartfelt and memorable love story of his life. In spite of many years passed, no matter how low the manacles of fate and life pushed him, everything seems so trivial to grandpa Wei at the thought of sister Lin.

在他心里面，她和分别的时候一样，沉静清澈，就像湖水。他忘不了那年在青海湖，林就这样静静地靠着他，把头钻进他的怀里，他用外衣包裹着她，小心翼翼，像怕碰坏了瓷娃娃。就这样看着云卷云舒，飞鸟停歇。他说他们盼着这样的日子很久了，所以都愿意它尽可能地长久。

In his heart, she, just like the last time they bade farewell, was so serene and limpid, like a lake. What he'll never forget is that year at Qinghai Lake. Lin leaned quietly towards him, her head in his arms; he covered her with his coat, so carefully that she was like a fragile porcelain doll. They were just there, watching the comings and goings of clouds and flying and resting birds. He said they'd been looking forward to such a day for a long long time. So they hoped that it could last as long as possible.

在青海核基地的十多年里，这样岁月静好的日子极少。他们这批立志为国防科研事业贡献一生的大学生们，从最初开始，就注定走上一条远离庸常幸福的路。

Working at the nuclear base in Qinghai for more than a decade, they rarely enjoyed a peaceful day like this. They were the batch of college students who were always ready to devote themselves to the cause of national defense and technology. From the very beginning, their fates were already written: to walk a path far from cliche happiness.

随着“文革”的大潮袭来，他们所在的基地难成净土。他身边的人，也都或早或晚成为被批判专攻的对象。那些人，多是躬耕科研，一生忠其志，为国家事业牺牲也再所不惜的知识分子。

As Cultural Revolution was raging forward, the base where they lived was nowhere from a peaceful land. People around them had been or would be denunciated and penalized. Most of them were intellectuals who'd committed their whole life to science and who wouldn't hesitate to sacrifice themselves for the causes of their motherland.

他们有专业，但被政治剥夺；有项目，却成为专政的疽痈。生命力被一点点折磨耗尽，他们的余生就像离开了水的鱼，早晚干涸而死。

They had their expertise, yet with no political rights; they had their projects, yet being accused as the tumor leading to dictatorship. Their life had been depleted, drop by drop; they lived like a fish out of water for the rest of their life, waiting to be dried up and dead.

幸存的比如留德吴博士一样，因为过度惊吓，精神失常。再比如早先被专政的在后期成了揭发能手，毫不心慈手软的把炮口朝向自己的伙伴。

Some of those who eventually survived were tortured by mental disorders due to extreme shocking, like Dr. Wu who'd studied in Germany. And some of them, who used to be wrongly accused in the beginning, later became the super "whistle-blower" who'd mercilessly hold their own friends to the gun points.

早逝的比如早年重用知识分子、被批判的吴厂长，因为长期在锅炉房劳动改造，备受折磨而病死。又比如炸药专家钱因为宁死也不肯承认莫须有的罪名，被打得肋骨全裂而亡。又或者刚烈如周组长，因在别人的批判大会上愤然退出，被隔离关押，最终跳楼自尽，用生命向逼迫者抗议，完成了精神的不朽。

Those who didn't survive include factory Manager Wu. In the early years, he valued and promoted many intellectuals. After going through the denunciation rallies, he was sent to labor in a boiler room and died of an illness and tortures. Explosion expert Qian would rather die than admit the fabricated accusations. He was beaten to death. All his ribs were broken. Another one is the strong-willed group Leader Zhou. He was detained after storming out of a denunciation rally of someone else. Eventually, he committed suicide after jumping from a building. By protesting against the rebel groups with his life, he achieved spiritual immortality.

而他也无法独善其身，被迫用曾经梦想写科普著作的笔去写批判材料。所批之人，有曾经提携支持过他的恩师，他最为敬重的上级。在如此艰难时刻，林是他唯一的安慰和盼望，给了他好多继续走下去的力量和理由。

As for him, he was unable to remain as a moral and righteous person in such a malign era. He was forced to write denunciation material with his pen, a pen he once dreamed to use to produce great scientific works. Those who he denunciated included his teachers who'd promoted and supported him before, his superiors he'd put on the pedestal. In such a difficult hour, Lin was his only solace and hope, offering him strength and reasons to walk on.

在一封来信中，林说到：“在目前的形势下，你不可能有所作为，也不可能改变什么，浪费时间和精力，徒然增添烦恼而已。无意之中，充当帮凶的角色，也未可知。当然，我知道，这不是你的心愿。你会坚守自己的信念。但我要嘱咐你一句，不要只考虑自己，尽你最大努力，去怜悯那些受苦受难的人吧。”

In a letter, Lin said, "There's nothing you can do in the status quo. There's nothing you can change. Wasting time and energy on this can do nothing but deepen your own sorrow. I know it's not your intention. But, unwittingly you might've already become an accomplice in this. I know it's against your heart. You will stick to your own beliefs. But a word of caution: don't just think about yourself. Do your best to pity those who've suffered."

他也的确如此，尽其所能，去帮助保护患难中的人。林的嘱托和他的信仰在那样的无边黑暗中，是他脚前的灯，路上的光。

He did his best, like Lin said, to offer a hand to those in difficulties. Amidst the endless dark hours, Lin's cautious words and his faith illuminated his path ahead.

他说他现在也清清楚楚的记得最后一次和林相见，是在他精心布置的准备结婚的新房里，墙壁上，挂着他费尽周折托人画的林最喜欢的居里夫人的画像，那双眼睛里包含着宁静、智慧和善良。
He said he still remembered vividly his last meeting with Lin. That was at the wedding house he'd meticulously decorated. On one of the walls hangs a portrait of Madame Curie, which he went through some trouble to get. Peace, wisdom and kindness glitter in those eyes of Madame Curie.

在那个属于他们的温暖夜晚，他们就这样相拥着，不说话，一动不动。他想帮她撩开脸上的乱发，却触到了湿湿的泪。他说他那时才读懂以前读过的诗：“若你流泪，湿的总是我的脸；若你悲戚，苦的总是我的心。”

In that warm everything that only belonged to them, they just embraced each other. No words. No motions. He went to clear the shaggy hair on her face; instead, he felt her tears. He said only then had he understood the poems he used to read: "Your tears always dampen my face; your sorrows always pain my heart."

以后他们才知道，那个夜晚就是他们此生最后的相聚。林就此离开，加入攻关组，奔赴核试验第一线。几年后，他得知林在现场出了事故，受到严重的核辐射，生命垂危。

Only in later days did they realize that that was their last time to be together. After that evening, Lin left, joining a special workforce at the nuclear base. Some years later, he learned that an accident happened at Lin's workplace, exposing Lin to severe radiation. Lin was dying.  

本想第一时间去见她，却因为一场原为救人的事故，被诬陷蓄意谋杀，隔离审查。在那段被囚禁的日子里，心急如焚的他只有在夜晚望着月亮时，才有片刻安慰。想着可以通过月亮的反射，看见彼此，就好像和林在同一个空间下紧紧相偎。

He intended to go and see her immediately. Yet, after an accident where he intended to save lives, he was wrongly accused of an attempt to murder and detained afterward. In those days behind bars, he was burning with anxiety. The only piece of comfort for him was the moon hanging in the night sky. Thinking that they could see each other through the moon's reflection, he felt that he was holding Lin tight in the same space.

后来林彪倒台，被平反的他，第一时间奔去见林，不想已生死两隔。

Later, Lin Biao was dethroned and he got exonerated. Instantly, he rushed to see Lin, hoping that death wouldn't separate them.

为了弥补这个一生的遗憾，在他的书里面，他想象了一个完满的结局，在那个结局里，他不顾一切地逃离隔离审查处，在医院见到了林最后一面，给她唱了她最喜欢的圣诗——《珍宝》。

In order to make it up for the regret of his life, he wrote a happy ending in his book. In the ending, he managed to escape from his detainment at any risk and see Lin for the last time in the hospital. He sang her her favorite hymn--Jewels.

“等主回来，快要回来，

要聚集他珍宝，

明亮珍宝，洁白珍宝，

主心深喜爱…”

"When He cometh when He cometh

To make up His jewels

All His jewels precious jewels

His loved and His own"

后来，他辗转寻到了林的骨灰，按照她的嘱托，把骨灰撒在黄浦江上，和她当年在此投江的母亲，互相有个照应。

Later, he found Lin's urn after passing through many places. Per her request, he spread her ashes to Huangpu River so that she could reunite with her mother who killed herself in the very same river.

他说他一直都记得那天的江边，很安静，只听到浪花声，人世间的恩怨离他们好远好远，只有广阔的江，海，云，天。就这样坐在小船上，把林的骨灰放在他折的小纸船里，随风消失在天的尽头。他说他的心里很安然，他知道林是去到天国，一个没有痛苦、悲伤的地方。

He said that he still remembered the river was very quiet. He could only hear the splashing waves. The grudges and gratitude in the earthly world were so far away from them. What they saw were just an expansive river, ocean, clouds, and sky. Like this, he sat in a small boat, put Lin's ashes in the paper boat he'd folded and watched it vanish to the end of the sky. He said his heart was at peace. He knew Lin went to heaven, a place with no pain or sorrows.

在他心里面，她洁净如水，是从天上来，就像他最喜欢的《红楼梦》中的词 “质本洁来还洁去”，这样的结局挺好。

Deep in his heart, she was pure as water, falling from heaven. Just like a line from this poem in A Dream in the Red Mansions, "for pure you came and pure shall go." Such an ending is a good ending.

“我太放任自己，忘记了

不仅仅世事纷纭，万灵自由

他们的眼中包含着生命的浑然一体

怎会有人明了我们之间所发生的

以弥补时间所不能兑现的一切

每一轮凋谢的青春中

我奇妙的长大

而你，我的爱，拥有我内心狂野的童年

记忆行将匮乏，那些瞬间里

一定累积过我生命的页岩

沉淀自沧浪之水

我无须怀念，只因我的一切由你而成

且令我心意难平

在远离你的清冷场所，即便无法感知你

而你的缺席，也给你暖意

实实在在胜过独自忧闷

思念总是不经意地走入幻觉

当你的影子分别浮现轻盈如月光栖息在窗棂

我缘何仍要抛弃自己”

——里尔克

I held myself too open, I forgot

that outside not just things exist and animals

fully at ease in themselves, whose eyes

reach from their lives' roundedness no differently

than portraits do from frames; forgot that I

with all I did incessantly crammed

looks into myself; looks, opinion, curiosity.

Who knows: perhaps eyes form in space

and look on everywhere. Ah, only plunged toward you

does my face cease being on display, grows

into you and twines on darkly, endlessly,

into your sheltered heart.

As one puts a handkerchief before pent-in-breath-

no: as one presses it against a wound

out of which the whole of life, in a single gush,

wants to stream, I held you to me: I saw you

turn red from me. How could anyone express

what took place between us? We made up for everything

there was never time for. I matured strangely

in every impulse of unperformed youth,

and you, love, had wildest childhood over my heart.

Memory won't suffice here: from those momentsthere 

must be layers of pure existenceon 

my being's floor, a precipitate

from that immensely overfilled solution.

For I don't think back; all that I am

stirs me because of you. I don't invent you

at sadly cooled-off places from which

you've gone away; even your not being there

is warm with you and more real and more

than a privation. Longing leads out too often

into vagueness. Why should I cast myself, when,

for all I know, your influence falls on me,

gently, like moonlight on a window seat.

By Rainer Maria Rilke 

亚马逊热带雨林里的一束光 A Beam in the Amazon Rainforest by 张皓若

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穿过渔民们放着各种颜色的鱼虾水品，充斥着葡萄牙语陌生但热闹的声音，还有混杂着河水和热带城市特有味道的农贸市场，我在马瑙斯的港口见到了Loucivildo。

Meandering through fisherman's colorful seafood in the local food market with the strange yet lively sounds of Portuguese in the ears and the smell of special tropical city and river in my nose, there at Manaus Port, I met Loucivildo.

绿色迷彩的上衣和一条浅色短运动裤，破了一点的运动鞋，不高但黝黑结实的身材。他热情的用英语简单的问候了乘船的我们。在得知有两位来自西班牙和法国的游客之后，他又和他们用法语和西班牙语寒暄了几句。Loucivildo从小在雨林里出生和长大，是我接下来十天住在巴西的热带雨林里的向导。

He was in his camouflage green shirt, light-colored shorts and worn sports shoes. His physique was not tall but looked brawny with his tan. He welcomed us passionately in simple English when we onboarded his boat. After knowing 2 of our fellow tourists were French and Spanish, he made small talks with them in French and Spanish. Loucivildo was born and raised in a rainforest village and he'd be our guide in the Brazilian rainforest for the next 10 days.

7个人挤在一艘小船上，驶过著名的黑白河段，Loucivildo一边和我们用简单但流利的英语解释着这奇异景观的成因，一边熟练的驾驶着小船前行。

7 of us got on board, crowding the small boat. We passed by the renowned Solimões and Negro Rivers, where black and white water joined together yet flew divided with their own colors. Loucivildo introduced why such an amazing landscape came into being in simple yet fluent English while steering the boat adroitly.

热带雨林里的热是无处可逃的，特别是在没有风的时候。我们渐渐驶入人烟稀少的雨林深处，蝉在不知名的角落里鸣着，偶尔听到远处吼猴的呼唤。起风时，芭蕉树巨大的叶片像水波般颤动，沙沙的声音总让人有种下雨了的错觉。

Heat is inescapable in the rainforest, especially without wind. Slowly, we started to enter the depth of the secluded part of the rainforest. Cicadas were singing in their tenor voices in some hidden corners. Howler monkeys were howling far away. In the blows of the wind, the giant banana leaves were trembling like water waves, producing the pitter-patter sounds like it was raining.

眼看好像还很远的一团乌云，瞬间就来到了我们面前。豆大的雨点带着摧枯拉朽之势落下，不带丝毫同情或是温柔。我们狼狈的急忙用雨衣和塑料布遮住自己和装着贵重物品的包，好不容易睁开眼睛时，我看到Loucivildo被淋得湿透，但却平静的坐在船头，看向远方。顺着他的视线望去，远处的树林和水面在大雨里也是那么从容安然。不像在内陆摇摇欲坠的城市，狂风暴雨中摇晃不已的树枝，亚马逊雨林更像一个张开双臂拥抱天空的庞大身躯，宁静的把风雨融入自己的身体，滋润万物生灵。

Suddenly, a cloud floating afar flew over us in no time. Bean-sized rain drops bucketed down, with no mercy or gentleness. Helter-skelter, we covered ourselves and our bags with raincoats and plastic clothes. Struggling to open my eyes, I saw Loucivildo sitting peacefully at the bow, completely drenched, eyesight perching afar. I looked where he was looking--the forest and the water in the distance were relaxing and restful in nature's bath. Unlike the shaking and bustling mainland city and the jerking twigs in the rainstorm, the Amazon rainforest stands like a giant embracing the sky, melting the wind and rain inside of its body to mother all beings.

来势汹涌的暴雨和黑暗压城的乌云固然震撼人心，但看着大地不动声色地化解这来势汹汹，雨过之后除了沾着水滴的树叶毫无那场天地混沌的痕迹，感受到的则是敬畏，是对灵魂的洗涤。再看到Loucivildo，雨晴之后在加速行驶的小船上被风一吹，我们到达森林小屋时他也都被吹干了。就像刚才那场瓢泼大雨没有发生一样，真是森林的孩子，和养育他的自然母亲同样的秉性，一份外来旅行者——虽带着各种所谓高级的户外装备——也学不来的洒脱。

Walls of rain and the cumulonimbus helicoptering us overwhelmed me. Yet it was how the land calmly welcomed such a rainful aggression that made my soul feel awed and cleansed. When the rain ceased, there were no signs of its intensity except for a few drops on the tropical leaves. I took another look at Loucivildo. Breaking the wind while steering his boat faster under the sunshine after the rainstorm, he was dried when we arrived at the forest cabin. He was so cool about everything like nothing had happened. No wonder he was the son of the forest, sharing the same personality as that of his nature mother. Such a Zen can never be learned by outside tourists in spite of their high-end outdoor equipment.

后来的日子里，我渐渐了解了Loucivildo的故事。他从小虽在本地原著居民的部落出生，但青年时期开始在雨林里的各种民宿和旅馆打工，遇到世界各地的人们，通过和他们聊天学会了6、7门语言。

As days passed, I learned more about Loucivildo. He was born in an indigenous tribe, but he worked in hostels and hotels in the rainforest in his adolescence. By meeting and talking with people across the globe, he learned 6 or 7 languages.

白天，他带我们去开阔的水域划船，去长满刺的荷叶丛钓食人鱼，去无人涉足的雨林里徒步，去原住民的家中吃饭和学习他们采集和加工木薯粉的智慧，带我们去看爬满了小蚂蚁的大树，他温柔的让这些小蚂蚁爬到身上又回到树上，说这就是当地人的防蚊技巧，他们没有也不用防蚊喷雾。

In the daytime, he took us to row in open waters, to fish Piranha in the spiky lotus bushes, to trek in the rainforest that hadn't seen lots of human footsteps, to eat at indigenous people's homes, and learn about how they collected and processed tapioca. He also took us to see big trees resided by many many small ants. He lead them to climb to his body gently and back to the tree, explaining that this is a local technique to ward off mosquitoes. They don't possess or apply any repellents.

天黑前，我们在木屋里一起吃饭聊天。夜幕笼罩之后我们划着小船出去，目光所及之处没有一点人类文明的痕迹。闪烁的银河映在平静的湖面上，天上脚下全是星星，感觉自己好像漂浮在星空之中。正惊叹着，Loucivildo突然说十米开外的地方有鳄鱼。我们划着小船悄悄过去，他居然徒手从水里突然拎起一条小鳄鱼宝宝，和我们说完各种关于鳄鱼宝宝的知识之后，又温柔的把受惊的小鳄鱼放回了水里。

In the evenings, we ate and chatted in the cabin before dawn. When it was pitch dark outside, we'd row our boat to the wild. There were no traces of human civilizations in our eyesight. The Galaxy was flickering on the reflection of the lake. All the stars around me from head to toes made me feel like I was floating in the starry night. While I was enjoying my amazement, Loucivildo said there was a crocodile 10 meters away ahead of us. We rowed our boat surreptitiously in that direction. Out of nowhere, he lifted a baby crocodile from the water with his bare hands. After tellings us all kinds of knowledge about them, he then put the startled little crocodile back to the water like a gentleman.

一天傍晚，乘着小船回家的路上，遇到让我久久说不出话的美丽夕阳。天空被最后一丝光染成灿烂的红色时，一群水鸟从附近的树林里飞起，盘旋着在那片水域之上，一些还停在了我们的小船上。此起彼伏的叫声，翅膀在风里的声音，和自然里所有微妙的声响交织在一起，寂静又热闹。我惊叹着，Loucivildo仍然只是静静地坐在船头，轻轻地划着桨，黝黑的脸上带着微笑，在彩色的霞光的映衬下好像更黑了一点，但是又散发着一种充满生命力的，温柔的光。

One dawn, on our way back home on the boat, we met a sunset that was so stunning that it rendered me speechless. As the sky was being tainted crimson by the last beam of light, a crowd of birds flew from the nearest forest and hovered above the lake. Some even took a break on our boat. Noises were up here and down there: the rattling sound of the flapping wing joined all the other nuanced sounds from nature made a quiet and clamorous symphony. I was still immersed in my amazement, and Loucivildo was just sitting quietly at the bow, softly roaring the oars. His tanned face was decorated with a smile, looking even darker under the colorful sunset glow. However, his face was also effusing a soft light full of life.

那一个片段久久的留在我的脑海。That picture was imprinted on my mind.

晚上的小木屋没有电灯，也没有空调，湿热的空气和帐篷里的蚊子让想早早睡觉的我爬了起来。在厨房接水时看到Loucivildo，说着他就给我调了一杯“乡村姑娘”（巴西的一种鸡尾酒），我们就地坐在木屋门口喝着酒，看着茫茫的黑夜和天上的星星，有一句没一句的聊着。

There were no lights nor A/C in the cabin. The damp air and the mosquitoes woke me up from an early sleep. I saw Loucivildo when I was trying to get water. He fixed me up with a Caipirinha--a Brazilian cocktail. So we sat at the wooden door and chitchatted while looking at the dark wild and the starry night.

“这里好美，今天的夕阳好美。”我说道。"It's so beautiful here. And today's sunset." I said.
“嗯，是啊。我每天都可以看到这样的夕阳，去到雨林的各种地方，还能顺带赚些不错的钱，因为是和很多富裕国家的旅客，也会比当地一些普通工作工资高一些。每天过的都很简单，也能遇到世界各地很多不同的人，和他们成为朋友。”

"Yeah. I get to see sunsets like this every day and go to different spots of the rainforest. And I can make some money from this. Because the guests I receive are from wealthier countries, I made more money than average jobs here. Every day is simple. I meet people from all over the world and become friends with them."

“天呐，这不就是梦想中的生活吗！以后要是我也能在自然中这样生活那简直人生完满了。”我惊叹到。

"Oh my god, this is my dream life! If I could live such a life in the future, I’d ask nothing more." I exclaimed.

“……其实……我不想一直只做这个。我一直在攒钱，学习读写，以后想去城市里上大学。”Loucivildo有些羞涩地说。

"Well...to be honest...I don't want to just do this all my life. I've been saving up money and learning how to read and write. I want to go to a university in the city." Loucivildo said with shyness.

“嗯？是吗？你想学什么呢？有时候我觉得你知道的比城市的人们多多了。你可以在雨林里生存，在无人踏足的地方开路，在黑夜里看到远处的鳄鱼，看星星判断方向……”

"Yeah? What you wanna learn? Sometimes I think you know more than the city folks. You can survive in a rainforest, go to places that people have never been to, and spot the crocodiles from afar in the dark, and know your directions by looking at stars..."

Loucivildo喝了一口酒，看着远处的什么地方。Loucivildo had a sip of his drink, looking beyond.

“我想学生物学，想真正的了解我生长的这个地方是什么样的， 在这里的生命们是如何的，我要更好的保护它们。估计需要攒很久的钱，现在也还不知道能上哪所大学，但是这是我在努力的方向，是我想做的事情。”
"I want to study biology. I want to know what my hometown is really like how the lives living here are like. I want to better protect them. It will take some time for me to get enough money. I don't know which university I can go to. But this is something I'm working on. This is something I want to do."

我在星光中隐约看到他脸上温柔的微笑，好像是在对我笑，又好像是在对着雨林。想想他离真的能去到大学，似乎还有好远好长的一段看不清方向的路，但是这句被他轻轻说出的话里，有一种无比确凿的信念，好像到那里其实也很简单。我一下子有些说不出话来，只是点了点头。

In the dim light from the stars, I saw him gently smiling at me, or maybe at the forest. It seemed he was far away from realizing his college dream. The way there was blurry without clear direction. Yet, the words, which he uttered with a light tone, had a strong determination. It seemed that realizing this goal is also easy, even amidst all the uncertainties. I was a bit wordless, and just nodded. 

现在回想，他的那句话撼动了我对生命的认知。

In retrospect, his words changed some of my fundamental beliefs for life.  

我从小心里就有避世的渴望，想远离世界的纷扰，过安静自然简单的生活。在雨林里的那一周总觉得Loucivildo就过着我理想中的生活，他的笑容和言行安静纯粹，而且带着一种不急不慢的温柔和真实，在我眼里闪着奇妙的光。

Ever since young, I wanted to get away from the world, away from the hustles and bustles, so that I can live a simple and quiet life in nature. I felt that Loucivildo was living my dream life in the rainforest. He carries this sense of authenticity and gentleness in his quiet smiles and actions, glimmering in my eyes. 

他所渴望和思考的，不是如何保持这样的生活，或者让自己过得更好，而是怎样为那个地方多做点什么。也许我看到Loucivildo身上一切我喜欢的东西，更多来自于他内心对这个世界的爱与信念，而不只是我以为的，美丽广阔的雨林。

Yet what he longs for and thinks about, is not how to keep living this life or to make his own life better, but how to do more for that place. Maybe the things that I like about Loucivildo, come more from his love and belief for the world, instead of only from the boundless rainforest. 

几年后读到亚马逊热带雨林几天几夜的大火的新闻时，心痛的感觉要流泪了。再了解到更多大火背后政府的贪污腐败和大公司金钱利益的纠纷时，觉得这个世界真是糟糕透了。还有更多的冲突，战争，金钱，私欲，无知。也许所有努力都是徒劳，人类没救了，我就想找个可以避开所有这一切的地方安静的待着，不然某一天我也就不知不觉变成了个麻木而糟糕的人了。

A few years later, I read the news about the wildfire in Amazon. It pained me to tears. After learning about the political corruption and money struggles behind it, I thought this world was such a terrible place. There are even more conflicts, wars, selfishness, and ignorance. Maybe all the efforts are in vain and humanity can not be saved after all. I wanted to find a land, a piece of purity to avoid all these before I unwittingly turn into a terribly numb person one day. 

但每次想到Loucivildo的微笑，隐约又觉得看到了大火尽头的一束光，在照着被烧毁的森林中，一颗刚发芽的种子，在光里慢慢的茁壮生长。

However, every time I think about Loucivildo’s smile, I could almost see a beam of light at the end of the desperate fire. It shines upon a budding seed that grows in the seemingly dead forest.

它对我说，不要跑走，皓若，再继续做点什么吧！到达那个理想的地方，其实也可以很简单。

It says to me, don’t leave yet. Just do something. Reaching that place in your dream can also be easy. 

“我希望世界上的所有人没有冲突，共享和平。”

"I imagine all the people in the world should have no conflict. Peace for all."

年轻的心，今晚自由的飞翔 "Young Hearts, Be Free Tonight" by Yuan

原文链接 https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/4VeMMQN2x9CmP5VIi-AW0Q

背景音乐 Luke Faulkner - Clouds, Rod Steward- Young Turks 

Riddle Apple Podcast https://apple.co/3tl9UBf  

Riddle 喜马拉雅 https://bit.ly/riddleximalaya 

Riddle Wechat Blogs https://bit.ly/riddlewechat

Riddle Instagram https://bit.ly/riddleinsta 

Patreon Page https://www.patreon.com/yuanriddle 

It was a typically tropical raining day in Chiangmai. Humid, unpredictable, yet soothing to most sweaty foreheads and anxious homebound souls.

这一天是一个典型的清迈热带雨天。潮湿、且无法预知，但对于大多汗流浃背和焦躁的返乡之魂来说，它是一种抚慰。

COVID really did a number on Chiangmai, an old city frequented by many tourists from all over the world. Many shops along the street and inside the alleys ran out of business; the once ubiquitous red tuk-tuk trucks were hard to spot now; the vroom vroom of the motorcycles seemed less noisy now; few foreign tourists wandered in the quiet old town. Fortunately and unfortunately, I was one of them.

清迈本来是一个许多世界各地游客经常会光顾的老城，但COVID 疫情对清迈产生了蛮大的影响。沿街和小巷内的不少商店都停业了；曾经无处不在的红色嘟嘟车现在也是不见踪影；摩托车的嗡嗡声现在好像也没那么吵了；这安静的老城里闲逛的外国游客也没有几个了。幸运而又不幸的是，我是其中之一。

Somehow, I was quite content with the status quo, even though such a feeling seems to lack of compassion to the local businesses and a lack of consideration of those who've been longing for traveling, yet cannot. But I don't want to lie. The last place I wanted to be then is a noisy overcrowded city. What I had at Chiangmai was perfect for me. I could hop to different places while still enjoying a peaceful and safe bicycle ride.

不知怎么，我对现在这种情况很满意，尽管这种感觉似乎对当地的商铺缺乏同情心，也没考虑到那些渴望旅行却又无法出行人们的心情。但我不想撒谎，我最不想去的地方就是一个嘈杂拥挤的城市，清迈的一切对我来说是完美的。我可以去到不同的地方，同时也享受着平静安全的自行车骑行。

Unlike my past months in mainland US and Hawaii, I didn't know anyone in the city, which is both a blessing and a curse. To make it even more so, my basic Thai didn't allow me to hold down a deep conversation. So the blessing is that no one would bother my existence when I wanted to be shy; the curse is that I did miss another witty mind and new pair of listening ears. But believe me, I tried to make the most of the blessing part. Keywords here, I tried.

与我呆在美国大陆和夏威夷的过去几个月不同，在这座城市我一个人都不认识，这是福也是祸。更加是福也是祸的是我的半吊子泰语是没法让我和别人有一个深入的交谈的。所以“福”是，当我想害羞的时候，没人能打扰我的存在；“祸”是我的的确确想念有趣的人和一对能够倾听的耳朵。但请相信我，我已尝试去享受那份祝福了。关键词是，我已经尝试过了。

After eating at a Japanese restaurant, I joined the waitresses to draw food cartoons on their souvenir bags. Through body language and the most amazing language of the human mind--a smile, I managed to blend in. The girls were talking and giggling. Maybe about me, a weird customer who decided to get a free "art therapy session" at the vestibule of a restaurant.

在一家日本餐厅吃完饭后，我和服务员们一起在她们的纪念品袋上画着食物的卡通画。通过肢体语言和人类思维中最神奇的语言——一个微笑，我融入其中。女孩儿们有说有笑，也许她们在笑我这样一位奇怪的顾客，在餐厅前厅接受免费的“艺术疗愈课程”。

Also, I forgot to mention. This was my second "art therapy session" at the same place. The reason why I came back is to pick up a notebook I left there for the girls to write something on. It was a lime green notebook with a Chinese character on it, Wen, meaning "kiss". I carried it everywhere. I carried it because I'd been seeking strangers' answers to a very important question to myself, "what is love?" I enjoyed my first "session" so much, so I left it here the night before for the girls to write their answers in the notebook.

另外，我忘了说，这是我在这个地方的第二次“艺术疗愈课程”。我回来的原因是要拿起我留在那儿的笔记本，让女孩们在上面写点东西。那是一本青绿色的笔记本，上面写着一个汉字“吻”，我到处带着它。我带着它是因为我一直在寻找陌生人关于一个对我自己来说非常重要的问题的答案，“什么是爱？”我非常喜欢我在这儿的第一个“疗程”，所以前一天晚上我把它留在这里，让女孩们在笔记本上写下他们的答案。

With enough "art sessions", my treasure retrieving task accomplished, and ominous weather in the sky, I was ready to hit the road home. After a simple goodbye and thank-you to my fellow "artists", I started to pedal hard on my bike. Yet, within seconds, the rain was pouring down. I couldn't risk getting my lime green answer book wet. I knew I had to find a shelter for it and me. So I went to a beer pub nearby.

“疗愈课”上的差不多了，也完成了我的寻宝任务，伴着天空中的不祥天气，我准备踏上回家的路。在向和我一起工作的“艺术家”简单道别和感谢之后，我开始狂蹬我的自行车。然而，就几秒钟之内，大雨倾盆而下。我不能冒险弄湿我的青绿色答案簿，我知道我必须为它和我找到一个庇护所。于是我去了附近的一家啤酒吧。

"Sawade krap!" a young boy said hi to me in Thai while joining his palms.

“萨卡迪卡！”一个男生双手合十，用泰语向我打招呼。

"Sawade krap." My voice didn't sound as confident as his. Wanting to change the conversation in the language I felt comfortable with, I posed my request in a hurry.

“萨卡迪卡。”我的声音听起来不像他那么自信。我想用觉得舒服的语言来对话，就急忙提出了我的要求。

"Phut pa sa angrit dai ma krap?"

“普帕萨昂格里歹买卡？”

"Krap!" He replied with a big smile, not as big as mine, I believed.

“卡！”他笑着回答，他的笑容肯定没有我的那么大，我猜测。

"Mm, is the golden ale good?" asked me while browsing the menu on the brick wall.

“嗯，这个金色艾尔啤酒好喝吗？”一边扫着砖墙上的酒单，我一边问他。

"Yeah. It's a locally brewed craft beer."

“当然。是当地酿造的精酿啤酒。”

"OK, let me have one of that for now." I sat at the bar.

“好啊，先给我一杯。”我坐在吧台边。

The boy said something in Thai to a girl standing close to him. The girl smiled and went away with a nonic pint in her hand. Even under her mask, I could tell she had a beautiful smile and I could also tell that I was not the primary target of that smile. The boy who greeted me in the first place was having a similar smile in his eyes and under the mask.

男孩用泰语对站在他身边的女孩说了些什么，女孩笑了笑，拿着一个品脱杯走开了。即使她戴着口罩，也能看出她的笑容很美，我也能看出我并不是那个笑容的主要对象。最先与我打招呼的男孩眼中和他口罩的背后也带着相似的笑容。

Even though it was a bit nippy because of the rain, the temperature inside the bar warmed my whole being. Suddenly, an idea, a familiar idea, dawned on me. "I should ask them to write something in my notebook. They make a very cute couple, if they are a couple. If not, maybe I could be a match-maker by teasing them a bit." An innocent evil laugh echoed in my cranium.

尽管下雨有点冷，但酒吧里的温度却温暖了我全身。忽然，一个念头，一个熟悉的念头，浮现在我的脑海。 “我应该让他们在我的笔记本上写点东西。如果他们是一对，他们真的是一对可爱的恋人。如果不是，也许我可以逗逗他们，做个媒人。”一种天真又邪恶的笑声在我的脑中回荡。

"Here's your golden ale." said the girl as she put my adult coke cola in front of me across the counter.

“这是你点的金色艾尔啤酒。”那个女孩一边说，一边把我的成人可乐放坐在柜台对面的我的面前。

"Hi, I have another request." I couldn't hide my shyness.

“嗨，我还有一个请求。”我无法掩饰我的害羞。

"Yes?"

“什么呢？”

"Mmh. I'm doing a project. I ask strangers to write 'what is love?' on this notebook. Do you guys want to write something?" I handed them my answer book.

“嗯。我正在做一个项目，邀请陌生人写下‘什么是爱？’，在这个笔记本上。你们想写点什么吗？”我把我的答案簿递给他们。

"Wow. That's so interesting." Their eyes lit up as they were browsing through the notebooks. They stood even closer. Closer than the distance of colleagues or normal friends.

“哇，这太有趣了。”在翻阅笔记本时，他们的眼睛里闪烁着光亮。他们站得更近了，比同事或普通朋友的距离更近。

"So?"

“所以？”

"Of course. We'd love to! This project is so romantic. These answers gave me goosebumps." The boy couldn't hide his big smile. His right hand naturally reached to hold the girl's waist. So I'd guessed it right.

“当然。我们很愿意！这个项目太浪漫了，这些答案让我起鸡皮疙瘩。”男孩掩饰不住他灿烂的笑容，他的右手自然而然的伸到了女孩的腰间，所以我是猜对了。

Seeing my curious satisfaction on my face, the boy revealed, "Oh, by the way, we're a couple."

男孩见我脸上带着好奇的满足，解释道：“哦，对了，我们是情侣。”

"I know."

“显而易见。”

"How?"

“怎么呢？”

"The chemistry between you guys. And the way she looks at you."

“你们之间的化学反应。还有她看你的眼神。”

Now that big smile turned into a bigger one with a trace of shyness and loads of happiness in it. When I looked at the girl's face, it was the same smile.

现在，那灿烂的笑容变成了更大的笑容，带着一丝害羞和幸福。当我看着女孩的脸时，也是同样的笑容。

As the night kicked in, we three talked for hours. I learned that they were part-timers here at night with a day-time internship and they were about to graduate from college (that definitely deserves some adult drinks to celebrate. So I bought us a round of beers). They'd been together for almost 3 years. Their love story was simple yet never short of depth in connections and richness. Young love like theirs always brought me in tears of joy and a tad of jealousy, I had to admit.

夜幕降临，我们仨聊了几个小时。我了解到他们白天做实习，晚上来着打工。他们也即将从大学毕业（这绝对值得一些成人饮料来庆祝，所以我给我们买了一轮啤酒）。他们在一起快三年了，他们的爱情故事很简单，但从不缺乏深度的链接和丰富的感情。我不得不承认，像他们这样的年轻爱情故事总能让我流下喜悦的泪水，同时也感到一丝嫉妒。

At this point of the story, I don't think my words are sincere enough to tell how much they are in love. So I have to borrow theirs. Now you be the judge while I'm beginning to reminisce about the smiles of this young couple, my newest friends--Tiw and Sine.

故事进行到这个阶段，我的词汇已经不够真诚，不足以说明他们有多相爱，所以我不得不挪借他们的词语。现在，你是评委，而我则已经开始回忆这对年轻情侣——我的新朋友Tiw和 Sine——的笑容。

"Love is like a fuel for our universe. It keeps us moving. Love can break a person, but it can also heal a person. Love creates questions, but love can be answered as well. I already found my love, but if you can't find one. Don't worry. There's always love within you."

--Tiw

“爱就像我们宇宙的燃料，它助力我们前行。爱可以伤害一个人，但它也可以治愈一个人。爱会制造问题，但爱也可以回答问题。我已经找到了我的爱，但如果你找不到，别担心，在你的心中总是能找到爱。”

——Tiw

"I'm a spoiled child. I hate when people don't think about me... I don't know how to think about other people, too. One day, my love came in my life, taught me how to think about other people. Now, I think about other people more.

and ... I think about him, my love, more than myself.

To make me be the better version of me, is this love?

Well....

I think it's LOVE! "

--Sine

“我是个被宠坏的孩子，我讨厌别人不为我着想……但我也不知道如何为别人着想。有一天，我的爱走进了我的生活，教会了我如何考虑其他人。现在，我更多地思考着其他人。

还有……我想着他，我的爱人，比我自己还多。

让我成为更好的自己，这就是爱吗？

好吧....

我认为这就是爱！”

——Sine

After writing this story, Rod Stewart's "Young Turks" was playing in my head. He is singing this love song to Tiw and Sine.

写完这个故事后，我脑中响起了Rod Stewart的“Young Turks”的旋律， 他正在为 Tiw 和 Sine 唱这首情歌。

"Young hearts, be free tonight

Time is on your side

Don't let 'em put you down

Don't let 'em push you around

Don't let 'em ever change your point of view"

“年轻的心，今夜自由

时间是你的朋友

不要让他们把你打倒

不要让他们左右你

不要让他们改变你的立场”

Written in Chiangmai, Thailand

Feburary, 22nd, 2022

作于泰国清迈

2022年2月22日

The End and the Beginning 结束和开始 By 辛波斯卡

原文链接 https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/4VeMMQN2x9CmP5VIi-AW0Q

背景音乐 Dennis Kuo - Track in Time; Simon & Garfunkel - Scarborough Fair

Riddle Apple Podcast https://apple.co/3tl9UBf  

Riddle 喜马拉雅 https://bit.ly/riddleximalaya 

Riddle Wechat Blogs https://bit.ly/riddlewechat

Riddle Instagram https://bit.ly/riddleinsta 

Patreon Page https://www.patreon.com/yuanriddle 

缠绵 Intertwined Intimacy By 曹译丹

原文链接 https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/f_JR5VXRybjMJNYzdA7cRQ

背景音乐 FKJ - Sundays

Riddle Apple Podcast https://apple.co/3tl9UBf  

Riddle 喜马拉雅 https://bit.ly/riddleximalaya 

Riddle Wechat Blogs https://bit.ly/riddlewechat

Riddle Instagram https://bit.ly/riddleinsta 

Patreon Page https://www.patreon.com/yuanriddle 

来自纽约街头陌生人的琴声 A NYC Street Stranger's Music Gift By YUAN

原文链接 https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/k0v_fOJYNzWBiiFUlsuckg

背景音乐 Jake Shimabukuro - Touch

Riddle Apple Podcast https://apple.co/3tl9UBf  

Riddle 喜马拉雅 https://bit.ly/riddleximalaya 

Riddle Wechat Blogs https://bit.ly/riddlewechat

Riddle Instagram https://bit.ly/riddleinsta 

Patreon Page https://www.patreon.com/yuanriddle 

5 years passed. Now I am back in New York. A city where I used to live and study at. A city that I used to hate and love at the same time.

5年过去了，如今我又回到了纽约，一个我过去生活和学习过的城市，一个曾让我欢喜让我忧的城市。

Despite many life changes I've gone through, the Big Apple remains the same: imposing skyscrapers, comings and goings of New Yorkers of different races, and their aloofness mixed with occasional friendliness. As an outsider, you can sense such a paradox from just their eyes even though most parts of their faces are covered by a mask in COVID time.

尽管我的生活发生很多变故，“大苹果城”一点都没变：壮观的摩天大楼，来来去去、不同肤色的纽约客，以及他们时而友善，时而冷淡的气场。作为外来者，通过他们的眼神你就能感受到他们矛盾的性格，尽管在疫情期间，他们的脸上都被口罩遮住了。

In this era of the pandemic, most have hidden their adventurous spirits in the closet of their hearts and international travels become a rarity. So my visit to New York against this backdrop had my family worried especially when the Omicron of COVID was hitting the Big Apple.

在疫情的年代，大多人都把探险的热情藏在了心中的角落，跨国旅行也不再常见。所以这次我来纽约让我的家人十分担忧，尤其是纽约正在经历着新冠的变种病毒——奥密克戎的侵袭。

Yet, I still chose to come to New York. An omen directed me here. It'd told me I should come here to find a hidden "treasure".

但是，我仍然来到了纽约。一个征兆将我带到了这里。它告诉我应该来到这去找到一个隐藏的“宝藏”。

As for whether I've found the treasure or not here, it is another story. Maybe I'll turn into a story into my first fiction. Today's protagonist is not me. It's Carlos.

至于我是否找寻到了宝藏，那是另外一个故事。可能我会把它写成我的第一部小说。但今天故事的主角不是我，是卡洛斯。

Though it was mid-December in New York, the city was still in the colors of fall. The Ginko trees alongside the narrow street of Manhattan were still dotted by their last canary leaves. Hudson River under sunset was like a crumpled napkin, showing wrinkles of orange and navy blue. New Yorkers, donning colorful garments—some even wore shorts and short skirts in day time—constituted the most lively colors in this metropolis painting. And of course, my friend and I were also fortunate dots in this picture as well.

虽然纽约已经进入十二月中旬了，但城市仍然保留着秋天的颜色。曼哈顿岛狭窄街道两旁的银杏树仍旧被金色的叶子装饰着。夕阳下的哈德逊河像一张褶皱的餐巾纸，有些褶皱挂着橘色，有些挂着深蓝。纽约客打扮各异，有些甚者白天还穿着短裤和短裙，是这一幅城市画布中最活跃的颜色。当然，我和我的朋友也有幸成为这幅画卷中的两个墨点。

It was a Friday morning. We were walking in Central Park. I was still quite spent from the recent long international flight from China to New York. Such a man-made forest in the middle of the busiest and crowded city in the world was a perfect place to forget all my traveling fatigues and sorrows in my life. My rooted shyness was defrosted a little thanks to the good company of my friend and children's laughter in the park.

那是一个周五的早上，我们在中央公园散步。由于中美的长途飞行，我的身体依旧疲惫。在世界上最繁忙和拥挤的城市中央有这样一片人工森林，对我来说，这简直是让我让忘记所有旅行疲惫和生活悲伤的完美之地。住在我心里的羞涩也因为我朋友的陪伴和公园里孩子们的笑声解冻了一些。

Then my friend decided to take me to a place in the park. Her secret go-to place. Knowing my friend well, I knew I'd be regular at this place as well even though I had no idea what'd happen and whom we'd meet in this secret spot.

我的朋友决定带我去公园的一个地方，她经常去的一个秘密地方。因为我们的熟络，她知道这个地方也会是我很喜欢去的角落，虽然我并不知道后面会发生什么，我们会碰到谁。

It was an underground hallway under a bridge. The mosaic roof and wall tiles and the Roman columns would fool you to believe that you were in Europe. In the middle of the spacious hallway sat an empty chair.

我们来到了一个桥下的地下大厅。大厅屋顶和墙壁的马赛克瓷砖以及罗马柱可能会让你以为这是在欧洲。在大厅的中央，是一张空的椅子。

"Oh, nooooo... He's not here today." My friend broke the silence in the hallway.

"Who's not here?"

"The guitarist. I take you here to listen to him." A disappointment showed in her voice.

"Aw...It's ok. We will come back for another day."

“噢，不。他今天没来。”我的朋友打破了大厅的沉默。

“谁没来？“

“弹吉他的人。我带你来就是来听他的。”她的声音中略显失望。

“哎呦。没事儿的。我们改天再来。”

We walked inside and around the hallway for a while. As we were about to find our next soothing corner in the city, a mellow sound of classic guitar made our eyes open in astonishment.

我们走进了大厅，在大厅附近转了一会。正当我们要去找寻我们在城市中下一个舒心的角落时，一段温柔的古典吉他旋律让我们吃惊的睁大双眼。

"Could it be ...?" The same inner voice asked us as we shared a look.

“难道是？”面面相觑的我们有着一个同样的心声。

It was him. A middle-aged man in his red down coat, holding his guitar that had seen better days, sat on the chair that was empty before. Even with his mask on, you could know that he was a man of many stories. His fingers were dancing fast yet softly on the guitar board, producing a very mellow version of Ryuichi Sakamoto's "Merry Christmas, Mr. Laurence". His taste in music was as good as his skill and the softness in his eyes.

确实是他，一个穿着红色羽绒服的中年大叔，抱着他陈旧的吉他，坐在之前的空椅子上。虽然他带着口罩，你能感觉到他是一个有故事的人。他的手指在琴版上轻快、温柔的跳着舞，带着柔情，他在弹着的是坂本龙一创作的“圣诞快乐，劳伦斯”。他对音乐的品味和他的琴技和眼中的温柔一样棒。

We stayed for two more tunes amidst comings and goings of others. But just as we clapped and readied ourselves to put some money in the donation box in front of him, he played another tune. A tune so familiar to Chinese ears, "The Moon Represents My Heart". My friend and I shared a look with a big reticent smile under our masks. With great appreciation to the musician, we hummed along with the guitarist's beautiful rendition of this old Chinese love song. I knew what was on her mind and so did she.

在行人来来去去的大厅，我们又听了两曲。正当我们鼓掌，准备上前在他面前的捐助盒子里放些零钱时，他又弹了一曲。一段中国听众再熟悉不过的旋律：“月亮代表我的心”。我和我的朋友会心的看了看对方，口罩背后露出笑颜。带着对音乐家极大的感恩，我们一起哼唱着这首来自中国的情歌。我知道她的所思所想，她也一样。

Finally, we walked towards him. I was still shy, but Carlos' softness in the corners of his kind eyes melted my shyness completely. Yes, his name is Carlos and he is from Chile. He'd played in this spot for the last 10 years. And his worn guitar is 28 years old, almost as good as me. But I'm sure the soul that lives in his guitar has seen and listened more than mine.

最后，我们还是走向他。我仍旧羞涩，但卡洛斯眼角的温柔彻底的融化了我的羞涩。是的，他的名字是卡洛斯，他的老家在智利。他在这个地方已经弹了十年的琴了，他的那把旧吉他也28年了，差不多赶上了我的年龄。但我确信，住在吉他里的灵魂一定比我见过更多的世面，听过更多的旋律。

Carlos asked me what I did for a living and how I liked New York now. I told him I was building my own mobile bookstore and would be living in my van while touring the world. And I told him I'd prefer to live in a quiter place than a big city like New York. He shared a story after hearing mine. It was about a homeless person he knew in the park. He used to live in the park, feeding on the overflow of leftover food wasted by the city. He told Carlos that one can never die of hunger in New York because of how much food people waste every day. Since hunger is not an issue, he moved to the mountains near New York as he wanted to live a quieter life now. Homeless as he was, but he sounded like one very happy man in the words of Carlos. Besides his music, Carlos taught me another life lesson: "choose life".

卡洛斯问我以什么为生，以及我现在对纽约的感觉。我告诉他我在建造自己的移动书屋，然后打算开着它周游世界，并且以此为家。我告诉他我更喜欢在安静的地方生活，而不是像纽约这么大的城市。在听过我的故事后，他也分享了一个故事给我。他之前在中央公园认识的一个流浪汉，他以纽约浪费的剩菜剩饭为生。他告诉卡洛斯，在纽约你是不会饿死的，因为每天都有人浪费太多的食物了。饥饿并不是一个问题，所以他搬到了纽约附近的山中居住，因为他想要一个更清净的生活。虽然他居无定所，但在卡洛斯的言辞中，他听起来是一个非常快乐的人。除了他的音乐，卡洛斯还传授给我一个人生之道：选择生活。

As a farewell gift, he played my friends' favorite composer's piece--Ennio Morricone's "Love Theme" featured in the movie "Cinema Paradiso". After this final tune, we hugged him goodbye and left with warm tears in our eyes…

临别之际，他弹了我朋友最喜欢的作曲家的曲目——埃尼奥·莫里康尼的“Love Theme”，作为礼物。在这终曲结束时，我们拥抱致意！转身离别时，泪水浸满了眼眶……

Why tears? You might ask. Nothing is more beautiful than the love flowing among humanities.  

为什么会流泪？你可能会问。没有什么能比人类之间传递的爱，更加美丽了。

冬夜 by 特拉克尔

原文链接 https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/dOlGSrPlsJEu_q33bzABfg

背景音乐 Daniel Hart - Little Notes Coldplay - Coloratura

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我想和你生活某个小镇 by 茨维塔耶娃

原文链接 https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/Ql0pzUtTVgRxK-X5Z6ZM4w

背景音乐 麗美 - Small Happiness

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