Live Well Anyway

Today on Cultivating the Lovely podcast, host MacKenzie Koppa talks with Seth Haines. Seth is a lawyer, a photographer and the author of The Book of Waking Up: Experiencing the Divine Love That Reorders a Life. He and his wife, along with their four boys live in the Ozarks. MacKenzie and Seth chat about addiction, recovery, pain, and waking up to the life God wants you to have.

• Why this book is for everyone, not just someone struggling with addiction
• Misusing God’s good gifts to numb ourselves to pain
• The power of meditating on God and finding His divine love

Every created thing is a gift from God given to us to use and to enjoy Him.

• Learning to recognize God’s quiet voice amidst painful circumstances
• Allowing ourselves to sit in the pain and wait on God to show up
• Seeing emotional pain as a signal that we need to tend to something
• Making the most of community and the tools God has provided for us to address our pain
• Seeing relationships differently once you wake up
• Being willing to see a different identity for yourself to move forward
• Waking up and recovering is a day-by-day process, not a one-time thing
• Why Seth internalized a message of scarcity and lack and how he is dealing with that today
• Seth’s routines for building in habits that will refresh and renew him
• A typical day in Seth’s life

Seth: practicing his photography skills and working on a new book idea

MacKenzie: journalling on a daily basis and getting back in the habit of writing

Affiliate links used in this content.

The Book of Waking Up

Coming Clean

O Brother, Where Art Thou

Almost Famous

You can find Seth on his website sethhaines.com. You can also follow him on YouTube,Instagram, and Twitter.

You can find MacKenzie Koppa on Instagram, Facebook, and the CTL Facebook Group, of course! Join us on Patreon at Patreon.com/CultivatingtheLovely.

This week’s episode of CTL is brought to you by Wickbox. Get $10 off your first box, go to Wickbox.co and use coupon code LOVELY at checkout.

CTL is also brought to you by ClassPass. Get your first month FREE at ClassPass.com/NEWYEARS.

On the Cultivating the Lovely podcast this week, MacKenzie Koppa interviews Rebecca Bender, author of In Pursuit of Love: One Woman’s Journey from Trafficked to Triumphant. Rebecca is a survivor of human trafficking and is now a wife and mother with a busy speaking and advocacy schedule. She is passionate about teaching and about helping others realize that their stories matter. MacKenzie and Rebecca cover a variety of topics surrounding trauma, abuse and recovery, including:

• How much MacKenzie identified with Rebecca’s story and why
• Realizing that this kind of thing can happen to anyone and having grace for other people’s stories
• How our brains are built to adapt to and cope with trauma
• The gift of using different modalities in recovery from trauma
• What it was like for Rebecca going back to Las Vegas and being in places she had been when she was trafficked
• How trauma causes us to forget and block out memories

While we might not be able to 100% relate with each other’s stories, all of us have this root of desiring to love and be loved.

• Rebecca’s new life and passion for helping people know that their stories matter
• Teaching our children to see the warning signs and take their time in relationships
• Why Rebecca decided to start a podcast

Rebecca: making time to be at with her daughters during a busy season

MacKenzie: taking time out to be extra present with her kids heading into a challenging season

(Affiliate links are used in this content.)

In Pursuit of Love

T. D. Jakes

Bethel Sermon of the Week

Expression 58

Gladiator

You can find Rebecca on her website rebeccabender.org and listen to her new Hood to Holy podcast. You can also follow her on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and Twitter.

You can find MacKenzie Koppa on Instagram, Facebook, and the CTL Facebook Group, of course! Join us on Patreon at Patreon.com/CultivatingtheLovely.

This week’s episode of CTL is brought to you by BetterHelp private online counseling. Visit BetterHelp.com/LOVELY for 10% OFF your first month of counseling.

CTL is also brought to you by the Future 1-on-1 training app. Go to TryFuture.com/LOVELY for 50% OFF your first month!

Today’s episode of CTL is brought to you by Imperfect Foods. Go to ImperfectFoods.com/LOVELY through February 16, 2020 and enter code LOVELY to get $10 OFF your next 4 orders!

On today’s episode of CTL, we continue the conversation with MacKenzie and Chelle all about their reading lives. They recap more of their favorites from 2019, and they also look ahead to 2020 and talk about what kinds of books they are excited about in the coming year. (Affiliate links are used in this content.)

• MacKenzie’s fastest reads from 2019:

CTLP Episode 141- Dealing with Toxic People with Gary Thomas

You can find Chelle Bruzas on Instagram and Goodreads.

You can find MacKenzie Koppa on Goodreads, Instagram, Facebook, and the CTL Facebook Group, of course! Join us on Patreon at Patreon.com/CultivatingtheLovely.

This week’s episode of CTL is brought to you by  BioClarity. Right now you can save 15% off everything at BioClarity.com when you use coupon code LOVELY at checkout.

CTL is brought to you by Grove. As a CTL listener, you can get a FREE 5-piece Sustainable Home starter set at Grove.co/LOVELY, plus free shipping with your first order.

This week on Cultivating the Lovely, MacKenzie Koppa and Chelle Bruzas sit down and talk about the books they read in 2019 and what their favorites were, as well as why they love Goodreads so much. This is only the first part of the conversation, so be sure to check back next week for part two in which MacKenzie and Chelle look ahead to their reading goals for 2020! Now, get your Amazon cart and TBR list ready, and sit back and listen in to this fun conversation! 

(Affiliate links are used in this content.)

• Why MacKenzie and Chelle love Goodreads
• Find and friend MacKenzie on Goodreads

CTLP Episode 141- Dealing with Toxic People with Gary Thomas

You can find Chelle Bruzas on Instagram.

You can find MacKenzie Koppa on Instagram, Facebook, and the CTL Facebook Group, of course! Join us on Patreon at Patreon.com/CultivatingtheLovely.

This week’s episode of CTL is brought to you by BetterHelp private online counseling. Visit BetterHelp.com/LOVELY for 10% OFF your first month of counseling.

CTL is brought to you by Away Travel. Visit AwayTravel.com/LOVELY20 to buy your own new favorite Away Suitcase.

Also, be sure to check out boldturquoise.com/thelovelymarket for our new Cultivating the Lovely merch! New products and designs will be added throughout the year, so come on over and do a little shopping!

Welcome to 2020 and a brand new decade! Today on Cultivating the Lovely, MacKenzie Koppa sits down with her good friend Chelle Bruzas to talk all things goal setting and New Year’s! They approach things from a different perspective, so this is a great conversation to listen in on as you start off your year! 

• How Chelle and MacKenzie approach goal setting and planning differently
  • Chelle tends toward spontaneity and focussing on people over plans
  • How Chelle thinks of Jesus carrying her through her days amidst chronic illness and exhaustion
  • MacKenzie has to approach her days with more structure and planning to provide for her family
  • She feels more fulfilled and energetic when she is working toward her goals with purpose
• Assessing where you are before you start setting new goals
• Why Chelle uses notebooks instead of a specially designed planner
• Looking at smaller time periods for planning instead of really long-range goals
• Changing habits to aim more at the type of personal you want to become
• MacKenzie gives some examples of her specific health goals and action steps to reach them
• Removing the obstacles to starting and keeping up with habits
• Keeping your habits and plans in front of you so that you don’t forget them
• Having someone to keep you accountable and cheer you on
• Replacing a habit you want to quit with a better alternative
• Chelle’s outdoor walking habit and the difference it has made for her
• Embracing our differences and helping each other through our strengths
• Chelle and MacKenzie share their Word of the Year for 2020

Cultivating Groups are now open to register for this quarter! Become a Lovely Tribe Level supporter or higher on Patreon to sign up!

Affiliate links are used in this content.

Atomic Habits by James Clear

Amy Porterfield podcast episode #295 with James Clear

You can find Chelle Bruzas on Instagram.

You can find MacKenzie Koppa on Instagram, Facebook, and the CTL Facebook Group, of course! Join us on Patreon at Patreon.com/CultivatingtheLovely.

Cultivating the Lovely is sponsored by Blume Hug Me deodorant. Get 25% off your first stick, plus free shipping, when you visit Blume.com/Cultivate.

CTL is brought to you by Plan to Eat meal planning service. Visit PlanToEat.com/LOVELY to start your free 60-day trial instead of the normal 30-day trial.

Also, be sure to check out boldturquoise.com/thelovelymarket for our new Cultivating the Lovely merch! New products and designs will be added throughout the year, so come on over and do a little shopping!

This week on Cultivating the Lovely the Podcast, MacKenzie Koppa has her dear friend Chelle Bruzas back again to chat about all things Christmas. They share some of their favorite simple ways to celebrate the holiday even when there isn’t the time and energy to do All. The. Things. This is a fun, encouraging conversations, so grab your favorite hot beverage, prop up your feet, and enjoy! (Affiliate links are used in this content.)

• Being intentional about being present instead of making a huge list and setting expectations too high
• Why MacKenzie is so thankful that she felt prompted to decorate and start celebrating early
• MacKenzie talks about the unique Crescent window displays in downtown Spokane
• Keeping a select few traditions that you always do with your family
• MacKenzie’s family recipe for Popcorn Balls:

• 2 Cups Sugar
• 2/3 cup white corn syrup
• 2/3 cup water
• 1/2 cup butter
• 1 1/2 tsp salt
• 1 1/2 tsp Vanilla
• 1 cup uncooked plain popcorn (3 quarts popped)
• food coloring, if so desired

Pop plain popcorn in a brown paper bag in the microwave 1/4 cup at a time. Pour popped popcorn into a bowl to separate out any unpopped kernels, then transfer to a large bowl or roasting pan. Keep popcorn warm in slow oven at 300 degrees.

Stir and cook corn syrup, water, butter, and salt until sugar is dissolved. Cook until 270 on candy thermometer for a hard candy shell, or 260ish for a chewier ball (what we prefer). Add vanilla and food coloring after removing from heat.

Pour candy over popcorn while stirring with a large spoon as you go to coat the popcorn evenly. You can place the roasting pan over low heat to unstick any syrup that might stick to the bottom and fully incorporate into popcorn.

Coat hands in butter to form into balls, or leave loose for easier eating. You can also coat candy molds with butter and make suckers out of the syrup.

• Chelle’s family’s favorite homemade Christmas candy- Almond Roca:

Ingredients:

• 1 cup butter
• 1 cup granulated sugar
• 1 cup chopped almonds or pecans
• 1 cup semi sweet or dark chocolate chips
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 1/2 tsp salt

1. Line a 9 x 13 cookie sheet or glass pan with parchment paper and sprinkle with 1/2 cup of finely chopped nuts.
2. Mix the butter and sugar, vanilla and salt in a sauce pan and cook over medium/high heat for around 5-13 minutes.
3. Continue to cook, stirring constanly until the candy thermometer reads “Cracked Stage” or 300 degrees F on candy thermometer or when it's dark and caramel colored and starting to smoke. This is known as the hard crack stage (about 13 minutes in). I don’t actually own a candy thermometer so I test the candy for doneness, by dropping a small amount of candy into cup of very cold water, when it’s ready it should separate into hard brittle threads.  This step will take your full attention and is the trickiest and most crucial part of the recipe.
4. Pour the caramel mixture into the cookie sheet with spatula.
5. Let it cool a just a bit and sprinkle the chocolate chips over the top, it will melt and you can spread it until smooth with a spatula.
6. Top with finely chopped almonds or pecans ( our personal favorite ).
7. Let cool completely and once the chocolate has hardened on the top, ( Some times I put the pan in the fridge or freezer to speed up this part ) use a knife to cut into small pieces.
8. Share with your family, friends, teachers, neighbors, mailman and well pretty much anyone else not already mentioned, liberally.

• Favorite Christmas music and playlists:
  • Chelle’s Spotify playlists
  • Michael Buble Christmas
  • The Grinch soundtrack
• Favorite Christmas movies:
  • It’s a Wonderful Life
  • White Christmas
  • Little Women
  • The Polar Express
  • Home Alone

• Chelle’s favorite Christmas books:

Also, be sure to check out boldturquoise.com/thelovelymarket for our new Cultivating the Lovely merch! New products and designs will be added in the coming year, so come on over and do a little shopping!

You can find Chelle Bruzas on Instagram.

You can find MacKenzie Koppa on Instagram, Facebook, and the CTL Facebook Group, of course! Join us on Patreon at Patreon.com/CultivatingtheLovely.

Today’s episode of CTL is brought to you by BioClarity. Right now you can save 15% off everything at BioClarity.com when you use coupon code LOVELY at checkout.

CTL is brought to you by Plan to Eat meal planning service. Visit PlanToEat.com/LOVELY to start your free 60-day trial instead of the normal 30-day trial.

Cultivating the Lovely is also sponsored by Honey, the smart online shopping assistant. Get Honey for free when you go to joinhoney.com/lovely.

On the Cultivating the Lovely podcast this week, MacKenzie interviews Tina McNeilly, author of the new book, La La Lovely: The Art of Finding Beauty in the Everyday. Trina is also a speaker and founder lifestyle blog, La La Lovely. She and her husband, Stephen, and their four children make their home outside Chicago, Illinois. In today’s conversation, MacKenzie and Trina talk about how to survive, and even thrive, during a hard holiday season.

• Trina shares a little of the behind the scenes of how this book was created and designed
• Why beauty is important and something we should seek
• What looking for loveliness during holidays has been like for Trina in different seasons
• Helping our children walk through hard times and finding the good things with them
• How Trina keeps the holiday season simple and keeps her faith central
• The value of small beginnings
• Giving yourself grace in how you choose to celebrate instead of sticking to some arbitrary rule
• Trina’s new resource “When the Holidays are Hard”

Trina: getting outside in nature and noticing the beauty around her

MacKenzie: listening to The Office Ladies podcast with her son and watching the episodes together

La La Lovely

Deliciously Ella

Rhythms for Life with Rebekah Lyons

10 Things to Tell You with Laura Tremaine

Growing Big People with Paul Scanlon

You’ve Got Mail

You can find Trina on her website trinamcneilly.com. You can also follow her on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, Youtube and Twitter.

You can find MacKenzie Koppa on Instagram, Facebook, and the CTL Facebook Group, of course! Join us on Patreon at Patreon.com/CultivatingtheLovely. 

CTL is brought to you by Plan to Eat meal planning service. Their big 50% OFF sale is coming November 29, 2019! Visit PlanToEat.com/LOVELY to start your free 60-day trial instead of the normal 30-day trial.

Today’s episode of CTL is brought to you by Grove. As a CTL listener, you can get a FREE 5-piece Mrs. Meyers cleaning set at Grove.co/LOVELY, plus free shipping with your first order.

This week on the Cultivating the Lovely podcast, MacKenzie Koppa and Chelle Bruzas sit down for a fun chat about their favorite Christmas gift ideas for this year. If you are needing some inspired, thoughtful gift suggestions, this is the conversation for you! All these links will take you straight to the lists on Amazon, for your shopping convenience! (Affiliate links are used in this content.)

You can also give the gift of Cultivating the Lovely to yourself or a friend by getting or gifting a subscription to our Patreon group! Cultivating Groups are going to be opening up again soon, so now is the time to join!

Roman’s Youtube Channel

Modern Mrs. Darcy Kindle Deals

Homer Reading App

You can find Chelle Bruzas on Instagram.

You can find MacKenzie Koppa on Instagram, Facebook, and the CTL Facebook Group, of course! You can also listen to her family-friendly podcast The Same Page!

Cultivating the Lovely is sponsored by Policy Genius. Go to PolicyGenius.com to find the right coverage for you and your family.

Today’s episode of CTL is also brought to you by StoryWorth. For $20 OFF, visit storyworth.com/lovely when you subscribe.

CTL is brought to you by Plan to Eat meal planning service. Visit PlanToEat.com/LOVELY to start your free 60-day trial instead of the normal 30-day trial.

On Cultivating the Lovely this week, we have a little different show than what we normally do. Our host MacKenzie Koppa's brother, Kaleb, unexpectedly passed away recently, and in light of that, she wanted to honor him and talk a little about how she and her family are coping. MacKenzie is joined by her good friend Chelle Bruzas for this conversation, in which they also share some ideas on how to support someone in the early stages of grief.

• MacKenzie shares what it was like to grow up with her brother having significant physical disabilities, primarily Spina Bifida
• She talks about the strength and courage her parents have had throughout Kaleb’s whole life
• Chelle shares a little of her own family’s story of advocating for her brother when he had leukemia
• MacKenzie shares about Kaleb’s incredibly full life and his ability to find the joy and humor in situations
• The gift that it was for MacKenzie and her children to have so much close time with her brother last year
• How much it meant for their family’s pastor to meet with them and understand their feelings
• Holding the heartbreak along with the mercy of healing and wholeness
• Facing the truth of how hard and ugly grief is instead of throwing platitudes at people
• The ways God has shown His love and provision in the midst of intense difficulty
• MacKenzie talks about her family’s tendency to choose laughter over tears, even in tough times
• She shares how important it is to give others the space to grieve in their own way
• Some practical ways that people have reached out and been a blessing:
  • Just being there to listen
  • Providing meals for the family
  • Giving flowers for the funeral
  • Helping with technology and practical aspects of the service
  • Not being offended when an offer is turned down
• Check back in next week for our more light-hearted episode featuring the Cultivating the Lovely Gift Guide! And here are the link to the gift guides if you would like to view them prior to the show-
• CTL Christmas Gift Guide for Toddlers
• CTL Christmas Gift Guide for Boys
• CTL Christmas Gift Guide for Teen Girls
• CTL Guys Christmas Gift Guide
• CTL Ladies Christmas Gift Guide

January 29, 1986-November 13, 2019

Kaleb was 33 yrs old when God reached down and scooped him up to heaven. He slipped away in his sleep on Wednesday, November 13th, 2019. Kaleb was born on January 29, 1984, and at the time of his passing lived with his parents, Jeff and Lori Koppa, in Kendall Yards in Spokane, WA. Kaleb is survived by them as well as his older sister, MacKenzie; her four children, Roman, Judah, Emmerson and Elliana; his grandparents Ida Collins, Linda Collins, Jim and Jeannette Koppa; his aunt and uncle Michelle and Rick Pettina and their son, Jackson; as well as many other loving aunts, uncles and cousins.

Kaleb had a life rich in experiences- his disability never held him back from trying new things. Though it was assumed by doctors that he may never walk, by the age of three he could walk confidently, unaided, and he did so until the age of 13 when complications from his Spina Bifida necessitated a wheelchair as his new mode of mobility. As a child he was known for his incredible memory and proficiency with electronics. He was always the guy who took care of all the technological details and foibles of his family. In his youth he acted in plays, water and snow skied, rode horses, and even tried indoor rock climbing. In high school he played on St. Luke’s wheelchair basketball team and participated twice in the Para Olympic Trials for a variety of sports including track, table tennis, weightlifting, and archery. He was even known to command the dance floor at high school dances with his amazing rhythm. After graduating from Mt. Spokane HS, Kaleb went on to receive an AA Degree in Hotel and Restaurant Management from SCC, and worked for a number of years with youth at the YMCA. 

Kaleb is best remembered, however, for his love and care for people and animals. He never realized how inspirational he was to so many and how he made us stop and embrace things we all take for granted. He left an indelible mark on everyone who met him. His infectious smile, contagious laughter, positive outlook, and penchant for doling out hugs to anyone and everyone, were hallmarks of who he was. Though Kaleb endured 24 surgical operations, his body was held together by a litany of rods, screws, bolts, and plates, and he daily faced the struggles inherent of life in a wheelchair, it’s hard to recall him ever complaining. While his body may have been broken, Kaleb was incredibly smart and possessed a sharp wit and sense of humor that, while often dry, always looked for the funny side of life. There were few things as fun as watching him have one of his uncontrollable episodes of laughter, when he would laugh until he cried, and were often brought on by even the smallest, silliest of things. People were drawn to his magnetic personality and his welcoming hugs could soften even the hardest disposition. You just couldn’t help but love his generous, kind spirit.

Special thanks go out to Don and Diane Weber, Donna Scheidt, Woody and Linda Sams, Luke Schwartz, Janice Abramson, Kathy Lipe, Mary Binder, Mary Tangi, Jackelyn Young, and Kendall Gibbs for their help with planning and preparing for the service. Our heartfelt appreciation goes out to the vast number of family and friends who have come so close in support during this difficult time. Thank you all so much. We would also like to extend thanks to a few key people who had a monumental impact on Kaleb’s life- Theresa Skinner, Dr. Joann Hillary, Tom Johnson, and Tim Olson.

Acts 3:7-8 …Taking him by the right hand, he helped him up, and instantly the man’s feet and ankles became strong. He jumped to his feet and began to walk. Then he went with them into the temple courts, walking and jumping, and praising God… We cherish our memories of you and will hold you in our hearts forever. We can’t wait to see you again… it’s only a matter of time. Jeff, Lori, and MacKenzie Koppa

You can find MacKenzie Koppa on Instagram, Facebook, and the CTL Facebook Group, of course! Join us on Patreon at Patreon.com/CultivatingtheLovely. You can also listen to her family-friendly podcast The Same Page!

Cultivating the Lovely is also sponsored by Honey, the smart online shopping assistant. Get Honey for free when you go to joinhoney.com/lovely.

Today’s episode of CTL is brought to you by BioClarity. Right now you can save 40% off the Ultimate Skin Care Bundle, plus 15% off everything else at BioClarity.com when you use coupon code LOVELY at checkout.

CTL is brought to you by Plan to Eat meal planning service. Their big 50% OFF sale is happening from November 29 – December 2, 2019! Visit PlanToEat.com/LOVELY to start your free 60-day trial instead of the normal 30-day trial.

Today on the CTL podcast, we get to listen in on a conversation between MacKenzie and author and speaker Michele Cushatt. Michele is a wife and mother of 6 who has been through the difficulties of single parenting, cancer surgeries, and other kinds of loss. MacKenzie and Michele talk about her new book, Relentless: The Unshakeable Presence of a God Who Never Leave, focussing on keeping our faith amidst life's hardest trials.

(Affiliate links are used in this content.)

• Michele talks a little about how she came to write this book through her own experience of prolonged trials
• The difficulty of holding onto faith when things don't make any sense
• Valuing the process of grappling with your doubts and taking them to God
• The importance of keeping sight of the ways God has been faithful to you in the past to help you get through the hard things in the future
• Michele's strategy for setting up "altar stones" of remembrance
• Why Michele included so much about her father in her own story
• Holding the faith amidst the realization that other believers are probably going to wound us at times
• Having been through our own difficulties help us have grace for other people who are hurting
• Recognizing that we are going to fail, but God will be faithful through it all
• Our deep fear of being aloneness and what it means for our relationship with God
• The importance of creating connections with people who will walk with us through the hard times
• Creating space for others to struggle with their faith by sharing your own vulnerabilities
• Michele's typical daily routine

Michele: enjoying drawing and writing with her new markers in her own style of gratitude journal

MacKenzie: watching Hallmark movies and enjoying decorating her house for Christmas early

Relentless by Michele Cushatt

Soul-Keeping by John Ortberg

Lord of the Rings Trilogy

Pride and Prejudice

Les Miserables

You can find Michele at michellecushatt.com, and listen to her podcast, This Undone Life Together. You can also follow her on Facebook, Instagram, Youtube and Twitter.

You can find MacKenzie Koppa on Instagram, Facebook, and the CTL Facebook Group, of course! Join us on Patreon at Patreon.com/CultivatingtheLovely. You can also listen to her family-friendly podcast The Same Page!

Today's episode of CTL is brought to you by Grove. As a CTL listener, you can get a FREE 5-piece Mrs. Meyers fall cleaning set at Grove.co/LOVELY, plus free shipping and a free 60-day VIP trial with your first order.

CTL is brought to you by Plan to Eat meal planning service. Their big 50% OFF sale is coming November 29, 2019! Visit PlanToEat.com/LOVELY to start your free 60-day trial instead of the normal 30-day trial.

Cultivating the Lovely is also sponsored by the Homer reading app. Visit learnwithhomer.com/lovely for a free 30-day trial.