Living Connected - NVC

ORBISCULATE!!! Eric was saying forbisculate and it made me laugh while editing. He didn't quite hear it over the zoom call.  Eric and I are feeling FUNdamental today and going to talk about how the awareness of our own feelings first, is the foundation to nonviolent communication. If we don’t know how to be attuned to how it is that our body feeling and what our heart is feeling it makes it challenging to understand how others are feeling. Self-empathy comes first and with that is the conscious awareness of how we feel on the inside. Noticing when an external experience stimulates us, what we are feeling and what is going on inside of us helps us connect deeper with ourselves.

Eric has been on our podcast a couple times before. Eric is filling in for Kyle as my co-host for several weeks as Kyle is preparing for his big move to Colorado. Here is a little about Eric:

Eric Huang attended a NVC International Intensive Training thinking he knew everything about NVC after reading 1/3 of the book and watching one Marshall video 3 times.   By the end of the 9 day residential training he knew nothing.  Today, the 5 seconds after thinking he knows something, the universe reminds him he still knows nothing.  Sigh.

Eric is a Licensed Professional Civil Engineer in the State of California, earned an M.S. in Civil and Environmental Engineering, has an MBA, and has worked in Silicon Valley in High Tech Marketing for 20 years on something called USB.

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Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175
 
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We will be referring to the friendship episode the time codes are down below to listen if you choose. Projecting and assuming can be tricky when it comes to NVC. When do you offer empathy, when do you ask for consent, when do you give advice, or are we even aware that we might be projecting or assuming in a conversation? We give several examples of what projection might look like to someone and how we can go about when it's happening or even after it has happened.  

Timecode: 

Jump ahead 10mins and listen for about 3.5 mins

Jump to 52:57 and listen for about 2mins

CONTACT INFORMATION:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175
 
Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

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Jose Flores is a classroom teacher committed to examining and implementing relationship based classroom practices. A classroom where there is no judgment, blame, or punishment for those whose behavior is not supporting our agreed-upon values; instead, there is an intent to identify and address the needs behind the behavior.  Replacing power over others; with power with others. 

Resources:

Student Needs Profile:

https://nvccontent.s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/Your+needs+profile.docx.pdf

Dr. William Glasser work: 

https://wglasser.com/about/dr-william-glasser/

Social Emotional Learning: 

https://www.edutopia.org/blog/why-sel-essential-for-students-weissberg-durlak-domitrovich-gullotta

CONTACT INFORMATION:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175
 
Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

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Kyle and I talk about how to maintain friendships, why some friendships drift apart and what we may need and feel when friendships have conflict. When we can drop our expectations of our friends and realize that each friendship is different we can have a friendship that flourishes.  Many times we may have different ideas of what we value when it comes to what a friendship looks like. Come and explore with us in this weeks episode. 

Resources:

1. http://powerfulmind.co/reasons-friends-drift-apart/

2. https://tinybuddha.com/blog/3-things-to-do-when-a-friendship-starts-to-fade/

3. https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/18/smarter-living/how-to-maintain-friends.html

CONTACT INFORMATION:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175
 
Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

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Sarah Peyton is a well-known author of her book “Your Resonant Self” and brings a whole different way of healing into the world.  She is also a Certified NVC Trainer. We get the honor to have a discussion with her on our show and give you Living Connected listeners a taste of her amazing knowledge and experiences. 

Resources:

Sarah's Website:

https://sarahpeyton.com/ 

Sarah mentioned: 

1. Allan Schore: http://www.allanschore.com/

2. Iain McGilchrist: https://iainmcgilchrist.com/

3. Mel Sears: https://nvctraining.com/index.php?option=com_k2&view=latest&layout=latest&Itemid=200

4. Lawrence J. Cohen PhD:  https://www.playfulparenting.com/

CONTACT INFORMATION:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175
 
Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Support the show

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Tisse Mallon is the founder and co-excecutive director of the Elar institute, a school that teaches the science of connection. 

Amy Whicker is co-excecutive director of the Elar Institute alongside Tisse. Together, they run programs which focus on emotional intelligence, applied neuroscience, and mindfulness in order to bring the community together in ways that build connection and transform the way people treat each other. 

Amy is also the leader of Connection Collaboratory, the community space of the Elar Institute, in which people gather to support and learn from one another. 

Resources:

Tisse Mallon: 
http://elarinstitute.org/

Amy Whicker:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/connectioncollaboratory

Mood Meter App – 99 cents on Apple
Words that liberate : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmPYRgi8VFg&t=8s

CONTACT INFORMATION:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175
 
Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

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How many of you find your self not feeling fully after you experienced something intense or maybe a conversation with someone...? What is it that we do instead of feeling fully maybe distract ourselves with something else. When we truly give ourselves permission to feel it truly helps us move through the hard moment and heal from it. Kyle goes through an experience he had and how he felt the experience deeply.  

CONTACT INFORMATION:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175
 
Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Support the show

Compromise is a loaded word; it can be a very complicated and complex topic to discuss. A lot of the information I have a said came from compiling information from these three websites I have provided in the description below. Many of us who are not familiar with NVC may see and define compromise differently. I know in my life I have had compromises that I didn’t really have a choice in and had to eventually accept what was dealt to me and find ways to meet needs around this choice I didn’t prefer. 

 What happens when you don’t have a good chunk of time to compromise something…it has to be dealt with quickly…Compromises may need more time. Compromises may not go your way sometimes, and compromises could have ramifications depending on the situation. What does it look like when you have a compromise with someone? 

Resources:

Marshalls Book: Nonviolent Communication: PG 162

Websites References:  

https://www.elitesingles.com/mag/relationship-advice/compromise-in-relationships

https://www.bustle.com/p/7-examples-of-compromising-in-a-relationship-according-to-experts-18669505

https://www.elitedaily.com/dating/compromises-in-a-healthy-relationship/2064738

CONTACT INFORMATION:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175
 
Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Support the show

Grey’s Anatomy Season 17 Episode 4

Kyle and I role play a scene in Grey's and go through feelings and needs and behaviors of each of the characters. This gives us a chance to walk through NVC using a scenario that very well could happen in real life. When we don't have anyone to practice NVC with, we can practice while watching TV shows or the news etc.   

CONTACT INFORMATION:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175
 
Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Support the show