Living Connected - NVC

Holly Mandel has inspired so many people in the improv work that she does. She has created programs such as the school of improv called ImprovOlution, she has a podcast and wrote a book called “Good Girls Aren’t Funny”. Her work is based on women and girls on perfectionism, limits of obeying cultural ‘shoulds’ and liberating one’s self for the sake of all women. Holly has her degree in sociology and psychology from UCLA. She was a joy to talk to and I am super excited to share our time we had together with you listeners. There are so many avenues that NVC can be integrated in and we want to explore strategies that can also incorporate NVC. The more strategies that we have in our tool belt the better. Maybe this way of looking at the world works for you.

Holly and I talk a lot about the energy that our thoughts produce and what we can manifest just by the energy we put towards certain things. What this energy is like and how energy can effect our every day mood and thoughts. Our mindset and energy can be so powerful and the changes we can see with just a bit of practice. Having this awareness of our energy can really bring in awareness to our feelings and needs in tough moments and calm moments.   


Holly’s Resources: 

1) https://groundlings.com/people/holly-mandel

2) https://www.hollymandel.com/about

3) https://www.improvolution.org/about-us

 
Book: Good Girls Aren’t Funny

https://www.goodgirlsarentfunny.com/


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 Email: [email protected]

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Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175
 
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How has closure helped you? What strategies did you use to find closure in your heart? We would love to know what worked for you, send us a voice memo or an email so we can engage with our listeners. 

The healing that comes from the clarity of closure is so healthy and important in order for us to move forward into the next chapter of our life. When we can heal and move through acceptance it allows space in our hearts to be open to the next person in a relationship. 

When I have closure I feel a sense of confidence and empowerment because I can safely move on without having heavy feelings about a person, I can be happy for the other person and go on my way. Closure meets needs for freedom, solid clarity and my perspective what once was, has changed. I mourned fully and I am ready to take on the world again. 

Resources:

Kati Morton is a licensed marriage and family therapist:

Kati Morton and Sean:  Podcast – Opinions That Don’t Matter

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWx8OnRKi0w

(I recorded a Speak Pipe and Kati played it on Episode #75 of her podcast @ 36:30mins. On the youtube version it is at 36mins. )

CONTACT INFORMATION:

 Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175
 
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My Mom passed away, and for those who follow my IG and FaceBook I made a post about it so you are caught up in real time.  I realize that I am several episodes behind so the information that I talk about is definitely several weeks prior. Bare with me as, I have fallen behind from being so overwhelmed with everything.

When we think about the Stimulus in NVC, it’s an event or situation or what a person said or did (the observation) that created a body reaction and or a feeling inside of us. The person is not the CAUSE of why our body is reacting the person would be the stimulus. The cause could be the compiled of feelings we had from another situation that happened, the cause could be our ego that is talking to us, or our jackal thoughts or judgments we had in that moment. The cause leads us to unmet needs, which then helps us understand to why we were triggered to begin with.



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 Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175
 
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BLOOPERS!!! At the secret ending lol. And with all that is going on with my mom having a month left to live, I completely forgot if I listened to this episode one time through before I exported. I would love your grace. Thanks so much.

Yvette Erasmus says “Relational wounds must be healed in relation" this means, Relational healing is the idea that because some wounds occur while in relationship with others, those wounds can only be healed through relationships with others. ... It teaches the brain that there is an alternative script for relationships, and a scab can start to form on the emotional wound.

When it comes to the needs that aren't met with my parents or dad, I want that healing and needs to be met by him. And sometimes there are times when we can't get needs met by the people we want to, we may not get to heal that part of us with the person who is in relation to us. There will be a mourning to this. Also is there an opportunity to have this part of me healed in relation with another close friend...? I'm not sure.

In this episode we talk about how there is a reverse in empathy when we are searching to heal in relation with support and the support gets turned around to the other person instead because that person gets triggered or something comes up.  And with this happening makes it hard to have needs met for empathy and support. This can happen in families, friendships, or empathy buddies, or at work etc...Navigating this can be hard.

CONTACT INFORMATION:

 Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175
 
Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

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Punishment / reward has been a strategy that people all over the world have used to get others to do what we want them to do. Does it work for the moment that there is discomfort in trying to figure out how to stop what is happening? Are there long term affects in the human psyche from the punishment method? Using domination “power over” rather than “power with” can be a strategy that often dismisses feelings and we learn that feelings are not acceptable. 

Children experience these kinds of situations over and over in a dominance/obedience culture, with a child’s experience of not given a way to express their feelings authentically, they remember it in their bodies, and when they feel fear, or helplessness, this is the feeling that returns to them. This is how the idea, the practice, the strategy of dominance leads to trauma in childhood.

Join us in exploring this topic of Domination Culture that we are surrounded by in our society. 

CONTACT INFORMATION:

 Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175
 
Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

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Season 2: This episode will be part one of a three part series with David Weinstock. Here is David’s Biography. 

 David Weinstock is executive director of Liminal Somatics, a Somatic Coach through the Strozzi Institute and Stuart Heller’s Five Rings Coaching Institute and originator of Somatic Consensus.  He is a certified international trainer of Nonviolent Communication and author of Becoming What You Need: Practices for Embodying Nonviolent Communication. David is also a master goldsmith(www.goldmuse.net) and has taught the peaceful art of Aikido for over 40 years.  He leads training locally and around the world, in his community, schools, prisons, organizations, and businesses. 

David and his wife Judith, along with 8 other families, co-founded an intentional community where they have raised their family since 1990. They have devoted their adult lives to generating Community and committing themselves to an integrated and intentional way of living. All of David’s work--in particular his present organization, Liminal Somatics--is based on building our connection to one another and toward a healthy stewardship of the earth. He is committed to developing our capacity to value what each of us brings to the circle, to reclaim community and value diversity for the sake of creating a nurturing world for generations to come.

In this part one episode we talk about the foundations of the NVC practice with Aikido and take you through some examples of what that looks like. David has a different approach to connecting with feelings by integrating our body sensations. Our bodies hold emotions and trauma and there are ways to heal these parts of ourselves so we can live a better life. 

Resources:

Davids Book:
1) https://www.amazon.com/Becoming-What-You-Need-Communication/dp/1973115492/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=Becoming+what+you+need&qid=1625252684&sr=8-1

2) www.liminalsomatics.com

3) www.goldmuse.net

CONTACT INFORMATION:

 Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175
 
Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

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SECOND SEASON COMING JULY 13th!!! WOOT WOOT!

Vulnerability is can be defined in different ways depending on how you see the word. For me, vulnerability is the willingness and openness to express emotion or share your heart with someone you feel safe with and trust. When we are talking about being emotionally exposed in some way and the possibility of being judged, or criticized, we may find ourselves using survival skills or defensive mechanisms to protect us in some way. This often times can stop us from being vulnerable. In our society we are taught to not show weakness and to show weakness might be crying, to express our messy emotions fully, maybe feeling shame can be seen as weak or showing that we are scared and uncomfortable. I want us to change the way we look at vulnerability. Vulnerability is what connects us, it’s strength and bravery and it’s a hard thing to do. Even using NVC sometimes can be vulnerable. Join Eric and I in this conversation.

Resources:

Book:

Sarah Peyton “Your Resonate Self” 

CONTACT INFORMATION:

 Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175
 
Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

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HOORRAYYY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF PODCAST! Let's Celebrate!

Asking for consent can show up in so many different ways in our lives. When dealing with my podcast, it’s essential to ask for consent when sharing something on the podcast that belongs to someone else. When I have shared emails, or comments from listeners it’s because I have asked for their consent. Sometimes, it’s good to ask someone if they want a hug when they are crying or upset. Asking for consent can just be a question of “How can I best support you right now” maybe give a couple examples of listening or hugging, or lets go walk and talk. Consent can show up at work, with your kids, with your parents, friends, or intimate relationships. 

It’s so important to know when we are feeling confused or conflicted on how to respond because that could be the clue for us to ask for consent in that situation. I have come to realize that I will be setting an intention to practice this more. Join Eric and I as we explore this topic.

CONTACT INFORMATION:

 Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175
 
Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

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Levels of intensity can relate to how high or intense your emotions are, how intense is this situation I am in, or how is my body reacting to this experience in this now moment. We can use the levels of intensity scale to figure out where we are. Sometimes I find it easier to connect with a number when I am thinking in terms of capacity. If I am at 20% capacity and my self-awareness of my energy is really low, then showing up for others may not be where I would like it to be. The level of intensity is a scale from 0 to 5. If the lake was like glass and so still that would be considered a zero or 1. When we get up to 4 or 5 that is like the biggest 50ft wave going to crash down on you. We can’t handle this, our lid is flipped and there is no calming down, at that point of intensity we just gotta ride the wave. Come and enjoy the calm waters with Eric and I today.   
 
 CONTACT INFORMATION:

 Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175
 
Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

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There are three steps to get to emotional liberation that Marshall Rosenberg describes in his book. Eric and I discuss each step and as we do that we are both learning more about what it means to find that emotional liberation. We don’t have control over someone else’s feelings or emotions.  We can’t change how someone feels about something. We can have awareness of our own feelings. We can change or control how we feel, react or respond. Ideally we want to communicate effectively to connect in a way that lets the other person know how we feel and that their needs are important as well. Let’s Walk through these stages together to gain a better understanding.   

Resources:

https://about-nvc.tumblr.com/post/98642157391/from-emotional-slavery-to-emotional-liberation-the

 https://orncc.net/article/moving-towards-life-serving-responsibility-nvc

CONTACT INFORMATION:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175
 
Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Support the show