Living Connected - NVC

This episode is going to address the questions that one of our listeners emailed us about. Here is what our Living Connected Listener said:

"How to "keep the tank full" so that the intention to lead with curiosity, care, and empathy can happen more often.  Is that through self-empathy? Is that through outside empathy (i.e. God or others)? Or maybe it is how to tap into the power within (feelings, needs/values?) and keep awareness and empathy flowing.  What is that power exactly? How can I nurture it so I can meet my need to give and be generous more? Self-empathy isn't the same as what is alive in us - just a way to access it?  How does vision tie into what is alive in us - esp. concerning accessing it. How does our meta-narrative/world-view effect what is alive in us?"
   
There are so many external things happening in our life that it can be hard to keep our tank full so that we can show up for others that count on us. We give some our own personal tips on how to do that. Knowing what your love language is to possibly connecting with friends for empathy or to vent can be extremely helpful when trying to keep our tank full. What do you do to keep your tank full?

I hope this inspires some of you who listen to write in with any ideas, questions, topics that you have been exploring lately. We would love to hear from you. 

CONTACT INFORMATION:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175
 
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Love, what an in depth word, there is no way to discuss love in ALL its entirety. We could have so many episodes just on this word alone. Have you ever been in love before? Do you know what it’s like to feel love for someone you care about ? Or are you still a bit confused on what love actually is and what it might feel like. Love can be so different between relationships you have. Love can even look different in different cultures. Perhaps someone isn't ready to love, I know in my situation that was true. Maybe it comes down to loving ourselves first.

Kyle and I explore the word love and possibly it’s actions towards someone and or ourselves. Is love a feeling really or are there other feelings that are a partner to love. Is love a need and or is love a strategy? What do we do in the name of love? What is your experience with love?

CONTACT INFORMATION:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175
 
Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

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CUP OF EMPATHY!!!!

We have a wonderful guest on today’s episode her name is Marianne and she helps people to take care of themselves while being in relationships, in particular love relationships. She bases herself on NVC mostly, and currently has the biggest YouTube channel worldwide about this topic. 

 We get to explore ways to communicate using NVC when we are in the bedroom with our partner. Marianne gives may tips on what that might sound like when it comes to sex in or outside the bedroom.  How do we talk about sex? How do we say things when we are interested in trying something new out? How do you express your discomfort about something you have tried and don’t like? How do you tell someone you have an STI? How do we make talking about sex less taboo? All of these questions are so important and I hope this episode helps you with some of them. 

Resources:

Marianne’s Information: 

Website: 

https://cupofempathy.com/

YouTube: 

https://www.youtube.com/c/CupofEmpathy/featured

CONTACT INFORMATION:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175
 
Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

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Suzanne worked as a pediatric occupational therapist after expressing herself as a recreational therapy assistant, stagehand puppeteer and perennial college student.

As an occupational therapist, she helped children develop skills for daily life; with the intent of teaching them to become their own best advocate.

And with practicing NVC is growing into a person that is capable of doing this for herself.  She hopes you find this podcast conversation curious and enjoyable.

We use the movie and the book “Where the wild things are” as a base of our conversation because the book demonstrates a lot of emotions that a child can have and behaviors that can happen when children don’t know how to express what they want and need. Anger is a part of our big emotions and children express anger differently. We often time have many other feelings and needs underneath our anger. As Children are growing up they develop ways to communicate what their needs are and sometimes it’s through anger. Children are also learning how to self-regulate when these big emotions happen.  Here we go.   

Resources:
Cup of Empathy – NVC Chart - https://youtu.be/fQzDnlizQjY

Books:

1) Rebecca Patterson - “My No No No Day” -
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaYko8CS6jE

2) Carol Tavris – “Anger: The Misunderstood Emotion”

3) Harriet lerner – “Dance of Anger”

4) Maurice Sendak - "Where the Wild Things Are"

CONTACT INFORMATION:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175
 
Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

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We are going to be talking about comparing and what it looks like in our society. When we find ourselves comparing a lot of times it comes with suffering. Other times, comparing can help inspire us and move us towards a more positive outlook. There are many feelings and needs that arise in us when we do either the positive way of comparing or the way that doesn’t serve us. We go into what some of those feelings and needs are and what we can do to be more aware of this way of thinking. 

In the beginning of check in a told a story of an experience I had, and being so riled up, I didn’t get a chance to say, people are in dyer times right now and people are doing what they need to do to survive. Sometimes we do things we wouldn’t normally do and in this case, perhaps it was to feed her children. There can be some compassion in this situation.  

 Resources:
 Podcast:

 Brené Brown, March 26th – Comparative Suffering: 

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/unlocking-us-with-bren%C3%A9-brown/id1494350511?i=1000469683601

 Websites: 

https://www.envisionwellness.co/comparative-suffering-bad-for-you-bad-for-them/

https://center-chicagocbm.com/blog/2020/4/20/comparative-suffering-is-dangerous

CONTACT INFORMATION:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175
 
Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

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2021 HERE WE COME!!

We are in a new year and what this year may bring I have no idea. Everything seems so uncertain and has been for a long while now. We are going to talk about what needs we want to manifest for this new year. And as the world is changing our needs just might change too. When we want to manifest something in our life we gotta believe it deep down. We gotta believe that our need already exists. If we are vibrating at a lower level then manifesting what we want may not happen. Let us bring in the New Year with believing in ourselves and believing what we want to the core and drop all the stories that come with so that we can vibrate at a higher frequency.

CONTACT INFORMATION:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175
 
Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

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HAPPY New Year Everyone!!! Here we are in 2021!

Morris H Ervin, Jr. is an educator, entertainer, motivational speaker, and Youth Development Professional committed to helping the youth, families, communities, and institutions “turn fear into strength, and pain into passion.” Morris is the founder of Mansa Consulting and he has provided assemblies, workshops, mentoring programs, and leadership camps/retreats to thousands of students in over a dozen school districts across the country. The core of Morris’s philosophy is deeply rooted in Social Emotional Learning, Contemplative Education, and Restorative Practices. 

Morris has spread his excitement, optimism, and passion to schools, churches, community centers, juvenile detention camps, colleges, and universities from the east to the west coast. Mansa Consulting has partnered with organizations such as FAMLI INC, Peace Over Violence, Making A Difference Consulting, and The California Conference for Equality and Justice providing Teen Summits that shape and empower our future leaders of tomorrow. 

Resources:

Cup of Empathy: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2AK8ipP18I0alKXZXJgzbQ

CONTACT INFORMATION:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175
 
Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

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MERRY CHRISTMAS!! See you next year! Returning Jan 5th.

Hearing a NO after a request you have asked can be just as hard as telling someone a no. There are some things you may want to check when you hear a NO from someone:

1)   Notice the stories we are telling ourselves when we hear the no.

2)   Am I attached to the strategy to get this need met?

3)   Did you pause before responding to the NO

4)   Am I willing to open a dialog with this person and get curious on why, on what are they saying yes too and is there an outcome that can work for the both of us. 

5)   Am I hanging on to this one person to meet my needs. Or is there someone else who can help me fulfill the needs I have. 

When someone asks a request of you, you may need to check in with yourself after hearing this request so you can make a decision that best fulfills you. 

1)   can I do this request with ease?

2)   Do I have the capacity for this? 

3)   What is it that I want because I want to say yes coming from a space of unconditional not from a space with obligations. 

When you need to say NO, you do not feel guilty. You then acknowledge that you are saying YES to meeting your own needs in some way. For me, this is a way of self-care, getting attune with what your body and mind may need in that moment.

 Resources:

 https://thefearlessheart.org/saying-no-without-saying-no/

CONTACT INFORMATION:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175
 
Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

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Karen Starz takes us through what it is like to work in spiritual communities using NVC.
Karen is a CNVC Certified Trainer, she is a consultant, coach, speaker, and facilitator. Her background spans many areas, from interpersonal relationships to businesses and non-profit organizations.
Her approach to Nonviolent Communication is based on embodying the whole of nonviolent consciousness to create an automatic, empathic, somatic response, and awareness.

Resources:

Book: Practical Spirituality: The Spiritual Basis of Nonviolent Communication By: Marshall Rosenberg

Workshop Information: https://karenstarz.com/      &      https://houstonnvc.org/

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175
 
Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

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There is a difference between our inner critic and self - judgments that I wasn't aware of. We take you through this exploration with compassion. There are ways to quiet our inner critic and shift our thinking when our inner critic is hard at work. How much of our inner critic do we believe? Do you think it is true? What can we say differently that would be more gentle to our heart?

If I were to say to myself, "I am the worst friend that has ever lived! I have done this and this, I am horrible" And I believe it to my core and live with this day by day... then that is my inner critic shaming me for all the awful things that I am. We want to get out of that way of thinking and find ways that aren't gonna keep you suffering. We want to love ourselves unconditionally and to do that we need tools to support that journey. I hope there are a couple of take aways for you that you can implement into your daily life.   

Resources:

https://ideas.ted.com/how-to-stand-up-to-your-inner-critic/

Book: Games People Play – by Eric Berne

Hand model of the brain - http://drickerich.blogspot.com/2018/12/the-hand-model-of-brain.html

 
Workshop Information: karenstarz.com

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/LivingConnectedNVC/

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175
 
Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

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