Living Connected - NVC

Do you need some help on how to listen in a deeper meaningful way when talking about hard conversations? Listening is so very hard. And the way our society has learned to listen doesn’t help people feel heard. When we pause, this allows for us to find what is alive in us (our feelings and needs) and it allows the other person to empty all that is alive inside of them. This episode has many tips and tricks for you, so you can practice with the next person you are having a hard conversation with.

Resources:
Podcast: A Bit of Optimism with Simon Sinek : Episode 11 : “Extreme Listening with Deeyah Khan

NVC – Festival info:
https://nvctraining.com/registration/aff/go/kstapes?i=100  

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/Living-Connected-NVC-100595818434771

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We dive in with Kristen to talk about her experiences with race and how we can be mindful of our own racism. Being accountable for what we say to people of color and how impactful it can be. How do you restore and fix what you said to this person. How can we be better for the future. We all need to be apart of this change that we want to see in the world. NVC might be able to shine some light on how to move through this tough time with people.

NVC – Festival info:
https://nvctraining.com/registration/aff/go/kstapes?i=100  

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/Living-Connected-NVC-100595818434771

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175
 
Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

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Description: Needs VS Strategies is a Key Distinction in NVC. All of the behaviors we do are attempts to meet our needs. We have strategies that meet those needs. Sometimes our strategies don't necessarily work and disconnect us from the other person or ourselves. Kyle and I explore how this concept works or may not and how needs and strategies can be interchangeable. We have to remember that there are options to meeting needs.
 
 NVC – Festival info: 

https://nvctraining.com/registration/aff/go/kstapes?i=100  

• click Live NVC courses
• side tab that says November 
• scroll down until you find the NVC - Festival

Resources:

https://www.healingmindsandhearts.com/2013/05/28/needs-vs-strategies/#:~:text=What's%20the%20difference%20between%20needs,to%20circumstances%20people%20and%20situations.

https://static1.squarespace.com/static/55a71473e4b090dbd9813dc1/t/576e2adfe58c62d50f913feb/1466837727946/Discussing+Needs+Before+Strategies+2.pdf

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/Living-Connected-NVC-100595818434771

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175
 
Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

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This episode is an emotional one. Grief can come in many different ways and the losses we have endured in our life time can become overwhelming. I have broken up with my bf. He was very dear to my heart and still is. Life is messy and vulnerable sometimes. Life cannot be happy all the time. Kyle and I lean into grief and explore ways on how we work through tough times. We find needs and feelings that I have been processing.

I want to say to our listeners that I want to start putting in the description the resources we used to research about the topic other than our own knowledge. I want to give credit to those websites used.

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/Living-Connected-NVC-100595818434771

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175

Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

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KIDS EPISODE!!

This is a children friendly episode. I understand that the episode might be too long for some younger listeners. Feel free to listen in two chunks if that helps the attention span.

We will be giving examples of judgements other kids have come up with and sharing them.  We will discuss what the kiddos might be feeling, needing and some alternative growth mindset statements that might be more helpful instead of the judgement.

If you are a parent listening with your child, you can pause the episode and talk about what feelings come up when your child hears the judgment then press play to see if you came up with the same. There are no wrong answers because everyone may feel differently. Have some fun with it.

We are still getting used to creating kid friendly episodes. I am sure as we do it more the better they get. Thank you for your patience and understanding.

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/Living-Connected-NVC-100595818434771

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175

Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

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Being giraffe is sometimes called Being compassion and Doing giraffe is sometimes called Doing Compassion. We are going to talk about what it looks like Being a Giraffe and what it looks like Doing Giraffe. We will role-play a scenario of what it sounds like doing giraffe. To give heads up, I have exaggerated the conversation playing the role as my dad. 

 In NVC Being Giraffe is Being honest towards myself moment by moment by recognizing what is going on inside myself and expressing this while trying to empathically listen to what’s alive in another person.

 "Doing Giraffe" means focusing on how it "should be" and analyzing how others act and talk according to "NVC-Standards" and therefore correcting them when they are "wrong"

Resources:
1) https://en.nvcwiki.com/index.php/Being_giraffe_vs._Doing_giraffe
2)https://www.harmonyoftheheart.com/2014/03/being-giraffe-vs-doing-giraffe.html
3) https://www.compassionateconnecting.com/

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/Living-Connected-NVC-100595818434771

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175

Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

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We are going to talk about the judgements or the jackals we have with ourselves and towards others. Judgements are the criticisms we hear, the blame we put on others, put-downs, labels, and or insults. Judgments sometimes are the actions that we think someone is doing something to us. Marshal says, “judgements are a tragic expression of an unmet need.” Kyle and I take our judgements and find the feelings and needs that lie underneath.

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/Living-Connected-NVC-100595818434771

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175

Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Support the show

I called Kyle to do an Emergency Empathy Buddy with me and because it was last minute he didn’t have his normal mic with him. Thank you for understanding that this episodes sound quality isn’t the best. We hope you bear with us and can still get an idea of how to give empathy to someone who is in need and in high stress. This episode is about me (Kady) getting a text from landlord that said I will be getting a 90 day notice for the apartment I am renting.   

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/Living-Connected-NVC-100595818434771 

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175

Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Support the show

There are some sayings in our life that we hear that end up defining certain people. We want to unravel 3 of these identifying sayings and reveal what our feelings and needs are. We have, the don’t ask don’t tell, the people pleasers and the nice dead person. We will discuss how these might affect us in our daily lives and how we can train our brain to connect with our heart.

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/Living-Connected-NVC-100595818434771

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175

Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Support the show

We are going to talk about how sometimes we just don’t have the capacity for the people in our lives. When our capacity or our tank is empty and that person comes to us needing to vent and be heard It can be really hard when we don’t have it in us to give the empathy we would like. 

How do we go about giving empathy when we feel depleted ourselves? Does our support come off authentically when we aren’t in a good place inside ourselves? Is there a way to not get tired when empathy is needed for another and be present for that person fully? Nonviolent Communication has some strategies that might help guide us through this exhausting time.

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: livingconnectednvc

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/Living-Connected-NVC-100595818434771

Website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175

Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Support the show