Living Emunah

There are times when we make requests from others, but they deny those requests. We may feel that it would have been so easy for them to do what we were asking, and therefore we become insulted that we were denied. Other times we try to get in touch with people by calling them or emailing them and they don't respond and, once again, we get insulted. If we would only take to heart more that the only One who decides if our requests are accepted is Hashem, and the only One who decides if our phone calls are answered is Hashem, then we would save ourselves so much pain and heartache and instead gain tremendously in our avodat Hashem by showing our belief in His control. I read a story in the Be'er HaParasha that took place just a week ago. A young man got an infection in his blood which spread to the heart and required him to undergo a surgery to fix it. He was going to have to stay in the hospital until the surgery and his friends wanted to do something to give him chizuk . They decided they were going to make a big dinner with music and have Divrei Torah that would lift his spirits. The hospital, however, refused to give them a room that would accommodate what they were trying to accomplish, especially since they didn't even allow visitors during the evening hours. They tried getting influential people to get the hospital to make an exception, but they were unsuccessful. The hospital did agree to allow the patient to leave the hospital for a couple of hours to a nearby location, and so immediately his friends tried to book the only hall next to the hospital, but they found out it was already taken. They tried to think of other venues close by, but nothing worked out. There were three school buildings in the neighborhood and they tried to get in touch with the principals of those three schools to see if they would allow them to use one of those buildings. None of the three principals answered their phones. The friends then got respected rebbes who taught in those schools to call the principals, but even with them calling there was no answer. One of the rebbes had an idea to ask one of the parents from the schools who lived in that neighborhood to allow them to use their house. A few phone calls were made and, finally, a parent agreed. When he found out that they were doing a chesed for a sick patient in the hospital, he insisted on paying for all of the expenses involved. They had the dinner there and, indeed, it was a beautiful event that gave the patient a lot of chizuk . It was interesting, right after this man volunteered his house, all three principals called back to see what the rebbes who called needed. But they were no longer needed for the schools. During the dinner, the host asked about what sickness the patient had. They told him it was a very rare blood infection. The host then said his neighbor had the exact same rare infection and he called him to come over right away. The neighbor came and gave them so much information that he discovered in his fight with that illness. He gave them a lot of chizuk and the information he shared with them helped them tremendously. At that moment, they saw how Hashem guided them to that very house where the one person who knew about this illness would help them. The hospital denying their requests even after the influential people interceded was the hand of Hashem. The principals not answering their phones to allow their schools was the hand of Hashem. This is always the way it is. It's just here we saw one of the reasons why Hashem was denying their requests and making those people not answer their phones. We should never get insulted when people don't reply to us or don't help us because it's always m’et Hashem and it's always for our best.

The Gemara in Masechet Berachot daf 20 says the earlier generations merited to have miracles done for them because of the great self-sacrifice which they put forth in their service to Hashem. The harder it is to do something, the more valuable it becomes. It says in Tehillim perek 44 כי עליך הורגנו כל היום - which Rabbi Yehuda HaChassid interpreted David HaMelech to be saying, we do the mitzvot even though at times we may suffer humiliation as a result, which is considered as if we are sacrificing our lives. And following that statement, David HaMelech then requested קומה עזרתה לנו – please arise Hashem and help us now. Because David HaMelech knows mesirut nefesh elicits extra help from Hashem. When it's hard for a person to do any type of avodat Hashem, he should look at it as a great opportunity to soar to spiritual heights and gain so much more than he would have had it been easy for him. There are times when people are very upset about what is happening in their lives, and they don't want to pick up a siddur and pray to Hashem. They must realize, at those times, they could accomplish the most with their tefilot because it's so hard to do. When someone who wants to turn away from Hashem overcomes his feelings and gets even closer to Him, that is mesirut nefesh on the highest level and that can produce miracles. Any mitzvah which requires a great deal of strength to accomplish becomes so much more valuable. I read a story in the Machon Shaar HaBitachon that was told by Rav Tzvi and this is what he said: Exactly three years ago, our life came to a standstill. My daughter, a young mother of three, was diagnosed with cancer and we went to war battling for her life. The entire family rallied to help and we, her parents, did everything we could possibly do. At one point, my wife traveled with my daughter to the U.S. for a surgery that could potentially save her life. The morning after they set out, I was sitting in shul when I heard a simple, hardworking man tell his friend how his feelings were so hurt the previous day when an acquaintance of his shamed him terribly. He was so hurt that he announced, "I will never forgive that man. Never!" I suddenly recalled the immense power of forgiveness, how people who forgive others are called beloved to Hashem. So I went over to that man and I said, "My daughter traveled yesterday to the United States for a surgery that we are hoping will save her life. You have power in your hands now, you could save her life. Please, please forgive that man. Please do it for my daughter." The man looked at me. "I hear what you're saying," he said, "it's a very painful situation, but what could I do? My feelings were hurt so terribly. It's impossible for me to forgive him. My heart is bleeding, please understand." "You don't have to forgive him on the spot," I told him, "I understand you went through a horrible experience. I can't even begin to place myself in your shoes. But please, I beg you to at least think about it. You now have a chance to save a young Jewish woman's life. Perhaps you could rethink it and let me know." Five minutes later, the man came back and said, "Okay, I decided I'm going to forgive him. He then called two other people over as witnesses and he said, "I forgive that person with all my heart and soul. In the merit of my forgiving, may this man's daughter become completely healed." He then said out her full Hebrew name and I thanked him profusely. The operation went better than expected. Baruch Hashem, my dear daughter was completely cured and a few months ago, against all of the doctors' predictions, she gave birth to healthy twins. הודו לה' כי טוב כי לעולם חסדו. When I told that man about what had transpired, he said to me, "I invested all of my emotional stamina to forgive that person and, believe me, even though it was so hard to do, it was well worth it. Look what I got in return." When something is very hard and requires a lot of mesirut nefesh , instead of turning the other way, we should view it as our opportunity to shine and earn unimaginable rewards.

Financial problems can be very difficult to deal with. A person may have tried so many ways to make more money, but nothing has worked. To make matters worse, he finds himself in enormous debt and doesn't see any way of getting out of it. He still needs money to cover his current expenses, but there's nowhere left to turn for help. He has prayed. He has made hishtadlut. He has worked on his emunah. He has improved his deeds. What is left for him to do? One advice is to improve more on having the emunah that Hashem can take care of all his financial issues in an instant. Honestly believing to the point that it affects the heart and calms the person down is a very big zechut. Money is nothing for Hashem. The midrash says a student of Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai left the yeshiva and became very wealthy. Seeing that the other students were envious, the Rabbi took them to a valley and said, “Valley valley, become filled with gold coins.” The valley started flowing with gold. The Rabbi then impressed upon his students that the money had no value in comparison to the Torah they were learning and the World to Come. It's something that we need to get by with, but it's not a goal in itself. When someone is in great need of funds, his best option is to strengthen his emunah and pray with the real belief that Hashem can help him despite what it seems. Rabbi Gamliel Rabinovich told a story that he heard firsthand from a ba’al teshuva named Roni, who married a righteous convert and built a family with children who were yirei shamayim. They lived in dire poverty, but never complained. They always strengthened each other in emunah and bitachon. They did have one wealthy relative who they reached out to help for, but he denied them saying, “You chose this lifestyle now you have to live with it.” One day Roni, who then became known as Aharon, decided he needed to do some hishtadlut to earn parnasa. He set aside time every day from his learning to pursue a livelihood. Before he became a ba’al teshuva and went into learning full-time, he used to be a real estate broker. So he decided to give that another chance. He made some inquiries and one of his friends told him about a huge building that the sellers were asking forty million dollars for. The building had been on the market for quite some time with no potential buyers in sight. The friend said, “They have been stuck with that building for years and would most definitely give a large commission if someone could sell it for them.” Aharon went to speak to the property owners. They gave him all the details about their building and allowed him to be a broker for it and told him about the commission. Aharon put his trust in Hashem and made a hishtadlut by putting an ad in a local newspaper for the building, with the addition, “Serious prospects only.” The newspaper's secretary put in the ad even though she secretly laughed at it. This was a prime piece of real estate, the kind that the best realtors sold to the wealthiest magnates, not some joe who stuck a tiny little ad in a local newspaper. The ad ran, and wonder of wonders, one evening Aharon received a call from the owner of a respectable real estate company wanting to hear about the property. Aharon scheduled a meeting to show him the building and, lo and behold, they signed a deal for it. Each side paid Aharon 1.5%, for a total of 1.2 million dollars. When this sale became known, everyone wondered which successful realtor managed to make that elusive deal. From then on Aharon became the address for real estate investors, both buyers and sellers, closing on very lucrative deals. Hashem can help everyone in an instant. It is up to us to feel empowered, knowing that we have Hashem with us who can take care of all our needs in an instant.

Our job in this world is to become the best ovdei Hashem we can possibly be. In order to achieve that, our motive has to be concern for Hashem's will, not our will. Sometimes we may be fighting for something spiritual with the mindset that we're doing it for Hashem. But deep down, we're really interested in ourselves. I heard a beautiful idea from Rabbi Efrem Goldberg, which I would like to explain with a mashal. Imagine a family was making a 90th birthday celebration for their father. They gather together the entire family, including children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. During the party, they sit their father down next to their mother, and they tell them they have a special surprise. They're going to put on a skit depicting the lives that they led. The father watches with great joy as his family acts out various situations that he had experienced in his lifetime. The father has so much nachat, seeing his entire family honoring him in that way. Then, all of a sudden, one of the younger siblings begins yelling at an older sibling, saying, “Why do you always get to play the role of daddy, and why does your wife always play the role of mommy? Why did you give us smaller parts, while you took all the bigger parts?” The joyous atmosphere comes to an abrupt halt. Everybody becomes tense, and the celebration is ruined. It may appear that this younger brother wants to also bring honor to his father by playing a larger part in the skit, but if he really cared about his father's honor, he would have kept his mouth shut and played his role happily. Deep down, he was really concerned with his own honor. When we get together as a congregation to do an avodah for Hashem, like tefilah, we mustn't forget the real goal: Bringing honor and glory to Hashem. When a minyan takes place, Hashem loves that everybody congregates to pray to Him. He loves that there's a chazan, and a ba’al koreh, and a rabbi giving a devar Torah. He loves that there's an aliyat Kohen, and an aliyat Levy, and an aliyat Yisrael. We can't imagine how much nachat we bring our father in shamayim, when we come together with unity to do His avodah. But sometimes a congregant will get upset that he is rarely invited to be chazan, or he is rarely given an aliyah, and he may even have an outburst, expressing his anger over the unfairness of how things are done. On the surface level, he will say he also wants to have the zechut to bring Hashem glory by getting an aliyah, or he also wants to bring Hashem glory by leading the tefilah. But if he really cared about his Father, he would sit down and accept what role he is given. He should take pride in the knowledge that his Father is enjoying his children uniting to serve him. By making an outburst or complaining, kavayachol , he's ruining his father's party. Imagine in the mashal we gave, it was the father himself who chose who he wanted playing each role in the skit. How much more foolish would that younger sibling look by challenging the other siblings? This is exactly the way it is in every area of life. Our Father, Hashem chooses who He wants to do what. The people are just his messengers. If we are worried about getting more zechuyot, the best merit we can get is by accepting what Hashem wants us to do and doing it happily. If a congregant is not chosen to get an aliyah and it hurts him, he'll get more reward by accepting that Hashem is not calling upon him to get the aliyah than he would get by actually getting an aliyah. Hashem chooses everything and He has a different role for everyone to fulfill. If we fulfill our role happily, we will bring the greatest honor to the Melech and He will reward us accordingly.

Towards the end of this week's parasha, Chukat , there was a tragic incident in which the Jewish People spoke negatively against Hashem and against Moshe. Hashem sent fiery serpents to bite them and a large multitude of the people died. The remainder made teshuva and asked Moshe to pray to Hashem to stop the plague. Hashem then told Moshe to make a fiery serpent and place it on a pole and whoever would look up at it would be healed of his snake bite. The Gemara asks, do snakes have the power to bring life? And it answers, the idea was that the Jews should look up towards Heaven and subjugate themselves to Hashem and that's what would bring about their healing. The sefer Vaveh H'amudim brought a question, if the main thing was looking towards Hashem, then what was the point of putting the snake on the pole? They should have just been told, "look up and subjugate yourselves to Hashem." Rav Chaim Volozhiner answered this question based on the famous segula he brings down in his sefer Nefesh HaChaim , shaar 3. "Indeed, it is a great and wondrous segula to remove and nullify all strict judgments and wills of other people so they can have no power over him and no impact on him whatsoever, when a person decides in his heart, saying, 'Hashem is the true G-d and there is nothing besides Him in this world and the Upper Worlds. אין עוד מלבדו . Everything is filled with only His unity.' As well, the person nullifies in his heart with a complete nullification and does not pay any attention at all to any power or will in this world and submits himself and clings to the purity of his thoughts that the One and only G-d is Hashem. Then, Hashem will nullify for him all the powers and desires in this world so that nothing can be done to him whatsoever." With this in mind we can understand why the Jews had to look at the image of the very snake which bit them. They needed to stare at the object which inflicted harm upon them and then honestly believe that it had no powers of its own. That is how they subjugated themselves towards Hashem and in that merit they were healed. It's very easy to say the words אין עוד מלבדו , but to see in front of one's eyes something which appears to have power and then believe that it is nothing, that is where the great segula lies. When we could truly believe there is no such thing as nature, we could even see miracles. A man recently related that, when he was younger, he heard a powerful class about praying to avoid problems rather than waiting for the problems to come and then praying to get rid of them. He then started praying to get married and have children, way before he became of age. Baruch Hashem, he got married and had his first child within the year. And over the next years, he and his wife were blessed with a few more children. About a year after their last child was born, he went to the doctor because of a pain he was having. The doctor did a number of tests and, when the results came back, he called him and asked if he could come speak to him. The office was close to where he needed to drop off a couple of his children that day, so he brought them along. When the doctor called him in, he asked him when he adopted those children. The man replied they were his own. The doctor was stunned. He said based on the test results that he did, it would have been impossible for him to ever have children. Indeed, since that visit, he did not have another child. Because of his tefilot , Hashem gave him and his wife a miraculous family. Hashem could do anything and when we believe in His powers and nothing else, b'ezrat Hashem, we will see miracles.

We know Hashem is involved in every moment of our lives, but when we see it clearly it gives us a lot of chizuk . Life has its challenges, but when we feel Hashem is with us, then we know we can handle all of them. A man told me, he had an eye surgery scheduled and as the date was coming closer, he was naturally on edge. On the morning of the procedure, he opened a book that he reads daily, and the title of the lesson he was up to read, Beyond What Meets the Eye. The same morning at Shacharit , he sat next to a man who he never sat next to before. And as they were putting away their tefillin , this man pulled out a book with an eye on the cover, entitled Positive Vision. These two incidents calmed him down so much. He felt like Hashem was telling him, “I know this must be nerve-racking for you, but keep calm. There is more than meets the eye and I am right here with you.” Another man said he loves reading the weekly hashgacha p ק ratit newsletter that they put out in his shul. One Thursday morning, he took the bulletin on his way out of shul and put it in the outer part of his tefillin bag. On his way home from learning that afternoon, he took his tefillin and stopped off at a local drugstore to pick up a medication that he needed. This particular drugstore closes Thursday afternoon and doesn’t reopen until Sunday, so he was happy that he got there before they closed. When he got home, he picked up the mail to see if anyone had been thinking of him, but there were no invitations, just bills. But then he saw an advertisement for a hashgacha peratit magazine and he said to himself, “Of course someone is thinking of me, Hashem is always thinking of me.” Then, when he saw that advertisement, he thought of the hashgacha peratit bulletin that he took that morning. And then he realized he forgot his tefillin in the drugstore. He went back and managed to get them right before they closed. Hashem sent him the perfect reminder in the mail, so that he would be able to put on his tefillin the next morning. To know Hashem is always thinking of us gives chizuk . Another man told me, he went last week to a store about twenty minutes from his house to buy a swing-set for his children. The one he found came in two very large six foot boxes that weighed a ton. A store representative helped bring the boxes to his car, but after trying for a long time, they just couldn’t get them to fit. They were at a standstill. Just at that moment, a fellow Jew was walking by and asked him if he happened to live in a certain neighborhood. Amazingly, this man was traveling to the exact same place that he lived in and he had a large van that could fit the swing-set. He happily offered to load the boxes into his car and bring them to his house. The man was so excited, not only to get the swing-set home, but also to see Hashem’s hashgacha , sending someone else who lived in his neighborhood twenty minutes away to be walking by just at the right moment when he needed. And then he offered to do a very difficult job of delivering this swing-set. And when they arrived at the house, he personally helped carry those very heavy boxes to exactly where they needed to go. Ashrechem Yisrael for the unending chesed our people do. Hashem is always with us and when we see His hand even in the small areas of life, it gives us extra chizuk .

On our quest to acquire perfect emunah and think correctly, we want to purify our minds with the right hashkafa according to the Torah. The pasuk in parashat Ekev warns, if a person becomes well-to-do, he will forget about Hashem, saying, it is my might and strength that made me this wealth. The Saba from Kelm points out, the Torah does not say, maybe he will say this, because the nature of a person is to automatically think that way. It is only with proper training that we can uproot this thought process. If we see a successful businessman, what are our thoughts about his wealth? Do we think about what appear to be the immediate causes that brought him his wealth, like the product he sells or the stocks he bought? Or do we think that Hashem wanted him to be wealthy and He gave him his wealth? If we see an army successful in battle, do we think about their great strategies and war tactics? Or do we attribute their success to HaKadosh Baruch Hu? This is one way in which we could test our level of emunah, seeing if our initial thoughts have adapted to the way that Hashem wants us to think. The Gemara says in Masechet Berachot that Rav Huna had four hundred barrels of wine that soured, and when the Rabbis heard about it, they immediately told him to check into his deeds. Rav Huna asked the Rabbis why they suspected him of doing something wrong, and they replied, because without a question it was Hashem who made the wine sour, and it was a kapara for something that the Rabbi did wrong. Rav Huna looked into his deeds and indeed discovered his error in a different business dealing, and right after he made teshuvah , the issue of the wine went away. The baalei mussar point out from here, usually the way it works is when someone experiences some type of misfortune like this, he thinks about all the different natural causes of why the wine may have spoiled, but Chazal are teaching us with their pure emunah that the natural causes don't matter. Everything that takes place is because of Hashem. If we fix what Hashem wants us to fix, then the issue goes away. The Apta Rav used to say, the way of the world is when someone makes a certain hishtadlut and it doesn't work out the way he hoped, he thinks, “If only I would have done things differently, then I might have gotten what I wanted.” If the person said something he wishes he didn't say, he would think, “If only I would have said something else, then I would have gotten what I wanted.” Both of those reactions are incorrect. The outcome that took place was exactly the outcome that Hashem wanted to take place. And if the outcome could have been different because of different words or a different hishtadlut , then Hashem would have put those thoughts in the person's brain at the time he was making the hishtadlut . It is extremely difficult for someone to put in a lot of effort into something and then believe that the result had nothing to do with his efforts. But this is the way Hashem wants us to think, because this is the absolute truth. This is the way He runs the world. Even if someone says, “I did it and Hashem helped me do it,” that is tarnished emunah. אין עוד מלבדו , there is nothing other than Hashem. He doesn't need our help. He wants us to put in our efforts for various reasons. One of them is to test us in this very area, to see if we'll believe it was Him, even though we had to put in the effort. The more we train ourselves to think this way, the better we'll get at it. And b’ezrat Hashem, we will train ourselves to the point where our initial thoughts are with pure emunah.

Part of the process of growing in emunah is to train ourselves to think with pure hashkafa . Our nature is to see things the way they appear to be, but we must be able to see beyond what meets the eye. When a person is sick and goes to the doctor, usually he gets better, and if he doesn't go and neglects his sickness, he usually gets worse. It is only natural to think that the doctor or the medication is what cured. The person may have learned that it is really Hashem who cures, and he says three times a day in the Amidah that Hashem is the רופא חולי עמו ישראל , but it's still very hard to fully believe that when what he sees seems otherwise. The Chazon Ish wrote in a letter, people think that the advancement of medicine has prolonged life because if someone gets a certain sickness in today's day and age, after the cure has been discovered, he will live, whereas if he got that sickness in a previous generation, he would have died from it. People think that if there wouldn't be such a thing as car accidents, many more individuals would be alive today. People think that because Hatzalah arrived on the scene when they did, the person who they helped lived, but if they wouldn't have gotten there on time, the outcome would have been different. Says the Chazon Ish, these thoughts are a denial of Hashem's providence in the world. Nobody who was ever decreed to live, died, and no one who was decreed to die, lived. The way it works is, if a person is destined to die, then Hashem gives him a sickness that does not have a cure, or a heart attack in a place where Hatzalah is far away, or puts him in a car accident with no chance of survival. If someone is meant to live, however, he may get a sickness that has a cure, or a heart attack when Hatzalah is right near him, or be in a car accident and only sustain injuries. It is never the circumstances that cause anything, it is only Hashem. The Chazon Ish writes further, not only did the advancement of medicine not add life, in fact, it has only brought about more illnesses, because in the past, when medication was not available, only a limited amount of people would be given a certain illness, because it was through that illness that they would leave the world. But now that the sickness is curable, many more people will get it, because it is used as a form of yisurin , rather than a way to take a person from the world. People think that medication, or the advancement of it, has taken away pain. That's also not true, because the amount of pain that a person has to endure is determined on Rosh Hashanah, and there are infinite ways for pain to come upon a person. Hashem decides what pain comes, and how the pain comes, based on what's best for the person. Moreover, with all of our advancements, mental illness has increased exponentially. In the past, there was not so much of a fear of sickness, and there were many cities that didn't even have a local doctor. Today, there's a doctor on every corner, and everyone's afraid of the next sickness they might get. The Chazon Ish continues, people's misunderstanding of the world has also led to them not fulfilling certain religious responsibilities, namely having additional children. As the pasuk says, ולערב אל תנח ידיך . People do not want to go through the struggle of raising more children, as they would rather take it easy. If we believe that it's the children that cause the difficulties, that would be a good point. But once again, it is Hashem who decides how many struggles a person needs to have for his own good, and those struggles could come in many different ways, including parnasa , relationships, health, and the list goes on. In the zechut of struggling in a mitzvah, like raising children in the ways of Hashem, that will only remove other potential forms of struggle, and the person will be rewarded for this struggle as well. This is the pure hashkafa of emunah that the Chazon Ish has ingrained into himself and shared with us. Of course, we appreciate all of Hatzalah's efforts, and we appreciate medication and everything else that Hashem provides for us, but we must know, אין עוד מלבדו - He is the Hatzalah, He is the medication, only He decides who lives. The more we understand that, the purer our emunah will be.

Some people have a hard time hearing so many stories where people received the salvation they were hoping for in a timely manner. When people are struggling and not getting the yeshua they are seeking, it is definitely difficult to hear others getting what they themselves need. We must remember everyone has a different purpose in this world and everyone has a different reason for why they experience the challenges that they have to go through. If a person is going through his challenge the right way, praying, growing spiritually, accepting upon himself to do mitzvot better, then he is a guaranteed success. When we follow Hashem, we always win. Yeshua stories are just more examples of how we gain when we follow Hashem. Sometimes we see the gains immediately and sometimes we have to wait to see them. Nobody ever followed Hashem and lost as a result. Even if it seems that a person loses, it is just a test. Sometimes it may appear that we gain by doing the wrong things, but that is also part of life's tests. We never gain by going against Hashem. Whatever it looks like we gained will eventually be lost and we don't know what we would have gained had we chosen correctly. I read a story that a man told about himself. He and his family lived in New York while his parents lived in London. He made it a point to visit his parents with his entire family multiple times a year, and it was very costly. Even though it was just him, his wife and three children, airline tickets to another country many times a year added up to a very large bill. On one occasion, they ran into many delays at the airport and he realized he wasn't going to have time to gather a minyan for mincha . They ended up just making it to the gate by the skin of their teeth. When they finally got to their seats on the plane, he saw he only had five minutes left until sundown and so he began praying mincha immediately. While the boarding was taking place, an announcement was made on the PA system asking if anybody would be willing to give up their seats on the flight and take the next scheduled flight instead, which would be a few hours later. They were offering $1,000 per customer who would be willing to give up his seat. While this man was in the Amida , he couldn't help but hear that announcement. To wait until the next flight for him and his family would not be an issue. This was a golden opportunity to receive a much-needed $5,000. But he couldn't reply as he was in the Amida . When nobody came forward, the announcement was made a second time. The man had a very strong inclination to just say a couple of words and secure the money. His yetzer hara gave him dozens of reasons on why it would be permitted for him to speak. But he said to himself, he's in the middle of talking to HaKadosh Baruch Hu , the One in charge of all the money in the world, and he knew deep down it's forbidden to interrupt the Amida for money. Baruch Hashem, he managed to go back to concentrating on his tefillah and he prayed the full Amida to the best of his ability. Right when he finished, there was a new announcement being made. The airline was now offering $2,500 per customer who would be willing to take the later flight. He immediately volunteered with his family members and instead of getting just $5,000, he got $12,500. If he would have interrupted, he most probably would have thought that he gained from that interruption. But in truth, it would have cost him an additional $7,500 and most likely he would not have truly benefited from the $5,000, being that he did something wrong to get it. We always gain by following Hashem. Even if we don't see the yeshuot now, we must continue praying and growing, knowing that Hashem is appreciating every bit of effort we're making and He will reward us for all of them.

Some people feel cheated when it comes to the abilities they were given in the realms of spirituality. They say, "If Hashem would have given me more money, I could be giving so much more tzedaka . If Hashem would have given me a bigger house, I could be excelling in the mitzvah of hachnasat orchim . If Hashem would have made me smarter, I would be becoming great in Torah...and the list goes on. These sound like lofty complaints, but they are nothing more than the ploy of the evil inclination. Korach felt that if he would have had a better position, he would have been able to accomplish more in his avodat Hashem, but that turned out to be his downfall. We have everything we need to perform our jobs properly. The Sefer Chassidim in siman 530 writes, a person should never say, if I would have had something.... – כי רחמנא ליבא בעי- because Hashem wants our hearts. How much money you have has nothing to do with you. How smart you are has nothing to do with you. But your heart is fully under your jurisdiction. A person's job in this world is to want to give tzedaka and attempt to do it in whatever way he can. To desire to learn Torah and attempt to do it the best way he can. The pasuk says ובחרת בחיים – we are to choose life. The main avodah here is to make the decision in our hearts to want to do Torah and mitzvot . The Chovot HaLevavot in Shaar HaBitachon, perek 4 discusses our role in the performance of mitzvot . And because the topic is so delicate, he begins with a small tefila to Hashem to guide him to saying the right words. He writes there, every mitzvah requires three steps – one, the desire to perform it; two, the commitment to carry it out; and three, the actual performance. The third part is beyond our control. Our role is in the first two parts – the desire and commitment. A person does not need any money to desire to give tzedaka. He doesn't need to be a genius to desire to learn Torah. If someone has, let's say, a desire to build a yeshiva, but he has no money to do it, he is rewarded for his desire alone. If he makes some phone calls and tries to raise money to build a yeshiva, then he is rewarded for his commitment and effort as well. Whether the yeshiva gets built is beyond his control. The Ohr Avigdor tells the story of Rav Yisrael Salanter, who was once seen talking to an older man for a long time explaining to him the importance of establishing a Kollel for higher learning. His students assumed that the old man was wealthy enough to warrant so much effort. When they found out he was poor, they asked the Rabbi why he seemingly wasted his precious time on that poor man. The Rabbi replied, "Doesn't he need to want a Kollel too?" Which means, to have a desire in one's heart to serve Hashem is a major accomplishment and it was worth the great Rabbi's time to give somebody that desire. If someone has a yearning for the Beit HaMikdash to be rebuilt, he's rebuilding the Mikdash in his heart and receiving untold rewards for that desire. If someone desire's Mashiach, he is being rewarded for the desire alone. Hashem wants our hearts and every Jew is equal in what he could accomplish with his heart. Hashem knows our intentions and when we have the right ones very often, He will also bring them to fruition and give us the additional reward of having our intentions accomplished in the form of a deed. Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak Rabinowitz told that he has a custom of lighting Shabbat candles even when he's away from home in circumstances when he is exempt. Of course, in those circumstances he lights without a beracha , but he said his strong desire to light candles for Shabbat pushes him to make sure he always does. On one occasion, he was in Meron for Shabbat and wanted to light like he always did, but every place he thought he could light in had a sign saying "No candles allowed". He went to the cave and tried to light there, yes, without a beracha of course, but there as well there was a sign saying "no candles". He kept searching. He went up a staircase that led to an area above the cave and there he saw some bedrooms. He knocked on one of the doors and asked if he could light his Shabbat candles there. The man replied, "I can't believe you are here right now. I was just searching through my suitcase and I realized I didn't have candles to light for Shabbat. You are like an angel that was sent to save me." Rav Yosef was so excited to give him his candles. A great Rabbi pointed out, you see from this story when someone has a good intention like this man who wanted to light even though he wasn't obligated, Hashem takes those good intentions and brings them to action. He helped this man by having his candles be used in the real performance of a mitzvah, with a beracha . Hashem wants our hearts. Everyone could give them to Him. If we will have a yearning to do every mitzvah in the best way, and we will do what we can to perform them, then we know we are doing our job in this world the best way possible.