Ahh, Mount Rushmore. A monument to a bunch of slave owners hacked into a sacred mountain that basically no one wanted. But what if there's more to the big ol presidential busts in South Dakota? What if there's a secret doomsday bunker hidden beneath the mountain itself, kept secret for almost a century?? Because John Potter (comedian and aspiring gay icon) has done the work, has read the receipts, and believes there is something weird going on in the Black Hills. Listen up as we discuss mysterious caves, goofy names, confederate dinguses, and which presidents were the most forgettable.

You might be thinking 'gee, what's a cute little theory about a kids tv show doing on this feed? Isn't this gonna be too innocent and sweet for Lizard People'. Well think again IDIOT. Comedy cutie Allyn Pintal came by to talk about the Rugrats Theory, and it might be our bleakest show ever. This theory holds that none of the Rugrats are real, Angelica made them all up in a grief-stupor, and everyone on the show is poorly dealing with horrific trauma. Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo!

We're getting political this week, honey! Comedian and podcast host Nick Turner is a true believer in a theory so controversial, it got Trump banned from Twitter and fired from being president (not actually). Nick's done some history research, and he thinks notorious terrorist leader and tape enjoyer Osama Bin Laden was not actually killed in the 2011 raid on a compound in Abbottabad. No, Bin Laden actually died of natural causes and then his body was schlepped around the Middle East for a decade until the US could finally make use of it. So is Kathryn Bigelow a liar? Were Obama and Clinton just watching someone play a video game in that notorious picture? Is Seal Team 6 just six guys? Could the government be... deceiving us?!?!!? The answers to those questions and more are all in this episode.

Cast your mind back to the year 2003. 'The Simple Life' just premiered. Malta has finally joined the European Union. And a coalition of nations is about to invade Iraq, spearheaded by accomplished painter and war criminal George W Bush. What are they looking for? WMD's? Oil? Or could it be that Iraq has long jealously guarded the greatest secret of all time - that they have a DANG STARGATE! Hollywood's sweetheart Hannah Garces stopped by to talk about the possibility that Saddam had a gateway through space and time, as well as her dad's previous jobs, what's up with ziggurats, and the spookiest grandma coincidence you ever did hear.

He's back, and he's finished the Fincher movie! Cast your mind back many a year to when Michael Dean first appeared on Lizard People to argue that Ted Cruz killed 5 young people in California and then wrote a bunch of cryptic letters to the cops. Remember how Michael based it on a few minutes of the movie Zodiac? Well in 2020 he finally had time to finish the movie and to reconsider his conspiracy theory, and the result is an episode with a twist you'll never see coming. Listen as these two old friends duke it out, Lizard style. And if you haven't listened to that episode yet and don't have context for this conversation, honestly, don't. Not worth it.