What if aliens exist and they just think we're kind of boring? This is the provocative question bravely asked by our guest this week, returning fave Mel Cowan. Mel's ready to dive in to the Zoo Hypothesis, the idea that aliens are out there keeping an eye on our planet, not bugging us, just living their own lives. Buckle up for a nice kind episode full of musings about the nature of humanity, ponderings upon what it means to really communicate, jokes about Scooby Doo and Sea Monkeys, super niche references to LA improv, and sandwich talk. And don't forget to get Dos'd!

If you've ever shopped at a Trader Joe's, you know the deep and sense of doom that leak out of those palaces of peanut butter pretzels. But why are they so weirdly built, and why are the parking lots such nightmares to navigate? This week, returning champ Jessica McClintock is here to explain her theory on why the parking lots, the aisles, and sometimes even the food in a Trader Joe's grocery store are so friggin weird. Join us for a tale of corporate sliminess, urban anxiety, and seasonal kringle.

These dang governments. Are they just incompetent dinguses who are terrible at keeping the roads in driveable condition? Or are they Machiavellian geniuses who are intentionally imprisoning us in a jail made of asphalt and billboards and... like... railroad ties. Friends of the show Ashlyn Anstee and Grant Pardee are back and teaming up to talk about how governments keep infrastructure terrible so that we all move slower and pay more money and don't get to drive the speeds we really want to. Tune in for a comprehensive discussion between four people who definitely totally understand city planning and budgeting. And then go listen to Grashlyn Party!

You know that feeling you get when you pound an energy drink and then put on your JNCOs and punch a wall? Could that feeling possibly be... from Satan?!? Ray of sunshine Nina Concepcion is back on the show this week, and she's got some information about Monster Energy that you're definitely going to want to hear. Nina suspects that Monster Energy came from that prince of darkness, that angel of pain, that nasty man, Lucifer Morningstar himself. And along the way we'll also discuss stuff like Talmudic numerology, early 2000's search engines, misheard songs, who's most likely to be eating prunes, and demonic pets.

Jesus Christ. You know him, you love him. But have you heard the theory that Jesus didn't actually die on Good Friday? That he in fact just kind of passed out as a result of sleepy drugs just like Romeo in that play? And that the whole thing was kind of a political stunt? If you haven't (or honestly even if you have) you're gonna want to listen in on this episode with dear friend of the show and host of the new podcast Sydney to Sydney, Sydney O'Toole! Lil Wayne's #1 fan also has some pretty controversial ideas about Jesus, and she's gonna let you have em. This ep features some real deep talk about religion, so you might wanna read the entire bible to prepare.

Stop the presses! We're finally doing a topical episode. That's right - this week the hilarious co-hosts of Crush Fictionally, Michelle and Kim, stopped by to talk about the Shrimp Guy Saga and the possibility that the whole thing was a damn scam. Michelle and Kim think the whole thing smells fishy, and they suspect the culprit is the shrimp smuggler itself, Cinnamon Toast Crunch's parent company General Mills. Did a marketing person make this all up? Did General Mills' gamble pay off and reward them with increased share prices? Is Shrimp Guy the real piece of rat poop in this baffling tale of allergens and greed? Buddy, you're gonna want to listen to this one.

Remember when Nevada spent like 18 months counting the votes back in 2020? And remember how they refused to hurry up even as an insurrection was fomenting? And remember how people like to gamble in Nevada? Well this week's guest thinks these terrible memories just might be related. Podcast host Zevon Odelberg stopped by to recount (hehe) his scandalous theory on why it took forever to find out who won the presidential election Nevada, and it just might have something to do with the casinos, the mob, sexy showgirls, and steak dinners. Panamanians, we're on to you!

Dontcha just love Rian Kountzhouse? America's sweetheart of podcasting is back in the Lizard Lair, and this week he brings us a theory that is incredibly personal. Rian thinks that his adorable toddler Tate was delivered by stork. Yes, literally by a stork. And he also thinks that all human babies everywhere are also delivered by stork. Maybe also crane. Definitely a big white waterfowl. This episode is exactly as bonkers as you think it's gonna be and features some absolutely filthy language from Rian, Katelyn, and even Alexis. And there WILL be surprise cameos. Get your diapers on little babies, it's a wild one.

They're baaaaack! The lovable lads from Hollow Public Radio came back by the Lizard Lair, and this time we're talking bird people. That's right - Grant, Alexis, and Michael have a theory involving the Blue Avians, a race of superintelligent benevolent interdimensional beings who just want to heighten our vibrations. But there's a dark shadow to our feathered friends, a malevolent force trying to ruin their kindly plans. What evil force is that? You're gonna have to listen to find out! Featuring special bonus appearances from Toucan Sam, Alexis's mom, jaguar gods, and the Inquisition.

What's up with 5G? Is it a harmless tech upgrade that's making our phones faster? Is it a devious plot by the global elites to scramble our brains and give us cancer? Or is it... a third thing??? This week podcaster and founder of the Black Women In Comedy Festival Marian Yesufu dropped by to explain the real 5G plot. And it's not what you think - see, Marian is pretty sure 5G is yet another scam to get us to buy more stuff and live crappier lives. Along the way we also discuss baby barf, the state of tech in Nigeria, things Instagram is making us buy, and of course how much we all hate Zuckerberg. It's a wild one!