Losing Part of Me

In this episode I speak with the wonderful Josh Connolly about his journey through sobriety and the healing that happened because of it. 

He shares inner work and mindfulness practices that have become an essential part of his  life. We explore the tendency to hide behind leadership roles and the importance of genuine self-reflection. The journey into self-knowledge is acknowledged as ongoing, embracing imperfection and recognizing the complexities of addiction and recovery.

We also discuss his powerful Inner You course, a transformative program designed to explore the intricacies of one's identity, past relationships, and the internal family system. The emphasis on understanding and championing every part of oneself emerges as a central theme, offering a path towards personal empowerment and liberation from the chains of addiction.

About Josh Connolly

Josh Connolly is a Resilience and Accredited Breathwork Facilitator. He is one of the UK’s most influential mental health advocates who regularly speak on BBC, ITV & Channel 5 news. He has spoken in the House of Commons, contributed to mental health policy and even advised the scriptwriting team on Hollyoaks. Josh runs resilience workshops for village schools and global brands alike. He is an ambassador for Nacoa – a national charity supporting people affected by a parent’s drinking.

Social Media Links and website link:

https://www.instagram.com/josh_ffw/ 

https://www.facebook.com/joshffw 

https://www.tiktok.com/@josh_ffw 

https://twitter.com/josh_ffw 

https://www.youtube.com/c/JoshConnolly_FFW 

In this episode I invite my dear friend Biz Paul. Not only did he know about my sobriety pretty much from day one, he is also sober himself for over 5 years.

In this conversation Biz Paul shares why he decided being sober was for him and how he shared the news and the impact it had. We delve into the power of setting boundaries, using autonomy to make empowering decisions, and finding clarity and fulfilment in a life without alcohol.

We also talk about peoples reactions and how we are brought up in a society that positively encourages drinking and why is alcohol the only drug that people generally get annoyed by you not taking part in?

About Biz Paul

Paul Ince (aka BizPaul to his friends - that's you now) is a marketing strategist, host and presenter who believes that the people working within the business are best placed to talk about it. He helps organisations understand their voice and puts strategies in place to amplify it to their market. With over 20 years’ experience* he has supported many businesses to increase their visibility online, communicate more effectively and grow their business. 

He speaks frequently on the subject of how to improve the way businesses have conversations with their customers and clients via the world of digital, and occasionally analogue, marketing. 

In addition to running his content marketing agency, LikeMind Media, Paul co-hosts the award-nominated news and politics podcast, Humans Exhaust Me. 

*He didn’t want to add in the “over” as he doesn’t look old enough, but it adds to the authority so, you know. 

Social Media Links and website link:

www.bizpaul.com 

https://www.instagram.com/bizpaul/ 

https://www.linkedin.com/in/bizpaul/ 

In this episode, I am joined by my dear friend and coach, Mary Hyatt. She shares about her early awareness of my struggles with alcohol and the wisdom of not rushing to 'fix' me.

We delve into Mary's personal journey of being in a relationship with an addict, emphasising her focus on self-management and her unique path to recovery. The discussion explores the boundaries a partner is willing to tolerate and the importance of recognising your own limitations in controlling the other person.

Mary introduces the concepts of big T and little t trauma, explaining their differences and the profound impact they have on our lives. She eloquently explains how unprocessed trauma can manifest in the body, and can lead to addictive behaviours.

Mary guides us through recognising and managing things that activate us, unravelling the physical manifestations of trauma, and building awareness around these moments. We explore the crucial skill of tolerating discomfort without resorting to addictive tendencies.

This thought-provoking episode invites reflection on the interconnectedness of trauma, the body, and addiction, offering valuable insights into self-awareness and healing.

About Mary Hyatt 

Mary Hyatt is a life and business mindset coach who specialises in helping high achieving individuals move from living a life of burnout to a life where they are connected to their emotions, their body, and their spirit. She helps bring her 1 on 1 clients back into soul alignment for greater success, not only in their business but in their life.

As a trained Yoga, Meditation and Breathwork Instructor, Mary brings a level of trauma informed somatic consciousness and soul focused inner work to everything she does. She brings the heart and soul back to life and business, and gives women permission to come back home to the truest parts of themselves.

Social Media Links and website link:

https://maryhyatt.com/text/

https://www.maryhyatt.com

https://www.instagram.com/maryghyatt/

https://www.facebook.com/MaryGraceHyatt/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/marygracehyatt/

In this heartfelt episode, I am joined by my husband Paul. We open up about the impact of my decision to stop drinking on our relationship. We delve into the dynamics of our shared drinking habits, discussing the challenges we faced and the changes we experienced when one partner decided to quit.

I reflect on my early realisation of having a drinking problem and the difficulty in conveying this to Paul, who was also a regular drinker. 

Paul reveals the challenges he faced in adapting to this significant lifestyle change. He candidly discusses the impact on weekends, socialising, and the shift in our shared activities. 

Paul expresses his frustration and concern, emphasising the struggle to bring back the element of fun that drinking had previously provided.

Ultimately, this episode provides a unique and raw perspective on the complexities of navigating sobriety within a relationship. 

We also discuss the positive changes in our relationship since I decided to quit drinking. We highlight the reduction in arguments and the improved emotional well-being. Despite the difficulties, we express hope for future improvements, especially during occasions traditionally associated with alcohol.

In this episode, I reflect on the past year of sobriety, sharing the changes, some of which were unexpected changes after a year of being sober.

This journey wasn't a quick fix. It took about 10 months to regain a sense of normalcy and face the world without the crutch of alcohol. Embracing emotions without the numbing effect of alcohol was a challenging yet transformative experience. 

Contrary to expectations, weight loss didn't accompany sobriety. Social dynamics shifted, and reactions from friends and family varied. Pubs lost appeal unless food was involved.

Surprisingly, my sense of humour and extroverted energy remained intact. Sobriety positively impacted my professional life, allowing me to set ambitious goals for my business.

The most profound change lies within me—I've learned to love and appreciate myself in ways I never thought possible. Sobriety is a journey worth every challenge, tear, and craving.

Remember, you're not alone. Sending love your way. You've got this. 💙

In this episode I delve into the intricacies of what led me to quit drinking. The elusive "magic pill" everyone seeks when asking, "How did you stop?" is far from simple, especially when grappling with addiction.

I attempt to share some insights into the factors that contributed to my decision to stop drinking. It's a journey that goes beyond mere willpower and confronts the challenges of addiction.

In the episode I share with you how therapy became a pivotal part of my recovery but how it took years to even bring up the subject of alcohol and addiction. 

One crucial aspect of my journey was the exploration of self-compassion and empathy. I had been exceptionally harsh on myself, berating my inability to control drinking despite numerous attempts. Learning to treat myself with kindness and understanding was a significant breakthrough which was key for my recovery.

I also share the concept of "little Therese's." This concept, influenced by internal family systems theory, helped me recognise that certain behaviours stemmed from a younger version of myself seeking comfort, safety, or attention. 

I also share my love for the book The Realm of Hungry Ghosts by Gabor Maté, recommended by my therapist. Maté delves into the impact of trauma on the brain, challenging the notion that addiction is solely a result of genetics or willpower. His exploration of how early-life experiences shape brain function, influencing our propensity for addiction, was a revelation that shifted my perspective. It wasn't a matter of fault or weakness; it was a neurological response to trauma.

Remember, you are not alone on this journey, and with understanding and empathy, positive change is possible.

Sending you love and strength on your own unique path to recovery. You've got this. 💙

In this episode, titled The Firsts, I dive into the challenges and triumphs I faced as I encountered various "firsts" on my path to recovery.

I share my initial struggles with the concept of firsts – those occasions that used to be reasons for me to drink. Whether it was a birthday, a dinner party, or a weekend getaway, the idea of facing these events without alcohol seemed daunting at the start of my journey.

The first major hurdle came when my husband went on a skiing trip shortly after I began my journey to sobriety. Alone with my thoughts, I realised the importance of self-integrity and taking responsibility for my decisions. I grappled with the challenge of being on my own during this time and learned valuable lessons about setting boundaries and prioritising my well-being.

As I fast-forward through the year, I recount moments such as my first public speaking engagement just a month into sobriety. Navigating social events where alcohol was expected, I developed strategies to maintain my sobriety while still being true to myself.

As the year progressed, I faced more firsts – festivals, solo events, flights, and even the holiday season. Each presented its own set of challenges, but with time, I found new ways to cope and celebrate without alcohol.

Sharing my experiences of disclosing my journey to select individuals, including my family, I open up about the emotional toll it took and the fears that accompanied these conversations. The weight of shame, judgement, and the worry of potential relapse made it challenging to talk about my newfound commitment to sobriety.

Throughout this episode, the recurring theme emerges – the importance of not questioning the decision to stay sober. Even in the face of tough times and unexpected challenges, I've learned that alcohol won't solve the problems or bring the relief it once promised.

As I reflect on the past year and the myriad of firsts, I want to remind you, that no matter where you are on your journey, you are not alone. 

Sending you love and strength as you navigate your own path to sobriety. Remember, you've got this. 💙

In this episode I'm opening up about the brutal early days of my sobriety. It wasn’t the instant euphoria you might expect and was hoping for.

I began with Dry January, thinking it was just a month. New Year's Day marked my last intentional drink. The initial expectation of feeling phenomenal didn't match reality.

The first weeks were rough – exhaustion, body aches, and an overwhelming desire to nap. And I couldn’t manage day to day normal life.

Phrases like "don't question the decision" and "what would the new T do?" became my mantras. Sharing with my husband was tough; he initially didn't believe the extent of my struggle and wanted me to drink again.

I kept my journey private, fearing judgement and sharing with people I could never go back! The struggle persisted for months. Sleep was elusive, and relearning it without alcohol was a challenge.

My father's cancer diagnosis in April brought a startling revelation – my immediate thought was drinking at his funeral. It exposed the deep connection between emotional turmoil and the desire to escape through alcohol.

Throughout, therapy provided support, but the fight took a toll on my business earning less than I ever have. By October-November, a gradual shift occurred. The relentless fight waned, paving the way for self-love and pride.

Getting sober isn't a magical transformation; it's a gritty, relentless battle against ingrained habits. In the next episode, I'll share strategies for navigating the "firsts" – birthdays, trips, and dinners. 

Remember, you're not alone. Sending love your way. You've got this. 💙

Today, I'm diving deep into the not fun side of my relationship with alcohol, sharing the moments that made me confront the need for a major life change.

So, in the last episode, I kept it calm and factual, walking you through why I decided to get sober. But today, it's all about the things that alcohol funcked up, the ones that truly show why I needed to stop.

I never hit a rock bottom in the dramatic sense, no earth-shattering moment. It was more like a thousand paper cuts, small and seemingly insignificant, adding up over time. It's not the stereotypical alcoholic story, but it's real, and it's my story.

Working for myself gave me a different drinking landscape. No boss, my own schedule, but that didn't make it any less destructive. In the last episode, I shared the quantity I drank, but today, it's about the why and the impact.

My husband and I drank similarly, but our motivations differed. For him, it was about enjoyment. For me, it was about thoughts and coping with stress. The anticipation before a drink, the false sense of relaxation, it all played a role.

I'm laying it all out – missed New Year's celebrations, botched music festivals, a reckless work trip to Dubai – all fueled by a desire for more. There were moments I forgot intimate experiences and times my daughter saw me at my worst.

Some of these stories weren't easy to share, but they're part of the journey.

This journey isn't linear. It's messy, emotional, and sometimes downright painful. But I share these details to connect with anyone facing similar struggles. The path to sobriety is a journey, one that requires time, self-reflection, and resilience.

Until then, sending you so much love – you've got this! 💙

Welcome to another episode of Losing Part of Me! Why I needed to stop drinking. I have chosen my words very carefully. I haven't said why I wanted to.  It really was very much I needed to stop. That I could not carry on the way I was going.

Before we jump into it, I want to share something that helped share this story – my journal. Those morning reflections have become a valuable resource, offering a raw look into my mindset during those challenging times. 

Growing up, alcohol was always present in my life. It wasn't just a weekend indulgence; it was part of our daily routine. My childhood experiences with alcohol set the stage for how it would intertwine with my adult life. Fast forward to the present, and I found myself constantly thinking about alcohol, attempting various strategies to control my consumption.

I tried moderation, limiting drinks per night, avoiding drinking alone, and even planned dry spells. None of it worked. My daily routine became a revolving door of excuses to drink – to celebrate, to cope, to escape. I envied those who could stop after a couple of drinks, a feat I could never achieve.

In October 2021, I decided to take a break for a month, which lasted only three weeks. The impact on my health was evident – constant stomach issues, shaky hands, and how I couldn’t stop. My attempts to moderate or abstain were futile, and I started questioning if I had a problem.

In this episode I also share 

• The effects it was having on my life 
• The constant presence of shame
• How drinking showed up in my relationship 
• How much I drank 

In the next episode, I'll unveil the harsh realities of my excessive drinking, exploring the impact on my life and the not-so-pleasant stories that unfolded. For more updates, connect with me on the Losing Part of Me Instagram account. 

Until then, sending you so much love – you've got this! 💙