When we lose a life partner there are so many secondary losses but there’s one loss that often goes unnoticed and is hard to share with others, this can leave us feeling very alone and sometimes quite ashamed.

The loss of intimacy is a real loss, being touched, hugged, kissed or sexually fulfilled leaves us with a huge void. We were in a loving relationship with our person and all of a sudden they’re no longer here, but our feelings are still very much alive. We have wants, needs and desires that are no longer being tended to.

I wanted to talk about this important topic in this episode to help normalise these feelings, to open up the conversation, and to let you know that you are not alone in how you feel.

Whether you decide to act on these desires or not is absolutely ok, but whatever you decide to do make sure it’s not adding to your suffering.

Be aware of how you’re feeling and what’s driving you to make the choices you’re making, find somebody you can talk to that you trust, and know that all your feelings are completely valid.

The worries you have about the possibility of another partner are common, the guilt you’re feeling towards your person when you have these desires, and wondering when the time is right to explore intimacy again is something we all think about.

Learning to connect with ourselves and discover who we are is one of the most important factors I believe we need to work on. Building a healthy relationship with ourselves is at the heart of our healing journey, and it’s no different when it comes to the subject of intimacy.