Love in Action

Quotes:

• “This research is not to vindicate the bad apples; it is in fact to tell leaders you have to look inward and decide…is it me or my employees?” [14:25] As Marcel and his guests dive into the research, Charn explains the introspection required by good leaders to understand if their leadership might be causing workplace deviance and the necessary steps from that point instead of just passing blame. 
• “Are you socially aware enough of what is happening at work? The relationship between you and your employees? The relationship between the employees themselves? …If you’re really politically skilled, and if you’re a really good leader, you should be able to see the matrix.” [22:01] Parker Ellen discusses one of the foundations of political skill in a leader: social astuteness. This is all about taking a step back and seeing a different picture and how you may even be contributing to deviant behavior.
• “This is a time of transition in the workplace; if we can come at it from a collaborative place, we’ll have a lot of success.” [33:35] Katie Alexander touches on the coach and team mindset that younger generations are longing for in the workplaces that can provide feedback when needed but also create growth. This idea promotes the importance of a caring, hands-on, and dedicated leader that in many ways prevents workplace deviance. 
• “Are they appearing like a ‘bad apple’ because I’m highlighting that aspect of them in the way that I lead?” [39:14] Parker challenges the idea that there are either good or bad ‘apples’ and extends the thought that there are tendencies to either have both deviant and compliant actions in many people. Moreover, on how your own tendencies to not be the best leader can react with that. 
• “Take a second to listen to your employees and recognize why something might be happening. Sometimes on small affronts, we can attribute major things, but it might not be anything. That doesn't mean we can’t correct the behavior, but it also means we’ll have the ability to give them grace as a leader because we spent that time upfront. ”[46:55]  As all three guests share what love in action means to them, Charn shares a story from his time in the military exemplifying the need to give grace and again take a step back and see the whole picture in order to lead with love.  

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Mentioned in this episode:

MIT Sloan Management Review article: Bad Apples or Bad Leaders?
Charn McAllister on LinkedIn
[email protected]
Charn McAllister: It’s Important To Be Likable (Episode #50)
Katie C. Alexander onLinkedIn
B. Parker Ellen III on LinkedIn
[email protected]

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Quotes:

• “The mind-heart connection is essential; we can’t expect that we’re just going to exercise, eat right, and be healthy, and run a multimillion dollar business and not avoid having a heart attack from all the stress we’re ignoring.” [11:45] Guest, Dr. Jonathan Fisher, describes the core message behind Just One Heart. Caring for the mind-heart connection within yourself AND between our peers with our physiological responses and influences.
• “If I have to face you [a cardiologist], that means I’m having heart issues. But if I can manage the heart through those 4 dimensions—physical, emotional, social and spiritual—and live the kind of life, having the proper balance that addresses those 4 areas...this is life-changing.” [17:34] Host Marcel Schwantes responds to Dr. Fisher’s explanation on how cardiologists should be gauging heart health with their short 7 minutes of face-to-face time in the patient exam room.
• “People who don't have a sense of their core purpose and meaning and transcendent sense of belonging in life... Those people are at higher risk of dying young from heart diseases.” [26:02] Dr. Fisher elaborates on the heart crisis of today riddled with obesity, depression, anxiety, loneliness, and loss of purpose. This ‘Doom and Gloom’ only proves to emphasize the extreme need to focus on multidimensional heart health. 
• “I didn’t want to just avoid being sick. I wanted to live a good life.” [30:55] As he sets up the support for the message in his book, Dr. Fisher explains the 7 traits of a healthy heart that go beyond physical health. All listed in an intentional and meaningful order: Steadiness, Wisdom, Openness, Wholeness, Courage, Lightness, and Warmth.
• “We are often so harsh with ourselves... that it spills over and affects others negatively, and we don't know it until people tell us. So it begins by examining the way we speak to ourselves and treat ourselves. And we begin by treating ourselves with love and kindness.” [44:25] Working his way through the 7 traits from the book, Dr. Fisher poses step-by-step questions to assess and work on your heart. 
• “If I can just pause and be a little gentler to myself and treat myself with some ease and lightness, there’s this amazing spillover effect that everyone else around me can feel.” [48:12] As Marcel and Dr. Fisher close out their conversation, Dr. Fisher reminds and encourages listeners to be kind to yourself. It goes a long way. 

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Mentioned in this episode:

Jonathan Fisher, MD, FACC
Instagram - @happyheartMD
Jonathan Fisher on LinkedIn
Just One Heart: A Cardiologist’s Guide to Healing, Health, and Happiness
Episode 223: Dr. James Doty: The Neuroscience of Manifestation

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• “If you focus on just hiring a diversity of folks and you don’t focus on creating a culture of belonging, with inclusive leadership, people are going to come right in the front door and go right out the back door.” [20:03] That's what Jonathan Stutz calls a ‘leaky bucket’ when it comes to flipping the DEI (diversity, equity, inclusion) to ID&E, putting the priority on inclusion. Jonathan and Eddie Pate discuss why inclusivity in the workplace is so important. They take an important stance on the nuance of race and gender inclusion.
   
• “The whole notion of micro inequities and micro advantages are these subtle actions, statements, or comments that significantly influence the way a person feels or how much they feel they belong. These are often targeted towards people who are underestimated—racial minorities, LGBTQ, and women in situations.” [37:45] Alongside micro vulnerabilities, microaggressions, and microinequities are actions that mute and remove talented individuals from a position of contribution. Eddie discusses how understanding these can help you and others around you see how micro-inequities and micro-advantages are being used and turn them around. He highlights The Platinum Rule, where instead of treating people how YOU want to be treated, treat them how THEY want to be treated.
   
• “You’re always going to hire the best candidate for the job, but having that diversity is something that needs to be there.” [53:10] What is candidate slating? How can you have an inclusive hiring process? Jonathan shares some tips on how to create effective diverse hiring, like creating a diverse hiring board as well as casting a wide net, including multiple outgroups or minorities, and removing tokenistic diversity from the equation. Eddie reaffirms the importance of this process by adding the need for inclusive hiring training for leadership.
   
• “How do we turn a meeting into a more inclusive meeting?” [56:21] Host Marcel Shwantes seeks ‘everyday pebbles’ tips to turn moments that everyone has across their workday into a more inclusive place, creating ripples through the organization. Eddie shares the ‘pause button’ as an agreed-upon process in a meeting to further discussion and slow down when it comes to hot topics. Jonathan dives into the importance of 1:1 meetings, a place to grow trust between manager and employee.
   
• “You have to be very clear: you are not going to drive this yourself. ID&E is not a top-down endeavor, and that’s how this works. It's top-down, middle-out, bottom-up.” [1:04:20] Eddie State CEOs need to not call out but call in, opening up to learning and taking accountability. Jonathan chimes in that inclusion is a daily endeavor with lots of little things, changing processes like SMART goals to SMARTIE—adding inclusion and equity to the consideration of everything.
  
  
• “This is a journey, not a destination. Inclusive leadership is leadership.” [1:10:55] As the three close out the episode, Jonathan and Eddie share their number one takeaways that drive home the point that inclusion is a non-negotiable priority as a leader of an organization, and the pebbles ripple throughout every employee's life. 

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Mentioned in this episode:

Daily Practice of Inclusive Leaders
Eddie Pate
Jonathan Stutz : Global Diversity Partners
Marcel

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• “The stories we tell are as, if not more, important than what happened” [8:29] As Peter Kim,  introduces his research on trust, he discusses how the narratives we portray and the reasons behind actions are the key pieces behind trust. This couldn't be a more critical point when society is so divided. 
  
  
• “If I’m to take the stance, 'no, my initial trust should be 0’... that would have had an enormous effect on my life to a degree where I wouldn't have been able to enjoy the vast number of experiences I’ve been able to have.” [17:30] Where does trust start and build? Peter explains how a higher level of trust as a baseline is crucial to life experiences, whether that be to travel and try new foods or to build relationships. With no trust comes no experience. He says we are better off with a high level of trust because, in general, it ends up to our benefit by self fulfilling prophecy.
  
  
• “What I’ve found is that as soon as you see it as a violation of integrity or an indication that they lack integrity… it’s almost impossible to repair that relationship.” [28:40] Is it possible to rebuild and repair trust? Peter explains that people in general do not believe that integrity can improve, but if they switch the lens of the reason for that breach of trust to be a competence issue like a lack of understanding or pressure from another factor, it is more likely for the trust to be repaired because we can see and believe that people can learn and increase competence. 
  
  
• “We see those in positions of power differently. We believe for example, that CEOs, if they are involved in a transgression, it’s more intentional.”[36:46] Similar to the way trust is perceived between outside groups, trust is more divided between positions of power and the people below them. CEOs face a difficult challenge of perception where people question their integrity and, even more so, the genuineness of their remorse when trying to correct transgressions. Peter explains how CEOs can rule out the idea or challenge of a ‘lack of integrity’ through their actions and the relationships they create with their followers and employees. 
  
  
• “Most people do want to do the right thing; [Netflix] has found [their HR policy] has been an extraordinarily helpful way of reducing bureaucracy, enabling freedom, creativity, and productivity at the organization. That is an approach based on seeing the good in people, believing people are trustworthy, and creating the atmosphere that allows that to flourish.” [42:02] Peter shares an example from the company Netflix in which their policy embodies the act of trust. Other organizations can also create this really effective environment of natural trust.

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Mentioned in this episode:

Peter H. Kim, PhD, Author
Peter Kim - Professor - University of Southern California - Marshall School of Business | LinkedIn
Marcel Schwantes on LinkedIn
Marcel Schwantes

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Quotes:

• “The heart has a causal role in modulating perception…how we think, how we feel.” [24:56] After Dr. Rollin McCraty walks us through his background and what brought him to HeartMath, we dive into the science of the heart. We all know the popular phrase I love you with all of my heart… It’s not I love you with all of my brain. In fact, there is a natural, scientific reason behind this simple expression of love. We have this sense that there is more to the heart, and science supports that.
• “What we feel, whether we’re frustrated or angry or impatient OR we’re more calm, or compassionate, appreciative, these emotions are directly reflected in the rhythmic pattern that the heart is beating.” [29:53] Dr. McCraty gets into the science of how the heart transports information through the thalamus to the brain, and what it means for this rhythm to be incoherent disruption is transmission through the thalamus.
• “The heart is carrying emotional state information…so what I’m saying, quite literally, is that we are broadcasting; we are radiating our emotions into the field. It doesn’t stop at the skin.” [42:57]  You can feel the tension in the room. This is a familiar phrase that has more truth than we might realize. The truth is, we are emanating our feelings, and others can feel them too. The power this has over the energy of a room is palpable.
• “You can learn a heart math technique on how to shift into coherence in minutes when you practice it, but how do you bring that in and sustain it within an organization?" [55:09] McCraty comments that it is not usually a culture shift that's needed, it's a climate shift. After today’s discussion about the way our emotions emanate around us, this makes perfect sense.
• “This is a technique called Shift and Lift; it’s something you can do with your eyes open ( no one needs to know you’re doing it), right when you’re in a meeting or dealing with a difficult client to create a more coherent environment. This is where we are taking responsibility for what we are putting into that energetic field.” [58:45] McCraty walks Marcel through this exercise from a Heart Math program that involves breathing and shifting your thoughts to kindness, love, and appreciation. Marcel shares how he visualized his way through this exercise.
• “If enough of us as individuals start taking that responsibility and adding that love, care, compassion, and kindness into the field, that makes it easier for others around us and globally to wake up their next level.” [1:10:33] As we close out our conversation, Dr. McCraty urges us to pause throughout the day and examine the feelings and emotions we’re holding onto. Are we putting out anger and frustration? Focus on how you can make that shift to love and care. The impact is one that will radiate around the world. 

Mentioned in this episode:
HeartMath Institute
Science of the Heart | HeartMath Institute
Rollin McCraty - Research Director - HeartMath Institute | LinkedIn
The Business Plan for Peace: Building a World Without War: Elworthy, Dr Scilla: 9781999816438
Marcel Schwantes on LinkedIn
Marcel Schwantes

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• “You’re the only person that can accept yourself, forgive yourself, and understand that we are all frail, fragile human beings and nonetheless, we all deserve to be loved.” [18:58] Jim Doty, author of “Mind Magic” starts the episode with the story of how he was helped to overcome his childhood trauma by the woman from the magic shop. He explains how, in many ways, trauma and unconscious baggage cause people to lose their Self agency seeking external affirmation. This validation seeking becomes an unconscious driver of your behavior, even manifesting perhaps the “bad” things that happen to you. 
• “I realized my actions were fear based because of what I felt my deficiencies were, and I was masking them by showing off to other people. Once I reoriented myself after this period of reflection, I realized its not about me and what really makes a life is to be of service to others.” [25:38] As a seriously successful neurosurgeon with a plethora of high value material possessions, one might think Jim ‘had it all’, but left with an emptiness inside even among his success, he entered a period of reflection that pointed him in a new direction. He shares later in the episode that even though he had manifested everything he wanted, he had not manifested what he needed.
• “When you don’t believe you deserve it, that limits you in achieving.” [36:40] What are you already manifesting? Jim explains how all of our habits and beliefs make up all of our decisions and actions, for good and for bad. You can use the power of the mind to change your life, whether that's your physiology or your intentions. 
• “Using these techniques, and the right mental framework greatly increases the likelihood of something manifesting if its going to manifest at all.” [43:47] Value Tagging is a technique Jim explains that acts as a filing system of your subconscious to assign value to your desires, dreams, and goals in the forefront of your mind. This isn’t a 100% ticket to reaching success, but it is highly more effective than living in a fear state or focusing and assigning mental value to things you don’t actually want.
• “The electromagnetic energy [from your heart] emanates about 3 to 5 feet outside of your body, and people are attuned to that.” [49:28] There are far more electromagnetic energies that contribute to human presence than most of us realize. Jim uses the example of being able to understand how your partner is feeling without saying a word, or how you can sense kindness from a stranger after only being around them briefly. These electromagnetic energies are processed and sent to the brain, so that when you train your brain intentionally, it not only affects you physiologically but also how you actually walk and interact in the world. 
• “You have to love yourself to give love to others. There is this fear of being your authentic self, and when that fear is the driver, it blinds you.” [1:19:24] As Marcel and Jim wrap up this conversation, Jim speaks to the leaders about love and authenticity and the powerful impact they have on an organization.

Mentioned in this episode:
James Doty
Mind Magic by James R. Doty, MD: 9780593541142 | PenguinRandomHouse.com: Books
CCARE Stanford
[email protected]
Happi.ai
Marcel Schwantes on LinkedIn
Marcel Schwantes

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Segment 1 featuring Gianpiero Petriglieri:

• “We are neither incompetent or not malevolent, we are just caught within a model of leadership which really doesn't describe the sort of leadership we want to see in the world, and that we ourselves would like to see in the world. [9:10] The overwhelmingly used type of leadership is the dominant model. It is called this not just because it is a dominant form of leadership across organizations but also it is dominant in nature. Gianpiero Petriglieri calls out this model as narrow and deceiving focusing to much on attention and getting other people to do what you want. It’s used often but it is the base of every complaint people have with leadership. Why are we still using it?
• “In my experience people don’t click when the see someone that fits a model, they click when they see someone that makes them feel understood and motivated.” [17:41] As Gianpiero discusses his perspective and research, he calls out that it’s not really about what people CALL leadership but WHAT people call leadership. Listen for that clear distinction…what makes people follow, listen, and trust in leader?
• “Leadership is not inside people. It’s between people.” [22:21] Leadership is a relationship. Gianpiero comments, we are aspiring to be more caring and generous in other relationships, why wouldnt you want to integrate those as a leader?
• “What is it that you’re worried about. What would it take for you to get less worried?” [34:49] What is holding us back from making the shift away from dominant leadership? Gianopiero challenges that we are afraid to be vulnerable, afraid to be hurt, and ultimately afraid people will think we are ‘soft’. He ends his segment calling out leaders to make love a part of the job, even if its scary and even if its hard.

Segment 2 featuring Joe Davis:

• “You have to recognize that your people are humans. They are not cogs in the wheel.” [58:46] As Joe Davis explains the 7 ways ways to give of yourself from his book, The Generous Leader, Marcel and Joe dive into #2: Generous Communication. Here Marcel reads an email in which Joe generously and deeply connected to his employees amidst the pandemic, among this touching communication Joe also shares other practical tips; keep it short and accessible, ask questions, and listen.
• “An Action Ally is someone who is paving the way, opening the door, and creating opportunities for someone else to walk through and perform.” [1:04:20] In chapter 5, Joe discusses allyship; you can wear the button, you can hit diversity metrics, but how can you be an action ally? Joe explains how you can support, mentor, and be an ally.
• “If you are not inspiring them, they are gonna walk. You need more of the best to really drive results.” [1:10:20]  How is Generous Leadership and the bottom line connected? Well, you need your employees and your team and you need to them to be all in, inspired, and motivated. 
• “It’s not all about you. You are not the solution to all the answers. You have to do it with and through leverage all of your people.” [1:13:13]  How do make the transition to generous leadership? Ask questions, respect what your people have to say, and small acts of appreciation! The world is changing and the world is blurred…connection is more important than ever.

Mentioned in this episode:

Gianpiero Petriglieri
Leadership is a Kind of Love
Joe Davis
The Generous Leader: 7 Ways to Give of Yourself for Everyone’

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Samantha is a coach, consultant, writer, and the founder of The Love Summit Business and Leadership Conference. Through coaching and consulting, she helps individuals and businesses lead by an ethic of love for greater congruence in their lives and organizations.  You can sign up for Samantha’s newsletter at Just Choose Love where you will get updates on her upcoming book and more. 

Quotes:

“I was insistent we call it The Love Summit, because I thought it was important that we didn't shy away from using the word love. That’s part of our problem when we hide from things, then there is no way we can face them the way they need to be faced.” [11:06]  Guest Samantha Thomas shares her story, research, and the creation of The Love Summit Business and Leadership Conference. 

“Love is that extension of ourselves for the growth [of others], giving life to another or ourself.” [13.58] Samantha resonates the most with M. Scott Peck’s definition of love ‘Love is the will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth. Love is as love does. Love is an act of will — namely, both an intention and an action.’ The two refer frequently to the definition throughout the episode as an important way to see and provide love as a leader. 

“When leaders lead like dictators, when they lead from the top down, people don’t want to support them. They are not inspired by them, they don't feel safe with them.” [29:10] Samantha says it herself, this is not news, people! Humans, employees, and individuals want to be loved. Consider icons like JFK or MLK; they led from a place of common interest, goals that would serve the people and in turn people followed them. 

“What helps human beings to perform better? It’s not such a mystery; we just need to be treated like humans.” [37:21] We are overpathologizing ourselves instead of leaning into the humanness of life. Samantha explains the problems that can arise with pathologizing, not dealing with inner problems, and talking to our peers about what is causing their suffering. 

“Changing our relationship to suffering, having the courage to face it and walk through the things that are causing our suffering. Rather than evading or taking the fearful route. That is where true wisdom comes from.” [42:35] Our personal experiences of suffering and changes in life are so valuable to ourselves and the people we work with. A common theme of this episode is not to shy away from the hard stuff, because the hard stuff makes the biggest impact. 

“We grow through helping other people grow.” [50:39] As Marcel and Samantha close out the episode, Samantha shares some leaving sentiments and 4 shifts she encourages leaders to make for the growth in themself and their people; Perspective, Personal Growth, Narrow Mindness, and Relationship with pain.

Mentioned in this episode:
Just Choose Love
Congruence Coaching, LLC
IG: @lovebyst
FB: facebook.com/justchooselove
LI: linkedin.com/in/samantha-thomas-56563b28
Marcel Schwantes - Ooltewah, Tennessee, Professional Profile | LinkedIn
Marcel Schwantes

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Quotes:

• “It’s hard to believe I’m an expert in belonging when so long in my career...I didn’t belong.” [07:55] Guest Brad Deutser shares his diverse background that led to his company, Deutser Consulting Firm, all about human approach to change!
• “What the research found is that belonging is actually above strategy AND culture.” [21:56] As Brad explains the levels of research that went into his book, Belonging Rules: Five Crucial Actions That Build Unity and Foster Performance, he shares this idea that belonging at work is a crucial purpose in society as a whole. He even found that people were able to work for LESS if they had more belonging at work!
• “In our organization, in our families, in our communities... it doesn't matter where; there are power structures that impede our progress and our ability to win.” [25:45]  Rule #1: Turn into the power, Brad dives into the first rule in his book explaining power structures and compliance that comes along with things like affirmative action, title 9, and DEI. How do we turn into the power? Pause. It’s not charging through but instead stopping, thinking, and asking questions.
• “When we listen with labels, we diminish people… we diminish their thinking, their ideas.” [33:30] Brad’s Rule #2: Listen Without Labels serves as a message that yes, labels can be true, but they often don’t tell the complete story. Removing labels from listening allows you to see the big picture without bias and engage differently. 
• “Purpose alone doesn’t give the differentiation enough to where someone says, ‘I’m going to opt in to THAT’.” [38:57] Oranizational identity is made up of purpose (the why it exists), the values, and the behaviors expected, which comes back to Rule #3: Identity over Purpose. It’s about creating a space of shared importance. 
• “Challenge needs to be a bigger part of our society; how we challenge needs to be different.” [42:04] Too often people confuse conflict and challenge. Rule #4: Challenge Everything. Brad explains what an effective positive challenge versus a negative conflict. He outlines how to invite challenges to incite creativity with curious and human questioning. You need to stop coming to conversations with your boxing gloves on!
• “Do you really tell 100% of the truth? Or do tell 100% of YOUR truth? It’s different than THE truth.” [49:45] The last rule is a tricky one, RULE #5: Demand 100% of the truth. Reject the 80% of the truth that is typical, and go after that additional 20%. There are things that our easier not to talk about; diversity, psychological safety, inclusion. These are the truths that are often not told. We don’t have to have the answers, but we do need to have the questions. 
• “Leadership doesn’t start at a certain time, later in our life. It starts early in our life.” [1:00:49] Brad is talking about the leadership tether, this is one of the exercises he encourages listeners to try as Brad and Marcel close out the episode. He asks listeners to go back as far as they can and create a timeline of events and opportunities where they were called on as a leader, and consider the commonalities and feelings of belonging associated with these events. 

Mentioned in this episode:

Deutser
Cultivating Belonging In Leadership: Institute For Belonging
Brad Deutser on LinkedIn
Belonging Rules: Five Crucial Actions That Build Unity and Fos

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“Patience gets a bad rap, because the doubters and skeptics tend to think that if you slow down, the flow of the business slows down.” [3:13] People too often mistake patient leaders for passive leaders. Marcel shares a real life example of how officers deescalated a dangerous situation with a slowed down, patient approach and how this translates into the workplace and high pressure environments.

“When you’re face with high-stake challenges, critical decisions that need to be made… take a moment to collect your thoughts and reflect on your perspective, rather than reacting impulsively.” [5:55] Marcel highlights the patience is a super power that leaders have that can actually prevent unnecessary conflict and make way for more effective solutions.

Mentioned in this episode:
Marcel Schwantes on LinkedIn
Marcel Schwantes

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