Carl Narcisse, a partner on the talent team at Andreessen Horowitz, and Whitnie Narcisse, formerly an operating partner at First Round Capital who just launched a matchmaking company, talk to Erik Torenberg about their relationship.

The couple discuss their decade-long marriage that began at a baseball game, balancing tech careers with raising three children, and applying "people ops" principles to their partnership—like maintaining a #relationshipgoals spreadsheet to track their goals. They share insights on navigating cultural differences, dating 360s, and why relationships require both spiritual alignment and a growth mindset.

Modern Relationships is a podcast from Turpentine. Learn more: www.turpentine.co

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LINKS:

Whitnie’s website: Whitnie.com

a16z.com: https://a16z.com/

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FOLLOW ON X:

Carl - @cnarcisse

Whitnie - @WhitnieLow

Erik - @eriktorenberg

Turpentine - @turpentinemedia

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TIMESTAMPS:

(00:00) Intro

(01:34) How Whitnie and Carl Met

(03:49) Their Dating Journeys Before Meeting

(07:22) Recognizing the Right Partner

(09:57) Early Relationship Challenges

(14:00) Cultural Differences

(15:50) Sponsor: Relationship Hero

(17:25) Handling Temperament Differences

(19:00) Balancing Energy Levels

(21:28) Wanting a Partner Who Leads

(23:40) Whitnie’s Evolution from Avoidant to Secure

(27:09) Applying People Ops to Marriage

(31:47) Building a Support System

(33:52) Relationship Goals and Communication

(38:26) Whitnie’s Dating Concierge Business

(44:23) The Value of 360 Reviews in Dating

(47:04) Finding the Right Partner vs. The "Perfect" Match

(53:34) Dating Process Advice

(56:04) Marriage and Commitment

(1:00:18) Navigating Challenges in Marriage

(1:02:09) Parallels Between Recruiting and Matchmaking

(1:04:30) Wrap

Chapters

• 00:00:00 Intro
• 00:01:34 How Whitnie and Carl Met
• 00:03:49 Their Dating Journeys Before Meeting
• 00:07:22 Recognizing the Right Partner
• 00:09:57 Early Relationship Challenges
• 00:14:00 Cultural Differences
• 00:15:50 Sponsor: Relationship Hero
• 00:17:25 Handling Temperament Differences
• 00:19:00 Balancing Energy Levels
• 00:21:28 Wanting a Partner Who Leads
• 00:23:40 Whitnie's Evolution from Avoidant to Secure
• 00:27:09 Applying People Ops to Marriage
• 00:31:47 Building a Support System
• 00:33:52 Relationship Goals and Communication
• 00:38:26 Whitnie's Dating Concierge Business
• 00:44:23 The Value of 360 Reviews in Dating
• 00:47:04 Finding the Right Partner vs. The "Perfect" Match
• 00:53:34 Dating Process Advice
• 00:56:04 Marriage and Commitment
• 01:00:18 Navigating Challenges in Marriage
• 01:02:09 Parallels Between Recruiting and Matchmaking
• 01:04:30 Wrap