Loving On Purpose

This is an interview I had with daughter Julie and mother Jane about their relationship with each other.  Each shares their perspectives of what showing love, respect, and support to an adult child looks like.  You will first hear from the Julie the daughter and then Jane the  mom.  Listen closely for the common thread of love, respect, and support each has for each other.  Proof that love always wins; what happens when the parent puts her desires aside for the desires of her daughter;  we don't know what's best for another person.

I am no longer offering my 8-week coaching program, but I remain fully committed to supporting parents of adult children. If you have questions or need guidance, you’re welcome to reach out to me directly at [email protected].

I would be honored to help you find greater confidence and happiness in your life

What are the obstacles keeping you from loving your adult children.? "Oh, but I do love them" you say.  I say back to you, "if love feels so amazing, why are you so miserable."

Love trumps every other emotion.  Love will win every time.  What's keeping us from feeling complete and whole that love offers to us to feel....our thoughts about our adult children's choices and behavior.  It's not your child's fault that you are feeling disappointed, hurt, resentful, unloved, disrespected.  It's your fault.  It's what you are making your child's actions or inactions mean. 

 I point out to you five obstacles that are robbing you of feeling the reward that only loving your adult children  can offer you.  It's your responsibility to love them (only if you don't want to feel miserable) not their responsibility to earn your love.  

Love is always an option.  Love is always available.  Love is a choice.

I am no longer offering my 8-week coaching program, but I remain fully committed to supporting parents of adult children. If you have questions or need guidance, you’re welcome to reach out to me directly at [email protected].

I would be honored to help you find greater confidence and happiness in your life

Do you see the glass half empty or half full?  Would you like to view the world more positively?  In this episode I tell you how to do this.  "Sitting on our shoulders is the most complicated object in the know universe" .........Michio Kaku.  And we all were given one.  We can't control, nor would would want to, our heart beating or our breathing routine or our kidney function.  But we can control which thoughts we want to think or believe.  When we choose negative thoughts we will feel negative feelings; when we choose positive thoughts we feel positive feelings.  We can't become the boss of our adult children but we can become the boss of our brain.  Being able to control the circumstances with our children is impossible; learning to control the thoughts in our brains is all in our control.  If we can learn to choose our thoughts. and not let our brain arbitrarily make those decisions, than that means we control how we want to feel.

I am no longer offering my 8-week coaching program, but I remain fully committed to supporting parents of adult children. If you have questions or need guidance, you’re welcome to reach out to me directly at [email protected].

I would be honored to help you find greater confidence and happiness in your life

We use the term boundaries pretty loosely.   It's important to know when it's appropriate to use.  We need to make sure we like our reason for setting a boundary verses making a request.   A request is just that....a request.  A boundary is a request but if not honored there is a consequence.  The consequence needs to be what "YOU" will do if the request is not honored....not what the violator needs to do.  The hardest part of setting a boundary is following through with the action you have established you will do if the request is not respected.  Because we aren't responsible for other peoples' feelings, we can't control whether they will like our action or not. When you follow through with the consequence you become responsible for your feelings.

I am no longer offering my 8-week coaching program, but I remain fully committed to supporting parents of adult children. If you have questions or need guidance, you’re welcome to reach out to me directly at [email protected].

I would be honored to help you find greater confidence and happiness in your life

Love is the most amazing feeling anyone can feel. My little Harvey (my grandson) loves his "lovey"....his ragged, little stuffed dog he calls Bunny. There are no conditions attached to loving his Bunny. Do you know why? Because it makes him feel so amazing. In this episode I talk about what LOVE feels like and what LOVE does. I'm talking specifically about loving children that are challenging to love. I talk about what we have to do to love others who are difficult to love. We can choose to love anyone we want....even if they are doing things we disapprove of. Loving someone does not equate to approving of their behavior. When our children are at their worse is when they need our love the most. Decide to love everyone and your life will be more amazing than you could ever imagine.

For a transcript of this episode go to https://www.bonnielyman.com/podcast/

I am no longer offering my 8-week coaching program, but I remain fully committed to supporting parents of adult children. If you have questions or need guidance, you’re welcome to reach out to me directly at [email protected].

I would be honored to help you find greater confidence and happiness in your life

Your adult children are gone; off figuring life out on their own.  Some of you find yourself unfulfilled because your life without them is not as you expected.  Sometimes you are feeling unappreciated or disappointed.  Some of you are feeling disconnected from these people you were once the most important person in their life.  It's time to find a new way of spending your time.  It's time to find a new passion; something that lights you up; something that makes you feel excited about getting up in the morning.
In this episode, I talk about ways to find your new passion and what's keeping you stuck in not finding it.  One of the remedies to feeling connected to your adult children is to "get a life".

I am no longer offering my 8-week coaching program, but I remain fully committed to supporting parents of adult children. If you have questions or need guidance, you’re welcome to reach out to me directly at [email protected].

I would be honored to help you find greater confidence and happiness in your life

This is a replay of one of Jody Moore's podcast when she interviewed me about a year ago.  I know many have heard this interview but many have not.  I'm proud of this daughter of mine....just like I'm proud of my other 4 children and what they are doing in the world, maybe  just not with the notoriety that Jody has.  I love them all the same.  You would think that a relationship between a mom and a daughter who both run a coaching business would be easy peasy.  We are both human so that means we aren't always at our best when around each other.  But that never means that we don't love each other.  I hope you enjoy this episode.

I am no longer offering my 8-week coaching program, but I remain fully committed to supporting parents of adult children. If you have questions or need guidance, you’re welcome to reach out to me directly at [email protected].

I would be honored to help you find greater confidence and happiness in your life

Just when we thought we had resolved some challenges with our adult children, a son or daughter-in-law enter the picture.  Remember we are a parent, we are no longer parenting.  You are no longer the most important person in their lives.  Everything you did as a couple or as a parent is not going to be copied by your child and their spouse.  They are going to do it a whole different way.  And that's ok.  You get set boundaries, if necessary, but do it in a loving, kind way.  The important thing about any relationship is to focus on what is going right; the most most important thing you can do for your child and their spouse is to tell them, often, the things you love that they are doing.

I am no longer offering my 8-week coaching program, but I remain fully committed to supporting parents of adult children. If you have questions or need guidance, you’re welcome to reach out to me directly at [email protected].

I would be honored to help you find greater confidence and happiness in your life

I hate the word goal.  It puts a lot of pressure on me to make them and keep them.  But there is so much benefit in "following our dreams".  So I'm going to call it a wish.  What do I wish to happen or become in 2023 that will help me be engaged in fulfilling activities.  What do I wish I could do that would cause me to be happier?  What could I do to focus on things that uplift me rather than tear me down?  My quality of life is in my control.  Yes...there is always opposition but that adds to the fulfillment of doing something this year I didn't do last year.  Listen to my  six strategies of how to become a happier you.  A happier you also means a happier relationship with your adult children.  

I am no longer offering my 8-week coaching program, but I remain fully committed to supporting parents of adult children. If you have questions or need guidance, you’re welcome to reach out to me directly at [email protected].

I would be honored to help you find greater confidence and happiness in your life

Some of you are probably not looking forward to Christmas.  Maybe even dreading that it's here because of a painful relationship with an adult child or some other family member.  In this episode I show you why accepting the circumstance, without giving up the desire for it to be different, helps you enjoy the holidays more than if you were resisting the hurt filled circumstance.  Choosing love, compassion and forgiveness are key to living a well lived life but acceptance of the painful parts is what keeps us moving forward loving our children despite their behavior.  Loving them doesn't equate to supporting their actions....it only brings you closer to choosing love rather than judgement.

I am no longer offering my 8-week coaching program, but I remain fully committed to supporting parents of adult children. If you have questions or need guidance, you’re welcome to reach out to me directly at [email protected].

I would be honored to help you find greater confidence and happiness in your life