Loving On Purpose

Do you say yes every time your adult children ask you to watch their kids?  Are you afraid if you say no they will be mad at you?  Or your grandkids won't like you as much as the other grandma?  If so you might be what we call a "people pleaser".  I like to please people, especially my family members but not at my expense.  Listen to find out how to know when to say yes and when to say no when someone makes a request of you.  Saying yes out of fear or insecurity is different than saying yes from self love and love.

I am no longer offering my 8-week coaching program, but I remain fully committed to supporting parents of adult children. If you have questions or need guidance, you’re welcome to reach out to me directly at [email protected].

I would be honored to help you find greater confidence and happiness in your life

Do you want to know how to influence your adult children?  Show up as a parent that loves them no matter how they treat you.  You are a circumstance in their lives.  We don't have control over their thoughts so that means we don't have control over whether they accept or even feel our love.  What are the chances if you show up as a kind and loving person that they will know you love them.  You can influence them by showing them what an unconditionally loving parent acts like.  Benefit to you....you live without regret and love is always a gift we give ourselves when we freely give it.
Listen to find out how to love on purpose.

I am no longer offering my 8-week coaching program, but I remain fully committed to supporting parents of adult children. If you have questions or need guidance, you’re welcome to reach out to me directly at [email protected].

I would be honored to help you find greater confidence and happiness in your life

I was so inspired when I spent three days listening to Brooke Castillo share how to live the life you want.  My biggest take away is that most of us are not living our happiest life because we haven't "decided" to commit to living a happy life.  Some quotes I shared in this episode that she said....."Everything you struggle with, you choose to struggle with."...."What does it take to make a decision?  You either do it or you don't."...."You don't need someone's consent to love them."  Brooke Castillo created the Model.  It is the foundation for my coaching.  I hope you will invest in your mental health.  If not with me then with someone else.  Taking care of our mental health is more than getting physical exercise.  It's learning how to mentally exercise.

I am no longer offering my 8-week coaching program, but I remain fully committed to supporting parents of adult children. If you have questions or need guidance, you’re welcome to reach out to me directly at [email protected].

I would be honored to help you find greater confidence and happiness in your life

Gratitude is more than just a good virtue to copy.  It actually causes us to be happier.  And what about appreciation.  The thought that you are good enough just the way you are.  In fact you are amazing and your life would be more abundant with love if you believed that.  You didn't create you so it's ok to think that.  Having thought of appreciation for ourselves and our lives causes us to have the feeling of gratitude.  When we are grateful for what we already have, we live a more abundant life because  the moments and the small things that we have or happen in our lives are just enough.
Listen to find out how appreciating yourself makes it easier for your adult children to appreciate and love you.

I am no longer offering my 8-week coaching program, but I remain fully committed to supporting parents of adult children. If you have questions or need guidance, you’re welcome to reach out to me directly at [email protected].

I would be honored to help you find greater confidence and happiness in your life

I offer you four steps to coach yourself when you are stuck in feeling a negative emotion and you don't know what to do.  If you follow these four steps, you will be able to start practicing what we call self coaching.  You will be able to choose the feeling you want to feel.  This doesn't mean you won't need some coaching from a certified coach, but it will give you a taste of how effective coaching can be.

I am no longer offering my 8-week coaching program, but I remain fully committed to supporting parents of adult children. If you have questions or need guidance, you’re welcome to reach out to me directly at [email protected].

I would be honored to help you find greater confidence and happiness in your life

Thank you, kind people, for the responses I've received from sending out my weekly newsletter, THURSDATE.  Here are some of the most popular ones.  They are gems of thoughts on how to live a more contented life, especially when dealing with unfulfilled expectations of our adult children.  Life can be as good as we want it to be.  We just need to learn how we, ourselves, can choose to the exact life we want  Listen to see if there is something in this episode that causes your life to feel more uplifted.

If you enjoyed this podcast and want to start finding out how to work with me, go to the following resources:

Sign up for my weekly newletter THURSDATE:   bonnielyman.com

*Book a 60 minute consult with me;  click HERE

*Receive my free resource,  Three Steps To Being Yourself In Your Relationships With Adult Children.        NEW RESOURCE!

I am no longer offering my 8-week coaching program, but I remain fully committed to supporting parents of adult children. If you have questions or need guidance, you’re welcome to reach out to me directly at [email protected].

I would be honored to help you find greater confidence and happiness in your life

Most of us have desires in some area of our adult children's life where we would like them to be different.  We most often express an unfulfilled expectation as "I want them to change.  I want things different than how things really are in our relationship."  It might be wanting your children to spend equal time between the two sets of parents when they are in town; it might be wanting them to get a job; it might be as minor as you wanting them to return a text.  But when we feel stuck and hurt in not getting what we want, maybe that want is a need; but you are responsible for fulfilling your needs.  You feel you need them to change for you to feel the way you want to feel.  This can lead to unhealthy relationships because we have become dependent on our children to fulfill our needs which they don't have the power to do. They  feel your neediness, so they react by not wanting to be around you.  Your neediness can be overbearing and judgmental.  It's healthy and fine to want them to act a certain way, as long as you are ok with them when the use their agency in the way they want to use it.  Listen to find out how to have a happier life by wanting and not needing.

I am no longer offering my 8-week coaching program, but I remain fully committed to supporting parents of adult children. If you have questions or need guidance, you’re welcome to reach out to me directly at [email protected].

I would be honored to help you find greater confidence and happiness in your life

We have a choice of what kind of life we want to live, emotionally.  We can believe we are a victim of our circumstances or we take responsibility to feel anyway we want to feel.  When we play victim, we lose all control of living the life we want to live.  When we take responsibility for what we can control, our thoughts and feelings, we determine the outcome of our lives.  This episode teaches you the difference between emotional childhood, where you are the victim, and emotional adulthood, where you are the "captain" of your life.  It's no wonder most of us feel like victims to our circumstances because no one ever taught us how feelings are created.  It's a game changer to know that it's your responsibility to fulfill your own needs, and not be dependent on others to do it for you.

I am no longer offering my 8-week coaching program, but I remain fully committed to supporting parents of adult children. If you have questions or need guidance, you’re welcome to reach out to me directly at [email protected].

I would be honored to help you find greater confidence and happiness in your life

Our brains run off of two software programs.  A positive software program and a negative one.  It's our choice as to which one we want to use.  But it seems we automatically default to using the negative program when our children are not doing things like we would like.  We are so familiar with this program that we don't even try to use the positive program.  When a negative circumstance happens we lean toward thinking that it's going to be this way forever.  If we were to use the positive program more often, we would become more optimistic about positive changes happening in everyone's lives.  Listen to four steps I offer you to become more optimistic about negative circumstances working out.

I am no longer offering my 8-week coaching program, but I remain fully committed to supporting parents of adult children. If you have questions or need guidance, you’re welcome to reach out to me directly at [email protected].

I would be honored to help you find greater confidence and happiness in your life

I was privileged to be interviewed by Kurt Francom on his podcast Leading Saints.  Listen to find out about all the good things Kurt's offers the world to connect, understand and love one another better.  I answer lots of questions regarding navigating life with adult children which causes a parent to feel pain.  From not feeling important in their lives to them searching elsewhere besides the faith they were raised in to find meaning to their lives to fulfilling unfurled expectations.

Kurt is offering a free 14 day trial membership to his Core Leader Library that is full of useful knowledge he has acquired over the years from interviews and events with people struggling in areas they never thought they would be struggling in.  go to leadingsaints.org/14 to sign up.

If you enjoyed this podcast and want to start finding out how to work with me, go to the following resources:

Sign up for my weekly newletter THURSDATE:   bonnielyman.com

*Book a 60 minute consult with me;  click HERE

*Receive my free resource,  Three Steps To Being Yourself In Your Relationships With Adult Children.        NEW RESOURCE!

I am no longer offering my 8-week coaching program, but I remain fully committed to supporting parents of adult children. If you have questions or need guidance, you’re welcome to reach out to me directly at [email protected].

I would be honored to help you find greater confidence and happiness in your life