The Grounded Union Podcast

Lying About My Addiction for Decades Then Getting Caught


Listen Later

In this episode of The Grounded Union Podcast, we dive deep into the raw realities of addiction, deception, and recovery as Brandon and Caitlyn sit with Chris and Jessica just weeks after the revelation of Chris’s decades-long pornography addiction. Chris shares his journey through early exposure, secrecy, and lifelong patterns of lying, while Jessica opens up about the heartbreak of discovering hidden truths in their marriage. The conversation highlights how addiction feeds on avoidance, distraction, and unmet emotional needs, not just behaviors. Brandon and Caitlyn provide compassionate, actionable guidance, including screen detox, journaling, and the 4R’s framework, offering couples a raw but hopeful roadmap to confront betrayal, rebuild trust, and reclaim connection.

Looking for immediate support in your marriage?
Grounded Union Couples App: Tap here to claim your spot

Workshops for Couples: Join the waitlist to get notified

Follow us on social at @brandontalksmarriage & @caitlyn_doerksen
Check out our IG account to stay updated @groundedunion
YouTube Show available here


Timestamps & Key Moments:

  • 00:00:28 – Chris shares that everything is “extremely fresh,” revealing a long history of lying rooted in unresolved childhood issues and the very recent moment of truth.
  • 00:02:47 – Jessica describes the devastation of discovery, the shock of realizing how well the lies were hidden, and the disorientation of betrayal.
  • 00:04:36 – Caitlyn provides context: six years of marriage, discovery during the postpartum period, and the weight of learning the addiction spanned the entire relationship.
  • 00:05:43 – Chris traces his first exposure to pornography back to early childhood and connects it to using sexual behaviors as emotional escape during trauma.
  • 00:07:21 – Brandon reframes “frequency,” explaining why early disclosure often minimizes reality and why curiosity—not certainty—is essential for real healing.
  • 00:13:41 – Caitlyn highlights the repeating pattern: using physical “separation” to cope, first as a child, now as an adult, linking past trauma to present behavior.
  • 00:24:49 – Chris details his current screen habits, including phone restrictions, deleted social media, and intentional reduction of TV and gaming.
  • 00:36:31– Introduction to the “4R’s” method (Recognize, Receive, Release, Replace) for rewiring thoughts and building the life you want.
  • 00:39:38 – Caitlyn highlights the pivotal moment in marriage: fully committing to healing, consuming the Grounded Intimacy Program, and transforming life through honesty and transparency.
  • 00:42:18 – This episode concludes by making healing the top priority, highlighting the positive ripple effect on the family, and fostering a fully transparent and supportive marriage.
  • 00:45:00 – Jessica is given full permission to feel and process emotions while Chris learns to be a supportive presence.
...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

The Grounded Union PodcastBy Brandon and Caitlyn Doerksen

  • 4.5
  • 4.5
  • 4.5
  • 4.5
  • 4.5

4.5

214 ratings


More shows like The Grounded Union Podcast

View all
The Proverbs 31 Ministries Podcast by The Proverbs 31 Ministries Podcast

The Proverbs 31 Ministries Podcast

4,808 Listeners

The Save The Marriage Podcast by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

The Save The Marriage Podcast

414 Listeners

Focus on the Family Strengthening Marriage Podcast by Focus on the Family

Focus on the Family Strengthening Marriage Podcast

1,880 Listeners

ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show by Tony & Alisa DiLorenzo

ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show

1,757 Listeners

Change Your Brain Every Day by Dr Daniel & Tana Amen

Change Your Brain Every Day

2,055 Listeners

Betrayal Trauma Recovery by Anne Blythe, M.Ed.

Betrayal Trauma Recovery

1,436 Listeners

Pure Desire Podcast by Pure Desire Ministries

Pure Desire Podcast

746 Listeners

Fierce Marriage by Ryan and Selena Frederick

Fierce Marriage

4,248 Listeners

The Connected Life by Justin and Abi Stumvoll

The Connected Life

2,607 Listeners

Helping Couples Heal Podcast by Marnie Breecker

Helping Couples Heal Podcast

443 Listeners

Therapy and Theology by Lysa TerKeurst

Therapy and Theology

2,007 Listeners

Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage by Focus on the Family

Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage

417 Listeners

Morrow Marriage | Disrupting Divorce by Cass & Kathryn Morrow

Morrow Marriage | Disrupting Divorce

159 Listeners

Thriving Kingdom Marriage | Healthy Communication, Conflict Resolution, Intimacy, Godly Counseling by Nick + Haley Teixeira | Christian Marriage, Dating Mentors, Relationship Coaches

Thriving Kingdom Marriage | Healthy Communication, Conflict Resolution, Intimacy, Godly Counseling

300 Listeners

Lights On with Carl Lentz by B-Side

Lights On with Carl Lentz

772 Listeners