Make Your Damn Bed

congrats friends, I am genuinely proud of all the hard work you've put in + sorry if I have been a lil tentative lately.

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Embrace the power of the clean slate - whatever that means to you at this stage in your life. if that means trashing the first attempt, revamping the whole thing, imploding what you thought you knew, donating some old memories, cleaning out your HD, rewriting a first draft, taking time off of a relationship, taking a step back from a job, taking a vacation - whatever you need to do to get a fresh perspective? Do it. Don’t be afraid to zoom the fuck out. It doesn't have to be permanent, either. You can donate or trash or burn, sure; but sometimes the power in setting the bullshit aside + re-setting yourself up with a completely blank canvas can be the difference between a masterpiece and just another piece.

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LUH YOU.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

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times are rough + things are weird but you're a catch + most people feel the same way about social interaction as you do. so let's get out there and make some friends, tiger!

1. don't force it
2. go to local events
3. join online groups with similar interests
4. get out of your comfort zone + try
5. quality over quantity + let that shit flow

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LUH YOU.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

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Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

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It's true. I got the plague + boy it kicked my ass - but the surprising part was NOT the ass kicking. It was the shame. I felt so much shame. Why? I did everything "right" and it didn't matter. Notice the quotes. This shit is a nightmare - there's no moral highground (unless you're deliberating being irresponsible, of course) here as long as you're trying.

The shame came from the fact that I didn't want to let anyone down. I hate the idea that I could have a negative effect on anyone else's experience.

All this to say - doing the right thing won't always feel good. It sometimes will be very difficult + personally challenging to do the "right thing" at the right time.

But you got this. It'll feel better once you do.

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LUH YOU.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

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Social Interactions can be draining. Here's how to prepare:

1. Take a friend-ventory. Know what friends you need more rest before seeing, or prefer in small groups. Note when you don't vibe with a venue or a group rather than an individual.
2. Plan for recovery time, stretch breaks, bail out strategies, and other things you can do to parse out your experience with overwhelming stimulus. Sometimes, all we need is a quick break or a snack to reset the vibe.
3. Replace FOMO with a lil JOMO - that feeling you get when plans you weren't jazzed about, happen to get cancelled by the other person. Channel that every time you say no.
4. Be well rested, well fed, well hydrated, and in the right mindset before social experiences for best results.

RESOURCE: https://thehealthsessions.com/how-to-deal-with-sensory-overload/

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

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Sensory fatigue: When your brain feels overstimulated with sensory inputs such as noise, lights, visual stimulation, sounds, conversation, etc. We all experience sensory needs + I truly believe we’ve all experienced certain levels of sensory overstimulation in some capacity.

Like with everything else in life, everyone of us beautiful humans is unique, which means our triggers are gonna be unique, so while some people are sensitive to all loud noises, some of us are more sensitive to specific tones or voices, we may besensitive to specific sounds like teeth on a fork, some are sensitive to more energetic misalignments, some are sensitive to certain smells, or sensations, like scratchy sweaters or clingy turtlenecks or too much human contact.

I suggest: pacing yourself to make it through the workday, shortening your workload, automating, delegating, scheduling, pacing, or planning breaks can help build stamina. Mental breaks can come in the form of safe playlists, meditations, zone out tasks, socialization, disconnecting, walking, anything that encourages a change in focus to restore mental stamina + encourage sustainability.

Go easy on yourself as you learn to process this shit. It’s gonna be harder on some days than others.

RESOURCES:

https://themighty.com/2018/04/sensory-overload-and-sensory-fatigue/ 

https://thehealthsessions.com/how-to-deal-with-sensory-overload/

@Thebraincoach on instagram

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LUH YOU.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

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stop trying so damned hard + it'll happen. confidence comes from making the choices from your most internally aware self. give the external world some time to catch up.

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LUH YOU.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

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"in coping with manipulation, it’s best to follow four basic principles: Know your rights and your limits; set clear, appropriate boundaries in a respectful and neutral way; recognize and avoid the other person’s efforts to escalate the conflict or muddy the issue; and always make sure to protect your own safety."

RESOURCES:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/i-hear-you/201807/4-ways-deal-manipulative-people

https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychpedia/manipulation

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LUH YOU.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

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Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

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Negging (derived from the verb neg, meaning "negative feedback") is an act of emotional manipulation whereby a person makes a deliberate backhanded compliment or otherwise flirtatious remark to another person to undermine their confidence and increase their need of the manipulator's approval.

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Lovebombing: A common manipulation technique is love bombing: "Love bombing" refers to behavior patterns where, at the beginning of the relationship, a partner showers the other with over-the-top attention, gifts, affection, etc. See: Kanye West's truckload of roses gesture...

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/love-bombing: "Genuine affection is mutual and should unfold at a pace that is comfortable for both parties. Love bombing, by contrast, tends to feel one-sided—with one partner showering the other with gifts, praise, and declarations of love—and moves at a pace where one partner feels overwhelmed or as if they’re caught up in a whirlwind. Someone repeatedly crossing stated boundaries—even if they claim to have positive motives for doing so—may also be an indicator of manipulative intentions. Similarly, while it’s normal for new partners to spend a lot of time together, feeling isolated from one’s family and friends because one is spending all their time with a new love interest may suggest that the relationship is falling into unhealthy patterns."

Resource/inspiration: https://www.instagram.com/climateresilienceproject/

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LUH YOU.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

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