Make Your Damn Bed

gaslighting: manipulating (someone) by psychological means into doubting their own sanity. 

Maybe by: telling blatant lies, deny everything despite proof, make you question your reality, blackmail you, wear you down over time, gain your confidence + confuse you with infrequent rewards, project their shit onto you, try to align others against ya, make you feel or call you crazy or a liar.

Noticing + calling out patterns can be what breaks them.

You got this. Don't let people distort reality to accommodate their feelings.

Resource/inspiration: https://www.instagram.com/climateresilienceproject/

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LUH YOU.

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trying to control and manage someone else's journey + struggle may feel like a way to show love, but it's really a way to take a piece of their experience away from them. struggle = potential to learn and grow. and unfortunately we can't grow without it.

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Don't be afraid to take a step back every once in a while to see if the relationship dynamics + roles you're playing are aligned with who you'd like to be and where you'd like to go.

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we hate overthinkin' until it pays off. make em pay off by learning to hone your bad habits (in order to properly serve you instead of bogging ya down) because you're valid for being afraid - fear is a signal shit needs to change - but don't get caught up in the emotional side of it, insteaed start making the changes it's gonna take to make a difference.

Resource/inspiration: https://www.instagram.com/climateresilienceproject/

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LUH YOU.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

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PART TWO - please listen to yesterday's episode before beginning this one.

1. You are responsible for everything that has happened to you in you’re life. You get robbed? Whether you hand your purse over, or run, or choose to do nothing. You are responsible for it. You may not be to blame for the robbery but you are burdened with the responsibilities of the repurcussions. That’s just what life is. It is a series of responsibilities thrust upon our shoulders. How we react and adapt and grow is the only thing we should worry about.
2. The person you marry is the person you will have to argue with. Problems are inevitable. You can control who you choose to face them with.
3. There’s a power in just starting. You want to live a better life? Start reading self help books for 10 minutes a day. Commit yourself to give a fuck about the things that can support the life you want to create.

Read my blog post I wrote about the book here: https://makeyourdamnbed.medium.com/032-subtle-art-of-not-giving-a-fuck-stream-of-consciousness-5154444e8f6

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Oh yeah, and vote! (but do your research: https://www.stephanieskora.com/voter-guide and https://www.injusticewatch.org/

LUH YOU.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

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My lessons from reading Mark Manson's Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck:

1. Who you are is defined by what you’re willing to struggle for.
2. It’s not about not giving a fuck, it’s about changing your perspective to only give a fuck about the things that really matter, instead of all the other bullshit.
3. We all have problems. It’s a human condition. It’s just about creating better problems.
4. Happiness is not an ending, it’s merely a side-effect of solving good problems. (Thus, problems are actually critical to us being happy.) It becomes about finding problems you enjoy solving.
5. Being the best at something is an outlier and a nearly impossible thing to strive for. Embrace mediocrity.
6. The more you fail at something, the more successful you become in that thing. Embrace failure.
7. You are always going to be wrong. That’s what growth is. Real success is found in becoming a little less wrong every day.
8. Every problem in history has been had before and will be had again. Maybe not the specific circumstances, but the particular feelings you are feeling has been felt before. You are not special. This should be comforting! It means you’re never alone and historically people know how to rock this problem! It also means you can always seek out some help.

Read my blog post I wrote about the book here: https://makeyourdamnbed.medium.com/032-subtle-art-of-not-giving-a-fuck-stream-of-consciousness-5154444e8f6

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Oh yeah, and vote! (but do your research: https://www.stephanieskora.com/voter-guide and https://www.injusticewatch.org/

LUH YOU.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

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“When we’re not hungry for justice it’s usually because we’re too full with privilege.”- Carlos A. Rodriguez

I updated with the correct audio - apologies!

Get involved with your community, communicate with passion + empathy, and remember you have more control than they'd like you to think.

Start small, start scared, but just fucking start.

Oh yeah, and vote! (but do your research: https://www.stephanieskora.com/voter-guide and https://www.injusticewatch.org/

PLEASE DONATE IF YOU CAN: https://secure.actblue.com/donate/givetolocalfunds

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LUH YOU.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

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The system may feel shaky, but that's a good thing. The majority of us, want to do the right thing even though the odds are stocked against that mindset. So, that alone, is pretty fricking inspiring to me. Here's some optimistic ranting from a person with high hopes for our country, for the first time in her life.

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LUH YOU.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

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Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

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All aboard the special EXTENDED 500th episode extrava-gay-nza!!!! I am so proud to finally be in a place that I can both embrace and be proud of my sexuality! It only took 34 year, a few different zip codes, some incredible humans living their most authentic lives (proving we really can do life our own way, as long as we're not getting in the way of anyone else's) and I am so humbled and grateful to be a part of humanity at a time when we're learning to embrace our BEST, most honest selves.

Love you all SO MUCH.

Next stop on the pride parade: https://play.acast.com/s/sidenote

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This episode may save lives. Share with anyone you think may need it.

https://mayday.health/

MAYDAY HEALTH a registered health education nonprofit. Mission to share information about how to access abortion medication in all fifty states.  1. Create mail forwarding address in state with progressive abortion rights. This is typically less than $30. You can do this through iPostal.com, choose a state like Colorado or Illinois that protects abortion rights + choose a local city within it. At checkout, provide contact info + they basically give you a remote private mailing address + you'll receive instructions for how to upload the single page USPS form 1583 that authorizes your NEW address to forward and receive mail on our behalf. Requires a brief online notary call. Anytimemailbox and postscanmail.com are other options mayday health has instructions for on their website linked in comments. 

Using your new mail forwarding address make an appointment + request pills online with a telehealht visit bc they can typically deliver to any address in states where they operate INCLUDING mail forwarding addresses that can forward that medicine to other states. Financial aid options often available but the cost is usually under $300. 

2. Sign up online for an abortion clinic with that new mail forwarding address.  Hey Jane offers services in Cali, NY, WA, IL, CO, NM. Carafem in CO, CT, DE, GA, IL, IA, MD, MA, NV, NJ, NM, RI, VT, VA or Choix or Just the Pill are IL, CO, CA. 3. Consult with that telehealth medical provider 4. Receive your unmarked package at your address within five days. 5. Take pills. 

They’re not plan b - usually mifepristone or pisoprostol = works thorough end of the FIRST trimester (11 weeks) and been FDA approved for decades, leads to LESS hospitalizations than tylenol does. 

Abortion pills are safe, effective, common, private. 99% of patients have no severe side effects. According to studies they are 98% effective at ending pregnancies during the first trimester. Used in over 54% of the abortions across the US. and some European countries over 90% are done using pills. It’s been used by MILLIONS around the world for the past 30 years. 

If you need support to self manage you can call or text the miscarraige + abortion hotline at 1-833-246-2632 available 8 am to 11 pm in all continental us time zones + typically can respond within an hour. These are always confidential, they dont ask for names, details, or health identifiers. Phones + texts are private + secure according to their site. 

REPRO LEGAL HELPLINE which provides free and confidential legal advice that can help people better understand the laws and legal risk they may face. Contact them by calling 844-868-2812 and leaving a message for them to return or online through their secure online form at reprolegalhelpline.org regardless of immigration status. 

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Read Julie's Medium Blog.

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Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

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