Mama's Daily Dose

We are right in the thick of the holiday season and I know you have been working hard getting gifts for friends, family, teachers and many more. Working on making the holidays a special time for you family and others. But have you taken a moment to get something for yourself? To treat yourself?

Have you seen the Parks and Rec episodes where each year Tom and Donna would take a "Treat Yo Self" day?

We can all take a little lesson from these two!

You don't have to go all out on a Treat Yourself Day, but make sure you get yourself a gift this holiday season.

You are important too. Don't forget yourself and treat yourself!

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

"Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
- Rumi (13th century Persian Poet)

Where are your efforts focused? Often times we look to things and people on the outside to change ourselves and the world around us.

Do you focus on changing others and the world around you?
Or do you focus on changing yourself?

 
Focus on changing yourself and that will change the world...or at least some ONE's world.
When you change yourself you change others and the world.
The only person you have control over is yourself. Focus on changing you and the rest will fall into place.

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

Starting a effective habit is the opposite of stopping the ineffective habit.

There are 4 elements to every habit - this comes from James Clear in his book Atomic Habits.
1. Cue
2. Craving
3. Response
4. Reward

1. Cue - you feel overwhelmed after a hectic day and the kids are finally in bed
2. Craving - you crave something to take the edge off and calm you down
3. Response - you drink a glass of wine
4. Reward - your glass of wine satisfies your craving and you feel calm 

If you want to change this to a more effective habit for you, you must recognize the cue and craving, then change the response.

So instead of responding with a glass of wine (or chocolate in my case) you replace it with something else - I use mints.

The cue and craving are the same but you change the response in order to change an ineffective habit to an effective one. Make it easier for yourself by making the effective habit attractive - I moved the chocolate chips up on a high shelf so it is more difficult to grab and put mints in an easy to reach place.

What effective habit do you want to start?

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

Say you had a rough day with the kids and you were super stressed out. You want to find a way to calm down; so you try a number of things. Maybe a bath, glass of wine, TV. You find one that works for you and then that becomes your habit.

There are 4 elements to every habit - whether you find it effective or ineffective for you:
1. Cue
2. Craving
3. Response
4. Reward

1. Cue - you feel overwhelmed after a hectic day and the kids are finally in bed
2. Craving - you crave something to take the edge off and calm you down
3. Response - you drink a glass of wine
4. Reward - your glass of wine satisfies your craving and you feel calm

You now associate the glass of wine with helping you calm down and relax after a difficult day.

Same works with coffee in the morning
1. You wake up
2. You want to feel awake and alert
3. You drink coffee
4. You satisfy your craving and coffee is no associated with waking up.

You can be free of your bad habits when you bring them into your consciousness! Decide WHO you want to be and then create habits around who you want to become.

Habits are about becoming SOMONE not having SOMETHING!

For more info on habits - how to start new ones, break old ones and become you really want to, I highly suggest Atomic Habits by James Clear. 

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

 We all have a bad habit (or 2, 3...) that we want to kick, but it's hard!

A habit is something you've done so many times, that now you do it without consciously thinking about it. 

I'm not a big fan of labeling habits "bad" or "good" because they depend on the person. However, a habit can be either ineffective or effective for you and your goals.

The first step it to bring the habit to your consciousness and become aware of it, because we habits are most unconscious.

You can be free of your bad, or ineffective habits!

Tune in the rest of the week to find out how to kick the ineffective habits and implement new, effective ones.

No need to wait for the New Year - lets work on those habits now!

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

1 word only!

Pick 1 word to describe your year in 2022. Any word you want!

Then pick a word you want to describe your upcoming year in 2023.

Often we set a few goals, there's all these cool new things we want to do in the New Year and partner that will all the other commitments you have and you start forgetting stuff!

The best way I've found to stay true to my goals and intentions is to create a word for the year. That way I can remind myself of the word and my actions will follow.

For 2022 my word was "joy." 

What is yours for 2023?

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

“It wasn't the fear that mattered in life, it was the choices made when you were afraid. You were brave because of your fear, not in spite of it. - Elsa's Grandpa.
The Four Winds by Kristin Hanna

What is your biggest fear? I'm not talking spiders or public speaking...I'm talking deep down fear!

We all have at least one. What is yours? 
Some examples include:

• Fear of being alone
• Fear on not being loved
• Fear of death
• Fear of judgment
• Fear of not being enough

 
Use your fear to take action.
Some people use their fears to hold them back, others use it as a source of motivation. It doesn't matter what your fear is, it matters what you do with it.

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

Another question for your end of the year letter!

Yesterday we focused on what went well in 2022, now take a look on what you want to work on for the next year.

What do you want to get better at?
What kind of person do you want to become?
Do you want to learn a new skill?

What are the actions you want to take next year to become the person you want to be and reach your goals?

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

We are working our way through December by reflecting on the past year and setting intentions for next year.

Here is one of the questions you can use later on in your letter to your future self that we will be going over at the end of the month.

What went well for you in 2022? What were the happy times? The accomplishments? The joys? The truimphs?

What brought a smile to your face during the past year.

Add everything you can think of, nothing is too small.

2022 may not have been your year, maybe it was a really crappy year. That's okay, I'm SURE there are still a few things that went well. Today is the day to focus on and extract everything that went well the past year.

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

Say what?!? Aren't you supposed to let the small stuff go so you can focus on the big matters?

I know this goes against what most people say, but I want you to sweat the small stuff when it comes to creating new habits, breaking old one and working towards your goals.

It is now December and a great time to reflect on the past year and look forward to the next year.

The issue with most people when they do this is they try to make HUGE sweeping changes in their lives. You feel guilty for the indulgence during the holiday so you tell yourself:
* No more spending money
* No junk food
* No more drinking
* I'm going to the gym for 1 hour ever single day

And while these actions all have great intentions. The are most likely doomed.

How many times have you vowed a New Year's resolution and not achieved it? I know I have quite a few!

Here's how to create new habits, break old ones and make your way toward your goal without feeling overwhelmed:

Focus on the small actions.

Take 1 super small step towards your goal. I'm talking so small here! They key to establishing a new habit (or breaking an old one) is to do it! Actually do it...and do it consistently. The only way to do keep it up consistently is if it is something you can and will do.

Well duh! Is what you may be saying now, but really most people do NOT do this. They try to make huge changes on Jan 1 and then realize its just too much and go back to their old habit.

But not YOU! You're going to pick 1 super small thing to do and you will do it each day!

Pick 1 small action to do today and for each day (at least most days) for the rest of the month.
You don't have to wait for the new year to work towards your goal!

Start now and it will be much easier to keep up in Jan.

Examples:
- 10 squats per day
- meditate 10 seconds per day
- eat 1 vegetable a day
- cut out 1/2 cup of coffee
- read 1 page per day

These seemingly small actions are something you can actually do each day, even on those hectic days. And they will add up way quicker than you think! 

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett