Mama's Daily Dose

Do you encourage your kids to say "thank you?"

If so you are in the company of about 85% of other parents. And yes, "thank you" and "please" while we're at it are extremely important, kind words. Especially when you are trying to express gratitude or receive something from another person.

But is "thank you" really enough to express gratitude and to feel gratitude?

To take it a step further about 39% of parents encourage their kids to experience gratitude in other ways - such as volunteering, helping other, acts of kindness.

What makes us remember things is how we FEEL. Not what we say.

Today instead of having your kids only say "thank you" ask them how it felt to receive an act of kindness. Or how it felt when someone said thank you to them and expressed gratitude.

Do this yourself as well. Really tap into the feeling of gratitude, beyond saying "thank you."

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

“What do my kids love to do that I never do with them?”
- Jessica Smartt The Memory Making Mom

Traditions and memories are such a precious part of childhood as well as adulthood! There's something about saying, "we always do that!"

There are probably plenty of traditions you love and maybe some you don't!

If you are looking to create some of your own, new traditions with your kids, this quote is a great place to start!

Ask yourself, or even ask you kids what it is they really love to do, but you just never seem to do it. The answer may be right in front of you, or it may surprise you!

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

Are you tired of your kids not appreciating what they have? Do they keep asking for more and more no matter how much you (and others give them)?

I think most parents know this feeling well! You aren't alone and your kids are totally messed up either!

You want the best for you kids and you want them to dream and achieve their goals, but at the same time you want them to be grateful for what they have as well.

You can show gratitude for what you have now and still want more in the future.

So how do you get your kids to be more grateful? It starts with you!

There was a study on 4th and 5th graders and showed that the biological child's disposition to gratitude was related to their mother's gratitude. It did not show a relation to the fathers! Crazy! This means that your disposition and practice of gratitude affects your children's where their father's has little to no bearing on it. 

What this means is if you want your kids to show more gratitude. Start with yourself. What is one thing you can do today to be an example of gratitude for your kids?

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

Gratitude. Many people use this word. You probably have tried a "gratitude practice." Asked your kids to say "thank you." 

All the gurus tell you to practice gratitude, it will make you healthier, happier and overall a better person....but what is gratitude?

Is it an emotion, virtue, behavior? Something you're supposed to do? Something you have to practice? Some elusive unicorn?

A number of Psychologists now recognize 3 types of gratitude:
1. An affectionate trait: your overall tendency to have a grateful disposition or manner.
2. A mood: the daily fluctuations in gratitude
3. An emotion: a more temporary feeling of gratitude like when you get a give or someone does a kind favor for you.

There's basically short term (emotion), medium term (mood) and long term (trait).

Today take notice of the different types of gratitude and how it can be extremely short term AND long term.

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

You probably used to be pretty fun and cool before kids!

You know those bumper stickers, that you usually see on minivans, that say, "I used to be cool?"

Well, you are still cool and you are still fun!

Often we can get wrapped up in all the things we need to do, take care of and where and when we need to be places that we forget to have a little fun along the way.

On this Halloween Day remind yourself that you ARE fun! I AM FUN!

Have fun today! Dress up, get some candy, dance, play a joke on your kids. Whatever makes you feel fun!

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

Do you want your kids to have more self-control? 
Do you want them to be able to sit through a 5 second YouTube ad without freaking out? 
Do you want them to grow up being able to put off immediate satisfaction in order to achieve long term goals?

Here's 5 ways (and a bonus) you can help cultivate self control in your kids now and for the future:
1.       Distraction strategies to help with distress. When your kid is super upset they have to sit through a 5 second YouTube ad while watching Blippi you can distract with a toy or song.

2.       Attachment experiences: sensitive to needs, provide support and also encourage autonomy odds will be better than those you overcontrol children.

3.       Consequences - teaching and experiencing consequences for their choices.

4.       Work with on enjoyable but challenging tasks that become increasingly difficult; piano, legos, climbing, etc. The real challenge for you is to provide support but also let them work on own.

5.       Growth mindset.

6.       Keep your word – when promise delayed rewards give it to them. As well as consequences.


Focus on one today and little by little you can grow both your self control and your kids'.

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

How can you make the best decisions now to reach your future goals?

Ask yourself, "What would future me do?"

Have a clear idea of what future you wants. Who she is. 

When you come to a crossroads and you aren't sure what decision to make, ask yourself what would future you do? The future you that has reached her goal, that is the mom and person you want to do be, what decision would she make?

When you really connect with your future self, you make decisions now that that benefit you in the future.

When you don't have a clear goal or picture of who you are in the future, you tend to make decisions that only benefit you in the now. You are taking the short term pleasure at the expense of the long-term benefit because you can't see what that benefit it.

Ask yourself today, "What would future me do?"

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

If you want you and your kids to practice more self control here are the 3 things you need:

1. Keep your goal in mind
2. Think of future you
3. Ability to distract

These are the 3 features of executive function (mental skills that help you get things done) needed to cultivate and practice self control.

Keep your goal in mind. You know what you are working towards. That future goal and reward is worth the short term consequence now.

Think of future you: You are able to take your tempting goals of now - that Halloween candy is going to taste delicious and shift it toward the future goals - future me is healthy. Ability to think of future you.

Ability to distract: The Halloween candy may be sitting right in front of you, but you decide to have some water instead.

For today do a Marshmallow or Treat test with your kids! Put their favorite treat in front of them at a table and tell them you will be back in specified amount of time. If they wait for you to get back, they get 2 treats and if they don't then they get the 1.

Ask them why or why not they were able to wait. You can even set up a camera. Kids tend to be very good at the distraction part!

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

Do you want to retire with enough money to travel the world, spend time with your grand kids, take up new hobbies and not have to worry about money?

The more your can connect with your future self, say "retired you", the better decisions you can make now to become that future you!

There was a study done on saving money for retirement and one group saw an avatar of themselves at retirement age, think wrinkles and all. And the second group was shown an avatar of themselves now. The group that say the avatar of their retired selves saved 30% more than the group that saw their current selves!

What this tells us is that the more you can connect with your future self, the more you can move towards her.

Retired you may feel a little far off, but the more you can emotionally connect with her the more likely you are to become her.

Connect with 80 year old you today! What is she doing, feeling, saying? What does she look like? Get a clear emotional picture of her so you make the choices today that will benefit her.

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

 What does future you look like? What is she doing?

I'm talking like 80 year old you!

Do you connect with your future self? Her desires, her wants and needs?

If you can connect with yourself in the future - the woman and mom you want to be, you can make better decisions now to get you to where you want to be.

There was a study done about saving for retirement. One group was shown an avatar of their current self and the other was shown an avatar of their future self (retirement age). Then they were asked how much they would save for retirement.

The group that saw their future selves put away 30% more for retirement than the current group!

When you are more emotionally connected to your future self, you will incorporate that more into your current life.

Take action today -
Who is future you? What does she want, what does she do?
Paint a picture of who you are in the future so you can emotionally connect with her and make decisions now to become her!

Examples:
Future you weighs less and is healthier - you start making healthier eating choices.
Future you is patient and present with her kids - you practice more patience today.
Future you is living in her dream home - you make choices to save money.


Repeat, repeat, repeat!
An affirmation (or MamAffirmation) is used to embed self esteem and a positive mindset in those that repeat and believe it.

Take a look in the mirror today, Mama and repeat the above MamAffirmation.



More on today's MamAffirmation: Mama's Daily Dose Podcast 
 
Have a grea

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett