In order to set a habit, to make a change you need to take action!

It doesn't have to be massive action and an overhaul, but it needs to be something.

Like we talked about last month with gratitude - 1 minute! Take 1 minute a day and do it everyday and make it a habit.

To establish a habit you need to be consistent. Be consistent with something! 1 minute of exercise - awesome, 1 vegetable - great...whatever it is, pick it and do it each and every day.

Today pick a habit that you want to start, we don't have to wait for the New Year! And whatever you pick, I want you to chop it down. 5 minutes of walking/day..start with 1-2 minutes. Pick something so small that it would be ridiculous if you don't do it each day. Once you get it down each day (or most days - no on is perfecct) then add more and more.

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

“We can’t do it all, but we can make our own beautiful memories.” - Jessica Smartt Memory Making Mom

"Can't" is a word I take issue with. In fact, we are not allowed to use the word "can't" in our house, because as soon as you tell yourself you can't do something, then you stop trying to figure out a way to do. You put boundaries up for yourself. Instead we say "I don't know how to...yet!"

But in this case, "can't" is warranted!

No one out there can do it all, including you, Mama! Although social media may portray it differently, it simply is not possible and if you've tried to do it all before you know the feelings that come from it - exhaustion, defeat, overwhelm and the feeling of being not enough.

While you can't do it all... you CAN make beautiful memories!

As we get into this holiday season there are so many events, parties and activities. You don't have to do them  all to make the holidays special!

Today pick 1 thing you want to do to make a beautiful memory this holiday season and 1 thing you don't want to do. Focus your energy on the one you want to make a memory with and let the other go, or delegate.

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

After the questions, "What is the best way to practice gratitude?" which we answered yesterday in episode 387 the next question that comes is, "How often/long do I need to practice it?"

There are a few ways to approach setting up any habit, including gratitude. What I believe to be most effective and has worked the best for me is what James Clear suggests in his book, Atomic Habits.

Do it every day. That is the best way to establish a habit. And even better - do it at the same time each day. Then you are even more likely to keep the habit going, because it then becomes...well, habit!

Most gratitude practices can be done in as little as 1 minute a day! I know you have lots going on, but I'm sure you can squeeze 1 minute! Even if you think that is difficult, then start even smaller.

It doesn't matter where you start. Pick something you know you can do and practice it each day. 

Today pick a gratitude practice - and do it today. Then tomorrow, and the next day and the next. Make it a habit.

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

Gratitude has been studied and this form of gratitude practice has been shown to be the most effective to change your brain circuitry, how you think and how you feel.

I'm not saying this is the ONLY way to practice gratitude. Something is always more than nothing. You love your practice - you do you, mama! If you want to get the most out of your gratitude practice give this one a try!

 1. Story
Think of time you received something and felt grateful for it. Take notes on this story - what was the struggle, what was the help and how did that impact you emotionally? 

2. How did you feel?
What was your state before and after the event?

3. Sit with this story and the feelings

4. Repeat with the same story

Each time you read/think about this story the neural circuits in your brain get activated and change. It becomes easier and easier for these circuits to get activated the more you repeat.

You can do this in as little as 1 minute a day!

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

Gratitude, being thankful - that is what we've been talking about all this month.

And if you remember in episode 371 we talked about the power of "I AM" and everything you say after those two words your subconscious goes to work to make it your reality! You like being correct, so your subconscious helps you other there whether it is a positive or negative statement.

If you find yourself wanting to be more grateful, practice gratitude...have your kids be more grateful - start my thinking and telling yourself you are grateful. The more you tell yourself and your kids that you are grateful people the more you will look for ways to confirm it!

I am grateful!

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

What do stories and memories have to do with gratitude?

Think of a time or story about gratitude - it doesn't even have to do with you. When you think about it and replay it, you actually start to feel gratitude and when you feel that gratitude there are changes that happen in your brain circuitry!

Our brains are oriented to story - it is one of the major ways we organize information in our brains. 

A study was performed where people listened to others who survived genocide and told stories of how others helped them along the way. Those listening had fMRI scans and it showed that by listening to these stories, the neural pathways of gratitude light up! Those pathways can light up when we HEAR stories of gratitude...even ones that have NOTHING to do with us. 

I always think of the Publix commercial where the little boy sneakily invites his neighbor over for Christmas dinner. The story has nothing to do with me, but I feel so much gratitude each time I was the commercial or even think about it!

Be sure to tune in next week to find out the most scientifically proven way to practice gratitude...and guess what? It can be done is as little as 1 minute a day!

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

“There is something about saying, ‘We always do this,’ which helps keep the years together." - Jessica Smartt Memory Making Mom

Happy Thanksgiving!! Have a wonderful day filled with yummy food and special people!

Thanksgiving happens every single year and is a great time to make memories and create traditions. What do you want to do this year and that you and your kids continue to say each year, "We always do..."?
 
This is the oldest your kids have ever been and the youngest they will ever be!
This goes for your too!
Each day, minute, second we are all getting older. I've always loathed when people say, "Enjoy it now, it goes by so fast!" And while I have my own feelings on this quote...I do agree that it goes by quickly!

Looking back on your own childhood you simply can't remember every single day. You remember moments in time and often the ones that stick out are those traditions you repeated.
 
Find a special activity or thing this Thanksgiving day to say "We always do this..."
It doesn't have to be over the top! You know my favorite saying is "Something is always more than nothing!"

My favorite Thanksgiving tradition is sourdough bread stuffing. I'm from San Francisco and sourdough bread is my love language - it was always on the table and now I make it for my kids.

Maybe y'all bake together. Or you watch football. Or you do something totally unrelated to Thanksgiving and play volleyball! Whatever is fun for you! Keep doing it...there really is something special about, "We always do..." 

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

There's a bunch of ways to achieve the same result. I for one stand for "something is more than nothing."

Therefore, if you are engaged in another gratitude practice that you enjoy - that is way better than nothing!

If you want to get the most out of your practice, here's how to do it.

Most gratitude practices are not super effective in shifting your neural activity and chemistry or your body circuitry towards enhanced activity of the PFC (remember Episode 378 Your Brain on Gratitude and how gratitude is linked to your PFC and how you set the context of a situation). 

The most effective gratitude is receiving! That's right it has NOTHING to do with you and everything to do with someone else initiating the gratitude process by giving you something you find valuable and the intention is pure.

There is a study of coworkers where one coworker gave a kind letter to another. The study showed that those who received the notes showed more brain activity than those that gave the note. 

This is a VERY potent form of shifting someone's neurology! 

But we can't always sit around and wait for someone else to give you a letter, text or words of gratitude! There are ways to recreate this experience by yourself. Tune in the rest of this month to find out how.

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

Have you ever tried to be a positive person and tell yourself something is totally awesome, when you really knew that it wasn't'?

You're more intelligent than that! 

Terrible things will happen in life and lying to yourself that it isn't terrible doesn't make it go away or help you move on.

There is a time to learn a lesson and reflect on gratitude from crappy situations such as the death of a loved one, job loss, medical issues, financial difficulties and much more. 

Sometimes you just need to sit in the crappy, accept it. When you've moved on from that, then you can find true gratitude in the situation.

I no longer say, "I'm sorry" when someone has a loved one that passes. I heard it often when my dad died and I know everyone meant well, but it simply did not feel right.

I now say, "that's sh***y, losing a loved one really sucks." It's okay to admit that and sit with that, because it it is crappy! You know it and I know it, and we can't lie about it in attempts to move on.

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett

 So the extreme of honesty - absolutely no lying at all, none! Could you do it?

I read a book where the author went one year without lying at all! I'm talking about NONE.

Like when her kids made her breakfast in bed and then asked how it tasted. She said not good!

An acquaintance asked the question we hear all the time, "how are you?" She said the honest truth - she wasn't doing great and why.

Now, I don't feel this is necessary. There is a difference between lying about cheating on your husband and lying to your kids that the food they made you is delicious when really its barely edible.

Also, I don't want to burden an acquaintance with my issues when they were simply asking how I am. I feel that would do more damage to their day then the little "lie."

Whether you believe not lying at all is a good thing or even a feasible thing for you; there is one person you can NOT lie to - you.

Be honest with yourself. You know when you are lying to yourself. Even when you are trying to encourage yourself, pick realistic, truthful options.

I'm all for being positive and seeing the glass is half full. But if a terrible thing happens to you; you can't lie to yourself and say just be grateful or that its actually good when you know it's terrible! There will probably be a time for reflection later when you can see the good and be grateful but be honest with yourself in the moment - feel the terrible and crappy, don't try to lie to yourself, because you know you way better than that!

www.allyoumama.com
IG -@MeghanQBarrett