Tony and Elisa DiLorenzo of One Extraordinary Marriage discuss how busy couples can rekindle intimacy and connection through intentional time together. They reveal the biggest roadblocks to intimacy are lack of meaningful conversation and diminished sexual connection, with practical solutions for couples who feel like roommates.

• The "we'll make time when..." trap leads many couples to disconnect by the time life finally slows down
• Couples who delay nurturing their relationship often reach empty nester stage feeling like strangers
• A time audit usually reveals at least 30 minutes daily that could be redirected to relationship building
• Start with just 15 minutes of connection through card games, comedy clips, or simple physical touch
• Difficult conversations may require a third-party facilitator to create safe space for both partners
• Internal forgiveness work is essential for moving past resentment without necessarily verbalizing it
• Children have free will—their choices aren't always a reflection of parenting approaches
• It's never too late to transform your relationship, as demonstrated by couples married 30+ years
• More relationship resources exist now than ever before, making help accessible to all couples

Visit IntimacyMastery.com to take an assessment of your relationship and get a roadmap for improving connection over 30, 60, and 90 days.

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We celebrate a double milestone as my son gets married on our 23rd wedding anniversary. This emotional weekend brings together two generations of love stories while I reflect on what makes a marriage work for over two decades.

• Cooking for 125 wedding guests from a small Airbnb with crockpots scattered throughout every room
• The importance of morning walks for communication and connection in marriage
• Jewish wedding traditions including the chuppah and breaking glass to symbolize the couple's new journey
• The significance of being intentional about building a good relationship with my new daughter-in-law
• How apologizing quickly and choosing each other daily strengthens marriage over decades
• The value of community support and having a "village" to celebrate important life transitions

Get on the waiting list for my upcoming book "Bad Marriage Advice" at www.badmarriageadvice.com and receive a free gift of 300+ date night ideas for every season, budget, and interest.

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I spent an incredible weekend at the first-ever Relational Life Therapy conference in Orlando, immersed in transformative teachings from world-renowned relationship experts. RLT offers powerful tools for building radically honest, fiercely loving relationships where both partners thrive in equality, focusing on intimacy, connection, and practical relational skills.

• RLT focuses on telling the truth in relationships and why honesty creates deeper connection
• Diversity and inclusion play crucial roles in understanding how upbringing affects relationship dynamics
• Learning practical techniques for vulnerability, speaking truth to power, and working through difficult moments together
• Multi-generational trauma can be healed when one person "faces the flame" and changes family patterns
• Happy couples aren't conflict-free but excel at repair after disconnection
• Small repair attempts like reaching for your partner's hand or saying "we're on the same team" can transform relationships
• Relationships aren't meant to be perfect but real—the growth happens in the repair

Share this episode with a friend and DM me on Instagram @monitanner1 to let me know one thing you're going to do this week to make your relationship stronger.

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Money often causes tension in relationships, but it doesn't have to. Nate and Bethany Smith share their expertise on creating financial harmony through better communication, understanding each other's money stories, and developing shared goals.

• Understanding your partner's "money story" helps build empathy and reduces financial conflict
• Creating a "spending and savings plan" feels more empowering than a restrictive budget
• Pay yourself first by prioritizing savings before other expenses
• Rule of 72 shows how your money doubles (divide 72 by your interest rate)
• Teaching kids early money habits and the time value of money sets them up for success
• Changing your environment (walks, weekend getaways) creates better financial conversations
• Awareness of where money goes and having a plan prevents financial stress
• Having a vision for your future makes daily money decisions easier
• Understanding the psychology behind money decisions is as important as the math

Contact Nate and Bethany at @yourcashflowcouple on Instagram or visit howmoneyworks.com/NateSmith or howmoneyworks.com/BethanySmith to book a free consultation.

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In this episode, we explore how recommitting to daily conversations and weekly date nights can reignite emotional intimacy and transform your relationship with your partner.

• Gottman research shows mapping your partner's inner world is crucial for emotional connection
• People constantly change and evolve—nobody remains the same person they were when you married
• Commit to 20 minutes of daily connection through walking and meaningful conversation
• Move beyond transactional topics (kids, chores, schedules) to discover what excites or stresses your partner
• Ask questions like "What are you learning right now?" or "Who are you enjoying talking to lately?"
• Use weekly date nights to explore the origins of beliefs about sex, money, relationships
• Investigate childhood experiences to understand where your partner's core beliefs originated
• "Weed out" unhealthy beliefs and intentionally plant new ideas in your relationship garden
• Emotional connection naturally enhances all other forms of intimacy
• Utilize resources like card decks, apps, and games for inspiration if you're struggling with conversation starters

I invite you to go for a walk with your spouse every single day, start mapping their inner world with really good questions, and make sure you're getting date night on the calendar every week. I promise it will make a huge difference in the connection, closeness and emotional intimacy you feel with your partner.

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Passionate relationships require more than love—they need the right psychological dynamics to keep desire alive. When couples come to me feeling more like roommates than lovers, they're often surprised to learn that their sexual disconnection has less to do with libido or attraction and more to do with unrecognized emotional patterns.

The truth about passionate marriages might surprise you. While emotional connection matters, your sexual relationship operates with separate dynamics that need specific attention. Differentiation—maintaining your sense of self while being emotionally connected—creates the foundation for desire. As relationship expert David Schnarch explains, people who struggle with differentiation often resort to control tactics or emotional distance rather than healthy interdependence.

Your sexual connection is also deeply influenced by context, as Emily Nagoski brilliantly explains. Desire isn't simply spontaneous—it's responsive to your environment and circumstances. This means transitioning from daily responsibilities to intimate connection requires intentional shifts in mindset, not just spontaneous attraction. Meanwhile, Esther Perel reminds us that "fire needs air"—eroticism thrives in the space between partners, requiring some degree of mystery and novelty to remain vibrant.

The good news? These dynamics can transform with intentional effort. Start by reconnecting with what makes you feel alive and embodied, practice differentiation by expressing needs without controlling your partner, and prioritize whatever helps you transition into a sensual mindset. Build erotic tension through flirtation and novel experiences, and commit to regular conversations about your sexual connection.

Sexual disconnection isn't a life sentence—it's an invitation to grow together. Remember that having differing levels of desire is normal in every aspect of marriage. With understanding and the right tools, you can rediscover the passion that may have temporarily dimmed and create a sexual relationship that's fulfilling for both partners.

Have questions about your own relationship dynamics? Reach out to me directly—I'm passionate about helping couples move beyond roommate syndrome to rediscover true intimacy and desire.

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What's the worst piece of marriage advice you've ever received? In my years coaching couples, I've heard countless well-meaning but misguided tips passed down between generations. Today, I'm pulling back the curtain on one of the most damaging myths that keeps showing up, especially in religious communities: "divorce is not an option."

Despite its popularity among relationship experts, this seemingly innocent advice creates devastating ripple effects in marriages. It breeds complacency—why try when your partner is stuck with you anyway? It kills honest communication—why bring up difficult topics when nothing can change? Most ironically, it replaces genuine security with fear, leaving partners wondering if they're chosen or merely tolerated. Instead of creating stability, this mindset often nurtures resentment and emotional distance.

This episode offers a glimpse into my forthcoming book, "Bad Marriage Advice: 15 Myths That Will Make You Miserable," where I counter these harmful ideas with relationship wisdom grounded in choice, growth, and authentic connection. When my son announced his engagement, I realized I wanted to give him a marriage resource that wouldn't set him up for failure, and this book was born. The strongest marriages aren't built on obligation or fear of divorce—they thrive when both partners know they're actively chosen every day despite having other options.

Have you received terrible marriage advice? I'd love to hear your stories! Send written accounts, audio recordings, or videos to [email protected] to be featured on the podcast and social media. Your experiences can help others recognize and reject the myths that make marriages miserable.

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I'm announcing my first book "Bad Marriage Advice: 15 Myths that Are Making you Miserable," releasing on May 3rd to coincide with my 23rd wedding anniversary and my son's wedding day. The book challenges popular but potentially harmful marriage advice and offers better relational skills based on my experience as a marriage coach and interviews with couples married over 50 years.

• Written as a guide for my son's upcoming marriage, combining maternal wisdom with professional expertise
• Addresses common myths like "don't go to bed angry," "happy wife, happy life," and "don't sweat the small stuff"
• Explains why compromise is overrated and collaboration is the better approach
• Demonstrates how popular marriage advice often dampens communication between couples
• Contains practical communication skills applicable for newly married and long-term couples
• Designed to be relatable, entertaining, and immediately useful

If you have an audience who could benefit from better marriage advice, please reach out to me about featuring the book. Stay tuned for upcoming episodes that will dive deeper into specific chapters and concepts from each chapter.

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Monica Tanner shares transformative relationship skills to help couples communicate more effectively and maintain passion in their marriages. Through practical frameworks, she reveals how making specific requests and mastering repair techniques can dramatically improve relationship satisfaction.

• Most people complain about relationship problems rather than making clear requests
• Every complaint contains a hidden request that can be uncovered
• Effective requests follow three steps: rocking the boat, being specific, and showing appreciation
• Requests should be specific, behavioral, and time-bound
• Asking "Is there anything I can do to help you come through for me?" increases success rate
• Sexual requests can follow the same framework while respecting boundaries and choice
• Repair is a one-way street—only one person's concerns should be addressed at a time
• The repair process should be limited to eight sentences maximum
• Always begin repair by "remembering love" and your purpose for the conversation
• Describe what happened objectively, share your interpretation, express feelings, and make a request

If you're looking to improve your marriage, reach out to Monica at [email protected] to set up a time to chat. Learn more about Monica's coaching and podcast at monicatanner.com or find her on Instagram.

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Walking with your partner is a powerful tool that has strengthened my marriage through every season, from dating challenges to parenting transitions and career changes.

• Discovered the power of walking while facing parental disapproval during our engagement
• Walking side-by-side creates a safe space for difficult conversations that face-to-face interaction doesn't
• Daily walks help us download the day, discuss challenges, and reconnect
• Beach walks and neighborhood loops have become our favorite ways to connect
• Walking protected our marriage during major life transitions including empty nesting and career changes
• Side-by-side movement (even driving) creates the same effect when walking isn't possible
• After 23 years of marriage, we're still learning new things about each other during our walks

If you have questions about anything, please do not hesitate to send me an email, [email protected]. I can't wait to hear how your walks are going!

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