Marriage and Martinis

** This episode contains some discussion of childhood discipline and parental relationships. Please take care if this is a topic for which is sensitive or triggering for anyone and deciding whether or not this is a good episode for you.

Adam and Danielle have just returned from a very long overdue trip, just the two of them. After vacationing in the tropical paradise of Brooklyn, the two are feeling the effects of their romantic getaway. Two two discuss how this trip compared to the same trip they took three years ago, why one trip can change the entire course of a relationship, and getting up the courage to finally get a tattoo after waiting over twenty years to "wait for the right time." Danielle discusses how her dad might feel about it, how the tattoo in some way connects her to her beloved late grandmother, Bubbi, and why this was the right time to finally stop talking about it and just do it.

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During the month of June, Adam worked more hours than he has maybe ever worked. He's been exhausted all month from his job, and Danielle has been exhausted from all of the stuff going on with the kids and household. The feeling of "languishing," that feeling like you just can't seem to enjoy things or make progress in life has been overwhelming for both of them. This is the first conversation the two of them have had together in weeks, and they catch up Mia's evaluation (details in episode #166), Adam's vaping habit and how his attempt to quit is going, and their hopes for their upcoming getaway together.

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TRIGGER WARNINGS: discussions of porn, rough sex, and other sexual acts that might be uncomfortable and/or upsetting for some people.

Sara Rosen, AKA "The Kink Therapist," has made it her mission to create shame-free spaces in which people can openly discuss their kinks, fetishes and fantasies no matter how "taboo" society tells us they are. Danielle and Adam ask Sara all about her journey to becoming a kink therapist, what it is about the topic excites her so much, and why it's so important to discuss kinks and fetishes more frequently and honestly. They also ask her some popular questions from listeners, and reveal their own past experiences in the bedroom when shame played a role. The Kink Therapist reveals the benefits of "Fantasy Disclosure" with your partner, and some kinks and fetishes that are far more common than people might realize.

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Danielle and Dr. Traci Baxley have a candid conversation about everything from interracial marriage, to privilege, to how to handle it when people say, "agree to disagree," about social issues and race. Danielle asks how parents can implement teachings and actions to help their kids become better allies and more conscientious human beings. Have we come as far as we think concerning progress, and what do we still need to do? Follow Dr. Baxley on instagram at @socialjusticeparenting and check out her website Social Justice Parenting.

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Danielle has an absolute blast having girl talk with Tammin and Roxy of the Women on top podcast. She asks Tammin (Pretty Little Liars) and Red Carpet Roxy (Hollywood entertainment host) all about how the standards of Hollywood impact their views on sex, all about their sexual fantasies, and how the pandemic has impacted their sex lives. It's an hour of pure honesty, laughter, and feeling like you're chatting with three of your good friends. Check out Women on Top Podcast wherever you get your podcasts, and make sure to go follow them on instagram at @womenontop @tamminsursok and @redcarpetroxy.

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Danielle and Adam take a fun walk down memory lane talking about everything from their first memories, to what they collected as kids, to stuff their parents did that would get them arrested today. They also discuss what they would like to replicate from the households in which they grew up, and what they're hoping to do differently. What part of the 80s and 90s are they sad that their kids won't ever experience? If you grew up in the late 70s, 80s, and 90s, this is an episode you won't want to miss.

Want to ask your partner the questions Danielle and Adam ask each other in this episode and others? Purchase the Date Night Questions Experience paperback book here. Use code "MNMPODCAST" for 15% off and have all the conversations you've always wanted to experience with your partner.

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Last week's Guilt Episode, Revisited, uncovered a lot of questions that had gone unanswered after not talking much about this topic for the past two and a half years. Now, Adam and Danielle are breaking down Adam's feelings, giving advice to couples going through similar situations, and exploring how to trust a partner again after a period of contention. Should a spouse be allowed to go through her or his partner's social media? Is there a time limit on anger and hurt? Adam and Danielle are discussing it all.

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Laura Tremaine is an avid podcaster, writer, and reader, who has spent several years sharing all aspects of herself with her audience. Danielle wanted to sit down with Laura to discuss her new book, "Share Your Stuff, I'll Go First," because they both have similar feelings about putting it all out there in the name of others feeling less alone. This episode is truly "girl talk" at its best. The whole basis of the book is prompts for conversations with friends or other people in your life, and the two of them go deep discussing their childhoods, how they deal with other people judging them for revealing too much information, checking up on past boyfriends on Facebook, and so much more. Grab a cup of coffee and sit down with these two women and get ready to feel like you're talking with two good friends.

Check out Laura's book Share Your Stuff, I'll Go First

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Two-and-a-half years ago, Adam and Danielle put out their most downloaded episode ever, revealing some very personal details of their marriage. To this day, it remains one of the most revealing and vulnerable episodes of any relationship podcast. Now, they're talking about all the ways they've grown and evolved since the release of that episode, and the ways in which they are still affected by those same issues. Danielle asks some questions she still has about that infamous night, and Adam tries to explain the details of the mysterious aspects that surround the night of Danielle 40th birthday celebration. There is still a lot to discuss about that night, and although love the current state of their relationship, those memories have not just disappeared. NOTE: THIS IS A VERY RAW CONVERSATION HAPPENING IN REAL TIME.

There's a lot of history, frustration, emotion, and pent up curiosity here, and listeners are encouraged to listen with an understanding that this is an extremely personal issue they are sharing with the world, unedited.

Danielle gets extremely raw in this episode, and so much comes pouring out that she has been waiting to say for so long. Part 2 will highlight more about Adam's experience and how they will both be moving forward together.

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In several podcast episodes, Danielle has been very open about her struggles with OCD since she was diagnosed at 19-years-old. But on today's episode, she and Alegra talk about Obsessive Compulsive disorder in a raw, deep way that can only be done by two people who have suffered from the illness firsthand. Alegra is a therapist and expert in OCD with her own specialized practice in NYC, and runs the amazing instagram account and community @obsessivelyeverafter. The two talk all about the different types of OCD, how to be a good advocate, what REAL therapy looks like, and what parents can look for in their kids if they're concerned a child might be showing signs of OCD. Whether you suffer from OCD, know someone who does, or have always just wanted to better understand this illness, this is an episode you will not want to miss.

Follow Alegra on Instagram at instagram.com/obsessivelyeverafter

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