"My husband won't do anything. He is so lazy. Everything ends up on my plate, and I’m drowning in responsibility. I can't keep living like this." Does this sound like you? If your spouse seems like they don’t want to do anything or don’t care about anything, it can be hard to know where to start in turning things around.

If you're struggling with a husband who doesn't seem to invest in or care about helping you out in your day-to-day relationship, I totally get how frustrating this can be. My own marriage faced this struggle at one point, and I can help you talk to your spouse about what’s going on and how things can change.

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I just don't know how to get past what has happened. I can't get the images out of my head of who he has been with and the things that he has done.

I've had so many women who have been divorced and even some that are in a second marriage happily married say to me, "I wish I would have made my first marriage work." If you feel like you don't know how to do that, we can help.

Does this sound like you? If you are struggling with feeling attracted to your husband after he has cheated on you, then that is what we are going to talk about in this episode of Quick Tips

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Is your husband pulling away from you, and you don't know why? The one quote you need to remember when trying to understand why your husband is pulling away is that people don't leave what they have unless they believe what they are going to is better. This can mean that it's time to do some self-reflection.

What are some reasons why men pull away? Things like work, addictions, stress, experiencing any loss or going through grief, or it could even be another person. So what are the things that may push your husband away? Feeling controlled, disrespected, ignored, and even feeling unloved. So, how can you bring your husband back to you?

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Have you ever been hurt by somebody that you loved or trusted? The feeling of betrayal might not stem from just one incident, but instead, many different times that your trust was violated where now you don’t feel like you can trust anyone. You might begin to close yourself off because you expect to be hurt. So, how can you rebuild trust in a relationship once it’s lost?

As deep as your mistrust might be right now, you can rebuild trust in a relationship. At Marriage Helper, we’ve worked with thousands upon thousands of couples and helped them rebuild trust in each other. We use a term we call PIES to describe our physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual well-being. These same principles can be applied when understanding trust. Honesty, sensitivity, and accountability can rebuild trust. It will take patience and might be uncomfortable at some points, but you can do it.

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Everyone has insecurities of some sort. Most of the time, they stem from something that happened in childhood or perhaps from a traumatic event that occurred later in life. These insecurities can present themselves in many ways, both emotionally and physically.

The American Psychological Association reports that insecurity is multifaceted. It pertains to an overall sense of uncertainty or anxiety about your worth, abilities, skills, and value as a person conveying the message that you're at risk or in danger of losing something or someone. It has a negative impact on your physical, mental, and emotional state. And without that security you're looking for, it makes you feel like you can't live up to your fullest potential.

Insecurity can present itself in behaviors that are either others-focused or others-avoidant. Read further to find out how you can deal with your husband’s insecurities and help him overcome them.

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Have you ever felt the excitement of new love? When love begins, it’s exciting, and you think about the person often. But is this genuine love, or is it infatuation? Infatuation refers to the early stages of a relationship when the adrenaline is pumping and chemicals are produced in your brain that make it exciting and euphoric. But can infatuation truly be a form of love?

In the social sciences, we study love in different ways. Many models have been made of the various types of love, and infatuation is indeed part of love. The upside is that it feels fantastic. The downside is that it doesn’t last that long. Therefore, if you want a longer-lasting relationship, you can’t stop with the infatuation. You need to work on all three of Dr. Robert Sternberg’s essential components for a long-lasting relationship - intimacy, passion, and commitment.

How To Get Your Spouse Back Free Mini Course:
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There's a process to falling in love. At Marriage Helper, we call it the love path. Whether you knew it or not, you followed a process that led you to fall in love with your spouse. There isn't a soulmate that you are waiting to connect with, and it has nothing to do with horoscopes or the alignment of the stars and moon. But why do you love someone?

There are four parts of attraction that we have labeled the PIES; physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual. The first step of falling in love is attraction. It draws you closer to the other person. If you continue to follow the process of the love path, you'll fall more in love. But if you stop, you can fall out of love, even if that isn't your intention.

Learn HOW to get your spouse to fall BACK IN LOVE with our FREE Mini Course here:
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Something has changed in your marriage, but you can’t quite put your finger on it. You’re trying not to panic, but you can’t shake this feeling that your wife doesn’t love you anymore. This can be a terrible feeling, but there is hope. But first, we will share with you the three things to look for if you feel like your wife doesn’t love you anymore.

Distance doesn’t always make the heart grow fonder. Having physical or emotional distance in your marriage can be one of the signs that your wife doesn’t love you anymore. We see this happen in many ways, like when your wife walks into the restaurant without you or you start having less frequent meaningful and emotional conversations. While these signs might mean your wife isn’t in love with you anymore, they aren’t a complete diagnosis of your relationship. Our purpose at Marriage Helper is to help you find hope and give you the tools to further live into the hope of a better, stronger marriage.

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Has your spouse ever given you an ultimatum? Have you given your spouse one? Not all types of ultimatums can be bad. Your motive behind them is what’s important. Are you trying to control them, or are you trying to protect them or your loved ones from their destructive behavior?

An ultimatum says that a specific thing needs to stop or occur in a certain time frame; otherwise, a negative consequence will be the result. People react to demands such as this differently. There are psychological reasons behind this that start to develop when we are as small as two-years-old. The desire to follow your own free will is why ultimatums often get a negative response. However, that doesn’t mean that they don’t have their uses.

Episode mention:

Boundaries Toolkit - https://marriagehelper.com/boundaries-in-marriage-toolkit/

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Being controlled by anyone is terrible, but it's especially painful when the person controlling you is your wife. 

How can you break free of someone who controls your thoughts, decisions, passions, and hobbies? 

At Marriage Helper, we have developed an acronym called PIES to determine your physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing. Then, we can use that same principle to demonstrate how control manifests in a relationship. 

Regardless of its form, no control is good for a marriage. While the steps might not be easy, refusing to be controlled is necessary for transforming from a controlling marriage to a healthy one.

Mentions:

How To Stop A Controlling Marriage eBook - https://your.marriagehelper.com/how-to-stop-a-controlling-spouse-ebook-sign-up

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