Masks Off: Inner Freedom For People-Pleasers and Perfectionists

Did you know that avoidance is a strategy for dealing with anxiety or worry? Have you ever noticed that you go into avoidance mode whenever you feel anxious or worried? According to Brene Brown’s newest book “Atlas of the Heart,” avoidance is not benign. It can hurt us, hurt other people, and lead to increased and mounting anxiety.  If this all sounds too familiar to you then you will want to listen to this episode. If you want to have more courage and confront the things that you are worrying about, then try removing the “avoidance mask.”

“It is not fear that stops you from doing the brave and true thing in your daily life. Rather, the problem is avoidance. You want to feel comfortable, so you avoid doing or saying the thing that will evoke fear and other difficult emotions. Avoidance will make you feel less vulnerable in the short run, but it will never make you less afraid.” ~ Dr. Harriet Lerner

Go to our Teachable Online School and check out our courses including our signature FREE “Balancing Your Backpack” and “I AM WHOLE” Courses https://masksoff.teachable.com/courses

To Contact Us:

Instagram: @masksoffcommunity

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Masks Off Email: [email protected]

Masks Off YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q

Tia Fagan

Website: tiafagan.com

Kim Gross

Website: unlock-yourmind.com

Email: [email protected]

Episode 125

Robert Astwood, our guest on this episode, has an amazing and infectious, inspiring energy. Robert has such a vision for rethinking the way we school our youth and we have no doubt that his ideas and vision for changing the system will have a positive impact in the world. He is an advocate for cultivating the whole child and for providing the student with a voice in his/her education. Rather than just depositing information into the minds of these young students, he believes that the students participate in what he terms “engage education.” This is when the individual learns to use every opportunity as an opportunity to grow and learns to use “setbacks as stepping stones.” You truly want to listen to this one.

“Youth should be a period of discovery, wonder, excitement. It should be filled with learning through experiences and cultivating the various parts of the human person, not just their technical, math, or linguistic minds, but their kinesthetic, emotional, and intrapersonal minds as well.” ~ Robert Astwood

Three takeaways:

1. What is the banking model of education? ~ 6 minutes

2. What is the difference between schooling and education? ~ 12 minutes

3.  What is Robert’s vision and mission for changing the education paradigm?~ 35 minutes

Robert is offering a 25% discount on his book, The Essence of Education, use the offer code “EOE”.

About Robert

Hailing from the Bronx, NY, Robert Astwood is a staunch advocate for systemic school change and education reform. His life mission is to uproot the U.S. neoliberal school system and rebuild it on altruism, interdependence, and the whole-person approach to education. He currently works at Elevate Education as a life coach and he is actively seeking to impact the lives of the youth every day. Robert also hosts a podcast on school change and is a content creator on Instagram providing life education tips.

Connect with Robert:

Website: www.astereducation.net

Instagram: aster_education

Twitter: aster_education

Podcast: The Aster Education Podcast

Go to our Teachable Online School and check out our courses including our signature FREE “Balancing Your Backpack” and “I AM WHOLE” Courses https://masksoff.teachable.com/courses

To Contact Us:

Instagram: @masksoffcommunity

FB Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity

Masks Off Email: [email protected]

Masks Off YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q

Tia Fagan

Website: tiafagan.com

Kim Gross

Website: unlock-yourmind.com

Email: [email protected]

In this episode Kim and Tia have a fun conversation about comparison.  They used Brene Brown’s newest book “Atlas of the Heart” as a springboard for a conversation about what researchers call upward and downward comparison.  Both Kim and Tia take off their masks and share how comparison has shown up in their lives.  As Brene Brown writes, comparison is something that just happens to us and it is very normal, but what we do about it when it shows up in our lives is up to us. We can strive to stay in our own lane and wish the best for the person in the lane next to us. This is where connection comes in rather than always comparing.

“Comparison is the crush of conformity from one side and competition from the other-it’s trying to simultaneously fit in and stand out.” ~Brene Brown

Go to our Teachable Online School and check out our courses including our signature FREE “Balancing Your Backpack” and “I AM WHOLE” Courses https://masksoff.teachable.com/courses

To Contact Us:

Instagram: @masksoffcommunity

FB Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity

Masks Off Email: [email protected]

Masks Off YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q

Tia Fagan

Website: tiafagan.com

Kim Gross

Website: unlock-yourmind.com

Email: [email protected]

Episode 123

How many times have you told yourself that you were going to start eating healthier, start exercising, start organizing your house or reach out and meet new people and you just can’t seem to do it? It doesn’t matter what habit or circumstance it is that you try to change, you just seem to stick with what is old and familiar. Why does this happen? This is a complex and complicated topic and Kim and Tia do their best to tackle the reasons why we self-sabotage. While they do not have all the answers why we do this to ourselves they do share their experiences with self-sabotage which they are certain that you can probably relate to the feeling of self-sabotage.

“Each of us has an inner thermostat setting that determines how much love, success, and creativity we allow ourselves to enjoy. When we exceed our inner thermostat setting, we will often do something to sabotage ourselves, causing us to drop back into the old, familiar zone where we feel secure.” ~ Gay Hendricks

Go to our Teachable Online School and check out our courses including our signature FREE Balancing Your Backpack Course https://masksoff.teachable.com/courses

To Contact Us:

Instagram: @masksoffcommunity

FB Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity

Masks Off Email: [email protected]

Masks Off YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q

Tia Fagan

Website: tiafagan.com

Kim Gross

Website: unlock-yourmind.com

Email: [email protected]

Episode 122

Robin Arzon, a popular Peloton instructor, often states that pain is your power. This can be true and pain can be a powerful portal to healing and growth if you let it. However, the key is learning to become aware that your pain is an opportunity for you to learn and grow. Many people allow themselves to remain in the victim role and thus get swallowed up by their pain. Let it be said that it is not an easy process to heal and transform pain or to even have the mindset that your pain is your power. It takes time and work to heal from past pain and to even feel your feelings. We are taught to suppress our pain and feelings. So, to cultivate this new way of being can be a challenge, but it is so worth it in the end. To hear Kim, Tia and Dinuka share their stories of how pain became power in their lives, listen in.

“Don't be afraid to shed your skin. Your next iteration gloriously awaits.” ~ Dr.  Shefali

Three takeaways:

To claim Dinuka’s Free Gift go to: www.theparentingevolution.com

About Dinuka:

Dinuka is first and foremost the mother of 2 amazing boys ages 11 and 9.  They have been her true teachers on this path of Conscious Parenting.

Having been admitted to the New York Bar in 2008 as an attorney she decided to follow her calling to work with children.  She jumped right in and bought a Preschool, Kid Works Children’s Center. In search of more wisdom, she completed and graduated from the Conscious Coaching Institute of Dr. Shefali Tsabary and received her Conscious Parenting Method Certification in 2019, prior to which she certified in the Emotion Code Energy Healing Modality by Dr. Bradley Nelson.

Connect with Dinuka:

https://linktr.ee/theparentingevolution

www.theparentingevolution.com

[email protected]

https://www.facebook.com/groups/consciousparentingwithdinukaadeepdive

Go to our Teachable Online School and check out our courses including our signature FREE Balancing Your Backpack Course https://masksoff.teachable.com/courses

To Contact Us:

Instagram: @masksoffcommunity

FB Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity

Masks Off Email: [email protected]

Masks Off YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q

Tia Fagan

Website: tiafagan.com

Kim Gross

Website: unlock-yourmind.com

Email: [email protected]

Episode 121

Do you ever wonder why an event or behavior can trigger one person and that same event or behavior has absolutely no impact on another? Do you find that whenever you are activated, reactive or upset that you tend to blame another person or circumstance? The reality is that the reason we get triggered is that there is some emotional wound within us that is getting activated. Have you ever noticed that one parent can get upset by something that a child says or does and the other parent is not bothered by it at all? Again, the parent that is being triggered is upset because it is activating something within that parent. The goal is to go inward whenever we feel triggered and heal that part of us that is wounded.

“Whatever is triggering you is on you.” ~ Richie Norton

Go to our Teachable Online School and check out our courses including our signature FREE Balancing Your Backpack Course https://masksoff.teachable.com/courses

To Contact Us:

Instagram: @masksoffcommunity

FB Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity

Masks Off Email: [email protected]

Masks Off YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q

Tia Fagan

Website: tiafagan.com

Kim Gross

Website: unlock-yourmind.com

Email: [email protected]

Episode 120

How easy is it for you to let others “see into” your heart.  Do you consider yourself to be guarded when it comes to allowing others to see your true self? In this episode Kim and Tia have a deep conversation about being vulnerable. We live in a culture where it is more the norm to be strong and put together. We live in a culture where vulnerability is viewed as weakness. As a result of these mindsets it is difficult to feel deeply connected to others. So, are you willing to loosen the grip of the protector mask just a little and let others in while using discernment to still protect your heart with people that may not be willing or capable of holding your heart in a safe way.

“You do not protect your heart by keeping it closed but by learning to choose which people you let get close.” ~ Unknown

Go to our Teachable Online School and check out our courses including our signature FREE Balancing Your Backpack Course https://masksoff.teachable.com/courses

To Contact Us:

Instagram: @masksoffcommunity

FB Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity

Masks Off Email: [email protected]

Masks Off YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q

Tia Fagan

Website: tiafagan.com

Kim Gross

Website: unlock-yourmind.com

Email: [email protected]

Episode 119

If you want to know more about anxiety and mental well-being, Andrea Gonzalez is your person. She is a clinical psychologist who has so much wisdom. In this talk, we explored so many topics from tuning into the body and the breath to integrating all parts of ourselves. Andrea talked about the importance of having compassion for ourselves, as well as others, and that having this compassion really is the glue and key to thriving.

“I am both enough and still capable of more.”

― Andrea Gonzalez

Three takeaways:

1. What are some practical ways to get our bodies into a calm state? ~ 7 minutes

2. How can we have more balance so that we can thrive? ~13 minutes

3. Is it possible to reverse the effects of a weak nervous system? ~ 24 minutes

About Andrea:

Andrea is a clinical psychologist and is passionate about mental health awareness, gender equanimity, love and connection.

Connect with Andrea:

Email: [email protected]

FB: andre gonzalez

IG: @thehelperstent

Go to our Teachable Online School and check out our courses including our signature FREE Balancing Your Backpack Course https://masksoff.teachable.com/courses

To Contact Us:

Instagram: @masksoffcommunity

FB Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity

Masks Off Email: [email protected]

Masks Off YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q

Tia Fagan

Website: tiafagan.com

Kim Gross

Website: unlock-yourmind.com

Email: [email protected]

Episode 118

We all have life situations going on and some of us handle them better than others. It can be hard and overwhelming to stay peaceful whenever we feel overloaded or bombarded with life. The key is to learn and cultivate a practice to be able to find peace and calm in your heart even in the midst of the storm. There are many ways that one can find peace and calm. Kim and Tia share some examples of how they find peace and groundedness when they are facing a storm. To hear and learn more, listen in.

“Peace, it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.” ~Unknown

Go to our Teachable Online School and check out our courses including our signature FREE Balancing Your Backpack Course https://masksoff.teachable.com/courses

To Contact Us:

Instagram: @masksoffcommunity

FB Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity

Masks Off Email: [email protected]

Masks Off YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q

Tia Fagan

Website: tiafagan.com

Kim Gross

Website: unlock-yourmind.com

Email: [email protected]

Episode 117

Are you an overachiever, a perfectionist, or a people pleaser? If so, it is very probable that you were a “golden child” when you were young. As the quote states, a golden child tries to please and satisfy at least one parent and usually it is a narcissistic parent. The golden child feels responsible for their parents’ happiness.  This golden child is often well behaved and fits perfectly into the saying of “be seen and not heard.” It is a tremendous burden for the golden child because he/she has to be so perfect and has the responsibility to make everyone happy. This mask becomes a part of the golden child’s identity and if this part is not healed, wearing this mask can become detrimental to the well being of that person.

“These children don’t just want to satisfy their parents- they feel obligated and responsible for doing so. It becomes a significant part of their identity” ~Alexander Burgemeester

Go to our Teachable Online School and check out our courses including our signature FREE Balancing Your Backpack Course https://masksoff.teachable.com/courses

To Contact Us:

Instagram: @masksoffcommunity

FB Masks Off Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masksoffcommunity

Masks Off Email: [email protected]

Masks Off YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCaWJfO7ZFd4aYBX3e-clj9Q

Tia Fagan

Website: tiafagan.com

Kim Gross

Website: unlock-yourmind.com

Email: [email protected]

Episode 116